-|We fade in to what appears to be some sort of white room. There are three windows. One on the back wall, one on each side wall. On the wall without a window, we see the door to the room. We see what appears to be sixteen shadowy figures standing near the door... The shadows are cast by the night sky shining into the room. We spin around to see a long table. Sitting behind three chairs on the table are Kasey ( Brandi's loyal assistant ), on the far right hand side of the table [your left], Lexus Malone in the middle, and Jimmy Stryker on the far left [your right]. The three look at each other and smirk. They all pick up their beers almost in complete synch and take sips. They nod and set their bottles down. On either side of the table stands two security guards... There are four table. Kasey looks back and forth at the security guards and chuckles. Jimmy speaks to the sixteen figures.|-
Jimmy Stryker: Now is your time. I am allowing you all the opportunity to become the official Jimmy Stryker lackey. Now, I don't just let anyone audition...
Lexus Malone: Ah, who are you kidding, Jimmy? Of course we do. -
[ Jimmy hangs his head in shame.|-
Jimmy Stryker: She's right. I really don't give a shit. Now...
|He clears his throat.|-
Jimmy Stryker: "What we are going to do is look at your posture and tone of voice today. What I mean by posture is... Kasey, tell them.
Kasey: How well you hold a cup of coffee, of course. And as far as the tone of voice goes... Well, we need someone who speaks proper english and won't lose his temper when we laugh at him and tell him to take our coffee back to get another cup.
-|Jimmy nods.|-
Jimmy Stryker: "Now, if you all would be so kind as to exit the room at this moment. A cup of coffee will be handed to each of you before you return. And don't worry, you won't be judged on the heat of the coffee today. After we are done evaluating you, we will be giving our thoughts on you.
Lexus Malone:Welcome everyone to the great Jimmy stryker Lackey Tryouts: Round One!
|You can hear the sixteen figures begin talking to one another and laughing. The door slowly opens and they step out. The sit in silence for a moment, waiting for the first person to enter. Suddenly, the door creaks open. We hear a familiar voice...|-
???? ??????: Sorry for taking so long to come back in, Jimmy. They didn't have my coffee ready--
Jimmy Stryker: Save it. Don't even both to state your name. You look way too much like Cody Carson...get the fuck away from me.
[ The look a like runs out. Jimmy shakes his head, motions for the rest of the line. As the line of 16 stand there infront of the table, Jimmy looks them over for a moment. He lifts a mega-phone from the side of the table, and begins to speak. ]
Jimmy Stryker: "Would lackey's with the un-even number take a step foward."
[ The line look at one another, then the odd number step foward. Lexus slides a paper over to Jimmy. Jimmy looks at it, then calls out with his mega-phone. ]
Jimmy Stryker: " Lackey number one. Name, and exactly why you want the job of my lackey."
[ A small latino mall about 5"4 steps foward, and softly speaks. ]
Latino Male: " My..name..."
[ Jimmy interrupts. ]
Jimmy Stryker: " Um,.... alittle louder Paco."
Latino Male: "Mr. Styrker, my name is Tim, not Paco."
Jimmy Stryker: " Tim, Hector, Robert......Paco...Does it really matter."
[ Jimmy looks down at the paper, as Kasey gets up and pulls a chair over. Jimmy snaps his fingers, and points at the chair. ]
Jimmy Stryker: "Now sit Paco..."
[ The first tryout out sits quickly. Jimmy leans over to Lexus, and whispers to her. ]
Jimmy Stryker: " Make a note, takes orders that are given well.."
[ Lexus nods. ]
Lexus Malone: "right."
Jimmy Stryker: "It's about all the spics seem to be good for."
[ Jimmy chuckles as Lexus shakes her head while she writes. Jimmy again shout into his Mega-phone. ]
Jimmy Stryker: "Next?......"
[ A rather large gentleman that appears to be close to 300lbs, with the number 3 pinned to his chest steps forward. ]
Lackey #3: " Hello, Jimmy...I'm..."
Jimmy Stryker: " You're exceeding the maxium weight limit on your belt dude.....Didn't you read that no one over 250 can apply. Unless it's muscle."
Lackey 3#: "That's not fair...I can do the job just as well as the next guy."
[ Jimmy smirks, and folds his hands as he leans forward. ]
Jimmy Stryker: " Listen up ass jockey. I can't risk sending you out for lunch and you returning with nothing. Only to hear ...."geez, Jimmy....I got hungry on the way back."....Are you kidding me? You're too fat to even be standing in line."
[ The nervous wanna be lackey wipes tiny beeds of sweat from his forehead. ]
Lackey 3#: " All I want is a chance Jimmy."
[ Jimmy raises his voice and points at him. ]
Jimmy Stryker: "That's Mr. Stryker to you fatty...Why don't you go join a reality show that forces you to lose weight."
[ Lexus looks at Jimmy. ]
Lexus Malone: " I believe the show's name is the biggest loser, Jimmy."
Jimmy Stryker: " Whatever...biggest loser...I'm stuck on a fat farm with skinny trainer, without the food I love...Doesn't change the fact it's a bunch of lard asses, who let themselves get that way cuz their lack of self control."
[ Jimmy points to the door. ]
Jimmy Stryker: " hit the bricks fat boy, and try not to strain yourself walking to the door on your way out. Last thing I need is a fucking law suit by your fat mother. I can just see it now..." Fat man drops dead existing, Stryker lackey tryouts. "
Lackey 3#: " but Jimmy..."
