.begin.

“Since when do you do laundry?” Seth asked.

“Since we got new Tide Cold Water laundry soap.” Nick held the bottle in front of him. “It works better in cold water then other leading brands do in warm water, which will save you money.” He explained then took off. Seth and Jaile looked at each other confused.

“What the fuck was that about?” Jalie asked.

“Beats me.” Seth shrugged. He went back to his workout as Jalie propped her feet up on a chair. “Hey, what are those?” Seth asked, pointing to her feet.

“These are my new Reebok Classic Leather Chromed shoes. I am what I am.” Jalie stated. Seth got off the exercise equipment and wiped his face off with a towel. “Nifty shirt you got there.” Jalie pointed out.

“Yeah, it’s the new Nike Pro Apparel. For warriors.” Suddenly Seth was wearing a samurai helmet designed like a tiger.

“What the fuck!?” Jalie blurted. Just as sudden as it appeared, it was gone. Their attention was now on Jay who walked into the room carrying a Taco Bell bag.

“What? Haven’t you ever seen a Latino walking around with a bag from Taco Bell before?”

“Actually, no.” Seth admitted. “What you got in there?”

“A spicy chicken burrito off the Big Bell Value menu.” Jay told him. “Shredded all white meat chicken marinated in a in a spicy south-western sauce, loaded with shredded cheese and fiesta salsa then wrapped in a flour tortilla and grilled to go.”

“Wow, I’m full just thinking about it.” Seth pointed out. Jay left the room and Nick came in holding a package.

“This just came in via UPS for you Jalie.” Nick handed her the package. “What can Brown do for you?” She opened up the package.

“Hey, it’s a package of Oust Air Sanitizer. It kills ninety-nine point nine percent of odour causing bacteria in the air.” She takes a can and sprays it in Nick’s general direction.

“Is that supposed to be a hint?” Nick asked. Seth and Jalie just stared at him until he finally left.

“Could you pass me the bottle of new Gatorade Lemonade? Jalie asked. Seth grabbed the bottle next to him and tossed it to Jalie.

“Is it in you?”

Seth questioned.

“It will be later.” She noted. The two giggled and went silent mometarily.

“Did you know I used to weigh over three hundred pounds?” Seth informed Jalie.

“No you didn’t.” She stated.

“I know, but if I did I could’ve gotten in the shape I am now with the Bowflex Xtreme. For just nineteen dollars a month and backed by an unrivalled seven year warranty, it’s the only piece of fitness equipment we’d ever need.” The doorbell rang.

“Get the door, it’s Dominos!” Jalie blurted out. Seth went upstairs and answered the door. There stood the large Samoan guy from next door.

“Hey Dominos, what’s up?” Seth greeted.

“You gotta help me, man. I‘m nauseous, I have heartburn, indigestion, an upset stomach and diarrhea.

“Wow. Sounds like you could use some Pepto Bismol.” Seth pulled the bottle out from behind his back and held it in front of him with a big smile. He handed it to Dominos.

“Hey, thanks man.” Dominos said, then started to dance.

“Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea. Yay! Pepto Bismol!

He danced away and Seth closed the door. The doorbell rang again and he answered the door.

“Hello officer.” He greeted. “What can I do for you?”

“Don’t act smart, wiseass.” The officer shot back. “Now, where’s your little Mexican friend? You two have a date down at the station.”

“What for, officer?”

“For this!” The officer pointed to the bandage on his head. “You distracted me and that border jumper hit me over the head. Then I woke up in Arizona. Care to explain that?”

“Sorry, but I don’t know anything about it.”

“Don’t you sass me!” The officer put his finger in Seth’s face. “I want you and the Mexican out here, now!” Seth let out a loud sigh.

“Jay!” Seth yelled. Jay came jogging down the stairs. “You remember that officer from yesterday?”

“Yeah. The one we…” Jay trailed off when he noticed the officer in the doorway. “…didn’t do anything to.”

“All right you two, get out here.” The officer ordered. Seth and Jay reluctantly followed the officer to his car and as Jay got into the back he shouted.

“Watch Cops, weekdays on FOX!”

.end.

Good job Martin, you did your homework. Now you can go outside and play with Simon. You two play nice, you hear?

Tell me Martin, what good is it going to do me if I go around asking about you? For one, I’m from Canada and I have never heard about you. You’ve never heard about me. Am I offended? No, but it sure sounds like you are. Just because people know your name doesn’t make you invincible. Have you ever faced me? No. I don’t care who you’ve faced or who you’ve beaten, it all means shit to me because you have never faced me. I’m not some guy you beat over in Japan. I’m not some guy you beat over in Mexico. I’m the guy you’re facing this Sunday. I’m not going to fear you because you say I should. I’m not going to fear you because you’ve been around longer than I have. I have never gone into a match doubting that I could beat my opponent.

And I’m not about to start.

So you’ve watched one match of mine, and now you know everything about, eh? From one match against some ape you’ve scouted my every move? You know what I’ll do before I even think about doing it? Bullshit. You can’t tell anything about anybody from just one match. I’m not going to go out there and give everything I’ve got unless I have to. I didn’t even break a sweat with Kadwell, what could you have possibly gathered from that footage? You’re trying to make it look like you’re doing something. “Oh no, he watched my last match!” For a man of your stature, you can do a lot better than that. You’re not going to intimidate me Martin. A list of names is hardly a weapon, especially one that I know nothing of. You’ve beaten Rick Young, the “Technical Icon”. Congratulations. So if I were to beat you this Sunday, would I be better than you, or just some twenty-five year old punk who got off lucky? I can tell you what your answer is going to be right now.

Nothing would hurt you more than to lose to a twenty-five year old kid.

Nice to see you’re all fired up for the match. That can’t be good on your heart though, can it? I’ve gotten under your skin quicker than most, it must not be very thick. A few words from some lowly kid has stirred the blood of a long time veteran? It couldn’t be. Surely you being the veteran you are you know the worst thing you can do going into a match is be angry. Emotions are your worst enemy, but you should already know this. You don’t need me to tell you, do you? You know every trick in the book.

It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

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