Gather round people! You don’t need a scene…its simple enough. Jimmy Stryker is holding a press conference today. Why might you ask? That is also simple as well. It’s not a secret that AWA is in much need of a shot in the ass. The AWA needs a superstar that will not allow personal issues to interfere in the entertainment of the people. It’s in need of a showman, of a leader that isn’t afraid to say what is on his mind. Jimmy Stryker is the exact man for the job. Many of you are aware of the simple fact anytime Jimmy Stryker appears on your screens you are entertained and wanting more. Well have no fear people! Just as your favorite super hero, Jimmy Stryker is here to begin his mission. His mission is to take down Cody Carson and give you an AWA World Title holder that you can now be proud of. The head hunting for the New Year has begun and Jimmy Stryker has declared its open season for Carson hunting.

And now Stryker TV is proud to present…Jimmy Stryker!!!!!!

[ As the reporters begin to settle down just as Jimmy’s name is announced he is escorted to the podium by the lovely Jenny Tull who is wearing a “The Revolution will be televised” t-shirt. Jimmy also has on his black and white “Revolution” shirt as well along with a pair of blue jeans and timberland black boots. He gives Jenny a peck on the cheek then stands in front of the microphone. ]

Jimmy Stryker:” People, People…Settle down! “

[ Jimmy pauses for a moment then snarls.]

Jimmy Stryker:” Let’s go! I have other things to do today and your time begins now.”

[ He raises his right hand and looks at his Rolex. A portly reporter rises and shouts out.]

Portly Reporter:” Are you kidding Jimmy? Are you seriously timing us?”

[ letting out a chuckle Jimmy replies.]

Jimmy Stryker:” You’re damn right I’m timing you, lard ass. If anything you should be thanking me. This way you can keep on your eating schedule and won’t miss a meal there…slim...”

[ Hanging his head the man sits down. Jimmy places his hands on the podium and begins to speak.]

Jimmy Stryker:” Now just so everyone is clear this press conference is brought to by Stryker TV. Since the AWA doesn’t realize that you have to live on the edge to entertain and push the proverbial envelope in order to keep the attention of the average wrestling fan. And let’s face it they aren’t too bright to begin with, so a little pepper every now and than to a very bland brand sure as hell doesn’t hurt.

but far be it that I actually try to do just that. When they allow a complete imbecile like Cody Carson to still hold the World Title and not put him in decent matches. Do you know why that main event happened? Because it’s harder to be the target when they there are so many people that want to eliminate the other to get to you. Cody Carson fears more things then he lets on. But the two main men he fears are Seth Thomas and good Ole’ Jimmy.”

[ At that point Jimmy is interrupted by a woman that stands up.]

Woman:” Jimmy, Heidi Jacobs from Jane magazine. Do you really believe that Cody Carson is worried about you? After all weren’t you his former lackey yourself?”

[ Gritting his teeth Jimmy barks out as he points to Heidi.]

Jimmy Stryker:” You think that’s funny? Go fucking jump the fuck back on your Swiss Miss box there Heidi…you God damn lesbo! I know what Carson fears, and trust me that redneck wanna be fears Seth Thomas. Reality is Carson should fear me more. Sure Sethy and Carson were friends but I know his deep dark secrets. I know exactly how to get inside his head. But as far as me being his lackey, his errand boy…I think we have established that the only reason I even wasted my time with that panty waste was to get to Brandi James. Now Granted I failed on that mission since Brandi jumped on the most married of men. Maybe I should have gotten married and then she would have wanted me….”

[ Jimmy pauses as his mind begins to drift for a moment. He is snapped out of his day dream when another reporter stands up. Before the man can say anything Jimmy waves his hand in front of his face.]

Jimmy Stryker:” It was insane for me to actually think that a civil press conference could be conducted. The main reason I am here is to tell you about the state of AWA and how to repair the problem. Which is exactly what I intend to do right now. All you people need to do is accurately write down what I say. Fuck sakes even a trained monkey could do that, but since we couldn’t get a few trained monkeys in here. I’ll have to continue.

AWA has the potential to be a ground breaking federation. Unfortunately the muscle head and the bimbo also know as Maxwell Williams and Lexus Malone have failed in taking young talent and marketing it the correct way. Instead Maxwell seems to be more concerned with Mike Young and his LSD trips. What are you thinking Max sending Skylar Black to do such a thing? You’re wasting your time Max thinking that Mike Young will return to his former glory and while there isn’t anything like virgin pussy, that doesn’t exactly straighten up a guy.

