Jimmy Stryker

Rhiannon James

[ When life hands you a lemon you make lemonade. Mr. James being in charge of AWA is one of the best things that can happen. Hell, I’m doing double duty this week. First, I get to mess with Rick Young and make sure he beats the whole fuck out of his precious ex wife Tiffany. Not that it would be much of a stretch for him. He is a rapist and woman beater. He did it to Trinity’s mother among many other women. You know trinity is very lucky that Rick isn’t her father. I can’t say the same for his new unborn child though. The only plus side for that kid is that Brandi James is its mother. Hopefully if the kid is lucky he or she will be blessed with Brandi’s good looks and smarts. Actually if the kid is lucky, the only thing it will have in common with its father is the last name. Wow, I’m getting off track now. Back to the matter at hand on this weeks Adrenaline for the first time in a long time I have a worthy opponent. None of this stupid shit that upper management has subjected me to in the past. I will not be fighting a kid who is very light in his shoes or some god-forsaken piece of cardboard.

this week I get to go one on one with Simon Sensation. The one time most hated man in all of AWA. Some small part of me even admires him for that. I have to say the guy has balls to buck authority. It is a shame that I’m going to have to put an end to his glorious return. Oh well he can look at it as character building. But for now enjoy your first look at the re-tooled Jimmy Stryker Show.]

[ The scene pans around a room with bright lights and a desk in the center. It then focuses on a couch with chairs on either side of it. The camera then swings around to see an audience cheering. The set is decorated with glass panes and through the pains you can see a bridge with purple lights illuminating it. The camera then spins around to see an entrance to the room. A voice pipes up. ]

Voice:" Ladies and gentleman... Welcome to a new form of entertainment. A new and improved way of watching television. Welcome to.... THE Jimmy Styker SHOW!!! Brought to you by your friends at "Revolution TV" "

[ The Jimmy Stryker Show theme plays as Jimmy steps out from the back. You can see the "applaud" signs light up as he walks out. What? You think people would applaud him if there were no signs? He steps into the center of the room. He smirks and points out to the audience. He then walks over to his desk and takes a seat behind it. He opens his water bottle and takes a sip. He then scoots his chair back and props his legs up on the desk. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "Ladies and gentleman, we have stepped into a new era of entertainment here. The Jimmy Stryker Show. That's right. Only on Revolution Television. You see, they won't allow this show anywhere else. Apparently, they do not approve of cursing and sexual remarks on Fox or NBC. We have a great show on hand for you tonight. We have some interviews. We have some guests. We have a musical performance. And you know what makes this show so great? Rick Young isn't on it! Far be it for me to keep you waiting, though. Let's get on with the show! Let's bring out our first guest. "

Voice:" Ladies and gentleman... Let's welcome our first guest... Former Strike Towers superstar.... "The Sweetness" Sean Lane!!! "

[ The audience cheers as "Lap Dance" by N.E.R.D. plays in the background. Sean Lane walks out, dragging a HUGE blue cooler behind him. He smiles and then stumbles towards the seats. He takes his place on the chair next to the desk and looks out to the audience. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " Well, Sean, it's good to have you here. " Sean Lane: .....

Jimmy Stryker: " Right, well, let's get on to it. So, Sean, it looks like you have fallen off the wagon, eh? "

Sean Lane:" What are you talking about, man? You're confusing me. "

[ Jimmy shakes his head. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " Well, since you can not comprehend that question, let's move on to another. What the hell are you doing nowadays? "

[ Lane gets a puzzled look on his face. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "........Alright then. Maybe you'll understand this one. How does it feel to lose the love of you life? How does it feel knowing you weren't man enough to hang on to Brandi James..."

Sean Lane:" What should I answer?"

Jimmy Stryker: " You must be forgetting... Ah, fuck it. I will say it in slow motion for your drunk ass.... How does it feel to lose Brandi James? "

Sean Lane:" It's about time you speak English... Losing her isn't bad. She was a hell of a woman..and I have my liquor to comfort me now, but don't think for one minute that I wouldn't go at it with her again. She's the devil you know?"

Jimmy Stryker: "Wow, a compliment. I'm sure your former ex would really feel the love from that."

[ Jimmy takes a sip of his water. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " Moving along now... Where have you been in recent times? It seems as if you have dropped off the face of the earth. Retire from wrestling? What's the deal? "

Sean Lane:" Everyone knows what I've been doing. I've been laying low while drinking alot, and partying alot. Yeah I have retired from wrestling. I would say I'll come back sometime, but for right now I'm doing my own thing ya know. "

[ Sean opens the cooler and pulls out a beer. ]

Sean Lane:" I can drink on the show right? "

Jimmy Stryker: " Yeah, knock yourself out. Now, you say that you are retired, but if you are retired... How am I supposed get a turn to kick the shit out of you ? "

Sean Lane:" Well fuck.. Whats stopping you now? "

[ Jimmy raises an eyebrow. ]

Jimmy Stryker: Ahem, what did you just say to me?

