S E T H T H O M A S

Smoke filled the pale mooned sky. A house, one of decent size and class, was in flames. The whaling of sirens broke the silence of the night. The streets soon became flooded with fire trucks and police cars. A figure, wrapped in a bed sheet, stood across the street and stared at what was going on. Emotion seemed to lack in his eyes, as if he had no soul. Flames danced in them while the firemen desperately tried to control the flames. Several blue uniforms approached the figure, but their voices seemed deep and distorted, as if it all had been in slow motion. The figure blinked, then all seemed to have been going rather quickly, all but the figure itself. The figure closed their eyes and let out a scream. The scene switched to show Seth lying in bed in the darkened room. He abruptly sat up. His breaths were short and quick, and his forehead beamed with sweat. Jalie sat up beside him and rubbed his arm.

“Are you okay?” Jalie asked with concern. Seth looked around the room and took a moment to realize where he was.

“Yeah... I’m fine.” he mustered. “It was just a nightmare...”

“What about, honey?” she asked while she ran her fingers through his hair.

“...About the night... My parents died.” He slowly answered.

“I’ll get you glass of water.” she told him then kissed him on the cheek. She got out of bed and went into the adjoining bathroom. He lay back down and stared blankly at the ceiling. The scene faded out, then back into the kitchen the following morning. Jalie poured two cups of coffee as Seth stumbled in the kitchen and took a seat at the table. She carried the mugs over to the table and placed one in front of him.

“How are you feeling this morning, hun?” she asked while taking a seat beside him. He took a sip of his coffee then lost his gaze in it.

“Like shit.” he blurted. “I didn’t sleep the rest of the night.”

“Did you want to talk about it at all?” she asked cautiously while placing her hand on his.

“I’d rather just forget.” he stated.

“Ignoring it isn’t going to make this any better.” she told him. He let out a small sigh.

“I know...” he reluctantly admitted. “I just don’t want to get into it right now. I’m tired. We’ll talk about it some other time. I promise.”

“Okay honey.” she said with a little smile. She hoped this was the beginning of him opening up about it. She squeezed his hand, got up and made her way over to the counter.

“Do you feel like coming with me to take Jay to soccer practice?” Jalie inquired. Seth grunted.

“Eh... not really. Screaming is the last thing I need right now.” Seth said while rubbing his temples.

“The joys of children” Jalie said whilst rolling her eyes.

“Not them...” Seth uttered. “The fucking parents.” Jalie nodded understandably. The doorbell rang and Seth clutched his head.

“God damnit” he muttered between his teeth. Jalie answered the door and found Cody and Carmen standing on the other side. She stepped aside and let them in.

“Hey, did you want to come with me?” Jalie asked Carmen.

“Where to?” Carmen asked as she cocked her head to the side.

“To Jay’s soccer practice. Seth feels like shit.” she told her as she put on her boots.

“Sure. You don’t mind, do you?” she asked Cody.

“Nah. Go ahead.” he told her. “What’s wrong with Seth?”

“He didn’t sleep well last night. He had a dream about... Well...” Jalie trailed off.

“His parents?” Cody assumed. Jalie nodded. Carmen reached up and kissed Cody on the cheek and the two women disappeared through the front door. Seth came walking down the hall.

“Hey man. You don’t look too hot.” Cody told him.

“Thanks for saving the day, Captain Obvious...” Seth said sarcastically. Seth went into the living room and flopped on the couch. Cody followed, sitting in the recliner.

“So what’s up with...” Cody began.

“Keep it down!” Seth interrupted, grabbing at his head.

“Sorry.” Cody said in a lower tone. “So what’s up with...” Cody was again interrupted, but this time by the doorbell. “I’ll get it.” Cody offered, watching as Seth grinded his teeth from the noise. He answered the door and found none other than Gunther Boohiney stood there.

“Hello.” Gunther started. “I am Gunther Boohiney; Reporter Extraordinaire! May I talk to Mr. Thomas please?” Cody stared at him like he was an idiot, then turned towards the living room.

“It’s that creepy reporter guy. He wants to talk to you.” Cody shouted in.

“Go away.” Seth shot back.

“Go away” Cody told Gunther.

“Do you realize who I am?” Gunther protested.

“Do you realize who he is?” Cody asked, playing along.

“I don’t give a fuck...” Seth bellowed.

“He doesn’t give a fuck...” Cody stated. Gunther looked a little more determined.

“Mr. Thomas, it would be highly beneficial for you if you were to be interviewed by someone with a reputation as myself.” Gunther spouted.

“He really wants an interview.” Cody hollered.

“Shut the fucking door” Seth finally yelled. Cody turned to Gunther and shut the door. He went back in the living room and sat in the recliner again.

“So, what’s up with...” Cody started once again. Seth rolled his eyes as the scene faded to black momentarily, then came back inside The Thomas‘ Escalade.

“So, why exactly did you enroll in this...Santa training camp? Seth asked Nick, looking through the rear-view mirror.

“To bring joy to all the little children...” Nick replied. Everybody laughed, except Jay, who was seated in the very back. He seemed fascinated with his Etch-A-Sketch.

“Honestly, what’s so difficult about being fat and wearing a red suit? If kids get out of line, tell them they’re not getting anything for Christmas and watch them cry. In fact, why not do that anyways...? Jalie retorted, grinning.

“Look everyone!” Jay yelled. “I made boobies!” Jay holds up the toy for everybody to see.

