Voice Over: Harrison Lewis... He claims the defendant ruined his grandmother’s car, and caused him to develop an eating disorder. He’s suing for 15,000 dollars worth of damages, hospital bills, and emotional pain and suffering.

Harrison attempts to squeeze through the gate, and eventually has to turn sideways. A man sitting on Jalie’s side of the benches begins to taunt him.

Random Asshole: Fatty fatty two by four, can’t fit through the kitchen door!

Lo and behold... It’s Seth Thomas. Who’d have thought? Now, the door swings open once more and Jalie walks in. She’s dressed in a pair of hot pink vinyl pants, along with a Darkwell t-shirt that’s been hacked up into a halter. She pushes past the gate and gives a short glance to Harrison. He sticks his nose in the air. The look on Jalie’s face tells a story of pure hatred.. And cheese. Why cheese? How the fuck should I know?

Guard: All rise for the honorable Judge.. Uh... Philips. Yeah, that’s it.

Jalie snorts at the word “honorable”, receiving a glare from the guard. She returns it by sticking out her tongue. The judge takes his seat and places a pair of rimless glasses low on his nose. This way, it’s easier to look down on people.

Judge Philips: Mister Lewis, I understand you’re suing Mrs. Thomas for the amount of fifteen thousand dollars. This being on account of her trashing your grandmothers car and giving you.. An eating disorder. Is this correct?

Harrison nods, and Jalie slams her hand down on the podium.

Jalie Thomas: I object! You believe him already!

Judge Philips: I have not given a ruling yet, Miss Thomas... Interrupt me again and i’ll immediately rule in favor of the plaintiff. Now, Mister Lewis, please give me your account of what happened on.. September the twenty-third.

Harrison Lewis: Well, your honor, I had just taken my grandmother to her doctors appointment. When she was through, I offered to take her out to lunch. To Arby’s. We were in the drive-through when a large black, and rather menacing looking El Camino pulled up behind us. I was trying to place my order, but the cashier was unable to hear me due to Miss Thomas blaring her horn.. Quite impatiently.

Jalie Thomas: Bullshit! Philip’s, are you honestly gonna listen to a guy who looks like a human shaped condom?! For christs sake it looks like he‘s gonna bust out of that thing at any minute!

Harrison Lewis: It’s lycra!

Jalie Thomas: Yes, but it’s still governed by the laws of physics!

Judge Philips: Miss Thomas! Let the man continue!

Jalie crosses her arms over her chest and glares at the judge, as Lewis continues his speech.

Harrison Lewis: As I was saying... Finally, I got out of the car and walked back to knock on Miss Thomas’ window. She got out of the car and began making sexual advances toward me in an attempt to get me to move my vehicle.

Laughter goes up around the room, including from those on Lewis’ side.

Jalie Thomas: I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.

Harrison Lewis: .... When I refused, she began to get violent. She reached inside the vehicle and pulled out a large black crowbar, then began threatening me with it. I tried to run back to my car, but Miss Thomas caught up with me. She uh, managed to hook the back of my pants onto the bumper of the car. Then she started smashing the windows in... Then the roof, the tail-lights, the entire car. By the time she was done, the car was so trashed I couldn’t even look in to see if my grandmother was alright.

Judge Philips: She was inside the whole time?

Harrison Lewis: Yes, your honor. But she’s fine. She’s deaf.. And blind. Anyway, after destroying the car she walked up to me and started insulting me. Saying I was a spokesmodel for gastric bypass surgery.. Or Subway. After the verbal assault, I was so hurt that I became anorexic for a while.

Jalie Thomas: Obviously not long enough.

Judge Philips: Miss Thomas that’s ENOUGH. If we weren‘t desperate for ratings i‘d have you thrown out right now. Thank you mister Lewis... Now, Miss Thomas... Let‘s hear your side of how this happened.

Jalie Thomas: Well.. I went to Arby’s and this guy was in front of me. His order was so fucking long I had to sit there for nearly half an hour. So finally I start laying on the horn, and he gets out to start bitching at me. So I got out and told him to sit the fuck down or i’d lay him out with the crowbar. He listened. Then I made an example of his car. Even if the old lady wasn’t deaf she couldn’t of heard me anyway because he was blasting some sort of gospel rock shit.

Harrison Lewis: It’s called Rock Out for Jesus!

Jalie Thomas: Oh, please. Jesus was a hippie. He probably listened to the Beatle’s and Cat Steven’s... Or at least their early equivalent. Anyway... After I trashed the car I got bored and went inside to place my order. Then I went home. I don’t see what the big fucking deal is.

Judge Philips: So you admit to these charges?

Jalie Thomas: Absofrigginlutely. Except for the whole sexual advances part.

Suddenly Hobo Nick stands up from his bench behind her.

Hobo Nick: I object! My client is incoherent- and an idiot.

Judge Philips: Be that as it may, sir, she leaves me no choice but to rule in favor of the plaintiff for the amount of 15,000 dollars. Now please, get her the hell out of my courtroom.

Jalie kicks over the podium in frustration.

Jalie Thomas: So we can get paid for being morbidly obese jackasses now?! Hell, I should change my profession.

Seth and Nick stand, escorting Jalie from the room before the guards can get to her. Back in the hall, Lewis is being interviewed. Jalie is seen being dragged along behind him, kicking and screaming as the scene fades out.

.Dos.

The scene returns to the Thomas‘ darkened bedroom in San Diego. The door slams open as Seth and Jalie walk in. Jalie drops her bag on the floor before collapsing onto the large four-poster bed. Seth shuts the door quietly and settles on the bed next to her.

