.begin.

“Eh, what you want essa?” Jay asked, somewhat politely.

“Well now…” Gunther started as he turned back to the camera. “Apparently the Thomas’ have decided to take a Mexican immigrant into their home. What a great thing to do, introducing this unfortunate individual to our great country. Let’s see if he can help up at all.” Gunther turned back to Jay with a stupid smirk on his face.

“Who the fuck you calling an immigrant, man?” Jay shot back highly offended. “You think just cause I’m Mexican that I’m unfortunate? Look who’s talking homes, you can’t even dress yourself.” Gunther looked at his clothes, but failed to see what was wrong.

“I’m looking for Mr. Thomas. Is he in?” Gunther asked nervously.

“Actually…” Jay smirked. “Yeah, he is. Come on in.” He stepped aside allowing the goofy reporter to enter. “Right this way.” Jay led him to the basement door and opened it. “He’s down there.”

“Thank you. I’m glad we could put that little misunderstanding behind us.” Gunther smiled then started down the steps. Jay closed the door behind him and locked it. Moments later Gunther could be heard banging on the door. “Hey! He’s not down here! What the hell is this place!?” Jay walked off to the sound of Gunther desperately trying to break free.

-------------

“You guys know what to do, right?” Seth asked as he leaned his head out the window of the beat up El Camino. Jalie and Jay both nodded their heads before they took off. Seth pulled out of the parking lot and drove down a few blocks before taking a right. As he began to speed up, a guy walked out in front of him. Seth tried to slam on the breaks, but couldn’t in time. The man rolled up onto the hood and off the passenger side. Seth immediately got out and went to check on the guy. “Hey man, are you alright?”

“Oh, my head…” The guy complained. “My head. My back.” Before Seth could do anything, a woman ran up, hopped in the car and took off. Seth stood and began to yell at the speeding vehicle, then they guy quickly got up and took off.

“Fuck!” Seth exclaimed. Some guy came off the sidewalk and stood next to Seth.

“Hey, I saw what happened.” Seth glanced over at him.

“You have a cell phone?” Seth asked innocently.

“Yeah, I do.” The man reached into his coat pocket and offered the phone to Seth. Seth quickly dialed a number.

“Hi. My name is Harry Johnson, I’d like to report a stolen vehicle.” Seth paused momentarily. “A 1970 Chevy El Camino. Black. License plate number QVR 483.” Seth looked at the guy and gave a reassuring smile. “Thank you very much.” He hung up the phone and handed it back to the guy. He patted him on the back and jogged off to a nearby cab. The man looked at the number Seth had dialed and found an incomplete number.

“What the…?” The man asked himself. The taxi Seth had jumped into pulled into the same parking lot we had seen earlier, next to the El Camino. Jalie and Jay sat under a tree as Seth walked up to them, tossing a wallet into the air.

“That was too easy.” Seth confessed. He tossed the wallet to Jalie and she began to shuffle through it.

“It‘s empty!” She bellowed. Seth and Jay looked at her confused. “There’s not a fucking thing in it. No money, no credit cards…” Jalie stopped to look at the car that pulled up next to theirs.

“Shit, that’s the guy from earlier…” Seth pointed out. Jalie quickly tossed the wallet to Jay before the man approached them.

“Hello there.” The man greeted. The trio flashed him a few guilty smiles. “I am officer Timothy Duncan of the SDPD. That was quite the little scam pulled off back there. Maybe next time you‘ll make sure it‘s not on a police officer.” The three tried to look innocent, but it wasn‘t happening. “Alright, hands on the tree and spread ‘em.” The officer ordered. “That wallet has your prints all over it. Once I collect it, I‘ll be taking you three for a little ride.” The officer searched Seth and found nothing. He then moved over to Jalie, but still found nothing. He then approached Jay, who looked surprisingly calm. He thoroughly searched Jay, but to his surprise he found nothing. “Alright, where did you three deadbeats toss it?” The officer demanded.

“We know nothing of what you’re talking about, officer.” Jalie said, blatantly sarcastic.

“And we would appreciate it if you kept your hands to your own genitals…” Seth threw in.

“You three think you’re smart, huh? You’re not off the hook yet, not by a long shot. I’m going to be keeping a very close eye on you.” He motioned from his eyes to the group. He took one last look, huffed then walked back to his car. Both Seth and Jalie looked at Jay.

“What?” Jay muttered.

“What did you do with the wallet?” Jalie asked.

“I hid it.” He replied.

“Where?” Seth inquired.

“I’m Latino, I can hide anything.” Jay said casually. They shrugged it off and headed for the El Camino. “By the way, Lielee. This guy came by the house earlier, said his name was Boohiney or something. Real obnoxious prick. I left him in the basement for you.”

“Oooooh.” She giggled with excitement as they climbed into the car and drove off.

.end.

Still nothing else from you, eh? Did you develop a case of the limber tail? You were so, well, energetic I suppose. But it’s no wonder why you haven’t worked your way up yet. You’re all talk. You like to talk a lot of shit and put on a show, but when it comes down to it you just don’t have it. But don’t be too hard on yourself, I’ve encountered a lot of people like that. It’s a very common thing. Maybe you should demand that you’re caretaker, owner, whoever she is to let you out of your cage and see just how well you’d last out here in the real world.

I guarantee it won’t be a pleasant trip.

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