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'bill: the muscle'
Scene 1; The Gym. Bill Dynamite walks over to the bench and throws his towel just inches away from the camera sitting low on the floor. Bill adjusts his weights on the bar in New York's newest fashionable gym, E:3. He plans on getting in a work out before he flies out to Orlando for Overload on sunday. A bald headed member of staff walks past Bill in his bright blue E:3 shirt, the light shines off his head and catches Bill's eye. Bill: Hey you... The bald guy turns and looks at Bill Bill: Yeah you, the dildo with ears... Spot me... Bald Guy: You can call me Roy... Bill: I can? Well thanks a lot... that's just great, dildo. Roy: Look, I just work here. I don't have to take this kinda crap from you or anybody for that matter. Bill: That's the catch, dildo, you do. Apart from Monday when I had a scrap with some angry midgets, I haven't had a fight in ages and I'm starting to have withdrawl symptoms so if ya wanna take it outside then you keep vibrating, but I suggest you shut up and SPOT ME!
Scene 2; Ejected Bill stands with 3 security guards and the gym manager in an office. Manager: Mr. Dynamite... I'm aware that you are a professional athelete and you are a successful actor. But you cannot treat staff in our gym like that. Bill: Like what? Manager: (look's amazed that Bill doesn't know that what he does is wrong) You called a staff member 'dildo'... Bill: Hey... I thought it was cute... Ladies love a dildo... right? Manager: Squashing a staff member's head on the bench press is not the kind of behavior we're looking for in E:3. We're a new gym and the owner had doubts over whether you would behave correctly and put you on probation. You haven't behaved sufficiantly so I'm afraid we're gonna have to cancel your membership. Bill: Who's the guy at the top? Who owns this sucka? Manager: Uhm... does it matter who owns this... uhm.. sucka? Bill: Of course it matters... WHO? Tell me or I'll cancel your member! 2 Security guards grab Bill's arms and Dynamite shrugs them off. Bill: Hey! Just coz you a big ass brother doesn't mean you can push me around... Ass. Manager: If you must know, the owner of E:3 is Andy Harmon. Bill: Ah Harmon... Harmon has always had it in for me. I bet he doesn't want me to beat Brawler on Sunday. He doesn't want me to win because he's jealous of my success. Well it aint gonna happen. I know what he's trying to do. He's trying to annoy me. He's got you to wind me up and he thinks I'm gonna go nuts and attack everybody and end up in jail on Sunday. It's all coming to me now. He's hoping I get arrested like I did in dWo so I couldn't make my match. Well I'm not gonna do it this time. Oh no no no. Aint gonna happen. I'm gonna catch my flight tonight, I'm gonna make the match on Overload against the British Bitch, I'm gonna beat British Bitch and go on to Hell & Back to be crowned the World Heavyweight Champion. Yunno, Andy Harmon is gonna have to come up with something a little better than that to get me... He knows I'm gonna beat Brawler. YOU know I'm gonna beat Brawler, right? Manager: Brawler...? Bill: Hey you, secretary... You know I'm gonna beat Brawler on Overload, right? Secretary: British Brawler's gonna beat your ugly ass... Bill: Damn... Who asked you?! Look the fact is, the fans may think he's a great wrestler and all, and I know he's been in some great matches. FWL Elimination Chamber, he looked great in that. dWo Royally Fucked Rumble, he won that sucka. That was a huge match, one of the best I've ever seen and he won the god damn thing after having a slug-fest with Shane Nedik earlier that night. dWo Badd Intentions, Brawler and Johnny Webb went at it for 40 solid minutes, the fight was backstage, in the croud, in the ring... And he came out with his arms held high and the dWo Championship in his hands. X2W Bad Company, he beat Scott Palmer AGAIN and retained the dWo title... I'm not doubting he's been in some great matches but he's never faced anybody like me. He's gonna wish he was back in the Royally Fucked Rumble again. He's gonna wish he never left the Elimination Chamber where he got his ass beat by Poyntz. He's gonna wish he was alone in a cattle shed with Hannibal Lectar on Sunday because I'm gonna tear him up and eat him alive. I'm a monster in the ring like Hannibal, I'm a Psycho like Norman Bates, I'm a knife bearing, scary ass son of a bitch like Kruger. But Brawler's not gonna be dreaming when I rip him up. Kruger aint got nothin' on me, I don't get my victims in their sleep. I get em in the ring. So let me give you a red hot tip... Manager: Don't get your member out on the table... Bill: Not that red hot tip, I mean a tip on the match sunday. Put your money, your house, your car, your wife, your kids and your little cute dog Scruffy on Bill Dynamite being crowned #1 contender! Manager: Well thank you, Mr Dynamite. I'll do that. Good day now. Bill: Good day to you. And you brothers. Guard 1: God damn honky bitch, I aint yo brotha... Bill: Ok... nice knowin ya. Bill walks out of the door with a smile on his face. He's happy he didn't fall for Harmon's alleged plan.
