.[Forward].

“Open mouth, insert foot”

Learned your lesson, Jarvis? Let’s hope so.

Heed. Silly little boy. After all the years we’ve been in and out of promotions together, I thought you knew me. So you’re sexist. Fine, that’s your opinion. I hope you don’t expect me to get pissed off, because I agree with you. Most women are only good for a few things... I just happen to be a little different. Whether you want to admit I can kick your ass or not is up to you. Go ahead, claim that i’m good for nothing... You and I both know you’re only blowing smoke.

What is it with guys claiming that I want them? Isn’t that usually a dead giveaway that they’re desperate? It doesn’t really matter. As for Seth... There are benefits to being with one person only. Maybe it’s not for some people, but that’s fine. But Seth and I are happy. And you know damn well that if ever had a thing for you, I would have put an end to my life a long time ago. You have also claimed that Cody Carson is copying you.... Right? I‘m not sure how you see this. Especially considering your little, “me greater than you“ comment. Whose dick are you sucking, Chris? Wouldn‘t happen to be Walsh‘s, would it?

And you have the idiocy to make this comment to Erik Dean.

“Mr "Everyone feel sorry for me, wahhh." Cry me a fucking river, douchebag.”

Hmm... What does it look like you’re doing, here. I wonder. Does the fact that your entire promo consisted of pissing and moaning mean anything to you? Haven’t spoken to your family, can’t keep a girl happy, gotta ‘watch your back’ in your ghetto. You think nobody else has, or had it bad? Of course they did. Alot of people come from rough beginnings and i’m sure some of us are still struggling to get out of them. And most of them are a hell of a lot tougher than your situation.

“Say I'm a pussy, go ahead, you stupid fuck. I dare you. I'm troubled, fucked up, and probably the biggest asshole you'll ever meet. Tell me I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Know what? It's not feeling sorry for myself. It's telling you pieces of shit who have the higher class in life what it's like to feel like a schmuck who doesn't belong anywhere anymore.”

As a matter of fact... I happen to be the biggest asshole I know, but whatever. Whether you like it or not, you are feeling sorry for yourself. Nobody wants to listen to you bitch. Especially the people who have had it much harder than you, boy. Everyone knows you’re only putting random people down to make yourself feel better. Because.. Simply put, your life kinda sucks right now. Everyone reaches that point in life, but you seem to be caving because of it. So... I’m about to say what everyone else is thinking.

End it.

Yeah... Fucking die. There’s lots of fun ways to do it. Hell, i’ll do it for you. (wanna see my basement...?) Just so you shut the fuck up.

Dylan Dunn... I’m sure everyone has got wind of this by now. Some psycho fan jumped the barricade and kidnapped him. Plus they recently sent a little video. God only knows what they’re doing to him. Everyone has been worried, hoping for his safe return, you get the idea. But hey, look at the publicity. To be honest, I have never liked Dunn. At all. I despise him. But don’t get me wrong, i’m not completely cold-hearted... Always. Sure, I hope they let him go. Eventually. Nothin’ wrong with puttin’ a little scare into the boy. They just should have contacted me first... My basement’s free.

.[Game On!].
.[don‘t try this at home].

SCENE:Home Again
DATE:October 28th, 2004
TIME:8:07 A.M.
LOCATION:San Diego, California

“You’re goin’ down. Bitch.”

Outside of a suburban home in San Diego. In the street in front of the house a goalie net had been set up. Jalie Thomas, dressed in a pair of baggy camouflage pants, a black tanktop, large gloves and an oversized goalie mask was skating around aimlessly a few feet from the net. A woman dressed in full goalie gear was paused, her hand down the back of her pants.

“Yeah, you look real convincing.” Jalie muttered.

“Shut up, man. This goddamn suit is making me sweaty.” she replied.

“C’mon, just guard the fucking net.” Jalie shouted, pulling a ball in front of her with her stick. She took it around in a wide circle, coming back around and preparing to shoot.

“Car!”

