The celebration of Bill’s World Title success, and Czecher’s Guts and Glory win was rudely intruded by Agent Dave Corlione. Bill invited Agent Ray Lawrence and his wife along to dinner with Bill, his girlfriend Emma and the Hespelers minus little Michael. After winning the World Title from Dylan Dunn, Bill wanted to sit down with his closest friend and the man who helped him live through another week (plus their wives/fiancés) and celebrate this memorable moment. To make the night a whole lot more special, Bill’s old best buddy Notoriou$ turned up out the blue and brought his party-boy attitude with him. Notoriou$ turned this quiet celebration into a full-on piss-up! True Brit style. I know Notoriou$ was born in Toronto, but being friends with Bill has helped him embrace the English drinking culture.
The night was brought to a surprising and abrupt end when Agent Dave Corlione took it upon himself to burst in the door of Bill’s living room pointing a gun at the new World Champ. Corlione said that he came to save Bill from what he thought was an intruder, but we all know of his intentions. Corlione made sure the grave shift crew never turned up and persuaded the guards to leave. Corlione is waiting for a moment, a moment to go through with his plan. His accomplice failed in the warehouse last week, but Corlione has adopted the attitude: If you want something done properly, do it yourself. If only anybody knew of Corlione’s intentions, they could stop him and bring him to justice. But Corlione has too many contacts, too many ways to cover the truth, it’ll only be a matter of time before Corlione achieves his goal and erases all evidence that he did it. Corlione is waiting for that moment, waiting for that time… The time to kill Bill.
Today Notes has decided to take Bill out for the day. These two have run amok everywhere they’ve gone. London is still recovering from their frequent nights on the tiles. The cobbled ground of Covent Garden has yet to see it’s former glory after Bill and Notoriou$ hit Bad Bob’s and The Source. But on this occasion, Notes is taking Bill… To… the supermarket!
Bill: The supermarket? What for?
Notes: I’ve seen your fridge Bill, it’s full of shit!
Bill: What? I’ll have you know, I’m on the strictest of diets. In my fridge is nothing but the healthiest variety of foods. I don’t eat ‘shit’ anymore.
Notes: Exactly. It’s full of salad, Bill. Salad. Lettuce, tomato, cucumber…
Bill: Yeah?
Notes: What kind of life is that? Living off rabbit food… It’s like your homeless or something! You’re supposed to be a wrestler, you can afford good food.
Bill: Not if your name’s Lefty!
Notes: What?
Bill: Nevermind.
Notes: Well it’s a simple equation, you’re huge… but you eat kiddy food. It’s time to get a good meal down you.
Bill: Why is it that you never seem to refrain from pissing me off?
Notes: Because you don’t have a clue.
Bill: Look, I beat Dylan Dunn fair and square with nobodies help than my own. I came into EWO as a fat bastard, and I’ve worked very hard to make sure I keep my weight down to a lean and trim size. I’ve done it through the power of hard training and healthy eating.
Notes: You beat Dunn and you beat him good. You beat him twice in fact. But what could have made Bound for Glory any better?
Bill: Nothing. I pinned EWO’s golden boy, AJ Epic’s rent boy, the fans favourite Dylan Dunn, twice. I’m on top of the world, nothing could have made that night any more special.
Notes: Wrong.
Bill: No, I’m not wrong. I’m never wrong.
Notes: You got pinned, Bill. The first time ever, you were pinned in a singles match. Aren’t you pissed with that?
Bill: How can I be pissed? I’m the World Champion and I’m gonna kick Dunn’s arse AGAIN on Sunday. How can it be any better than this?
Notes: Just think, if you had beaten him 2-0... Just think of the plaudits around the world for Bill Dynamite if you had beaten him 2-0 and not been pinned. You never see a 2 out of 3 falls match finish 2-0, you could’ve been the man who destroyed Dylan Dunn… But you didn’t destroy him, you just beat him.
