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Mr. Phoenix. A bit offended, are we? I was wondering just when you’d pick up on the fact that i’ve been giving you a verbal bitchslapping ever since you set foot in this company. Remember the whole Tabasco incident? Burns, doesn’t it? Why’d we pick you? Because you’re a fucking ignoramus. I hate to break it to you, but... Well, no I don’t, but anyway... You are the worst wrestler in EWO today. Plain and simple. You and that Tarzan jackass are vying for the position, but as of yet you’ve beat him out. Probably because everyone’s seen you in the ring. The truth always hurts, Phoenix. Deal with it. Now, you think that i’m cocky because I have protection? Seth, Cody, Drake, yeah, they’re qualified as protection. But Hobo Nick? He’s sixty-five, dumbass. Plus, I have never had any of them interfere in one of my matches. There’s the obvious exception of when I faced Suave Jonez... All Cody did was provide a chair. And if you actually looked closely, you’d see that I gave Jonez a perfect opportunity to hit me with it before I even touched him. It’s all in the details, Phoenix. Have you actually seen my matches? Because if you had, you’d see that I don’t fucking need the protection. It’s there for when i’m feeling lazy. But the important thing here... Is you had better not interfere in my fucking match at Avengement. I will kill you. I win my fucking matches on my own... If you so much as consider thinking of considering costing Blade the match, i’ll castrate you with a rusty butter knife.
According to you, Blade will lose the title. No shit, Sherlock. But not with your help. And then I, will have a short time in the sun before you reign supreme.... Reign supreme, over what? The EWO? Now that, that’s a fantasy if I ever heard one. Don’t you realize? I am CLAIMING the gutz and glory title. It is the suckiest title around today... So why am I, a person of world title caliber, going after it? Because... As i’ve said before, I like the name. And it signifies hardcore. Maybe, you’ve never seen me in the ring. If that’s the case, your misjudgments can be forgiven. A female version of Sabu...With decent looks. Then add a fucking two ton bucket of confidence and mental instabilities... And you have me.
Now... You called me a slut face? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Tell me, Phoenix... What is your reasoning behind calling me that? You can’t answer. Because you don’t have any reasoning. You’re one of those people who spits out the first random, overused insult that comes into your head. You’re predictable. One of “those” people. Cody knows what i’m talking about. He used to be one of “those” people. Until he got some much needed tutoring. There are three common insults for females, and they are generally the only ones people like you will use. Slut. Whore. Bitch. Occasionally you may get creative and add “face” on the end of one of them... But that’s usually as far as it goes. Your little friend called me a harlot. Seems someone knows how to use a thesaurus. My, aren’t we proud. But, ladies and gentlemen, what does harlot mean? Whore. Insults mean nothing if there is no truth behind them. I’m happily married... And disgusted by any man who even fucking thinks he could compare to Seth. But now there’s the matter of the word bitch, which you used as well. Two out of three, buddy, congrats. Rico Suave learned this lesson a while ago. Now i’m going to teach you. Listen carefully.
I AM a bitch. ADMITTEDLY. I pride myself on it. I am a fucking asshole with no genuine concern for the public. I hate society, I hate the law, I hate America, I hate the world and I really hate you. And no, that’s not supposed to worry you. I’m just letting you know.
“Some would say that we're biased, accusations that we’re racist. Well, shit comes in all hues. Now this means you. Cause things ain’t always like they seem. We hate everyone. We don’t care what you think” “We Hate Everyone” - Type O Negative
.[Zombie Stomp -y Dos-].
.[Flirting with disaster
Morning after killing me again
Hiding from the laughter
And the demons dancing round my brain
Always dancing on thin ice
I guess I'll have to pay the price
Hey, hey, do the zombie stomp
Thinkin' how it could have been
If I had never let them in
Hey, hey, do the zombie, zombie stomp
Hey, hey, do the zombie stomp
Hey, hey, do the zombie stomp].
SCENE:Press Conference
DATE:October 6, 2004
TIME:1:33 P.M.
LOCATION:Seattle, Washington
Reporter: Jimmy Stryker.
Stryker perks up, seemingly ecstatic that someone wants to speak with him.
Reporter: You owe me twenty bucks from the game last night. You better fuckin’ pay up.
Stryker nods, disappointed.
Jalie Thomas: Who wants Arby’s?!
Seth Thomas: Later, babe. We just got back.
Jalie grumbles and lays her head back on the table with a pouty sigh. Another reporter stands up and points directly at Seth.
Reporter: You two really married? ‘Cause i’ve seen alotta bullshit marriages in wrestling.
Seth Thomas: Yes, we’re really married.
