--Hobo Nick--
Welcome, Branch 9746253180 of Bums United for San Diego and Surrounding Area. We will be having this meeting indoors this evening due to shitty weather. Now, let's get down to business.

Nick turned to the bum next to him and was handed a broken clipboard.

--Hobo Nick--
First order of business is to discuss where we will hold our annual convention this year. Any suggestions?

An older bum raised his hand at the back of the crowd and Nick pointed to him.

--Random Bum #1--
What about the zoo?

--Hobo Nick--
Nah. They got pissed one year and banned us when we went through and opened all the cages and put the employees in with the animals.

--Random Bum #2--
What about the Hilton?

--Hobo Nick--
Been there, done that.

--Random Bum #2--
I meant Paris.

--Hobo Nick--
Me too.

--Random Bum #3--
Why not here?

Nick put his hand on his chin and thought a moment.

--Hobo Nick--
Sounds like a good idea. That’s out of the way, on to refreshments.

Nick scribbled on the clipboard, which didn't actually have any paper on it.

--Random Bum #4--
Beer!

--Random Bum #5--
Bourbon!

--Random Bum #6--
Whiskey!

--Random Bum #7--
Scotch!

--Random Bum #8--
Wine!

--Random Bum #9--
Appletini!

Everybody turned to look at him. Oddly enough he looked eerily similar to Conan O'Brien.

--Hobo Nick--
Alright, what about food?

--Random Bum #10--
Stale doughnuts!

--Random Bum #11--
Rotten fish!

--Random Bum #12--
Pleather boots!

Everybody turned and stared at him.

--Hobo Nick--
"How the fuck do you eat a pleather boot?

Nobody answered.

--Hobo Nick--
There's a big barbeque out back, just bring your own shit and I’ll cook it up.

Nick scribbled on the clipboard again. Jalie walked into the kitchen and immediately gagged on the smell of wet bum. She tried to yell at them to get out, but couldn’t speak. Finally, she grabbed a Sharpie out of the kitchen drawer and wrote “GET THE FUCK OUT!” on the wall. They all herded out the patio door as Jalie ran over and opened the window.

--Jalie Thomas--
Are you trying to kill me!?

--Hobo Nick--
Well, the thought has crossed my mind…

Jalie reached for the closest object, which happened to be the toaster, and hurled it at Nick’s head. He ducked then ran off as Jalie chased him with a wooden spoon. The scene faded out.

-------------

The scene re-opened outside Hooters where Seth, Jalie and Jay were leaving the restaurant.

--Jalie Thomas--
Anybody who says they come here for the wings is a fucking liar.

--Seth Thomas--
Not everybody gets to eat a wing from the cleavage of a waitress.

--Jalie Thomas--
Hey, she offered.

They walked up to the beat up El Camino and were about to get in when Seth stopped and stared off to the other end of the parking lot.

--Jay Dumas--
Hey man, what are you looking at?

Jalie and Jay glanced over at the empty police car Seth was looking at.

--Jalie Thomas--
San Diego’s finest at its best…

--Seth Thomas--
How much do you want to bet the keys are still in there?

Before either could answer, Seth walked off. They followed him over to the car, keeping an eye out for the returning officers. Seth went to open the door, and not surprisingly, it opened. Jalie ran around to the passenger side and jumped in as Seth opened the back door.

--Seth Thomas--
Hop in, essa.

--Jay Dumas--
Why is it that when there’s a Latino guy in a cop car he’s always in the back seat?

--Seth Thomas--
Because nine times out of ten they don’t have a license to sell oranges…

Jay made a face at Seth and went to climb in the back seat but was stopped.

--Seth Thomas--
Hold on.

Seth reached into the front seat and Jalie handed him a pair of cuffs. Seth held them up to Jay.

--Jay Dumas--
Like I’ve never seen a pair of those before…

Seth cuffed Jay and helped him into the back seat. He got in the front and checked the ignition.

--Seth Thomas--
Shit. No keys.

Jalie opened the glove compartment and found a set. She handed them to Seth and he started the car. He quickly pulled out of the parking lot before too many people noticed what was going on. He pulled over a block away and let Jay out.

--Seth Thomas--
We’ll meet you at the park.

Jay casually walked off still cuffed. Seth got back in and drove off.

--Jalie Thomas--
So, how are you feeling?

Jalie looked over with a little grin.

--Seth Thomas--
Good, why?

--Jalie Thomas--
Really? Considering you got your ass handed to you by Natalie Sunday night, I didn’t think you’d be feeling that good.

--Seth Thomas--
I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I?

--Jalie Thomas--
Eventually, maybe.

Jalie winked at him.

--Jalie Thomas--
It amuses me how you have never beaten a woman in the ring. You’ve lost to me twice, now Natalie. You’re zero for three, dear.

--Seth Thomas--
Thanks for the update.

--Jalie Thomas--
Come on, honey. You know I’m only teasing you.

--Seth Thomas--
I know. I just really need to focus about this week. I haven’t been too hot so far.

--Jalie Thomas-- You’ve been out for a while. You need to remember that you’re not in RWA or EWO anymore. Just because you were hot shit there doesn’t mean it’s just going to happen here.