Bill: That’s good enough. Dunn still believes he has a win over me, and AJ Epic is happy to give him that win in that stupid 6-man tag match a few weeks ago. Dunn should get it into his head that Bollinger was pinned, not me. The score between us is 1-0, not 1-1. I never got pinned in that tag match, Dylan Dunn does NOT hold a win over me. But after this Sunday, the score will be 2-0 to Dynamite, and that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter that I lost a fall in that match, I won it overall and that’s all the counts. I’ll be the last man standing this weekend too, and that will be that for Dylan Dunn. His main event career… OVER!
Notes: Yeah well, you’re lucky to even be breathing after last night. What the hell was Corlione doing?
Bill: I don’t know! He just kicked my friggin’ door open and pointed a gun at my head! What a loser!
Notes: If I had enough money for a lawyer, I’d sue his arse for making me shit myself. It’s not every day a man bursts into your living room shaking a gun around the place. Myself and Czecher’s family hadn’t seen that guy before. To us, that guy was just a madman trying to kill you.
Bill: Yeah well thank goodness he isn’t, otherwise, I’d be in trouble!
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In the office, there’s a an atmosphere you could cut with a knife between Agent’s Lawrence and Corlione.
Lawrence: Are you sure you’re ok?
Corlione: Rookie, how many times do I have to tell you… I’m fine.
Lawrence: But you have to admit, you’ve been acting a little strange lately.
Corlione: Strange how?
Lawrence: I don’t know. I mean, you’ve always been kinda quiet but lately you’ve been like a mouse.
Corlione: Well I’m just concentrating on the case, Ray. I’m doing my job and being an efficient Cop. How bout you do the same?
Lawrence: Efficient? You came into Bill’s house the other night waving a gun around like a complete nut!
Corlione: I made a mistake.
Lawrence: A mistake? I thought you were gonna blow his head off!
Corlione: We all make mistakes, Agent Lawrence. You’ll make one one day, you just see.
Lawrence: Well a mistake is filling in some paperwork wrong. Not scaring the hell out of a guy and his friends in his own home.
Corlione: Jesus, Ray. Drop it, it’s done. I did something pretty dumb, and it will not happen again.
Lawrence: Alright, fine. It’s ok.
Corlione: I’ve gotta just go and hand in this report.
Lawrence: What report?
Corlione: The report that says I technically broke into a guys house and pointed a gun at him.
Lawrence: Oh… Shit.
Corlione: Yeah, Dynamite made an official complaint this morning. I got my hands full.
Lawrence: Can’t say you didn’t expect it.
Corlione: Yeah well, I gotta go.
Lawrence: Oh Dave before you go…
Corlione: Yeah?
Lawrence: Are you married?
Corlione: what, are you asking me out?
Lawrence: You’ve never said anything about your family. I was just wondering, if you’re married with kids or what.
Corlione: Uhm… I had a wife…
Lawrence: And?
Corlione: We’re separated.
Lawrence: Oh, ok. What happened?
Corlione: I can’t talk right now, Rookie. I gotta run.
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By now, Bill and Notoriou$ have reached the supermarket. Pushing a trolley around and bickering loudly, they look like the biggest gay couple since Dylan Dunn and Erin Jacobs.
Notes: Look, burgers… you gotta love burgers.
Bill: Yeah I like burgers, but they’re just not healthy.
Notes: If you had this burger down you at Bound for glory, you might just have had the fatty energy to kick out of the pinfall he now has over you.
Bill: Notes, I think it’s safe to say that makes absolutely no sense.
Notes: Bullshit, slim. It makes perfect sense. Burgers contain fat. Fat is a huge energy source. You probably had the energy of cauliflower in you…
Bill: Yeah and I still won, what does that tell you?
Notes: It tells me Dunn isn’t in your league. But that’s not the point. What if you’re facing Erin Jacobs? He is most definitely in your league if not in a better one…
Bill: Hey…
Notes: C’mon, time to face facts, man. If you were facing Erin Jacobs and you were eating lettuce and rice all day, you’d get your fat ass beat!
Bill: I never knew you was this annoying. Maybe it’s best for our friendship if you stay in England and only come over in emergencies… Such as, either of us die… In that case, and in only that case do I wanna see you around again.
Notes: Oh don’t be silly. I know you love me really.
Bill: Yeah sure… I love you.
Notes: That’s the spirit.
Bill: Yeah now we sound like Jacobs and Dunn…
Notes: They love each other?