“Hold on...” Seth mumbled. Jalie and Nick put their hands up in front of them and Seth slammed on the breaks. Jay, who wasn’t wearing his seatbelt, slammed face first into the seat ahead of him. He fell and laid motionless on the floor. The three were silent until they pulled into the parking lot of the camp. They got out, minus Jay, and Nick heads towards the main office. Seth and Jalie drift off towards the field, where a combat course is set up.

“What the fuck...?” Seth uttered. “Since when did Santa require military training?

“Are we even in the right place...?” Jalie asked. In the distance, several dozen red suits jogged onto the field.

“Ain’t that some shit...” Seth said in disbelief. The men all lined up in a straight line as the drill instructor, appropriately dressed as Mrs. Claus, approached them.

“Okay you fat bastards, here’s the deal. This is the first part of the training, the assault course. Those of you who survive will make it to tomorrow’s training. Those who don’t, God bless.”

“Goddess...” Jalie mumbled to herself.

“It’s pretty bad when they’re training Santa to fight terrorists. Are we honestly that desperate for help...?” Seth said in disgust.

Mrs. Claus blew her whistle and the men all took off. Nick tripped one of the other Santa’s and caused a pileup. All but one other Santa got caught up in it. An abundance of cursing was heard from the pile as the other two kept running. Jay, who finally gained conciseness, slowly walked up beside Seth.

“What’s going on?” he asked while rubbing his face.

“Santa is killing Santa...” Seth told him.

“But... I thought there was only one Santa?” Jay asked again.

“Do you honestly expect one fat guy to deliver presents to everyone...?” Jalie shot at him.

Nick and the other Santa approached a rock climbing wall. Nick made it to the top first, then stomped on the others hand as he attempted to pull himself up. Nick climbed down the other side an made his way over to the pile of AK-47’s.

“Why does Santa have a gun?” Jay asked with concern.

“Guess what he does with the bad children...?” Seth retorted. Nick picked up a gun in each hand and mowed down the other Santa’s. Jay looked on in horror.

“Have you been good, Jay?” Seth leaned in close to Jay and asked. Jay screamed and ran towards the vehicle. Nick made his way to the end of the course and started to celebrate by stripping down and running around naked. Seth and Jalie quickly turned away from the horrifying sight and the scene faded out.


Hello, Jarvis.

You‘re still fascinated with my wife, eh? You‘re not the only guy to fantasize about her. There‘s been a lot of people. Ask Heed. As for my wife‘s performance behind closed doors, that is none of your business. Although I assume you‘ve never heard of our basement since you posed the question. And it seems as though you like to watch. Taking an interest in mine and my wife’s sex life? Why else would you be questioning our antics in the bedroom? To each there own, I suppose.

Peeping Jarvis!

Glad you finally figured out that Jax and Powers were dead weight. We all knew it a long time ago. Why exactly did you pick them, Jarvis? Did they just suddenly start to suck, or were they the same when you picked them up? You obviously have a poor judgment of character. And when they failed to do their job, which I imagine was an attempt to make you look a little better, you just drop them. No helping, no advice. Some mentor you are. And dude, I don‘t know about you but I‘d be a little uncomfortable with someone else wiping my ass, let alone another guy. Please don‘t tell me that was part of the initiation...

Poor guys.

And as a matter of fact, we are pretty proud of our actions last week. It was quite enjoyable. Are you going for the whole “pity“ factor? Telling everyone how you cleanly beat Dynamite then we ambushed you. Are they supposed to feel sorry for you? Boo hoo. Go ahead, cry about it. And to answer your question, yes, I do think I can beat you on-on-one. Because we choose to outnumber our opponents means nothing when it comes to our individual performance. We just honestly enjoy beating people senseless. And as I told Heed last week, I highly doubt this is going to end up one-on-one. Though cliche, strength lies in numbers. And we intend to use them to our advantage. Why not take the easy road? Fuck honour.

It gets you nothing.

Tell me, jackass, how are you going to get in my head? Eh? The master of mind games are you? I‘m so scared. Look at me, I’m shaking in my itty bitty booties. Wait, what‘s that!? Boy do you have me looking over my shoulder. Listen to yourself. Do you not notice how much of an ass you make yourself sound like? Telling me you‘re going to get inside my head? You don‘t tell me you‘re going to do it. You just do it. Fucking amateur. You say you‘ve been in the business for, what, seventeen years? It shows. So, are you going to hit me in all directions like we did to you last week? And since when did you become all biblical. You‘re going to make me pay for my sins? I highly doubt that, you know nothing of what I‘ve done. Nor what I‘m capable of. There‘s no way you‘re leaving with either title around your waist. Though I care nothing of the Primetime title, I think of it more of a slap in the face to you. Taking what little you have left. Tomorrow night, Wicked Intentions will have your number.



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[Record]
Singles: 3/0/1
Tag Team: 1/0/0
Overall: 4/0/1
Career: 25/9/2

[Used/Mentioned]
-Used-
Jalie Thomas
Cody Carson
Hobo Nick

-Mentioned-
Lawrence Jarvis

[Achievements]
-Main Events-
1

-PPV Appearances/Main Events-
1/0

-EWO Championships-
N/A

-EWO Achievements-
N/A

-Career Championships-
RWA Heavyweight Champion
RWA Television Champion
RWA Tag Team Champion [x2]

-Career Achievements-
RWA Rookie of the Month-Nov/02
RWA Champion of the Month-Nov/02

[Defeated/Lost To]
-Defeated-
Andrew Powers
Chris Heed
Czecher
David Jax
Lawerence Jarvis
Scott Royal
-
-Lost To-
N/A
-
-Tied-
Scott Royal