--Seth Thomas--
I know, I know. I need to get off my ass and do something about it. And the only way I’m going to do that is to get through Civil Warfare. I know what I’m capable of, I just need to show them. I’m a former RWA Heavyweight champion. It doesn’t mean anything here, but it means something to me. I know that, on top of my game, I can beat anybody on the roster. It’s just a matter of doing, not talking. I’m beginning to turn into Shawn…

--Jalie Thomas--
I don’t fucking think so.

Seth pulled into an ally where he and Jalie got out. He opened the trunk and they began searching. Jalie pulled out a female uniform that looked a little big for her and had humungous shoulder pads.

--Jalie Thomas--
Looks like we have ourselves a butch here.

Seth pulled out a male uniform that looked like would fit him, but had really short shorts. He held them up in front of him and they barely covered his package.

--Seth Thomas--
And a gay guy. Go figure.

Seth threw them back in the trunk and Jalie looked at him.

--Seth Thomas--
I am not wearing those.

Jalie raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. Seth just stared at her, refusing to give in.

--Jalie Thomas--
Fine.

She uncrossed her arms and walked off with her uniform.

--Seth Thomas--
God damn it!

Seth reached in the trunk and grabbed the shorts. He followed Jalie around to the front of the car and got changed. They came back around to the trunk with their clothes in hand. Although Jalie looked pretty amusing in her over-sized uniform with huge shoulders, it couldn’t take away from Seth wearing shorts that could barely contain what they were supposed to. They put their clothes in the trunk and Jalie pulled out a handgun.

--Jalie Thomas--
This could come in handy.

She skipped up the side of the car and got in. Seth closed the trunk and got back in the car. He pulled out and they drove off.

--Jalie Thomas--
So who are you up against on Sunday?

--Seth Thomas--
Shadow, Sarah Frost and Reese Benson.

--Jalie Thomas--
Uh oh.

--Seth Thomas--
What?

--Jalie Thomas--
There’s more women involved.

Jalie stuck her tongue out at him.

--Seth Thomas--
Two, actually. Sarah, who was the first Intercontinental and Hardcore champ in some fed. I don’t really care, but there was some hype about it. She claims to be the most extreme high flying diva around.

Seth looked over at Jalie with a little smirk.

--Jalie Thomas--
Is that so? I suppose she’s tried to strangle her opponent with rusty barbed wire? Or plummeted off a thirty foot high scaffold through a pile of tables? Or electrocuted someone to the point where they couldn’t function properly?

Seth slowly turned to look at Jalie. She gave him a nervous smile.

--Jalie Thomas--
Sorry.

--Seth Thomas--
I guess that’s something you’ll just have to take up with her.

--Jalie Thomas--
I just might do that. And you said there was another chick involved?

--Seth Thomas--
Yeah. Her name is Shadow. The only thing I know about her is she is a really big woman. Probably the biggest woman I have ever seen.

--Jalie Thomas--
Like, circus big?

--Seth Thomas--
Yeah. She’s seven foot, two hundred and thirty pounds.

--Jalie Thomas--
Holy fuck!

--Seth Thomas--
Yeah, my thoughts exactly. I have a hard enough time with a woman of your size, now I got one that’s bigger than I am.

--Jalie Thomas--
Good luck.

Seth made a face at Jalie.

--Seth Thomas--
And I highly doubt Resse is going to be a walk through the park either. Although he lost his match in the World title tournament doesn’t mean he plans on losing this one.

--Jalie Thomas--
That name sounds kind of familiar…

--Seth Thomas--
I think there was talk of him going to RWA while we were there. I never actually saw him there, though. And funny thing is he’s with Natalie.

--Jalie Thomas--
No shit. So you lost his girlfriend, now you have to face him. I’m sure he’s going to think highly of you.

--Seth Thomas--
Let him think what he wants. If he wants to think I’m some push-over then so be it. It wouldn’t surprise me with his attitude.

--Jalie Thomas--
There he is!

Jalie pointed out the window at Jay, who was now running across the grass. Seth turned the sirens on and took off across the grass after him. Seth slammed on the brakes and they both got out of the car. Jalie held up the pistol.

--Jalie Thomas--
Freeze, mother fucker!

Jay, unaware that Jalie had a gun, kept running. She pulled the trigger and shot Jay in the leg. He dropped and tumbled on the ground with his hands behind his back. Seth and Jalie ran up to him, pulled out their night sticks and began beating him with them. Jay screamed out as bystanders watched in awe of what was happening.

--Seth Thomas--
Rodney who!?

They finally stopped and dragged Jay back to the cop car. They threw him in he back, got in themselves and took off. Jay sat up in the back.

--Jay Dumas--
What the fuck, Lielee!

Jalie looked back at him.

--Jay Dumas--
Why did you shoot me in the leg?

--Jalie Thomas--
I told you to freeze, and you didn’t.

--Jay Dumas--
I didn’t think you had a gun. The beating I expected, but not being shot. Damn!

Seth, tired of Jay’s bitching, slammed on the brakes. Jay flew forward and slammed face-first into the steel cage separating the seats. He fell back onto the seat, unconscious. Jalie smirked at Seth as the scene faded out.

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