The reporter looks at Seth like he’s an idiot. He shakes his head and sits down. Seth looks incredibly confused, whereas Cody nods in agreement. The convention director steps on stage for a moment, checking his watch and looking desperate to get out of the crowded space. He pauses to tell them that there’s time for one more question before stepping back off stage. A female reporter stands and removes a notepad and pen.
Reporter: I’m Maxine Cummings fro-
The reporter pauses as Cody and Jalie begin to giggle.
Maxine Cummings: ....From WKBA. I was hoping to ask you some questions regarding your parents murder, Seth. According to the police you were there on the night of the fire. What was it like, watching your home burn down when you were merely a child?
Hobo Nick: I OBJECT!
Director: This isn’t a trial, Mister Nick.
Hobo Nick: She’s badgering the witness!
Maxine Cummings: Mister Nick I think the public has a right to kno-
Hobo Nick: And I think you have a right to kiss my ass. My client has no comment at this point in time.
Maxine looks incredibly frustrated and gathers her things to leave. Seth stands from the table, looking disgusted. He storms off stage as Cody and Stryker follow. Nick saunters off stage, flashing a cocky look to the sea of reporters as they all begin to head out of the building.
.Two Hours Later.
The scene returns to the empty conference room. Jalie slowly lifts her head off the table, a piece of paper stuck straight in the middle of her forehead.
Jalie Thomas: I’m bliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind!!
She makes a barely audible grunt, before stumbling to her feet. She attempts to run off stage but smacks into the door frame and crumples to the ground as the scene fades.
.Quatro.
The scene fades in to the outside of a downtown club. We see Jalie’s beat-up black El Camino pull up outside. She gets out and slams the door. We see her head up to the door, dressed in a pair of baggy light blue jeans that are torn at the knees and hanging low enough on her waist to show off her men’s boxer-briefs. With it she’s got on a black wifebeater and a necklace chain equipped with a large silver pentacle. She’s stopped by the bouncer who’s nearly two feet taller than her.
Bouncer: Name?
Jalie Thomas: Yo Mama.
The bouncer raises an eyebrow as Jalie seems to reconsider.
Jalie Thomas: Jalie.. Thomas. Wrestler person...
She coughs as the bouncer checks his patented list that so many people would love to be on. Jalie could care less. Finally he steps back and unclips the red rope. She steps past him and into the club. She’s immediately blasted by the bad techno/trance music that’s pounding over the speakers. She rolls her eyes and pushes past a swarm of modern hippies... As in ravers. X-Droppers. Whatever. Jalie pushes through to the bar and sits down, looking around. Who is she looking for? Hobo Nick, of course. It’s a little known fact that Nick has an accidental drug problem. Last time he went missing, took two hits of ecstasy, and ended up in Canada on Seth Thomas’ front lawn wearing nothing but his underwear... All the while blasting Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” over a boombox he stole from a pawn shop looting. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he woke Seth up by singing along to the best of his ability, and seemed to be under the impression that Seth was his lover. But, getting back to the club. Jalie orders a Corona and twists it open, glancing around the bar. A few seats down, Dirk Phoenix approaches the bar. Jalie smirks and takes a long pull of her beer. Phoenix is obviously uncomfortable. Aomori appears beside him and Jalie looks on as the two get into somewhat of a lovers quarrel. It results in Phoenix getting cracked in the head with a bottle. Jalie smiles and looks slightly cheered up. Suddenly she spots Nick in the far corner, dancing on a table in his underwear with a petite blonde. Jalie makes her way through the crowd to stand in front of him.
Jalie Thomas: Nick! Get the fuck off of there!
Hobo Nick: Jalie! Get the stick outta your ass!
The blonde giggles. Jalie grabs her by her g-string and pulls her off the table, knocking her unconscious.
Jalie Thomas: What’d you take this time? LSD? Acid? Or was it x again?
Hobo Nick: The former. Er, latter. THE LAST ONE! IT’S LOUD IN HERE! IS IT JUST ME?!
Jalie helps him off the table and leads him out of the club and to the car. He dives into the passenger side and locks the doors.
Jalie Thomas: Nick... Open the door.
Nick sticks his tongue out at her and turns the radio on. The station resembles the same shit from the club. Nick starts licking his fingers and rubbing his nipples as Jalie looks disgusted.
Jalie Thomas: Nick, open the fucking door.
Nick flips her off and continues his self-satisfying strip-tease.
Jalie Thomas: Open the god damned door!
Nick faces away from her, pulls his tightie whities down, and moons her as the scene fades out.
.[Avengement].
Blade!
SPEAK GOD DAMNIT!
Fin.
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Avengement |
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• Losses [4] • Draws [0] |