[ Life happens 10 yards at a time. Yeah that's all fine and good if you play football in the NFL. But the life of someone in sports entertainment is so differnt. When you're a top Super Star such as myself you're on every show, and make up a good portion of it. For that reason and also the booming internet people feel like they know you. They feel it's ok to judge you based upon what they see in a two hour show or the character they've spent their money to see at a house show. What they fall short of realizing is we are real people with real life issues. Sure my problems aren't as big as the average person. Mostly for them their issues deal with money, and I have more than enough of that. Instead my issue deals with privacy or lack of it. I know. I know....boo f'n hoo for Brandi James. She's in the lime light making millions of dollars. She has a beautiful home in goregous South Beach Florida that's over looking the ocean. And to top it all off she's one of the most photographed faces in the world, not to mention her sexy boyfriend. Why feel bad for her? Truth is you shouldn't. I sure as hell don't. I make no excuses for what I have done, and further more I regret none of it. That's right, I've broken up marriages, driven men to sheer sadness when I left them leaving them broken, just a shell of their former self. Made fun of fat people, people in wheel chairs...mainly anyone less fortunate than myself. Which is damn near everyone. And I regret not a damn thing. Over the next week you'll hear alot about me from my opponent, Mr. Cody Carson.

Who once was a friend of mine. Hell it's fair to say he was my best friend. Over the years whenever I felt I couldn't count on anyone, just when I'd feel I was at my lowest Cody would show up. Funny how your best friend turns out to be someone that makes you sick to even look at them. For as much as I loved Carson. I also blame him completely for the person I am at this very moment right now. He'll say that I chose Rick Young over him. How I'm the one to blame for his failed and broken relationship with Carmen Dumas. Infact I'll show you the reason for all this. The thing that lead to the path of all this destruction and bad mouthing. From my book...."Leather and Lace...The rise of a wrestling Goddess."

The Men in my life.

It's not a secret at all. Just ask anyone who has ever known me, and they will tell you that the one thing Brandi James never needed is a man. Why? Ah, that's very simple. Men flock to me, no matter if I want them or not. I never need a man for the simple fact that there is always a man around. It's possibly why part of my reputation is that I'm a slut. In a way it is my fault, but in other ways it isn't. I can't be responsible for men wanting to follow me around. Is it my irrestilble auroa, my oh too cute smile, possibly my to die for eyes? Hell it very well could have been my sparkling personality, but I digress. Out of all the men who have come and have gone from my life there is one who will always have a special place in my heart I hold only for him, he is Cody Carson. Cody Carson is a boy I met in high school. He was just one of those guys who flew under the radar. Cody wasn't the most popular guy in school with the girls, that is boyfriend wise. He was the guy all the girls wanted to be friends with, but never really considered as a potential boyfriend.

We all have known a guy like him in high school if you think back hard enough, I bet a name will pop into your head. For the longest time, unbeknown to me Cody had a major crush on me. I never noticed back then probably because I was too busy with my own stuff. But no matter what I needed he was always there for me. If I needed a shoulder to cry, someone to just vent to or a shopping buddy, I could always count on Cody to be what ever I needed. Looking back now, I see that I did take him for granted. That's something I can't change, but will try to better realize for the future. Although you can't change the past,and fix things that we feel bad for I know that Cody himself would never allow me to feel that way. Actually he thanked me for sort of being unaware of his feelings for me. According to Cody had I acknowledged his feelings for me, he very well may not have become the man he is today.

Carson was a skinny guy, who wasn't really athletic or so he thought. Untill he discovered that he could take a great deal of pain, and liked jumping off of ladders. When you realize that about yourself there are really only two career choices. You either end up being a fireman or a wrestler. And let's face it, when was the last time you saw a group of girls screaming out side of the fire station begging the chief for an autograph. To Cody it was a no brainer, that one day he would entertain the masses by gracing the squared circle. Once I found out that Cody wanted to be a wrestler we instantly formed a tighter bond with each other. It was nice to be able to talk to someone who had similar desires.