Jalie Thomas: Do you want to tell me about it...? It might help. You’ve been quiet all night.

Seth Thomas: Don’t patronize me... Please quit bringing it up.

Jalie sits up, running a hand through his hair. She sighs.

Jalie Thomas: It’s not healthy. Holding everything in like this. You’d feel better if you would at least talk about it.

Seth Thomas: Yeah? Look who’s talking.

Jalie pulls her hand back as if he was burning. Seth’s face softens and he realizes he made a big mistake. Jalie stands and heads toward the door.

Jalie Thomas: You don’t want my support, fine. I don’t even know what i’m here for anymore...

She walks out, shutting the door softly. Her footsteps are heard padding down the stairs. Seth gets up and heads for the door to follow her. Jalie’s now seen sitting at the kitchen table, a bottle of JD in front of her. She stares at it blankly as Seth leans against the door frame.

Seth Thomas: I just wish you wouldn’t push me.

Jalie rolls her eyes, pouring a shot into the cap of the bottle and downing it.

Jalie Thomas: You’re pushing yourself, Seth. Towards a mental fucking breakdown. You haven’t even called Chris back. What are you afraid of? That they’ll think you did it?

Seth Thomas: Don’t be ridiculous. You know me better than that.

Jalie Thomas: Lately, I wonder. Ever since Chris called you’ve been acting funny. Maybe you should see a counselor.

Seth Thomas: Me? You won’t leave me alone! All I have to do is look at you the wrong way and suddenly I need a counselor. I’m not the one who’s been acting weird since the call. You’re making a big deal out of this when it’s nothing.

Jalie Thomas: Oh it’s something, Seth. Your parents were murdered. And you act like everything’s peachy fucking keen. Pardon me for being your wife!

Jalie takes a long pull off the bottle, cradling it as if for security. Seth walk up behind her and places a hand on her shoulder.

Seth Thomas: I’m sorry... You’re right, i’m just... Feeling a little out of place. Stressed out, I guess. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I didn’t mean any of that.

Seth half lifts her out of the chair. She throws her arms around him and buries her face in his chest.

Jalie Thomas: Don’ be mean to me no more.

Seth Thomas: I won’t, baby... I promise.

Seth sighs, holding her close to him as the scene fades.

.[Violence].

Umm. Who the fuck is David Jax? And Andrew Powers... I believe he’s new as well. Fucking rookies. I know, I know... I haven’t been here all that long either. But long enough. I hold a title, don’t I? Shitty as that title may be. Mike Morsey. Oh dear god. Epic, why do you hate me? Cody Carson.. Now that would’ve been a suitable tag partner. Who cares if he’s already booked? He can do double duty! But Morsey? Why? Then again, I guess it’s only evening up the odds for Jarvis, right? His team consists of two rookies. Whether they’re in his stable or not. So right now- they’re nothing. Because I haven’t heard shit from either of them to show me otherwise.

Jarvis.

Fucking hell. What is wrong with you? I expected so much more. You’re an incredible disappointment, Lawrence. The last thing I expected you to do was to stoop down to the Dirk Phoenix level. Are you honestly that lacking in creativity that you have to resort to calling me a slut? You did it slightly more creatively than Phoenix, i’ll give you that, but you still did nothing more than call me the first unoriginal insult that pops into your head. I’m a dirty skank, a slut that just rolled up off the streets...? Charming... And how very thoughtful. Come up with it all by yourself did you? You disgust me.

I’ve come to the conclusion that insecurity plays a big part in this situation. Maybe when men realize i’m MARRIED and they’ll never have a chance in hell with me, they attempt to make themselves feel better by shooting me down. Referring to me as a slut, a skank, whore... Or let’s not forget, claiming that I want them. Spare me. Please. Seth is so far out of your fucking league it’s ridiculous. And he’s mine. Trust me, i’m a very happy woman. But your random name-calling frustrates me. What is your basis, Lawrence? Tell me what gives you reason to believe that i‘m a slut? Pity you can‘t answer. Because you have no basis for your insults. Which makes you, in turn, look like a blatant jackass.

Tell me Jarvis, does your confidence blind you to the point that you cannot see the entire roster laughing at you behind your back? Hell, sometimes right in your face but I suppose... I suppose that’s the beauty of selective hearing.

As for Alexia. She means nothing to me, Jarvis. As far as i’m concerned she’s just another ‘diva’ , until she’s proved otherwise. I haven’t seen anything impressive from her whatsoever. According to you, she’s more attractive than I am. Alright... Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. Do I seem like the kind of person who cares much about their looks? Do you honestly think I care if Alexia is prettier than I am? Please. You bother me. But, getting back to the whole ‘insecurity’ issue. You refer to yourself in a pretty high manner. You’re incredibly cocky. Nothing wrong with that. However, when you go a little too far, it becomes a problem. For instance... You cannot beat Seth. Granted, you’ve accomplished alot here in ewo. And you’re not a bad performer. But Seth is simply out of your league. As am I. The primetime title means nothing and before you even say it, no, the guts and glory title doesn’t mean anything either. My theory is that you’re making up for something. No, I don’t mean the size of your dick. Why is that always the first reaction? I mean self assurance. Perhaps you’re a little lacking in the self esteem department... So you make up for it by acting overly confident. I’ve seen it before. Shawn Walsh is a perfect example. Nobody is going for your ‘holier than thou’ bullshit. And simply calling me a slut isn’t going to win you this match. Prove to me that you’re different from all the other imbeciles i’ve faced. Prove to me that you can do something original... Make me work for it, Jarvis. Because this is just too easy.

Fin.

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