Bill: Well that I don’t know. Maybe it’s just lust. But they’re on a cruise together.
Notes: A cruise?
Bill: Yeah.
Notes: A gay cruise?
Bill: I don’t know if it’s a gay cruise… I didn’t book the tickets. I think there might be women there.
Notes: Women? You mean the drag act? Don’t be confused by that again, Bill. You know what happened last time.
Bill: yeah. Never again, dude. Never again.
Notes: Look at this… Sausages… now I know you like sausages!
Bill: This is a supermarket, before you even think about getting your dick out as a joke, don’t. This is America, you can’t do that kind of thing. It’s not like England where if you do something like that people just think you’re a little weird and laugh at you trying to figure out what institute you’re from… Here, you’ll just be shot! They’ll think you’re a suicide flasher or something!
Notes: I never even thought about it.
Bill: I saw you reach for your zipper, don’t lie to me!
Notes: Ok I’ve been thinking of it all damn night, it was gonna be my big joke of the day.
Bill: Well it’s not funny. So stop thinking about it.
Notes: Ok. I can’t do it now anyway… You’ve ruined it!
Bill: Good! I’ve never been so glad in my life.
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Agent Lawrence is hard at work as usual. He has decided to pay a visit to the Ballistics department to check out if they’ve found a match or an owner of the gun that shot the man outside the Police Station last week. Whether the gunman was aiming at Bill or not, this man has to be found and Lawrence is hoping they find the gun or the owner of the gun, before they find Bill.
Lawrence: So Geoff, you got a match?
Geoff: Sorry, Ray. We got the results back and the gun is unregistered.
Lawrence: Well I can’t be surprised.
Geoff: We checked it through the system for a match on anyone with a gun like that with a criminal record, they’re either dead or inside. We even ran it through all the cops in the city, nobody has a weapon issued to them like that.
Lawrence: Well anyway, can I take a look at the results?
Geoff: Sure here…
Lawrence: Is it ok if I make a copy?
Geoff: Yeah just don’t be long. Bring it back quick I need to do some paperwork with them.
Lawrence: Thanks Geoff.
Geoff: That’s ok.
Lawrence: Oh Geoff, shame about Corlione and his wife, huh?
Geoff: What are you talking about?
Lawrence: Yunno, being separated and all.
Geoff: Separated? Ray, Corlione’s wife is dead. She was shot six years ago at their house. They never did find the killer.
Lawrence: Oh my god, are you kidding me? Because if you’re shitting me, it’s a real sick thing to do.
Geoff: I’m not kidding. I worked on the case. The weapon was never found.
Lawrence: I can’t believe this. Why wouldn’t he tell me?
Geoff: Well that I don’t know. My name’s not Dave Corlione. I’ve never known what’s going on in that guy’s head.
Lawrence: Well you’re not the only one.
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Back at the supermarket, Bill and Notes have reached the checkout with 2 trolleys full of beer, potato chips and harsh meat.
Bill: This is so not necessary.
Notes: Oh yes it is.
Bill: Do you want me to get fat again or something?
Notes: No, man. I want you to be the old Bill. The Bill that used to go drinking, fall asleep in a ditch, wake up and go straight to the pub!
Bill: Well that Bill is gone. You’re just gonna have to get used to that.
Notes: What’s wrong with a little cholesterol?
Bill: If I eat all this, I’ll kill myself!
Notes: Not if somebody gets there first.
Bill: Oh shut up.
Notes: Well anyway, Bill. I can leave you with this can’t I? I gotta run, I got a date.
Bill: A date? You’ve been in the country 72 hours and you have a date already?
Notes: Yeah, Karen. I met her at the airport at Heathrow. I showed you the picture on my phone didn’t I?
Bill: Oh yeah, I remember… cute.
Notes: Exactly. I can’t miss this one.
Bill: Well go on then, I suppose I’ll pick up the tab on this one.
Notes: Ok, man. See ya later. Wish me luck.
Bill: Good luck… Don’t drink too much. And don’t come back to my place, you’ve booked a hotel remember? I don’t want you dropping by with a girl and a sore head.
Notes: Ok. Later.