Just like I have said whatever I need Cody to be he was. I really couldn't have asked for a better friend than Cody. The girls in school never really understood me or gave me a chance for that matter. Girls are so catty, and narrow minded when it comes to other females. Which is the reason I have always prefered having more male friends then female friends. With a man you never really have to worry about him gossiping about you, or having a knife put in your back. Men just aren't threatned that way like women are. That's what was great about having Cody as my friend. He allowed me to just be Brandi, I never had to act sexy around him. Never had to put on an act of what he thought I should be. It was nice to just be able to put my hair back in a ponytail and wear a baseball shirt, jeans and just relax.

Carson, I just wanted to say Thank You. For being my everything and more. We've been through hell and back...by that I mean we both had been tormented by Shawn Walsh. You were my source of strength, the person that never allowed me to blame myself. I don't know if or how I could ever re-pay you. I love you Cody. Infinite hugs and kisses....Love Always...Brandi.

Ok now pin point the source of trouble, you have ten seconds....Ready go...do, do, do, do, do, do, do...do, do, do....dop...do...ba, duh, bup... Give up? Once Carson read "I love you"...things have never been the same. I had a perfectly happy relationship with a sexy Texas pitcher who I adored. One night Josh and I were pullling into the driveway of my home, and there was Carson. He left Carmen to persue a relationship with me, and just like that not only was my friendship with Josh over. It also began the demise of our friendship.....

That's what I have no now kiddies...the good trash talking is coming soon...So Carson you may begin to trash me now.

Scene Off Camera: [ Sometimes people bug us more than we want them to at times. My agent Stevie Mancini deffinately bugs me atleast four times a day. Today she's batting a thousand, every time she speaks it's like nails on the chalk board to me. I sat in my office behind my oak desk, as she sat rambling on infront of me. ]

Stevie Mancini:"Brandi, you can't fight Cody. He's your best friend. The two of you should just kiss and make up."

Brandi James:"No, Stevie that's just it. Carson wanted to kiss me more than a friend. He felt because of what I wrote and the letter I sent him that he had a chance to have a romantic life with me. He left Carmen to try to make a relationship with me. I could have easily lost Jalie as a friend. Lucky for me she's a smart woman and realized I did nothing wrong. Besides Cody would want me to end my relationship with Rick and I'm not about to do that. He already fucked up my relationship with Josh. I'm not letting him destroy Rick and Me."

[ Stevie set her eyes down towards the floor and took a deep breath. She then leaned forward, and softly said. ]

Stevie Mancini:"I'm sure Cody never meant to hurt you."

Brandi James:"The fuck he didn't. If he didn't want to hurt me, he would have respected my feeling for Josh and just left us alone. No...He had to just..

[ She reached for my hand ]

Stevie Mancini:"Be protective of you, and want the best for you."

Brandi James:"Oh, what the hell is the use in talking to you?"

[ I said with a short breath. I didnt' want to look at Stevie. She was getting me so irrated. She didn't realize the half of it. Lucky for me the phone rang. I answered it quickly to avoid her saying another word.]

Brandi James:"Hello....Yes this is Brandi...Oh hello Dr. Jacobs. Yes I actually did finish my antibiotic. Infact I went for a follow up with your intern yesterday because I'm still feeling a bit flu like.....Umm well I end my last pill tonight. I'll start taking my birth control tomorrow. Uh, why?"

[ Then that's when the Bomb dropped. Every muscle in my body froze. My mind began to race at what my ears had just been told. No this couldn't be.]

Brandi James:"Umm...come again?.......That's impossible...I'm on the....but...Are you sure? It has to be a mistake...Well run it the fuck again."

[ I didn't even give him a chance to respond. I hung up the phone, and snarled.]

Brandi James:"Stevie, find me another doctor."

Stevie Mancini:"Why? Brandi, you've been going to him for over ten years."

Brandi James:"Because that quack just told me that I'm pregnant."

[ Now exactly who was more shocked Stevie or myself was hard to say. The one thing I deffinately could say was she was alot more happy about the Baby Bomb I just dropped than I was. She ran over to me and threw her arms around me hugging me to congratulate me.]

Stevie Mancini:"Brandi that is so awesome..Rick is going..."

[ I stopped her right there.]

Brandi James:"Rick is going to do nothing...because I'm not going to tell him."

Stevie Mancini:"Why not?"