This week I am the only bright spot on the show card. Do you really think that anyone cares to see Skylar Black fight Carson’s skank girlfriend? I almost feel bad for Skylar…so sweet and innocent poor little lamb. She’s going to need to be disinfected after Cyprus touches her. Then you have Jalie Thomas against Angela Jameson….all that’s’ missing from that match is a whips and chains…hell that’s what the match should have been a dominatrix match, now that’s must see TV….

So let’s see exactly what each person has to offer…..Shall we?

Angela Jameson:Sexy Goth chick in serious need of some Jimmy attention….The woman isn’t used nearly the way she should be. Poor bitch doesn’t even realize that week after week she’s laying her body on the line and will never get a shot a Carson.

Next we have Adonis: Well there really isn’t any word on Adonis…from my understanding he’s on location doing his own private version of “broke back mountain part two…

What about Alex Wilkins? Let’s face it the only good thing about Alex was that we got to see his hot piece of ass wife faith ringside when he fought. Other than that the man really doesn’t have a whole lot to offer this place other than Faith.

speaking of faith of sorts Skylar Black: The sexy little good girl that is completely ignoring the bad girl with in. I think we can all agree on the fact that Skylar is disturbingly too happy and cheerful. No one is that good are they? First she wants to help Jalie Thomas kick the bottle. Why? We all know a drunk Jalie is a fun Jalie….Seth let the woman drink when ever and what ever she wants. Now Skylar is called upon to save Mike Young? Does it not sound like this chick is one miracle away from saint hood? Max stop being a fucknut and start making the chicks get naked…..

I actually now is a good time to say a few words about the woman’s roster….Here it is as follows…

Angela Jameson: See above comments….

Aspen Jacobs: Possess the S’s…..Spunk, Spirit and Skank…

Brandi James: My Goddess…..among nearly every other man’s…Stupid whore now is pregnant by Rick Young…that’s almost as bad as fucking Cody Carson…Thank God she never did…I have one word for Brandi James…abortion…get rid of the soon to be bald mans baby. Then come to daddy!

Carmen Dumas: Once fuckable but no longer since she’s been stuck by Cody Carson.. Carmen needs to be a naked commentator at ringside to start earning some self respect back. First smart move she did was kick Carson to the curb…

Cyprus Lolita: Has been tainted by fucking Cody Cason…And is losing intelligence points for actually admitting she has feelings for Carson. And there for makes her the biggest leech, tail coat riding ring rat……slash skank in AWA…

Faith Wilkins: You’re hurting me baby…you, Brandi and me need to have a three some soon….

Lastly Jalie Thomas: The sexiest drunk in AWA. Who has a secret crush on me…Don’t worry sexy, I won’t tell your hubby. But I will buy you all the liquor you want if you just admit Carson has an over inflated ego that needs to be busted….

Now that the main part of the women’s roster have been commented on lets talk about just a few men.

Johnny Arnette: Man the only person that cares about you in Johnny Arnette..Not your low life manager Clayton Walker, or Skylar Black for that matter any more…Set sail jerky…and don’t come back until you know someone else’s name other than your own.

The Young Brothers; Well at least one of you were smart enough to snag Brand James. Rick, I can’t actually believe I called you smart. But even you would have to admit your career hasn’t ever been this good. Since hooking up with Brandi people actually give a shit about who you are. Cherish it ass wipe cuz once Brandi dumps your ass people will be back to saying Rick who? Oh yeah he’s Mike Young’s brother. You know Mike Young the one with the actual talent in the Young Gunz.. That must really bite you in the ass hunh Ricky? That Mike gets all the glory…he does the risk moves and you…well buddy you do one hell of a leg drop….hahahaha….

Mike Young: Once promising…word to the wise…make yourself happy dude. Then get your ass back into the ring and take back what you GAVE to Cody Carson…It’s no longer a secret that you jobbed to him…it’s time everyone knows it and you start to actually admit it. What a tragedy to actually be told to job to someone that actually thinks more of himself than Johnny Arnette thinks of himself…talk about ego.