Scene 3; To The Airport Bill is driving to the airport in his hired car and keys a number into his cellphone. He plugs it into the speaker-hands free system and it begins to ring. Female Voice: Good afternoon, Andy Harmon Entertainment. Andy Harmon's office, how can I help? Bill: I need to speak with Andy, please. Secretary: He's in a meeting right now. Can I ask who's calling? Bill: It's Bill... Bill Dynamite Secretary: Oh sorry Mr. Dynamite. I'll put you straight through. Bill: Thank you. Harmon: Hello, Andy Harmon. Bill: Andy... It's Bill Harmon: Oh what a wonderful suprise. Yunno, I was just about to call you. Bill: Yeah, of course you were. Look, I know about your pathetic plan Harmon: Plan? Bill: Yeah... Plan. The plan to get me mad so I'd kick every ass in your gym and get arrested so I couldn't fight Brawler on Overload and couldn't claim what's rightfully mine at Hell & Back. Harmon: What on earth are you talking about? Bill: Come on, Andy. You think I'm gonna fall for a trick like that? A manager at E:3 that talks like Agent Smith, a woman that likes British Brawler... A member of staff that I couldn't possibly resist abusing. Harmon: Uh oh... Who did you abuse? Bill: Verbally... and maybe I hurt his head a little too Harmon: Who? Bill: The guy that looks like a dildo with ears. Harmon: Roy? Bill: Yeah him Harmon: Yeah... He does look like a dildo. Look he's a young guy, a nice guy. Don't pick on him huh. Bill: Well its too late now. You got me banned from E:3. But you thought I'd go nuts and attack everybody like I used to do. But you didn't get me this time. I'm smarter than that. Now I'm gonna catch my flight, make the Overload match with Brawler, win it and then beat your little ass at Hell & Back after I win the title. Harmon: Sorry could you say that again? I was distracted by a fly gettin' stuck in my maple syrup. Bill: I said, you got me banned from... Harmon: Look, I got things to do... Ok Bill? Bill: Don't you hang up on me you... ah damn. Bill turns the phone off and screeches into the airport car park.
Scene 4; Airport. Bill sits with his hand luggage in the departure lounge at JFK. He's waiting for his flight to be announced. There's a hot looking girl sitting next to him wearing the complete secretary ensemble. White blouse, short black skirt, hair up, high heels, small glasses. Bill clocks her long legs and pulls at his collar for ventalation. Bill leans over. Bill: Hi Girl: Hi Bill: Come here often? I'm kiddin', I'm kiddin'. Where ya headin'? Girl: Orlando Bill: Really? That's where I'm headin. Girl: Oh what a coinsidence since we're both sitting in the same departure lounge. Bill: (Not noticing the sarcasm) I know. Wierd huh. You like wrestling? Girl: Not really... Big fat guys in lycra jumping on each other. Not really my thing. Bill: Oh great. Girl: why you ask? Bill: Because I'm a wrestler. Girl: Oh... I'm sorry, I was just kiddin' about the fat guys. Most of em have great bodies. Do you know Czecher? Now that's a body. Bill: Let me tell ya something about Czecher. He was a fat ass mother, but he had surgery for the fat in his ass to be pumped into his pecs and abs. Girl: (laughing in disbelief) That can't be true. Bill: I saw it in a British newspaper. It must be true. Girl: Get outta here. If that's all surgery on Czecher then I must personally congratulate the surgeon. Bill: Listen, I'm wrestling on Sunday. X2W Overload. I can get ya tickets if you'd like to go. Girl: Could I meet Czecher? Bill: Forget about Czecher for one day. You wanna come? Girl: sunday night? Yeah I could come. Bill: Great. Just write your number on this boarding pass and I'll get in touch before Sunday. Girl: Ok. Who are you fighting? Bill: British Brawler. Girl: Oh I've seen him. He's big and beefy. Bill: Listen, most of the meat is in his head. He has to have his name written on his hand so he remember's who he is. He's gonna have some memories after sunday I can tell ya. Some real bad memories that he's gonna wish he could get rid of the type of memories that you pay a guy to sit you on a sofa and make you talk about em, talk about how you don't want them anymore. Talk about how they keep you up at night. That type of memories that stop you from looking at yourself in the mirror. I don't even think he'd recognise his own face after I bust him up on Overload. He's gonna look worse than Klitchko after Lewis got to him. He's gonna look more like the Elephant Man than a wrestler. A freak, a monster. He's gonna be deformed, like he's had a slegehammer rammed into his face over and over again. He's gonna look like I ran his ass down and backed over his face a few times. Czecher knocked him out on Sunday. I'm sure he'll be OK to fight, He was lucky that time but on Overload, his luck is gonna run out. P.A System: Passengers for flight UA2035 to Orlando can now make their way to gate 12 for boarding. Bill: Well here's out flight. I'll talk to ya later. Bill walks off to the gate and hands his boarding pass over to the stewardess. Bill's cellphone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket and answers it. Bill: Yellow... Voice: Hey... It's Czecher Bill: Hey Czechs, I was just talking about you... Czecher: All good I hope Bill: Of course. I was just discussing your physique Czecher: Great. Stewardess: Excuse me Sir, you can't use your cell on the plane, it's gotta be swiched it off. Bill: ... So Czecher, how bout that shovel shot on Brawler? Nice work my man! Czecher: Thank you. I've been working on my swing for a few weeks. Stewardess: Are you even listening to me...? Sir..? Bill: Yeh yeh I'm listenin' lady. So Czecher, you gonna be on Overload? Czecher: Damn right. I'm gonna go get the International title #1 contendership. Stewardess: Sir... The plane cannot take off until you have turned your phone off! Bill: Well i guess you'll just have to wait then. Anyway, Czechs, Brawler must have about 50 stitches in his head after that shot... You are seriously dangerous with a shovel, remind me to have you work on my garden. Czecher: Thank you, Bill. I'd hazard a guess of around 20 stitches for Brawler... If he's got any sense he'd stay in hospital and not bother turning up on Sunday. Bill: Damn right. Look I gotta run Czechs. Some ass wants me to turn my cell off. Czecher: Ok, later. Bill turns the cellphone off and smiles politely at the stewardess as he passes he into the cabin. Bill: I'll have a glass-a-beer. Pronto. The stewardesses look at each other disparingly and start hocking up some spit. Stay Tuned for Part 3.
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