Brandi James:"Because that quack has to be wrong. And besides Rick will just think I'm trying to trap him or something. He's not crazy about kids, and I doubt he wants to be a daddy."

Stevie Mancini:"Well maybe not with Tiffany...but I'm sure he would with you. And just for the record the doctor's office test are very accurate. So..."

Brandi James:"I don't care! Go get me another test from pharmacy."

Stevie Mancini:"But the doctor's office test said..that you were."

Brandi James:"Just Go...Now..."

Stevie Mancini:"Fine...but it will just say the same thing. That by the spring we'll have a little Rick running around."

[ I glared at her, as she grabbed her purse then walked out the door. I couldn't be pregnant. Rick and I never really talked about kids. Hell we never really talked much about marriage. Considering he's still married to Tiffany and his divorce isn't final yet. I looked out the window of my office at my driveway as I watched Stevie get into her car and drive off. Soon she would be back and I could prove the test at the doctor's office was not accurate.]

On Camera:

[ Stevie was back faster then I had thought she would be. I didn't give her a chance to say a word. Instead I grabbed the bag from her and ran up the stair to my bathroom that was just off the master suite of my bedroom. I ripped the first response box open and read the directions. How disgusting it was the white stick you had to pee on. I mean really now there had to be a better way, but if there was I didn't have the time for it. I wouldn't have rested easy tonight unless I could get a negative reading from this thing. I did just as the directions read, and placed the stick down on the sink. I sat on the tub with my hands around my knees feeling so anxious but in a very bad way. I looked up at the white stick and then at my watch. It was time to see the results..that was the longest fifteen minutes of my life. I slowly picked up the white stick that had been mocking me. All the sudden I felt my face turn flush, and I gasp at what I saw. I was going to be a mommy. I had to think that maybe it was an old test. That both the doctor's test and store bought were wrong. As I played with a bunch of differnt scenerio's in my head I heard a knock at the door.]

Brandi James:"Go away!"

[ There was a pause as whoever was on the other side of the door didn't answer right away. ]

Rick Young: "Is everything alright in there?"

[ I hesitated then quickly tossed that evil stick into the bucket, and tied the bag up. ]

Brandi James: "Rick?...um baby is that you?"

Rick Young: "Yeah...who else would it be?"

[ He said a little bit more sarcastically than normal. I nervously laughed clutching the bag in my hand and holding down. I opened the door and some what put the bathroom trash behind my back. ]

Brandi James:" No one...Stevie was just here and .....I umm didn't think you'd be home so soon baby.....is all."

Rick Young: "Ah...well I didn't see her when I came in, but she could be here somewhere if she was."

[ Rick said, and then smiled slightly. He put his hands in to his blue jeans' pockets and then slightly turned away from me. ]

Rick Young: "I decided to make today's work out a short one so I could spend so more time with you, but right now I think I will let you dispose of your used tampons..."

[ Rick said as his smile turned in to a smirk. ]

Brandi James:"It's just bathroom trash Rick....and there are no tampons in it..."

Rick Young: "Then why you hiding it? I know I don't like seeing your tampons...so if there isn't any in there? Why hide it behind your back?"

[ Rick asked very curious as to why I was hiding the trash behind my back. ]

Brandi James: "Ummm cuz it's trash?"

[ I had to be more confident...So I walked past him, and towards the door.]

Brandi James: "what you exspect me to carry it like a trophy. It's just filled with toilet paper rolls, band-aids, your old razor...and just gross sick stuff..."

Rick Young: "Whatever...it's no big deal...I'm just curious, because it just odd to me."

Brandi James:"God, you act like you've never seen any take trash out before or something."

[ I rolled my eyes, and began to walk to the barrels outside. ]

Rick Young: "It's not that I haven't seen anyone take trash out before...hell I taken trash out plenty of times, but I've never hid it behind my back unless there was something in there I didn't want anyone to see...and well other than tampons what would be in there that you wouldn't want me to see?"

[ He said, which he must have not been thinking too much about what could be in the trash bag that I wouldn't want him to see, because there are two things I can think of that could be here that I wouldn't want him to see. ]

Brandi James: "You're way to paranoid Rick....be right back."

