the shoot one

This is the first edition of The Shoot, but don't think for a second that this is the first time I've spoken frankly about people. Don't be offended by what I have to say, I will not try to be controversial nor will i try to offend. I am here simply to talk straight and cut all of the bullshit that surrounds this topsy tervy, crooked, corrupt and often head-bashingly irritating world of Wrestling. I am about to shoot my verbal load.

Let me start with Lawrence Jarvis. What a surprise you're all thinking. How did I guess he'd start with Jarvis? Well, in fear that I may lose your attention along the way, i thought I'd stick Jarvis right at the top so that it's the first thing you read. Of course, it wouldn't surprise me if it ACTUALLY is the first thing Lawrence Jarvis had read since The Cat In The Hat.

I may be a wanker in every sense of the word, but I'm not going to kid you or anybody else for that matter into thinking that Jarvis isn't a tremendous talent. I'm not going to bash his ability at his peak, I don't know many who could take him when he's on his game. But my issue lies at his ambition. I've seen Jarvis slowly decline since eWo. When we went one on one, he beat me fair and square, I'll admit it, I was awful. The stuff I put on the table was just mindless dribble that wasn't even my own. Jarvis beat my arse even though he himself wasn't on the form he once was. You see Jarvis made the PrimeTime Title what it was, he made it mean something. Many people will know that I am a firm believer that midcard titles are pointless, but when Jarvis fought for that PrimeTime Title, he made it look worth a damn, of course now it's in the hands of David Blazenwing, so it's worth about as much as shit flavoured lollypop.

But back to the point at hand. Since Jarvis beat me, all I've seen him do is languish around the midcard of BWF. Trying desperately to install the class and honour of the Primetime Title. But alas, Jarvis has done hardly anything. We fought again, and luckily for me, I came out on top. Jarvis then went on to beat former BWF World Heavyweight Champion - The Legend. But could he capitalise on this victory? No. I look today and I see Lawrence Jarvis, a former World Champion himself going for midcard titles again. Lawrence Jarvis is getting old, hell he's already old if we're talking about being an athelete. I think it could just be too late for the man I would say is the closest thing I've seen to me since I started this game. But Javis is about to embark on maybe his final surge towards World glory in BWF. Now is the time for Jarvis to show BWF all along what he can bring to the table. If he fails? Maybe it's time he concentrates on All Pro and goes for greatness and bow out on top. Maybe even, one more night with Dynamite. But for now, I wish Jarvis all the best of luck in BWF. I think you need it, mate.

I want to talk about me for a second. I think it's clear I'm not the man I used to be. I know I don't have the passion for the game I had when I won the eWo World Heavyweight Championship. But back then, I was fighting Dylan Dunn. I HAD to beat Dunn, why? Because outside the ring, he was a prick. He sucked up to staff, licking their arses to get where he was. Oh he had talent, but I don't think he had as much as he thought he had. I knew, if I was going to overcome the odds, I had to do something special... And I did. My point? Maybe backstage bullshit is a GOOD thing. I know recently I was banned from BWF for that exact thing. But I believe that if you have respect for someone, like I do for Jarvis, I would try to put out my best stuff in respect for his talent. But facing Dunn, I HAD to put out everything I had to beat him. I worked harder than I ever had done in this oh so trivial "game". So before people go on about Gabe Reno, Seth Dryden and their backstage bullshit running eWo into the ground, just remember that it was backstage bullshit that put eWo where it was in the first place. It was that very thing that had myself and Dunn give everything we had to be the man. Check out the type of stuff I was producing before that match, against Paul Dream and Czecher, i was nowhere near good enough for the World Title, but I sure as hell pulled everything out of my arse for that final. Rivalries and feuds make this game what it is, lets not forget that and suck each others dicks all the time.

Kodak Hespeler was a young man coming into the business with very little experience. In fact, I would go as far as saying he had NO experience at all. He was as green as you could get and he stood out, it was clear he wasn't up to the standard. Then one day, someone upstairs in the dWo staff room saw a flame inside this lad that was waiting to explode. Then that explosion happened, Kodak Hespeler destroyed his mentor, Hell Raiser with a sledgehammer and changed his image totally from a inexperienced rookie to a cold hearted warrior with a horrificly short temper. dWo wanted to take this guy as far as they could, but how can you market a guy called Kodak? He changed his name to represent his home country. They called him Czecher.

I'm a HUGE fan of Czecher. I love his whole style. But Czecher has never made it big despite a couple of midcard titles (not them again). Czecher does not have the ambition to become a great, and instead he deflects the attention onto others - namely Me. Czecher has been in my shadow for years now, taking out my enemies with Captain Shovel. But Czecher needs to branch out and become the leading guy. I know I asked him to be my partner, I believe when he gets into his flow, it will be me who's taking out his enemies with other weapons that make no sense to be in a wrestling show. This is Czecher's chance to shine now in All Pro, and if he doesn't make it this time... He never will. I don't know how the FUCK he didn't win that match but I suppose it doesn't matter because the rematch is next week on Monday Night Wrestling, and I predict some quality stuff from both competitors.

Talking of All Pro Title competitor, the Champion is Pike. I haven't seen anything of Pike before All Pro, and I have to say I'm disturbed slightly by the humour of this person... I can say in my deepest Undertaker voice "i'm not feeling it." So I hope that Pike, once she gets used to All Pro and the guys in it, that this humour will not be so dominant and we'll see something with a little more substance.

That's all I have for this week's The Shoot, but once All Pro starts to get going, I'm sure I'll offend many more people along the way. See you next week.

Bill.

5 Star Awards

Monday Night Wrestling
- Matches****
- Segments*
- Overall***

Promo of the week: Well since i saw it before I completed The Shoot, I'll go with Czecher's Interesting Times Part II. Which I believe is the best Czecher has come out with since I've known him. It rocked the shit and with follow-ups should win him the All Pro Championship.

The Shitfest Award: 'The Idol' Bill Dynamite's 'Mr Sensitive' RP. I had to put SOMETHING out.

back