[ Lane stands up with beer bottle in hand. He takes a sip and calmly says. ]

Sean Lane: " What the hell is stopping you from stomping my ass now? "

[ Jimmy chuckles. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "Well, I guess... "

[ Jimmy stands. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " NOTHING, YOU DRUNKEN IDIOT!!! "

[ Jimmy rushes out from behind his desk and starts to exchange blows with "The Sweetness". Sean Lane throws the bottle to the ground and then gains the upperhand. He then nails a HUGE right hand sending Jimmy flying backwards and over his desk. He jumps up on the other side and dusts himself off. He glares at Lane. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "SECURITY!!!!! "

[ Suddenly, three security guards rush the scene and grab Lane.. He tries to break free but they have quite the hold on him as they begin to drag him to the back. As Lane is being pulled away, he yells: ]

Sean Lane:"Jimmy! Any time you feel froggy, jump motherfucker! "

[ Jimmy gets an angry look on his face. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " Yeah, well... I'M KEEPING YOUR BEER, YA JERK! "

[ Sean is pulled off camera and into the back. Jimmy opens the cooler and snatches a beer out of it. He speaks under his breath. ]

Jimmy Stryker:" Take this you son of a bitch. "

[ Jimmy opens the bottle and chugs it. He then throws the bottle down on the ground of the set. He takes his seat again. He clears his throat and looks out to the audience. ]

Jimmy Stryker: I apologize for that. Some morons just can't keep it under control. Did you see how he jumped over my desk to get to me? That was uncalled for.

[ The crowd is silent. ]

Jimmy Stryker:"Eh, lighten up you idiots."

[ You hear a cough in the crowd. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " Shall we trudge forth? Yes, I believe we shall. "

[ Jimmy shuffles about on his desk and finally gets his hands on some note cards. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " Now it's the time of the show I call "10 Reasons I Hate Simon Sensation".

[ The crowd has a mixed reaction. ]

Jimmy Stryker: Let's begin. Number ten. His intellect... Or lack thereof. Number nine. His hair. It's so greasy and grimey. Get some shampoo, it'll work wonders. Number eight. The way he believes that he is the only man that can "save" AWA...Folks we all know . AWA is beyond saving. It's dead already. Number seven. His stench. Now, this also falls under the hair category, but I felt it deserved it's own. His stench is overwhelming. It nearly knocks me on my ass. I can smell the stink that is him a mile away. "

[ Jimmy sniffs. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " He must be near. Number six. That goofy smile he wears so proudly. Nobody wants to see you happy man... Simon, you're supposed to be a big wrestling star, get to acting like one. "

[ Jimmy switches to the next card. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "Number five. The fact that he has the audacity to claim that he will win every match he is in. We can't win all the time, Simon, well... I can, but that's because I am a superb athlete. Number four. His squinty eyes. You know, someone should really shoot him in the face, put him out of his misery. We may all get along better that way. Number three. His shy ness for the camera. Not that I really give 2 shits about his silly life..but dude do some infront of the camera live buddy.. . Number two. The fact that he has a fluffy pink bunny as a pet...Dude. Don't lie, Simon, I've seen you with it backstage, showing it off. There are places that can help you with that obsession. Find one of those places... Quick. And the number one reason I hate Simon.... "

[ A drumroll begins. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "Shut the fuck up. "

[ Jimmy clears his throat. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "And the number one reason I hate Simon is....... "

[ Jimmy puts the cards down. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " The fact that he is under the impression that he will be walking out of the arena after Adrenline adding a loss to my record. First off, Simon, you will not be adding a lost to my record. I refuse to lose to someone beneath me. Seeing as I am the superior athlete and all around better person, you will not be winning. Secondly, what makes you think that you will even be walking out of the arena? When I'm finished with you, you'll be confined to a hospital bed. Ever had to use a bedpan, Simon? It's not a pretty thing. You'll find out what that's like Monday night. Simon, there is no room in the wrestling world for people like you. You know what kind of people I am talking about, don't you? I am talking about people that think they are hardcore. If I have to sit through another one of your boring promos or boring matches... I am going to bomb your house.... Simon.., can you name one good thing that has come out of you being here? THE ANSWER to that question is no, nothing good has come out of it. Do you know why? Because you suck. The big story in this match is the fact I'm doing double duty Monday night..that's right baby Jimmy Stryker is in high demand...and you...well..You're just a stepping stone.. I'm sure... No one expects me to pull out a win. Hell, I am overlooked in this match. Atleast according to you I am. is that right? Well, that's just fine. I like to surprise people. I like to send old people to the hospital after having a heart attack. I find it amusing. That's just the sick twisted fucker..I am...Simon.. Do you know how many awards and titles I won there? Too many. Get over yourself. I am oozing with greatness. You are an insignificant speck of dirt on my shoe. Monday night... I am going to stamp you out. "

