[It was once said “keep your friends close, and your enemy’s closer.” The trouble for me is this. I’m not exactly sure which Cody Carson falls into. Is he a close friend or a new enemy of mine? It’s a question that I have examined closely. Just what was my conclusion? He’s both; Cody Carson is a frien-emy. It’s really too bad that’s the word I’m choosing that word to define my relationship with him. Unfortunately that is what we are now reduced to.

As for right here and now I can’t allow that to bother me. I have way too much going on in my head to think about Carson right now. True he should be my number one priority, but there is one thing that is more important right now. The fact that I’m pregnant having Rick’s child. Well at least for now I am. Go ahead and begin to stand in judgment of me. Go ahead and start standing on your soap boxes. Alert the fucking press while you’re at it. I can just see the headline now “Brandi James contemplating abortion.” Shocking isn’t it? I can’t help but think about it though. Rick is not divorced yet, our relationship is just really beginning. This is supposed to be the time that is just for us, and here we’ve been so careless.

I’m surrounded by people that are supposed to love me. My agent Stevie Mancini, whom I’m sure, loves me because of all the money I make her. Jalie Thomas, my dearest friend, and closet friend. Whom I’m not really sure exactly why she loves me. Before if you asked me Cody Carson would have had a seat at this table in my time of need. If you would have told me that we would have come to this I would have told you that you were fucking crazy. I guess it’s just more proof that no matter whom you think you can trust people change. Not that I needed further proof of that fact.

Stevie sits at the table and pours coffee for herself and Jalie. I slide her cup but she immediately pushes it away and shakes her head. ]

Stevie Mancini: ”Yeah I don’t think you’ll be drinking coffee for the next nine month mommy.”

[ I glared at her and took a deep breath. Jalie then poured me a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice.]

Jalie Thomas: “So I think that we need to start thinking about exactly how close you need to buy a home to me.”

[ She stated as if I had no choice but to buy a home as close to her as possible. Oh who am I kidding this is Jalie. Of course I didn’t have a choice in the matter.]

Brandi James: “Jalie, I’m not selling my home in Miami.”

Jalie Thomas: “I think it’s for the best. After all I don’t think it’s good if my godchild grows up without me being close to her.”

[ Now you may think Jalie is kidding, trust me she’s not. Jalie meant every word of what she said. I looked a bit un-amused at her.]

Brandi James: “And who says the baby is going to be a girl?”

[ Jalie leaned over and put her hand on my stomach then nodded her head.]

Jalie Thomas: “The baby is going to be a girl, and she said that she wants her auntie Jalie to be her Godmother.”

Stevie Mancini: “No you’re wrong Jalie. She wants her auntie Stevie to be her Godmother.”

Jalie Thomas: “Go blow more air into your inflated tits Blondie.”

Stevie Mancini: “Sure right after you go by another bottle of booze to drink your way to the bottom of lush.”

[ Is it just me or have these women gone nuts? Hell they’re more excited about this baby than I am, and I’m carrying it.]

Brandi James: “Don’t you think Rick gets a say in which one of you the baby’s Godmother is going to be.”

[ I received a loud “no” by both of them at the same time.]

Brandi James: “Oh well my bad. I just thought he would want a say about that…….If I even end up having this kid.”

[ Even though I thought I said it low enough under my breath I apparently did not. Especially since my comment was met with a quick hard smack to my shoulder; delivered by Jalie.]

Jalie Thomas: “Have you lost your god damn mind?”

Brandi James: “No…but I’m just trying to be realistic here J.”

Jalie Thomas: “I can’t even believe that you’re considering this.”

Stevie Mancini; “Brandi, a baby is a gift from God. You can’t just abort it like it’s nothing.”

Brandi James: “Stevie, you’re beginning to sound like Skylar Black. Don’t give me a baby is a gift God bullshit.”

Stevie Mancini: “It’s true though. I mean c’mon on how cute is this kid going to be?”

Jalie Thomas: “Well if she looks like Brandi then beautiful. If she looks like Rick I’ll have to give her some plastic surgery gift cards for her 18th birthday?”

[ Jalie exclaimed with a smug grin on her face.]

Brandi James: “Plastic surgery gift cards J?”

Jalie Thomas: “Only if she looks like Rick.”

Brandi James;” Do they even have plastic surgery gift cards?”

Jalie Thomas: “I don’t know…”

[ She turned her head and looked at Stevie.]