Cashier: Ok sir, that’ll be $658.98
Bill: How do you sleep at night?
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Agent Corlione stands in a graveyard, hands on hips. He checks his watch and breaths a sigh of relief as he sees his accomplice arriving. Corlione taps his watch in anger.
Corlione: You’re late.
Accomplice: Well I do apologise, Agent Corlione. I had things to do, people to kill… you know?
Corlione: ha… All in a days work huh?
Accomplice: Right.
Corlione: And the prize for ’stupidest place to meet’ goes to…
Accomplice: Cool it, Dave. You know we can’t be seen together in public. Where did you want us to meet, Starbucks?
Corlione: Ok I get the point. But a graveyard? It’s so… Cliché.
Accomplice: Yeah it’s cliché if this is a wrestling promo, but it’s not, is it? Do I look like the undertaker to you?
Corlione: Even the Undertaker can’t pull of a promo in a graveyard… It’s the sin of all sins. But I’m not here in a god damn graveyard to talk to you about fucking wrestling. I’ve had enough of wrestlers! It’s time that we make sure there’s one less wrestler around. It’s time we kill Bill and it’s time we do it RIGHT!
Accomplice: It’s not my fault you let the rookie drive and he turned up a minute early.
Corlione: Well why couldn’t you just shoot Bill when you had the chance outside the police station? I’ve been working so hard to switch the bullet in ballistics to an old one I had at my house.
Accomplice: You used your own bullet?
Corlione: Chill, it was from an old gun, I haven’t used it for years. It’s unregistered, relax.
Accomplice: What if they find this gun at your house?
Corlione: I don’t have the gun anymore. I threw it away ages ago, it’s laying at the bottom of a river somewhere. And why the hell would they look at my house for a gun?
Accomplice: Well they wouldn’t, until the other night! What was you thinking?
Corlione: I wasn’t thinking. That’s the point. It was an opportunist thing to do. I noticed I could make it so that the graveyard shift guards didn’t show up. I knew that all I had to do was talk to Jack and tell him to beat it… It was all too easy. But how was I supposed to know he had company?
Accomplice: Well you should’ve asked me, Corlione. I would have told you. You have to think more in future, Dave. You screwed up, it better not happen again.
Corlione: it won’t. Tonight is the night, my man. Tell me what’s happening?
Accomplice: Well, I know for a fact that Bill will be alone tonight. His little fuck-buddy, Emma is at her parents house for a few days and his great friend Notoriou$ has booked a hotel.
Corlione: Well I’m glad to hear it. So what, we just go there and bust a cap in him?
Accomplice: Well I thought you could do it.
Corlione: Alone?
Accomplice: Yes, alone.
Corlione: Why?
Accomplice: Just remember who’s boss here, Corlione. I’m the brains of all this. It was all my idea.
Corlione: Well I’m the Fed here, I could put you in that warehouse last week if I wanted to.
Accomplice: Oh really, could you? That’s difficult since I WAS THERE holding a gun to Bill dynamite’s head. We wouldn’t even be here today if you hadn’t screwed up and let Agent Lawrence drive, you would’ve turned up a few minutes late and Bill would be laying on the ground in a pool of blood.
Corlione: Well I’m sorry about that.
Accomplice: Not to mention the fiasco the other night. You screwed up, yet again. So you owe me one.
Corlione: Oh I do, huh?
Accomplice: Yes you do. Just remember, all I have to do is give them the phone conversations we had on tape, and plus the stupid crap you did the other night, and you’d be banged up in jail too. You have nothing that scares me, so I suggest you get your ass together and get over to Bill’s. You go in there, do the business, and I’ll clean up afterwards. Just keep it quiet, I don’t want the cops turning up when I’m carrying a 270 pound black bag to my car. I don’t think they’ll think it’s a bag of fertiliser, Bill’s house doesn’t look like your average farm.
Corlione: Alright. Have it your way.
Accomplice: Oh and Corlione… Bring your head this time, don’t do anything stupid.
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Bill is sitting at home, in the darkness playing EWO Violence on X-Box. He has started a Last Man Standing Match, Bill Dynamite versus Dylan Dunn.
