Parrot: Is that all you got, you slimy WETBACK!

Jay, furious, jumps out from behind the tree. He lunges at the parrot, but the parrot flies out of harms way. Jay lands in the middle of the netting, and in a matter of seconds, he is trapped in the net and dragged back into the crate where the lid slams shut. The crate rocks back and forth and mumbling from inside is heard. The parrot flies down and lands on top of it.

Parrot: Intelligent parrot, one. Under-achieved border jumper, zero.

It squawks and flies off as the scene fades out. It fades back in to what appears to be a dungeon. The scary thing is, it’s the Thomas’ basement. We start off with a wall lined with shackles followed by an array of branding irons and sharp objects. Moving along we come to a barred cell in the corner and a torture rack along another wall beside it. The next corner has what looks like a coffin leaning in it with a portrait of a young serving girl on the lid; the door slightly open with large spikes visible inside. The next wall has several shelves with random jars of acids and embalming fluid next to an old operating table equipped with straps and rusty surgical equipment. The final wall has about a dozen drawers in it, eerily resembling those found in a morgue. Finally, we come across an electrical chair in the middle of the room. Ever wonder why they don’t have many friends? The door opens and Jalie walks in, leading a blindfolded Jay.

Jay Dumas: Why do I have to be blindfolded again?

Jalie Thomas: Because, it’s a surprise.

She leads him over to the chair and pushes him into it. She begins strapping his hands down as he gets a little nervous.

Jay Dumas: Why are you tying me down?

Jalie Thomas: It’s a new ride I invented. I’m strapping you down so you won’t get hurt.

Jay Dumas: Oh, ok.

He smiles excitedly as Jalie grins evilly. She removes his blindfold and Jay freaks out when he realizes where he is.

Jay Dumas: Hey! This isn’t a ride! You lied to me!

He squirms, attempting to get out, but to no avail.

Jalie Thomas: Don’t worry, this won’t hurt... Me.

Jay looks terrified as Jalie begins to laugh. The scene cuts upstairs where we see Seth and Nick sitting at the kitchen table, Nick sporting his tightie-whities of course. There is a sudden power surge, followed by a blood curdling scream.

Hobo Nick: What the fuck!?

Seth Thomas Jalie finally got that old electric chair downstairs to work.

The doorbell rings. Seth goes to answer the door as Nick begins to make a list.

Seth Thomas: Hey.

He steps aside, allowing Cody Carson to come in.

Cody Carson: Hey. What’s up?

There’s another power surge.

Cody Carson: What the fuck was that?

Seth Thomas: Jalie got an old electric chair to work downstairs, so she’s electrocuting Jay.

Cody Carson: Man, she has some issues.

Seth Thomas: If she found out you said that, she’d be dragging your ass down there next. And you know I would help.

Seth smirks as Cody rolls his eyes and heads for the kitchen. He helps himself to a beer from the fridge as Seth sits back down at the table.

Seth Thomas: What are you doing?

Nick takes a second to answer, quickly jotting something down.

Hobo Nick: Well, you said Jalie got the chair working again. I thought I might invite some people over to try it out...

He hands the list to Seth.

Seth Thomas: Lefty Leo... Gimpy George... Seth Thomas...?

Seth looks at Nick with a raised eyebrow. Nick quickly looks away, avoiding eye contact with Seth.

Cody Carson: So when are you guys supposed to be heading up to Calgary?

Seth Thomas: Sometime next month.

He takes a sip from the mug in front of him, acting uninterested in the conversation.

Cody Carson: What for?

Cody chugs his beer as Seth effortlessly shrugs.

Seth Thomas: For the anniversary of my parents death. Doug flies in from St. Louis and him, Chris and I spend the day paying our respects and chatting about old times. Pointless, I think...

Cody Carson: Dude, it’s your parents.

Seth gets a litle offensive.

Seth Thomas: It was eight years ago. They need to accept it.

Cody Carson: Hey, don’t get bitchy with me.

Seth Thomas: I guess you shouldn’t have brought it up then.

Seth gets up and leaves the kitchen. Cody turns to Nick.

Hobo Nick: That time of the month...

Jalie comes bouncing in, clapping her hands in excitement.

Jalie Thomas: This is so much fun!

She smiles, then turns her attention to Cody.

Jalie Thomas: Hey Cody, wanna see something neat?

Cody Carson: Eh, no thanks.

Jalie looks disappointed.

Jalie Thomas: You fucking suck.

She flops down at the table and takes a drink from Seth’s mug.

Cody Carson: What’s the deal with Seth?

Jalie Thomas: What do you mean?

Cody Carson: I asked him about you guys going up to Calgary and he went anal on me.

Jalie Thomas: You asked about his parents, huh?

Cody Carson: Yeah. He got all offensive and shit.

Jalie Thomas: He’s very touchy about the subject. I asked him about it before and he started acting all weird. I dropped it, and everything seemed to go back to normal. So if you don’t want to end up downstairs, I suggest you probably leave it be.

The phone rings. Jalie gets up and grabs the cordless phone off the wall.

Jalie Thomas: Hello?

Chris Thomas: Hey J. My bro around?

Jalie Thomas: Actually, I think he left.

Chris Thomas: You know when he’ll be back?

Jalie Thomas: No clue. What’s wrong?

Chris Thomas: Well...

Sunday night I’m set to square off against Scott Royal in a sixty-minute Iron Man match. A match, I’m sure, many would like to see me lose. But, much to the dismay of those buffoons, that’s not in my plans. Sure, Royal got the upper hand on me Saturday night. But anyone can get the upper hand with the help of a lead pipe. You trying to intimidate me, Scotty?

Don’t waste your time.

Now, before I continue with you Scotty boy, there’s a couple other things I’d like to address. First off, what in your feeble little mind, Mr. Phoenix, makes you think you’re going to even make it though Avengement, let alone beat my wife. I’ve seen your kind, Phoenix. And they come a dime a dozen. The cocky ones, who have no reason to be. You defeated Alec Fleming. Congratulations. He planned on leaving in the first place. But your ignorance isn’t entirely your fault. The British Brawler is the one responsible for you. You’re obviously under him, but the problem is he’s not that much better than you are. Has it ever occurred to you that he has you around to make him feel better?

You might want to put some thought into that.

Let me give you some advice, Phoenix. Pipe down before you hurt yourself. Nobody knows my wife in the ring like I do. I’ve been beaten by her, twice if you want to get technical. That doesn’t make me any less of a man, that just shows that she’s a hell of a woman. She’s taken down guys that have struck fear into locker rooms. She knows no fear. That “fuckin’ bum hobo loser” and I aren’t the ones you need to worry about.

Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

The Infantry. They walk in and win the Tag Team titles in their first match. Impressive. I won my first major title in my debut of a federation. Keeping it is another thing. I’m not taking away from anything you two have done in the past, but it all starts over here. What you’ve done in other companies means nothing here. So be prepared to be tested. Because it’s not going to be an easy ride.

Speaking of the Tag Team titles, so sorry to hear of your loss. Sure, it changes things with our match a little, but it was worth it to see what my wife did to you. She single handedly took your tag titles away from you. And this Sunday, I’m going to take your pride.

Beam me up, Scotty!

Sorry, I got distracted. Make no mistake. Just because a shot at the gold isn’t on the line anymore doesn’t make this match any easier on you. And I’m sure you would love to get some retribution for what my wife did, and I imagine you’re going to try and take it out on me. Just don’t wear yourself out too much, Scotty. I know you’re known for your stamina, but I would guess that with what you’ve gone through this last week that you’re head won’t be on straight. So if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about winning. Just concentrate on keeping your career intact.