Jimmy Stryker: " but...but....hurry quick...you might be losing weight as we speak...Go...I'm sure you'll find a slop shop Burger King, or a doughnut around the corner."
[ Lackey number 3 drops his head, and almost appears to have tears in his eyes, as he exists to the door. Jimmy points to the score card. ]
Jimmy Stryker: " Lexy...write...too fat....Large enough to be three people..."
Lexus Malone: " You're so mean Jimmy."
Jimmy Stryker:" NO ! I just told him the truth. The world is mean...Making fat people think obesity is a diese is cruel. The people that make moo moos...plus size clothing lines. They should be all locked away till they have enough confidence and pride to get skinny.."
[ Lexus rolls her eyes. ]
Lexus Malone: " Moving on.."
Jimmy Stryker: "number 5...step toward the line."
[ Lackey number 5 another male, a short person about 4"1 steps forward. Jimmy gets all excited. ]
Jimmy Stryker: "Now this is more like it !"
[ Lexus looks at Jimmy in shock. ]
Lexus Malone: "You mean he's not too small for you?"
Jimmy Stryker: "Hell NO ! He's great ! Don't you know midgets equal ratings?"
[ Lexus hits herself in the head sarcastically. ]
Lexus Malone: " Ooops..must have been a blonde moment for me, Jimmy. I plum forgot that."
Jimmy Stryker: " It's cool, you're a hot piece of ass so I can let it slide....Hell, we'll get him a step stool, it'll be great ! "
Lackey number 5: "Step stool...midget? Hell, I'm outta here ! Fuck you, Stryker. "
Jimmy Stryker: " Yes ! that's the attitude I want ! Oh, man this must be my lucky day ! An anger hell bent midget."
[ Lackey number 5 walks to the exist door, he turns around and flips Jimmy off. Jimmy stands up yelling toward the door. ]
Jimmy Stryker: " Come back here and do that to my face you little fucker. The elf-kin tryouts are next door anyway. "
[ Jimmy again points to the paper. Lexus is already writting down. ]
Lexus Malone: " I know...ungrateful to be in my sheer presence, and angry at the world for being a reject and circus freak."
[ Jimmy nods ]
Jimmy Stryker: " I love the circus freak part...nice touch."
[ As Lexus looks up she notices her newly hired AWA promo crew. She leans over to Jimmy to speak to him. Jimmy slams his hands down on the table, then grabs his mega-phone. ]
Jimmy Stryker:" We're breaking for lunch people. This will pick up in an hour. Since I have some bullshit work to do. Now get, but make sure in exactly one hour your asses are here."
[ The rest of the lackey scatter and head out. Lexus and Kasey pick up some folders from the table, and exit as well. As Jimmy sits in his chair, and looks at the camera crew. ]
Match Talk: Mikey....I suppose that you're going to try to scare me. Probably going to act all big and bad, saying how you're going to beat my ass. New flash junior...
Anyone that hangs with Cody Carson is just as much a piece of shit, by default.
Carson is our World Champion...What a fucking mistake AWA made by giving him that title shot. We all know the truth. Mike didn't want to be here anymore. Carson was handed that title the Exact same way that Mike Young was.
Awe what's wrong? Going to come after me for telling you the truth. That your "leader" didn't really earn that title. Fucking sickens me, Young got handed his title, Carson handed his....Hey here's an idea.
Go find some real competiton so AWA starts to look like it's credible. Carson being our World Champion is such a fucking joke. You being associated with him, makes you a fucking joke.
Personally I don't understand how you could have bought into his bullshit he was slinging at you. How you were going to buck the establishment. What does he go and do. He gets into bed with Hunter Davis. Are you a fucking moran Mikey? Right then and there you shouldn't have realized something was wrong. You can't fuck the establishment when your allowing them to decided your "face man" Your "leaders" next move. It's bad for business, and shows me that you're not the brightest bulb for just going with the flow.
What could I really exspect though, after all Carson is never going to be his own man anyway. He started out a lackey. Actually the lackey of Shawn Walsh, and his goregous now former wife Brandi James. Carson barely can decide for himself if he has to shit or not. It's no wonder when Hunter came calling Carson buckled. Infact I bet at this very moment Rick Young is getting e-mails, phone messages and love letters from Carson. Begging Rick to save him from the mess he created with A3. Carson has always needed a strong man to tell him what to do. It's no wonder he leaves that task to Brandi. Brandi finds a man that is good looking, strong, cocky, and loves power, loves to take charge, and it makes Carson almost as wet as it makes Brandi.
A3 was never feared, never has been.... I have no respect for you, or anything that you have done for AWA. Truth is I've taken shits more interesting then yourself Mikey. And any respect I could have had for you, was definately destroy the minute you accepted Cody Carson, and bought it his bullshit.
Sunday, I'm going to not just beat you, but make you my fucking whipping boy. You've never seen the likes of myself before. When it's all said and done, chump...the only thing you'll be saying is....
Please Master, I'll do anything..Just don't hurt me !
You want to do something productive? Why don't you ask Cody Carson, exactly how familar these tryout are to him. To think you allowed your self to be lead by a lackey......What an asshole you are..
[ Jimmy swatts the camera away, and exists out the door shaking his head loudly laughing ]