The Rumbler: Where you at man? You disappointing mother fucker! You once showed great promise and now what? You couldn’t even give a decent match against Skylar’s dog peanut…Do AWA a favor…find what use to be your balls and start using them again…

Tristian Wolf: My opponent this week…You junior aren’t worth the sweat from my balls never mind me wasting my precious time slamming a man who will never amount to a fucking thing in AWA. Go back home and paint your grandma’s toes..it’s all your good for…shit I’ll even give you 3 bucks for her favorite nail polish…keep the change..

And the Man that has the most to offer AWA…Seth Thomas…Seth I implore you….to give Carson what’s coming to him. He’s tried to turn your woman against you; he’s talking shit he can’t back up. If you allow Carson to get away with his antic you should just tuck your dick between your legs and call yourself a woman…..so Seth-arina..what’s it gonna be dude?

Lastly The joke of a World Champion Cody Carson….who has we speak is probably being test for HIV….Is this who you really think should be the World Champion? I didn’t think so. Carson deserves that title as much as Alex Wilkins who is probably sitting next to him getting tested…boys you can only play Russian roulette so many times before your number is up. What is there to say about you Carson that people haven’t already…What are some of the words used?

Egomaniac…Over-rated, Jackass, Mini-dick….I’ve polled some of the women you slept with…that was also followed by selfish lover and let me unsatisfied. Didn’t you learn anything while you had your ear pressed against Walsh’s bedroom door when he was nailing Brandi nightly? You know when you were deeply in love with her and dreamed that your pillow at night was Brandi. Didn’t listening to the Walsh’s teach you that there are certain things you need to do to a woman? Hell I thought it would. Or the many times you’ve tried to walk in on me to get a few fuck pointers. You would think a man that has watched as much porn as you Cody would have picked a tip or two up… Carson cow shit has more use than you do, at least that can use used for fertilizer. You’re done buddy the count down begins today by next PPV That title that brought you so much pussy will no longer be in your grasp…and all you have now is Cyprus? Haha…wow take the chance while you can to upgrade while you still can..cuz once you lose that title, the babe magnet you think your are will be gone…”

[ Jimmy looks around the room as everyone sits in complete shock. Jimmy rolls his eyes and walks off the stage. He looks at his assistant kasey who is standing by the buffet table. ]

Jimmy Stryker:”Let them swallow that…”

Kasey:” Jimmy, I think that’s going to anger a lot of people.”

Jimmy Stryker:” Good, someone needs to light a fire under the AWA.”

Kasey:” Was it really necessary to insult Maxwell and Lexus. They do control your fate.”

Jimmy Stryker: “Kasey…believe me..”

[ Before Jimmy can utter another word he notices a beautiful light skinned black woman standing by the buffet table. She’s 5”7 , about 109 lbs and looks very similar to beyonce. Jimmy says not another word to kasey and taps him on the shoulder. He then heads over to the woman, and leans against the corner of the table standing in front of her.]

Jimmy Stryker:” Hey baby….Can I ask you something.”

[ She smiles and bats her eyelashes..]

Woman:” Ok..”

[ Grinning from widely Jimmy asks.]

Jimmy Stryker:” I just wanted to know. What flavor Kool-aid you like with your fried chicken?”

[ Kasey with in ear shot begins to chuckle as Jimmy stands waiting for his answer. The woman seems speechless. Jimmy stands straight up and puts his arm around her shoulder.]

Jimmy Stryker:” My bet is it’s either grape or cherry….am I right?”

[ She looks at Jimmy’s arm around her shoulder, than shrugs.]

Woman:”I never thought about it…”

Jimmy Stryker:” We can think about it at my place…I’ll even let you test taste a new flavor. Ummmm….your name is?”

Woman: “ Nia…”

Jimmy Stryke:” Nia….very nice to meet you.”

Nia:”Same here….”

Jimmy Stryker:” So…what do you say? Kool-Aid…taste testing at my place.”

[ Nia blushes and begins to giggles as Jimmy rubs his nose in the grove of her neck and shoulder.]

Jimmy Stryker:”Can I take that giggle as a yes?”

Nia: “yes….Yes…”

Jimmy Stryker:”Good…come on…I’ll even let you decided if you want ribbed for her pleasure…”

Nia:”What woman doesn’t…?”

Jimmy Stryker:” Very true….Kasey….I’m off for the night…take my calls..”

[ Jimmy yells back to Kasey. Kasey gives Jimmy a thumbs up as Jimmy and Nia exit the building and the scene fades to black.]