[ Jimmy tilts his head to the side. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "Well, it's time to go to a comercial. Wait.... Fuck, no comercials. I suppose it's time to bring out my next guest then, eh? What do you say? "

[ The audience applauds as Jimmy smirks. ]

Voice:" Ladies and gentlemen... Please welcome.... Cody Carson!!!! "

[ The generic Cody Carson music plays in the background as Cody walks out from the back with a TV under his arm. Jimmy looks at him oddly as Carson walks over to the desk and takes a seat in the chair next to it. He puts the TV on the floor in front of him. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " Why in the hell do you have a TV with you? "

Cody Carson:" In case you say something stupid, so I can bash you in the fucking skull with it. "

Jimmy Stryker:" Well that's not very nice. Why can't you ever be nice to me? Wait a second... You're acting like this because I taught you my ways, aren't you? Aren't you?! "

Cody Carson:" No you fucker. I don't act like anything. I AM like this because I'm usually fucking pissed because people suck. "

Jimmy Stryker:" People suck. Interesting point of view. Who exactly sucks at this point in time? I'm sure there are many but one must stand above all the rest. "

Cody Carson:"The fuckhead who didn't make a turn signal. Fucker cuts me off, and doesn't even turn his fucking blinker on. Whoever has the red jetta, I hope you're happy you dickless bitch, cause I broke your fucking winshield, and no, I won't pay for it you mother fucker. "

Jimmy Stryker:............

[ Suddenly Jimmy's cell rings. ]

Jimmy Stryker:" Ehhh, one second, I must take this call. "

[ Jimmy answers the phone. ]

Jimmy Stryker:"Ehhh... Hello? Oh, hey Mr. James. Wait, dude, calm down .... Wait a second.... "

[ Jimmy glances at Carson..].

Jimmy Stryker:"Someone smashed your windshield? .... Hold on, what kind of car do you drive now? ..... Ummmm, what color? ..... Ehhhh... "

[ Jimmy gulps. ]

Jimmy Stryker:"Yeah, I have to go. Later. "

[ Jimmy quickly hangs up the phone. ]

Jimmy Stryker:"So, uh, Carson... Who's your next AWA target? Oh wait that's right your the pussy that couldn't hang...what the fuck was I thinking..?"

[ Jimmy's eyes shift back and forth. ]

Cody Caroson;" Well First, there's that fucking camera man, Phil. That asshole spilt coffee on me before my last match. Then I'm gonna beat the shit out of Conroy the popcorn dude, that fucker called me a honkey and mooned me. And last, the next fucker who I get signed in a match with....If I ever show my ass back here again.."

Jimmy Stryker:"What if... I am the next person to be signed against you? If you do come back."

Cody Carson:" I'd kick your ass. Then I'd beat the shit out of you. After that, I'd beat you with a stick. And then, I would have that match with you. Then I'd destroy you, and then I would win. Well, that's at least what I planned out for whoever I face next. "

Jimmy Stryker:".....Would now be a bad time to tell you that I know who cut you off? "

Cody Carosn:" Nah, I let my fustrations out on that ass's winshield. What, was it Mike Young's car? Cause I don't give a shit. It could be Mr. Jame's for all I care. "

Jimmy Stryker:"Well, alright then. "

[ Jimmy makes a motion as if he were zipping his lips. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "Now to another topic. What is this rumour I heard about some sort of bodyguard?"

Cody Carson;" Yes, I do. I don't really need him much because I usually kick people's asses. But I always lay the blame on him. Gun charges, assualt, arson, murd- err... any crime at all, he takes full resposibility for, and I bail him out anyway. "

Jimmy Stryker:" Is there a chance that said person is here? "

Cody Carson;" Actually, yes. DESTRUCTION! "

[ Jimmy hears the name, and is a bit frightened. Then, a five foot tall midget who looks like Gary Coleman walks out. Jimmy cracks up. ]

Cody Carson:" I wouldn't laugh. "

[ Jimmy continues laughing. ]

Jimmy Stryker:"What in the fuck?! HAHAHAHAHA!! Are you kidding me?! "

[ Destruction taps the chair Jimmy is sitting in, and it falls over.]

