Date: Friday, February 9th
Time: 1:14PM
Location: Thomas Residence

"Ninety-nine bottle of beer on the wall... Ninety-nine bottles of here..."

Seth walked into the living room to find Jalie on her back staring up at the ceiling fan. He tilted his head as he noticed the three bottles of rum, two bottles of tequila and a partridge in a pair tree. "The alcohol is understandable but where the fuck did you get that partridge and why is it in a tree?" Seth questioned his highly intoxicated wife. She apparently found his question hilarious because she went into a fit of giggles. This carried on for several minutes until she began gasping for air, then continued giggling as she tried to speak.

"You'd be surprised what you find when you raid your neighbour’s liquor cabinet, " she said without taking her eyes off the fan.

"That still doesn't explain the bird," Seth reminded her. She raised herself to her elbows and looked in the same direction Seth was.

"What fucking bird?" She asked, looking at him as though he was the one that had been drinking. Deciding not to argue with her he just shrugged it off and left the room. Upon entering the kitchen he found Nick sitting at the table reading a torn and yellowish looking newspaper, but that wasn't what caught his immediate attention. Sitting on the sill outside the kitchen window were two doves. He gave his head a shake and looked out the window once again but this time they were no longer there.

"I could've sworn there were two doves sitting outside the window," Seth stated.

"I could've sworn that you were an asshole," Nick said from behind his newspaper.

"At least that isn't far fetched," Seth sneered. He walked over to the fridge and when he opened the door, to his surprise, three live hens fell out at his feet and waddled out of the kitchen. "Did you put three hens in the fridge?" He asked, turning to Nick.

"You keep telling me to put food in the refrigerator so I thought I'd do it so you would quit your bitching," snapped Nick.

"Not when it's still alive!" Seth roared. As he shook his head Mandy Moore's voice was heard singing from inside his pants. Seth's eyes went wide and Nick tilted his head back with a very disturbed look on his face. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his phone while mumbling something about Cody. "Four birds?" He read from the display.

"I'm not here," Nick automatically called out. Thoroughly confused, Seth put the phone back in his pocket.

"What the fuck is going on today?" He wondered aloud.

"Apparently we landed on the moon or some shit," enlightened Nick. Seth strained to look at the date on the paper, which was when he noticed the rings Nick had on his hand.

"Where did you get those rings?" Seth questioned. Nick momentarily turned his attention from the paper to his left hand where he had a gold ring on each finger and his thumb.

"Geese." Nick replied and went back to his paper.

"Excuse me?" Seth tilted his head. Annoyed, Nick slammed the paper down onto the table.

"There are six God damned Geese in the backyard. They all shit one out except the last one, that's why it's in the oven," shouted Nick. Seth looked over to the oven and saw that it wasn't turned on.

"It's not even turned on," he noted.

"Put food in the fridge, Nick. Cook food in the oven, Nick. There's just no pleasing you, is there!?" Nick bellowed then snatched the paper off the table and stormed out of the kitchen. Not even remembering why he came into the kitchen Seth left to investigate the backyard. He didn’t find the geese that Nick spoke of. Instead he gazed upon six swans swimming around in a kiddie pool and began to count.

"One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Ouch!" Seth yelped as he grabbed his ass. He turned around and saw a seventh swan and kicked at it as it waddled off to the pool but failed and fell on his ass. He cursed as he picked himself up and walked over to the fence separating their yard from Cody and Carmen's. He shouted for Cody as he stepped up on an empty bucket and peered over the fence. What he saw both baffled and horrified him. The disturbing part was Carmen dressed up like a milk maid apparently milking Cody; the baffling part was that there were eight of her. He lost his balance and fell off the bucket, hitting his head against the wooden fence. What he expected to be little blue birdies flying around his head when he opened his eyes turned out to be nine ladies dancing. Giving his head a shake he got up off the ground again and headed for the front yard. Once he reached the square patch of dirt he stopped in his tracks.

"Jesus..."