Jalie Thomas: “Stevie is that something they have?”

Stevie Mancini; “How would I know?”

Jalie Thomas: “Oh I forgot your chest is all natural.”

[ She said as she rolled her eyes. I just tried to remain quiet with my thoughts. ]

Jalie Thomas: “Earth to Brandi….”

Brandi James: “What?...hunh?:

Stevie Mancini: “Is there something that I can get you?”

Brandi James: “No…”

Jalie Thomas: “Will you just end the thought of even aborting my Godchild. Face it…I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen. By the time I’m done no doctor in the United States, Europe or Mexico will perform the procedure when I’m done.”

[ Jalie said as she glared at me. Sad part was I knew that she wasn’t kidding, and would do exactly what she said.]

Brandi James: “This couldn’t have happened at a worse time.”

Jalie Thomas: “Tell me what a better time would be? Brandi if Rick raped you or you were going to die from giving birth then I would be the person to drive you if you chose to abort the baby. But he didn’t rape you, and you’re not going to die. You know that even if a baby is planned something always comes up. Life is perfect. At the risk of sounding like a bumper sticker shit happens. You above anyone else know better than that.”

Brandi James: “I know that. What is Rick going to think?”

Jalie Thomas: “Who the fuck cares? If he’s so gutless that he leaves you then move in with me. Seth and I will help you out. Seth will be a great father figure for the baby. A hell of a lot better one than Rick.”

Brandi James: “Yeah, he’ll teach the baby how to set fires.”

[ Nearly spitting out the sip of coffee she had just taken. Jalie wiped her mouth and pointed at me.]

Jalie Thomas: “That hasn’t been proven yet. No one knows how that fire got started.”

Brandi James:” I know….”

[My shoulders sunk a bit as I sighed.]

Brandi James: “I’m sorry Jalie. It’s just..”

Jalie Thomas: “It’s just nothing. Brandi it’s ok to be scared. Having a baby is a huge deal. Just like picking out a God mother.”

[ She covered her luscious full lips and coughed as she said the word godmother. Then looked at me, and grabbed my shirt.]

Jalie Thomas: “I want to go baby shopping! Listen I’ve had to endure shopping with you for smutty things to wear for Rick. Don’t take this joy away from me.”

Brandi James: “Jesus Christ Jalie.”

Stevie Mancini: “Seriously Jalie chill out.”

Brandi James: “No it’s fine….”

[Slowly I removed her hand, and put my left hand over my stomach.]

Jalie Thomas: “Feel the flatness of your stomach now girl. In a few short months it will be popping out. You’ll have swollen feet, stretch marks, morning sickness…ah the joys of being a mommy.”

Stevie Mancini: “Don’t’ listen to her Brandi. You can avoid the stretch marks by rubbing coco butter on your stomach.”

Brandi James: “Thanks Steve’s I know.”

[ I said sulking my head a bit. Jalie stood next and softened her tone.]

Jalie Thomas: “This is really hard for you isn’t it?”

Brandi James: “Yes…”

[ No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t hold back the tears.]

Brandi James: “For the first time in my life I’m really scared.”

Jalie Thomas: “I know Brandi…I’m here for you.”

[ Jalie said as she hugged me while I sobbed on her shoulder.]

Brandi James: “Everything is supposed to be platinum right now in my life. I should be happy about having a baby. Shouldn’t I?”

Jalie Thomas:” No one says that you can’t. But Brandi you have to tell Rick. He has to know even if I’m not fond of the thought of him being the father. He does have the right to know. Then if he stays or goes is his choice. Just promise me that you will not abort the baby..ok?”

Brandi James: “Yes…I promise.”

Jalie Thomas: “Good…Now let’s go baby shopping.”

Stevie Mancini: “Awesome…”

Jalie Thomas: “Not you gadget. You’re job is to take phones and make doctors appoints for Brandi.”

Brandi James: “that’s Jalie’s way of saying she only wants it to be us. Just do some follow ups Steve’s.”

Stevie Mancini:” Will do..”

Brandi James: “Thanks:”

[ Stevie sat flipped up her lap top that was in front of her and sulked as Jalie and I began to walk out the door.]

Brandi James: “You better not buy me a shit load of pink stuff?”

Jalie Thomas: “Don’t worry hot topic has tons of cute stuff for babies. My godchild is going to have a punk streak in her.”