Bill: C’mon Bill… now now… Dammit… No not the snake eyes… Shit… 8...9...10! Ah shitter! That’s the fifth damn time now! Restart game? Yes. Ok here we go, Billy 2 billy… YES! Now go for the figure 4... Ok it’s in… Submit you bastard! SUBMIT!!! Oh I hate rope breaks… I need to turn that option off! C’mon Bill, you can do it… you have him beat… Dynamighty! Dynamighty! Woohooo! 6...7...8...He got up! He got up??! What the hell? I just landed the Dynamighty! Ok, don’t worry, he’s still laying there… Just go to the top rope… EgoMania!! Woohooo 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9...
Corlione: TEN, times up, Bill.
Bill: Corlione, what the hell are you doing here? I thought I told you never to turn up here unannounced again.
Corlione: Well I guess, I’m not much of a stickler for the rules, if you know what I mean.
Bill: What the hell are you doing, Corlione?
Corlione: It’s about time you got what’s coming to you, Bill. Now just sit tight, this will only take a moment.
Bill: Wait a minute… it was you all along?
Corlione: Well yes.
Bill: It can’t be. You wasn’t at the warehouse, you turned up with Agent Lawrence.
Corlione: Well obviously, you can’t do something like this alone, Dynamite. I had an accomplice.
Bill: Who?
Corlione: You don’t need to know, Bill.
Bill: I need to know… Trust me…
Corlione: Well I guess you’ll just have to die an uninformed man, won’t you?
Bill: fuck you, Corlione.
Corlione: No no, Bill. After the shit you’ve given me? After the shit you’ve given everybody? I think I speak for everybody when I say, Fuck you Bill Dynamite. It’s time to die.
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Agent Lawrence is looking through the old case cabinets, searching for Linda Corlione’s file. His eyes light up as he picks up the file and opens it to the evidence section. There are the statistics of the weapon used, he holds it up next to the ballistics report he’s just been handed from Bill’s case, and gasps in shock… the statistics match.
Lawrence: Holy shit. The bullets match. These were fired from the same damn gun. Shit, what does this mean…? C’mon think, Ray. You’re the daddy! Corlione killed his wife? No wait, c’mon Ray think… Don’t jump to conclusions… there’s a simpler explanation. Maybe the same person that killed Corlione’s wife is the same guy that’s after Bill… but that doesn’t make sense. Why didn’t Corlione just tell me she was dead…? Because he didn’t want me to look at her file. He didn’t want me to see the ballistics match. He was throwing me off trail long enough for him to do what he’s been trying to do all along… Oh my god… I’ve got to get to Bill’s house. Bill is in serious trouble!
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Bill tries to make a run for Corlione but he’s stopped in his tracks when a gun is pointed at his face…
Corlione: Oh no, Bill… no you don’t. I got you lined up, you’re all in my sight. It’s over now. It’s so over.
Bill: it ain’t over til’ the fat Bill sings…
Bill springs into action and launches himself forward spearing Corlione through his living room wall, the gun flies into the air and lands a few feet away. Bill crouches over Corlione and pounds a few right hands to Corlione’s head before Corlione kicks him square in the nuts. Corlione head butts Bill and cracks an elbow in his ribs. Bill hit’s the ground with a hard thud, Corlione tries to run and grab the weapon but Bill sticks out a leg and trips Corlione to the floor. Bill drags Corlione back by his trouser leg and lifts him to his feet by his hair. Bill cracks a right hand through Corlione’s chin and throws him through a glass coffee table. Corlione goes through the glass with huge impact, cutting him all over his body. Bill walks slowly to the gun and picks it up. Bill walks over to Corlione and points the gun at a prone Agent Corlione.
Bill: Well, looks like it is the end…
Corlione: Ha… You look like a real idiot with that gun… I bet you don’t even know how to fire one…
Bill: Oh really… Well here’s the proof.
Bill goes to pull the trigger but nothing happens, he looks down at Corlione who has a huge smile on his face. Bill feels a metal object touch his temple… It comes to the realisation that somebody is holding a gun to his head.
Accomplice: Fun’s over, Billy-Boy… Turn the safety off next time.
Bill’s face is a picture of pure horror as he recognises the voice… it’s none other than his best buddy in the whole world… Notoriou$!