[ I smiled and walked out side then put the bag into the barrel. I came in with Rick stilll starring at me the whole. As he watched me as I walked over to the sink to wash my hands.]

Rick Young: "How am I paranoid over saying that there are tampons in the trash bag you just took out?"

[ He said as he started to walk over to the sink to stand next me. ]

Rick Young: "If I was paranoid wouldn't I have found something different and perhaps better to be paranoid about?"

Brandi James: "I guess..."

[ I soaped up my hands then rised them. And dried them on my monogramed towels.]

Brandi James: "I don't even know what all the big discussion is over the stupid trash anyway."

Rick Young: "I don't know either...but can't really call it stupid trash, because probably somewhere out there...there is a sick fuck that would love to have our trash, because of the whole "one man's garbage is another man's treasure." saying."

Brandi James: "Not this trash.... that would have to be one sick son of a bitch...."

[ I said a bit under my breath. I couldn't tell if Rick actually heard me or not, but he looked at me for a moment with out saying anything. ]

Rick Young: "So what did Stevie want?"

Brandi James: "Just being a pain in my ass begging me not to fight Carson...Especially since the deck is so stacked against me with Mike being the guest ref."

Rick Young: "I see...well I don't think Mike will be in too much of a shape to really do anything to you after what we put him through a week ago...besides nine out of ten he is only tagged on to the match to try and prevent me from doing what I did this week again to Carson...and prevent something like what I did to Adonis too. Not only that I think Mike would rather get a piece of Carson than you...he knows he can't be you or me and well Carson has a title that use to belong to Mike."

[ I knew Rick was talking but all I was doing was nodding my head. Frankly it sounded all to charlie brow-ish to me. I sighed, then looked around the room.]

Rick Young: "You know babe if there is something bothering you...you should talk to me about it, because maybe just maybe I can help."

[ Rick said as he put his hands onto my shoulders. ]

Brandi James:" Nope. I'm fine....nothing is wrong....Nada..zip...zilch....Everything is Aces..really...just peachy."

Rick Young: "Okay if you say so."

[ He said before giving me a quick kiss on the forehead. He took his hands off my shoulders and then walked over to the fridge and started to dig through it for some thing. After just a moment of searching he must of found what he was looking for as he shut the door. Rick kept his back to me, but I could hear some kind of wrapper being opened. ]

Brandi James:"Whatcha got baby?"

Rick Young: "Nothing..."

[ Rick said as the russeling of the wrapper quit before he turned around to face me, but whatever he pulled from the fridge he was holding behind his back and after a minute of looking at me he tried to open it again, but while it was behind his back. ]

Brandi James:"whatever...be all weird like that."

[ I said as I walked out of the room and up the stairs to go to my bedroom. It didn't take Rick long to follow me up the stairs to the bed room holding in front of him what he was hiding. Which was nothing more than a king sized Three Musketeer candy bar. Which he finally managed to get opened as he walked in to the room. ]

Rick Young: "Sorry you got to hide something...even though it was trash , I thought I would hide something...which I have actually been hiding in the fridge for a couple days now, because I didn't want to share it..."

[ I said a bit annoyed by him referring to the trash again. I opened my top draw and took out a tank top and comfortable short to sleep in. Trying to keep my mind a bit busy.]

Rick Young: "It was meant as a joke..."

[ He said as he took a bit out of his frozen like candy bar. ]

Brandi James:"Well...it's...."

[ I turned and saw Rick nibbling on his candy bar,and as I tried to speak I felt sick to my stomach. Watching him eat the candy and the smell of it really made me nauseous. I covered my mouth and ran to my bathroom.]

Brandi James:" Excuse me...."

[ Rick of course didn't stay in the bed room very long as he came and stood by the bath room door holding his candy bar in his hand. ]

Rick Young: "You alright sweet heart?"

Brandi James:"Fine...just peachy.....blah....eh, eh...eh.."

[ Gosh I hope that was convincing. I barely ate all day and couldn't understand why I was getting sick like this. And here I thought mourning sickness only happened in the morning. I guess I have alot more to learn about being pregnant than I thought.]

Rick Young: "You sure about that? Because you don't sound peachy..."