Brandi James: “Or him…”

[ I said as I started to feel more up beat about it as I shut the door and the scene fades.]

The Match:

So you’re challenging me to look in the mirror eh Carson? It’s too bad that I’ve already beaten you to that punch. Incase you don’t remember I took a long hard look into the mirror when Rick went to access the damage to his home in Ragely. I stared at myself for a good long while in that mirror. Even broke the damn bitch into pieces cutting my wrist from the shards of glass that flew as I hit it. Know what I saw in that mirror? I saw a woman who has always gone after what she wants. A woman that never has made an apology for what she has done and will never. I’m not sorry for leaving Lane the way I did. I’m not sorry for busting up Damien’s marriage to Lisa. Both Lane and Damien each served their purpose for me. And you’re right Carson when I was done with them I disposed of them. I have absolutely NO regrets in doing what I did.

I’ve made peace with my actions hell I even have my reasons for them. Not ever action of mine did I discuss with you. I have a great life. I’ve never wanted anyone to feel bad for me so I’m not exactly sure where the hell you’re getting that from. Sure I’ve had my down points in life, but we all have. I’ve never asked or wanted sympathy from anyone at all. That’s just you being tough talking out your fucking ass because you have no idea what the hell to say.

You figured that if you go after Rick and say how he’ll cheat on me with some bimbo from a bar that it’s going to get under my skin. You guessed wrong asshole. Pussy is pussy I believe is what you said. Well of course you would that because you’ve never fucked me. It’s something you’ve always wanted Carson don’t deny it. But to make lame ass statements that pussy is pussy just shows your lack of intelligence. My bed room skills are no joke. As chingy and snoop would say “I have the bomb ass pussy.” No man has ever cheated on me EVER. Not even when Lane knew I was screwing sparks and not having sex with him did he cheat on me. Why do you ask? Oh I’m so glad you asked that Carson. Because he knew once he did cheat, and if I ever decided to come back to him and found out he wouldn’t be fucking me anymore. That’s how good I am. No need for sex books, porn tapes or what not. You want to know how to really fuck just ask me. In and out of the ring I’m nothing short of spectacular. I am a Goddess in every, and I do mean every sense of the word.

Although I believe the word you chose to use is “puppet master”. Sure Rick has an attitude and its gotten worse since me. As much as I like to take the credit for it I must decline. Rick has always had that in him. That will to have sheer power and control. The wanting to be not good but great I just brought it out more. The only strings I’ve ever pulled were…well I’m not going to tell you that…Let’s just say when it comes to you…”pluck baby…pluck.”

You wanted to go make this crude and nasty. Which let’s me know that I indeed hit a nerve in you. By calling you out and saying how you longed for me. How your lust for me busted up you and Carmen. You can go telling yourself all you want that I didn’t do it. That is was a long time coming but to quote you old friend…”bullshit” had you not read my letter you would be married to Carmen by now. You know it’s true so don’t bother to even deny it. Truth is we can go back forth about this all day. We can run circles around the fact you worshipped me, and I broke your heart. That you were nothing but a little pip squeak of a boy that never stood a chance with a woman like me in a million years it’s true Cody. Everything you are today the man you are today is all because of me…Yes that is what I take full credit for. Dare I say…Pluck?” If I’m the puppet master of anyone it’s you!

So here we both are you with your big talk about how you never have been pinned. How you only tapped out once and your other losses came as dq. Oh the record of the mighty World Champion. Excuse me while I laugh at you and your joke of a title. Gees Louise what do I mean by that? Let’s just say that you defeat Mike Young. Forgive me while I’m not impressed by that. It’s awful cozy Carson that you won a title from a man who’s contract was about to expirer and he wasn’t sure of his future with AWA. Face it you were handed that title. That match was a joke. You my dear as a Champion are a fucking joke. Wait…Should I take that back? Oh fuck no… You think you’re so great Cody? Hmmmmm?