Destruction:" NEVER SAY YAY TO DESTRUCTION! "

[ Jimmy jumps up from his spot on the ground. He sets the chair back up and scoffs at Destruction. ]

Jimmy Stryker:"You little bastard. "

[ Jimmy semi-shoves the midget. Destruction then jumps up on Jimmy, and bites his watch off, then chews it up, and spits it out. Then he has bloodshot eyes and says: ]

Destruction:" I WILL EAT YOU! "

[ Jimmy staggers and then backs away from Destruction. He looks at the audience, that is laughing at him. ]

Jimmy Stryker:" Alright, that's it... SECURITY!!!!!!! "

[ The security guards surround Destruction. He kicks one in the shins, and then punches the other two in the testicals, and then jumps on one, and hurricanranas him onto one of the other security guards. One gets up, and Destruction jumps on his ankle, and begins to bite it. Destruction lets go as the guard runs away. One more gets up, and Destruction punches him in the stomach. He then ties the guard's shoe laces together. And then, a familar cry is head. ]

Kasey: "WhoOoOoOoOoOoOoooOOOooOoah! "

[ Jimmy's assistant Kasey.. runs, and trips over a guard and is on his hands and knees behind a security guard, and then he pulls the guard's pants down as Destruction dripkicks him. The other guard gets up, and recives a wedgie from Kasey. Destruction leg drops the last guard as he bent over from the wedgie. ]

Cody Carson:"See what two weeks of training does for them? They should become a great tag team eventually. "

Jimmy Stryker:" Alright, Cody... I think I have had just about enough of you. You need to just move over to the couch and remain there the rest of the show. You are one , abnormally odd man. "

Cody Carson: "I'd fuck you up with this TV usually. But I'll spare your ass this one time just make example of this poor fucker. "

[ Cody smashes the TV over Kasey's head. ]

Cody Carson:" Sorry dude. Had to take it out on someone. Remember Jimmy, next time it's you. "

Kasey:" OoOooOooOoO... BIRDIES! "

[ Cody Carson moves out of the chair and takes a seat on the couch. Destruction walks over and sits next to him. Carson looks down at Kasey and then grabs him by the back of the shirt. He lifts him up and sets him on the couch next to Destruction. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "We musn't waste any time. The show isn't as long as I would like it to be. We must hurry along to my next guest. "

Voice:" Ladies and gentleman... Please welcome... Rhiannon James!!! "

[ the crowd cheers. Rhiannon walks out and sits on the chair next to the desk. She gazes at Jimmy and smiles. ]

Jimmy Stryker: Well, look at what we have here... The sexiest manager in all of AWA The lovely Rhiannon James. How are you doing this evening? "

Rhiannon James:" I'm doin' fine. And yourself? "

Jimmy Stryker: I'm getting by... I've had to call security twice tonight. Once for Lane and the other for that little runt over there. "

[ Destruction growls at Jimmy. ]

Jimmy Stryker: ....Right. Now, Rhiannon, tell me... How are you feeling about me main event this coming Monday..proud of your man or what?

Rhiannon Jame:"I feel great. You make me so proud baby..... "

Jimmy Stryker: That's awesome. Let's get to what the people of AWA really want to know, though. Who is the greatest athlete to ever step foot into AWA?

Jimmy Stryker: "The greatest athlete? Ah... Well, in all honesty,and without being biased, I would still have to say you, Jimmy. I think you set the standard for all the rookies. I know when I first came into AWA, I definitely admired you. "

[ Jimmy looks into the camera. ]

Jimmy Stryker: See, Simon, I do have fans, contrary to your belief. "

[ Jimmy looks back at Rhiannon. ]

Jimmy Stryker: " And, as far as you know, the best person in bed in AWA is.....? "

Rhiannon James:" Hah... Well,I would have to say Destruction can do this thing with his tounge that is absolutely amazing... "

[ Jimmy nearly vomits. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "Man... Eww... Tell everyone that was a joke. "

Rhiannon James:" Ahh, yes... You know you have no competition in the bedroom, baby. "

[ Jimmy raises his arms. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "You hear that?! Huh?! I'M THE GREATEST! MUHAMMAD ALI STYLE! "

[ Jimmy pours water over his head to calm himself down a bit. ]

Jimmy Stryker: "And as far as this match on Monday night is conserned... Who do you believe the winner will be between myself, Simon,? "

Rhiannon James:" Well, honestly I think Simon is over-rated... I would choose you as the winner. More charisma, style, and to put it plainly, you're just better than him."