Literally. He tried rubbing his eyes but there was no getting around it; out in the middle of the road he saw ten Jesus' playing jump rope. He walked out to the sidewalk and one of them approached him.

"Hey man..." Jesus greeted.

"What are you doing?" Seth questioned.

"We're playing a game of Double Dutch, care to jump in?" Jesus offered, pointing to the others.

"That's alright," replied Seth. "But that wasn't what I was talking about," he said as he tapped the pipe hanging from Jesus' mouth.

"Oh, that. What do you want from me?"

Jesus sounded a little aggressive. As he ranted on Seth wasn't paying him any attention. Instead, he counted how many other Jesus' there were. He came to a sudden realization and interrupted Jesus.

"Shouldn't there be another one of you?"

With a snap of his fingers another Jesus appeared next to him, pipe and all.

"Are you happy now? Don't judge me, motherfucker!" Jesus shouted as he and his replica re-joined the rest of the group. A little taken aback from Jesus calling him a 'motherfucker' he turned around to another odd sight. Twelve marching bands marched down the road. As they reached where Seth and the band of Jesus' were the sole drummer from each group broke off and lined up behind Seth. At this point everybody Seth had encountered today made their way out to the street, followed closely by Jalie who stumbled after them holding the pear tree Seth saw earlier. Once in formation they all raise their arms and shout.

"And a partridge in a pair tree!"

[earlier that day...]

Nick came running out of the spare bedroom in his tightie-whities and into the front hallway where he ran into Seth.

"Where the hell have you been?" Seth asked. This was the first time Nick had been seen for almost a week.

"Making this. Here, take it," Nick said as he held out his hand. In his palm he held a little green pill. Seth picked up the tiny round tablet and looked it over.

"What does it do?" He asked.

"It makes it Christmas," Nick said in a mysterious voice.

"No way..."

--------------------------------

A lot of people have already made up their minds about Sunday night. The so-called "insiders" who believe they know what's going to happen before we do just can't wait to post on their blogs about. They over-analyze everything that we do and try to turn it into some kind of reasoning behind recent rumours. Everybody knows that from the first moment the card for Resurrection was posted the first and only name they saw was Seth Dryden. Then for some reason people start posting everywhere that they know the tournament is fixed and that Nathan Gust is going to win it all. Unless Mr. Gust came back from the future to secretly spread what he already knew was the outcome, it's all bullshit.

Bullshit.

All they want is attention. To feel superior to everybody else by having 'confidential' information that they got from their 'sources'. Come to think if it, quite a few people around here seem to have a superiority complex; Bob Dole being the most obvious example spanning right the way over to Carson. I remember there was a time where in one match we had our 'God', our 'Saviour', and our 'God and Saviour'. Go ahead and laugh, it's in the books. Rarely do you find people that actually sit back and take a look around rather than claiming everybody is beneath them 'because I say so". That is why I personally feel this whole tournament will ultimately come down to Dryden and me. Rey Sueno has apparently become nothing more than a bad dream while Bob Dole continues to wonder around wiping his ass with money, oblivious to his surroundings. Lance has Allister believing his own hype and Skitzo has just plain fucked off. Nirvana is currently mind-fucking himself, Gust went and jumped off the deep end, and Cody is trying to suppress his blossoming superiority complex with poor use of the English language. Since Cody seems to be the only one with any sort of focus I imagine he'll be the third participant in the main event.

Albeit stranger things have happened.

I don't think it'll make much of a difference either way. Cody has never beaten either of us in a RWA ring, so putting him in there with the both of us is definitely putting the odds against him. Then again, he's been playing against the odds his entire career. Maybe he, or whoever may make it there, will be able pull the wool over everybody's eyes and walk away the Universal champion. Again, the odds aren't very good. My eyes are set on Dryden, I won't deny it. From day one my eyes have hovered around his name because I knew in the very near future we would find ourselves in the same ring. I love competition and I know Dryden will provide it. The last three years I've been driving in second gear; enough to get me by. Sunday night I'm going kick it up and prove my worth.

Welcome home.