Bill: Notes?
Notes: Yep. Well I didn’t really want you to find out, but I suppose Corlione is such a screw up that I have to do it myself. Bill: I can’t believe this…
Notes: Well believe it, Bill. It’s the way it is.
Bill: But why?
Notes: Because, Bill. Because ever since I won the GWC Title, you’ve taken all the spot light away. I wanted to celebrate properly, on my own… But you had to arrange help from Andy Harmon. You didn’t think I could do it all on my own. And even when I was holding the belt in the air, you were getting the limelight by stepping out of that wheelchair. And on my last ever match, you had to show up and lift my hands in the air. I just wanted to be there enjoying the moment in front of the fans, but you had to show up and take the limelight again!
Bill: That’s a pretty shitty reason for killing your best friend.
Notes: You’ve never been my best friend, Bill. I hated you. I just wanted you out of my life. I wanted to go live in England with Nikita, but you have to interfere. You nearly split us up when you confessed to her what we did in Amsterdam… You’re screwing up my life, Bill… But it ends here. Here’s your World title. The world title you beat British Brawler for in a buried alive match, I saved it so that you’d think it was Brawler… I wanted everyone to think Brawler was back with a vengeance. But Brawler’s dead. He disappeared and I don’t have a clue what happened, but we all know he’s dead. But some people are so stupid. It’s so easy to leave a simple red herring and make everyone think it was Brawler…
Bill: You’re a real piece-a-shit!
Notes: Well I suppose that’s true. But so are you. Don’t forget it’s you who everybody hates. You’re the despised one. You had this coming, and I’m just glad I’m the one who has the opportunity to do it. I’m glad you didn’t get killed by a loser like Corlione.
Corlione: What?
Notes: You’re a loser, Dave. You can’t do anything right. I had to come over here and do it myself… Corlione, you’re worthless… Except it. So worthless, that you’re not needed in my plans any longer, I can’t take any risks and let you blab when you get caught. You slipped up too many times, Dave. I can’t take those kind of risks. You’ll get caught, and to save your bacon, you’ll tell them everything… I can’t let that happen.
Corlione: I won’t, I swear!
Notes: Sorry, Dave. You’re first.
Notoriou$ fires the weapon at Corlione and it hits him in the stomach. Corlione hit’s the ground spilling blood on the carpet. Notoriou$ swerves the gun around to face Bill…
Notoriou$: Any last requests?
Lawrence: Yeah, drop the weapon and put your hands in the air!
Notoriou$: Wha?
In the confusion, Bill tackles Notoriou$ to the ground and 2 cops jumps onto the back of him, applying handcuffs to Notes. Lawrence runs over to Corlione and covers his wound with his jacket. He looks into Corlione’s eyes and Corlione looks back desperately.
Cop: Is he alive?
Corlione: Let me die, Rookie. I’m done.
Cop: Is he alive Agent Lawrence?
Corlione: Please, Ray. I don’t want to live. It’s over for me. My life is ruined.
Lawrence: Yeah, he’s alive. Get this man an ambulance so that he can live his worthless life in jail!
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Just minutes later, Bill’s house is filled with cops. The road outside is jammed with cop cars, meat wagons, SWAT vans and TV trucks. Bill sits on his porch holding his EWO World Title close. Agent Ray Lawrence is standing next to him.
Lawrence: It’s over, Bill. You can go back to living your life.
Bill: You know what, after all this… I’m gonna cherish every moment of what I have left. All that remains is that I beat Dylan Dunn once more on Violence and lift this title up in the air! Something is telling me I’m meant to be here. I’m meant to do something. I know I’m here to achieve something great, what it is I don’t know. Maybe it’s to beat Dunn again. Maybe it’s to beat Erin Jacobs. Maybe, it’s to become to most dominant force wrestling has ever seen. On Sunday, I will beat Dylan Dunn yet again and keep my World Heavyweight Championship! On Violence, I will show myself to be great. I will show everybody in the World that I’m the Razzmatazz of Showbiznazz… That I am the Idol. And that I am Bill Dynamite… On Sunday, I will be… THE LAST MAN STANDING!