[ I finaly stopped and stood up a bit dizzy. I splashed some water on my face then brushes my teeth and took a swig of scope and swished it around in my mouth. I walked out of the bathroom then sat on the bed and kicked my shoes off. ]

Brandi James:" Yeah....just ate something bad I guess."

[ Rick came and sat down next to me on the bed and I half expected to see him holding the candy in his hands, but both of them were empty. I don't know where the candy bar went, but it was gone and I am some what glad for that. ]

Rick Young: "Must have been something real bad."

Brandi James: " I don't want to think about that...I just want to be with you right now."

Rick Young: "Okay no more talking about that...just me and you."

[ He said, before he moved up a little bit on the bed and got behind me. He placed his hands on my shoulders again, but this time started to rub them gently. ]

Brandi James:"That feels good baby...but you don't need to do that. Infact you can walk off that candy bar you ate and go and get a condom from the top draw."

[ Rick stopped rubbing my shoulders and then looked at me for moment before he got off the bed and headed for to the dresser and pulls out the top drawer, but before he grabs a condom from it he turns back to look at me. ]

Rick Young: "Why do I need one of these?"

Brandi James: "Well, I just thought maybe we should..."

[ Rick just stood there for a moment and he got this weird look on his face. I say weird, because it looks as if he is pissed off, but at the same time not pissed off. I don't know if that is actually possible, but somehow that is how Rick looks like right now. ]

Rick Young: "Sweet heart I have no problem with wearing a condom, but you have to answer me this...is this because of your little "guest" the other week?"

[ Rick's tone started off soft when he was talking about the condom, but it got harder when he brought up Damien. ]

[ I said quickly and very defensive.]

Brandi James:"Why would you even think that? Forgive me if I just want to make sure nothing bad happens."

[ I stopped myself before saying anymore. What an idiot I am. "before nothing bad happens." I suppose that was just me being foolish hoping the doctor's test and the pharmacy test were wrong. Rick just stared at me for a moment then took a step away from the dresser back towards me with out a condem in his hand. He placed both his hands on his hips and then bit his top lip slightly before... ]

Rick Young: "Why would I think that? Jesus I don't Brandi a couple of weeks ago in Los Angeles you tell me I don't have to wear one of those things if I don't want to and then all the sudden after that guy shows up you want me to wear them again? Now tell me what I am suppose think Brandi!"

[ got up off the bed then walked over to him. Without realizing I was placing my hands on my stomach, and some what touching it. ]

Brandi James:"I know...I know....I'm sorry...You're right I did say that to you. It's stupid of me to ask you to use one. Especially since you've gotten so use to not using one."

Rick Young: "Look Brandi...I enjoy not using one more than using one, but I don't mind using one...I just want you to be honest and tell me if this has to do with that guy or not. That's all I am asking."

[ I don't know what came over me. My eyes filled with tears, and I immediately started kissing Rick and put my arms around his neck. God damn hormones. ]

Brandi James;" I love you Rick....It has nothing to do with Damien at all. Infact if you watched that further. You would have seen me push him away, and tell him to leave before you go psycho on him, and me slamming the door in his face."

[ Rick wrapped his arms around me and hold me close to him. ]

Rick Young: "I love you too, but I only saw what Shane showed me of what happened."

Brandi James: "I know..but baby you have to trust me. I wouldn't do anything to mess up our family."

[ Rick looked at me for a moment caught off guard by what I said it seems. ]

Rick Young: "Family? Sweet heart it's just you and me."

[ I shifted my eyes a bit then ran my hand through his hair.]

Brandi James:"Right...we're a family...I guess....ummmm..."

[ I didn't know what to do. So I did what always seems to work to get me out of tight situations. I began to undressed and run my nails over Rick's back as I passionately kissed him.]

Brandi James: "baby, I don't want to talk about the trash, your stupid candy or some guy that is part of my past. You're my future, and all I want is to make love to my man the way he should be made love to"

Rick Young: "Well I see no problems with that."

[ He said with a smirk before he kissed me on the lips and lifted me up off my feet and started to carry me over to the bed. It's really too bad that Carson can't realize that Rick makes me happy. That Rick and I actually have found love. I suppose the old saying is true, jelousy does ugly things to people. ]