Jalie skated up to our unnamed goalie and the two of them picked up the net, carefully walking it over to the side of the road. A mini-van passed them slowly, and the two carefully brought the net back out to the middle of the street. “Game on!”

Jalie went after the ball, yet again bringing it around to shoot. She swung an sent the ball flying toward the net.

“Car!” the goalie shouted, moving out of the way just in time for the ball to hit the back of the net. Jalie skated to the net and the two moved it out of the way just as an SUV sped past them.

“That counts.” Jalie stated, her voice slightly muffled from the mask.

“Nope. Car came before the ball hit the net. It’s null and void, my friend.” the goalie replied.

“It was IN! You moved so it wouldn’t hit you ya pussy!” Jalie explained.

“Bull! I was getting ready to move the net! Don’t you question my refereeing!” the goalie yelled.

“The car hadn’t even made the turn yet! And since when did YOU become the ref? You can’t judge anything. Hell, you couldn’t even learn from MY mistake!” Jalie exclaimed, tearing off her gloves and throwing them to the ground.

“Oh, you are SO going down!” the goalie muttered, making an attempt to remove her gloves.

“What’re you gonna do, beat me with your stick? You can’t even block a shot with it!” Jalie pointed out, snickering.

The goalie finally managed to toss her gloves to the ground and jumped at Jalie. The two crashed to the ground, fists flying. Jalie grabbed her stick and cracked it down over the goalie’s head, barely phasing her. The two rolled across the pavement, slamming eachother’s heads into the concrete. Finally Cody came barreling out of the house, shortly followed by Seth. The two of them paused, apparently contemplating whether to break them up or look on. In this case, the big head overruled the little one once the goalie came across a philips screwdriver lying in the driveway. Cody ran over and grabbed Jalie around the middle, hauling her up and backward and forcing her to sit down. Her mask had fallen off and her face was bruised and bloody. The goalie’s mask had also been lost along the way. She sat up, brushing her hair out of her face and revealing herself to be none other than Brandi James-Walsh. A black eye had slowly begun to form around her left eye, and her lower lip was busted open. Jalie pushed Cody off to stand up and brush herself off.

“...Anybody else want Arby’s?” she asked.

“Ooh, me.” Brandi replied, getting to her feet as well.

Seth and Cody exchanged a glance but decided not to question them. Smart move, boys.

.Dos.

Brandi and Jalie had taken a seat in Arby’s with a tray of food in front of them.

“So, you think you’re ready for this?” Jalie asked.

“For what?” Brandi questioned. “The EWO?”

“Yeah.” Jalie said while stuffing a burger in her mouth.

“Oh please,” Brandi scoffed, reaching for her soda. “I’ve seen more competition in the Miss America pageant.”

“Hey! Some of us beauty queens might take offense to that.” Jalie snapped. Brandi gave her a smirk.

“Right. I forgot- You know, because you’re so feminine and all.” She replied.

“Damn right.” Jalie mumbled, taking a bite of her burger that was probably twice the size of her mouth. Jalie set the burger down and took a sip of her drink before turning to Brandi with a semi-serious expression.

“I just wanna make sure you’re not worried about Walsh. Not like he’s all that active here, but still. I don’t know. I know you have nothing to worry about... I’m just making sure you’ve got that under wraps as well.” Jalie explained. Brandi gave her a smile, absently stirring her drink.

“Trust me, Walsh is the least of my worries. I didn’t come here to fight with him. I came here to do what I love, and to make some money.”

“Like your man doesn’t have enough cash..” Jalie mutters.

“Yeah, yeah... But I don’t wanna accept gifts from anyone. Not even him. He likes supporting me, but I can handle myself perfectly fine. Brandi James-Walsh takes pity from no one.” Brandi said, giving a faint smirk at the mention of her retained last name. Jalie snickers.

“I don’t know if you’re proving a point by keeping the name or if it’s going to curse you.” she said.

“Nah.. Can’t be a curse. I’m incredibly happy. I earned this name. All the friends I betrayed, all the lives I ruined... Just to make Shawn happy. And that still wasn’t good enough. So... I think I deserve to keep the last name. I would have thought ‘God’ would have seen a move like this coming.” Brandi said with a snort.