Jimmy Stryker: Well, you know... You don't give him enough credit. Between his idiocy and fluffy bunny...They could be quite the dangerous duo. What do you think? "

Rhiannon James:" I don't know... There's the chance simon could pull off some devastating moves in his current position of having his heads up his ass. "

Jimmy Stryker: " Finally! You understand the point. But, Rhiannon, I'm sorry we have to cut this so short. The show's only an hour long. We have to move on to other things, you know? "

Rhiannon James:" Understood. Thanks for having me. "

Jimmy Stryker: "Anytime. You're always welcome here. "

[ Jimmy sifts through a desk drawer and finally pulls out.... MORE NOTECARDS! Time for a musical performance. Ladies and gentleman.... DISTUUUUUUUUUUUUURBED! ]

[ The band begins to play.... ]

Disturbed (Singing "God of the Mind"): Na ha-nha! Get in get in get in get into now! Get in get into come take over me! Get in get in get in get into now! Get in get into come take over me! Get in get in get in get into now! Get in get into come take over me! Get in get in get in get into now! Get in get into like me! Time, not having an easy time... Never gonna have an easy time... Given the run around to me... I can feel it coming around again... Time, a changing a wasting... Come and get up in my face again... Yes... Time, given the run around to me... And I’m not having an easy time! Never having an easy! You know this time it has never gone easy! Time never having an easy! You’ll never meet another like me! Get in get into like me like me! Get in get into like me like me! Get in get into lie to me like me! Get into like me like! Time, not having an easy time... Never gonna have an easy time... Given the run around to me... I can feel it coming around again... Time, a changing a wasting... Come and get up in my face again... Yes... Time, given the run around to me... And I’m not having an easy time! Never having an easy! You know this time it has never gone easy! Time never having an easy! You’ll never meet another like me! Get in get into like me like me! Get in get into like me like me! Get in get into lie to me like me! Get into like me like!

[ Short guitar solo. ]

Disturbed (Singing "God of the Mind"): GET READY!

[ Picks back up. ]

Disturbed (Singing "God of the Mind"): Time never gonna die! Never gonna give into me! You want a Deity like me! You want a God! But you’re never gonna give into me! Want a Deity like me! Time, Get it Get it... Time, is just another God Of The Mind... Time, get it get it... Time, is just another God Of The Mind... Time, Never having an easy! You know this time it has never gone easy! Time, never having an easy! You’ll never meet another like me!

[ The crowd gives a standing ovation as the song ends. Jimmy finally stands as something is being brought out from the back by a stage hand. ]

Jimmy Stryker:"Thank you, Disturbed! "

[ The camera zooms in on what has been carried out. It is that of a cardboard cutout. The camera zooms in on the face to see that it is that of Simon. ]

Jimmy Stryker:" With every great show... There must be a time that it closes. Now is that time. To end this show, though, you will see a little preview of what will happen Monday Night Adrenaline."

[ Jimmy backs away from the cutout and stares at the crowd. He then flies forward nailing the cutout in the head with a [Superkick]!!! The head goes flying off as Jimmy raises his arms. ]

Jimmy Stryker:" Get ready, Simon. get ready, "

[ Show fades as the audience claps. ]

Slinging the shit…

Well…Well…Well…Simon are you having a good time so far? Are you comfortable? If you are you may want to rethink that. I have nothing against you but one thing and I’m sure it’s the same thing you have against me. We’re both road blocks to the other. Standing in the other person’s way of getting to the top and to Alex Wilkins because let’s face it. When Rick Young does face Alex there is no way in hell, he’ll beat Alex. Rick maybe a tough guy with people less weaker than he is mainly women. But against someone that actually can fight back. Let us just say I’m very eager to see Rick out of commission for a bit.

as for you, you, and I are exactly where we should be main eventing. Although I’m not pleased that Rumbler is the guest referee. I just don’t get that guy at all. All that potential and yet he clings to people worse than a chick. Hell Rhiannon doesn’t even cling to me that way during sex. It’s like I turn around and he this guy is helping me win. Dude no offense but I could have pulled a win over Carson’s ex all on my own. I suppose he thinks something is owed to him now. Jesus fuckin’ Christ . You know what Rumbler just do your damn job...count out my victory...then leave the ring. Oh yeah and get over your man crush on me will ya!

I don't know why you all the sudden have taken such an interest in me but it's weird dude...really. I mean I know I'm sexy but go back to your chick... Cuz Jimmy ain't down with dick...got it? Good!

Simon...it's time for you to be handed your first loss since your return...and I'll be happy to do it for ya man..You can thank me later...