When I was World Champion in Strike Towers I defended my title weekly. I just didn’t defend it at Pay Per Views. And I just didn’t pick and choose when I wanted to show up. As a Champion you were suppose to lead this place. Take AWA to a higher ground and carry the fed. Look at you chasing anything that walks around. You barely can carry yourself never mind a title of a company. But yet you’re so quick to babble about Rick not accomplishing too much. I wouldn’t boast Carson. Atleast when Rick accomplishes shit it’s legit, or as legit as can be. If he wanted the title he’d want a real fight not a staged fight. I full can’t blame you though for it. I also blame Mike for the sham this company was forced to swallow. Mike should have done the honorable thing and made his attentions of not coming back known. He should have vacated the title and let the top competition battle it out. Then and only then if you won would have won clean. Your victory was staged. Maybe not by you but by Mike Young who knew he wasn’t coming back. How does it feel to know he allowed you to win? That Mike didn’t give you his full all. That you were slated to win that title that you’re bragging about. Now just exactly how much water does your bragging rights hold.

I’ve defeated the best competition as World Champion of RWA and SFT. I’ve defeated the great Damien Sparks when no one gave me a chance in hell. Cody hunny you are NO Damien Sparks. I’m going to take great pleasure in being the first people to get a 1...2…3…over you. Don’t brag about not being pinned Carson. You’ve never faced me. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my former lackey get a pin on me. Even though the enjoyment it would bring you would be massive. I’m not in that given of a mood. Not lately when it comes to you. Your little non pinned run is over Cody. But buck up little camper it could be worse. You could have been pinned by Adonis like Jimmy was. Who knows maybe that’s the next thing to come for you in your bright future. You sicken me...no you disgusted me the way you think that I won't beat you. Well..Play time is over! Let's break down the differnces between us.

You know something Cody? It’s so funny how you think you're so bad ass now and, I won’t know what to expect from you. Does it really matter to someone like me? Someone who has seen it all. Technically Carson, you think your a sound fighter. Technically, you've think you got it all figured out -- every move, every reversal, every step of the way. Technically, ... you're bullshit, always have and always will be. You're fooling yourself if you think a technical move makes you a technician and you're miles away from realizing the true meaning of hand-to-hand combat. I know -- I spent years honing some of my own abilities. I know what it's like to fight when it means something. Something more than a strap of gold. Something more than a complementary plate of buffalo wings. I know what it's like to fight when it means a life. And it something that, believe it or not, Carson, you lack, and I possess.

Another thing you lack Carson. The animal instinct. There's one kind of fighting that comes from meticulous overanalyzation, from studying match after match and becoming the technical warlord through basic learning. That kind of fighting is reserved for battleships and Mensa chess tournaments.

But there's a second kind of fighting. One that, believe it or not, is on a higher plane. At least, it's more truly effective. And that's the battle that comes from the heart, the instinct, the rage. When I step into the ring, I don't think at all. Maybe to you, that makes it a dinosaur mentality. But to me, a t-rex could tear the torso off a scientist any day.

I don't think all the time, to much thinking can hurt. I listen. To the shady fury of the heart. The animal instinct. Telling me where to strike and when. No notes or outlines, just pure, unadulterated, raw force. If I'd spent my life watching the best and taking notes and writing books, I'd be a dead woman and not a former champion. Overthinking, overanalyzing ... has no place when you've got but a split second to make a reaction that will decide whether or not you live to see the next day of your sorry life. I learned to fight and win without a single conscious thought, like a second nature. And that, Carson, is what you do not possess. That is why you having the diamonds and gold hanging over your shoulder is so laughable. That is why I am, and always will be, on top of the world and have the confidence of the wrestling world.

But you? You're scribbling comments like it'll do a lick of good. Hoping, just hoping, that you'll remember some key piece of data that you could insert into your wrestling to bring about a victory. Mind always rolling, filled to the brink with useless facts. You lack the needed mentality. You lack the instinct. The basic, raw, inborn intellect. And you're trying to make up for it with a pen and paper. You can claim to know my moves mannerisms. Yeah right. Your sad, so, so pathetic.

You have been in an out an already, I’m bore to death of you. Maybe I should have a delivery company, hand deliver this to you personally. That way, you won’t have to wait until everyone sees the promo, and you could respond to it at a decent hour. Rarely can you finish a promo and have it delivered to the AWA office ahead of mine. Your lack of creativity makes you wait so you will have SOMETHING to respond to.Who knows on Saturday, maybe you’lll trip over your stomach in the waning minutes and pull something. However, there will be no victory party for you Carson. No washing down your Class B substances with expensive champagne in the winning locker room Saturday night. It’ll be the some ole Cody Carson and same Brandi James with the same result as all my matches are. That would be me beating your ass. Get use to it, life as you know it has resumed.