“God.... Hmm. Your savior, your god... Your savior, and your God... We have a lot of high and mighty gimmicks in EWO. However can they all co-exist?” Jalie wondered.

“No clue. They probably won’t... Eventually they’ll all get their toes stepped on. But who cares? I came here to have fun... Just chill. It’s nice.” Brandi said.

The two women looked up as Seth Thomas and Cody Carson approach them, glancing at the now empty tray of food.

“You guys ate our order? And your own...?” Cody asked.

Jalie and Brandi both pointed at eachother. Seth shook his head and took a seat next to Jalie, placing his arm around her. Cody glanced around for a chair, but found nothing. Instead, he grabbed a high chair and placed it at the edge of the table, carefully adjusting his ass into it.

“So who’s paying for the next order?” Cody asked, glancing back and forth from Seth and Jalie. The three of them stared back at him blankly. He took the hint.

“Right... I am.” he muttered.

Cody struggled, but managed to get out of the high chair. He adjusted his pants and made his way to the counter as the trio quietly snickered. The camera fades to black.

.[Violence].

Oh Christ.

I know... I know. If I hold the shit title, I have to face shit competition. One thing I don’t want people claiming, however, is that i’m hiding behind it. So that I only face jobbers. That is not the case. I’m holding it for the simple fact that I like the title. If and when I decide to do something else, i’ll drop it like Britney Spears drops husbands.

But to my point... Dirk Phoenix. You sad, sad little man.

You’re so caught up in Brawler’s slump that you’ve hardly thought about being led to slaughter on Halloween. But hey, maybe it helps you deal with ir to not talk about it. If you’re that deathly afraid of the whole matter. Not that I can blame you. I nearly killed Trina. Literally. I was trying. Who would have known the little bitch had a strong spinal cord. Jasmine Lee.. I ruined her career. Hold it...

I know what you’re thinking.

These are women. Right? Riiiight.

And their skill set was equal to yours. Not to mention their set of balls was probably a little bigger than yours. Suave Jonez. Nearly killed him as well... Although that time I was just having fun. Sure, the guy’s a poor excuse for a wrestler. Which is why he’s commissioner. He got on somebody’s good side. Or he knows how to work a zipper. Jason Blade... The dude I beat for the title. He was just sad. He’s fired now. But don’t worry... You’re not gonna lose your job. You put in a lot of effort, i’ll give you that much. Like a kid who keeps getting his ass kicked by the schoolyard bully, but he keeps coming to school every day. Technically, he doesn’t have a choice. Neither do you. You need the money, right? It’s what everyone worries about, and most people base their lives around it. Living without money isn’t that hard. Look at Nick. And Lefty. And Nick’s old rival, Hobo Kyle Snow. They manage. And they’re some of the happiest people I know.

So this poses the question...

Why the fuck do you continue to subject yourself to torture? Maybe it’s a turn on. Who knows. But so long as you keep getting back up, there will always be someone ready and willing to knock you back on your ass. This week, it’s me. However... This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep trying. I’ve noticed that you are slowly getting better. Bit by bit.. You’re learning from those around you. You’re doing good so far, kid. I’m just vaguely sorry that I have to put another loss onto your record.

...Vaguely.

Fin.



»Back

»Senile Bitching
Muhuhahahahaha. Ha.

»Next Match
VS: Dirk Phoenix
Violence

»Those Involved
Dirk Phoenix, Chris Heed, Dylan Dunn

»The Record
»Career
• Wins [25]
• Losses [4]
• Draws [0]

»Defeated [EWO]
Trina
Jasmine Lee
Xyza Johansen
Suave Jonez
Jason Blade
David Jax
Lawrence Jarvis
Andrew Powers

»Lost To
N/A

»Achievements
»EWO
• EWO Gutz and Glory Championship [Current]

»Other
• SFT Stable Cup
• SFT Television Championship
• RWA Womens Championship [x2]
• RWA Tag Team Championship
• RWA Television Championship