Daniel Jacobson
 

Does it ever make anyone wonder what is going through people’s heads when the Creator sends you a vision like that? It seemed like it lasted for days on end and as far as I knew it was almost like watching my own death. Hell it was vivid and most definitely not serene. You know it was like one of those horror flicks that just seems so real and if you were to walk around your house, you’d be sure to check around every corner for that one big bad guy but he never comes. He just stands there waiting for the perfect moment to strike, but then sleep hits and you’re out like a light. I’ve heard things like this before being described to me, but I never thought for one moment that I would experience anything like that in my life. Thank the Creator I’m safe. You all know what happened. You’ve seen the story and the headlines of that blown up asylum as the proposed voice in my head kept repeating to itself that I had to kill to enjoy my life. You know what I say to that? Go to hell. There isn’t one day that goes by I thank the Creator for waking me up when he did. Those horrid, horrid visions still haunt me to this day and the last thing I remember was that bullet coming my way as my eyes started to bulge out of my head. That was a creepy feeling just to wake up and realize that you’re not going to die.

Why am I going on like this you ask? Well, I’ve come to realize that things come in full circle and if you don’t believe me you can ask Shannon. Ah, but you can’t. She has met her death some years ago. In all that time, I thought I’d never meet another human being that was like her. She was so gorgeous. She looked like a vivacious vixen from heaven. If the Creator had let her, she could have had wings down here on Earth. She was every man’s dream girl. Her skin was soft like the wind that blows through your hair. Her hair had volume that I’ve never seen before. It flowed like a river bed in the morning sun just as you woke up and the sun shone on it like a glassy veil. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever met.


The flashback:


The day I met Shannon, I was taken aback by how she moved. Her body could easily be mistaken for a ballerina’s or a tap dancer. I was dancing in the circle when I noticed her. I was in my eagle feather bustle and my roach had one single feather in it. As I can recall it was a red tail hawk feather. My ribbon shirt was golden and my breech cloth had the picture of a whispering willow. As I danced, my body moved like the grass and I was in time with the beat of the drum and the singers moved my heart. I stopped as she had her camera pointed at me. Normally I wouldn’t let this happen, but for her beauty I’d do anything. I halted in mid-step and stood their rooted to the ground. While the trees swayed back and forth with the wind, my regalia moved with it.

For what seemed like several hours and my heart racing, the camera finally snapped and the light emitted from the flash. After said picture was taken, I made my way over with a smile on my face and a beat in my step. The music was still playing; the singers were still singing and my heart was racing to the beat of the drum. Boom, boom, boom went the drum and the players voices were ever so high. It was a beautiful addition to what was about to transpire as those few steps took place.

“Hello,” I said to her as I found myself looking upon the beauty.

“Um, hi” she hesitated not really sure what to think.

“You’re the one who took the picture of me aren’t you?”

“Yes, that’s me. I’m Shannon. You are?”

“Oh, do forgive me. I’m Daniel….Daniel Jacobson. It’s a pleasure. You enjoying what you see? It’s not often I find myself at a pow-wow. I mean with my schedule and all.”

She grimaced. I was sure she never really held a schedule or anything, but it didn’t matter. The only thing that concerned me was the fact that I had to get her in the circle dancing. She seemed to me to be out of place so I took it upon myself to extend my hand out and bring her in. She was standing at the Eastern most part of the circle where life begins, and this felt like the beginning of something new and beautiful. I couldn’t wait for what happened next.

With my hand in hers I led her into the dance arena, I taught her how to move gracefully like the women traditional dancer. She caught on quick and before I knew it she was off on her own laughing like a child who had just gotten their first bicycle and learning expediently. I was proud of her, and I only just met her. It made no difference to me as a lesson well learned is a good one. We danced until sunset and the Emcee’s voice came over the microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time to retire the colors for the night. Let us go to the host drum for the song,” her voice rang from the microphone like a timeless classic. I led Shannon to an area which I though would be secluded. I was wrong as people gathered there quickly. I shrugged and asked her politely not to take any pictures as it’s part of my teachings not to take pictures of the eagle staffs or the closing song for the day. She put her camera back into its bag and watched the events unfold as the singers began their song. This used to be my favorite part of the pow wow where one would start winding down for the night. This is when you had the time to socialize with your friends and have more time with family. A pow wow was really a social time of course, but tonight, I did not care about any of that as my focus was on her.

The song ended and the colors were danced out of the Circle. I sauntered over towards Shannon and for once, my worries escaped my mind and the excess baggage that I seemed to carry retired. I prayed secretly to the Creator that it was permanently, but I knew that it was not to be the case. I laid my eyes upon her once again and took my hand in hers leading back to my camp site. As I took my hand in hers, I made a mental note to myself about her softness and it intrigued me because I have never felt a touch as soft as that. She was the only woman I have ever truly fell in love with, and with her death I am left to search for the so called right one, and it was taking a life time.

Present Day:

I pulled myself back to present day. I was still at home. My memory banks seemed to flood with the recollection of the beauty of Shannon. As I looked around the house, I realized that there were a multitude of pictures of her around. She was dressed in street clothes in some, and her dance outfit in the other. It brought a small tear to my eye and I realized that it was time to put those pictures away. I made my way down to the basement where some extra boxes were and just as I was about to put my hand on the knob and turn it there was a knock on my door. My head turned swiftly towards the front door and I absolved as quickly as I could towards it and I turned the knob. I was surprised to see who was on the other side. It was that therapist….Victoria Gem.

“Hello Daniel,” she said to me, “Mind if I come in?”

“Um, sure, I was about to do something, but I can make the time,” I hesitated.

She came over the threshold of the door and kicked off her shoes. Her eyes darted from the kitchen to the living room as if she was inspecting the place. When she decided that it was it looked decent in her eyes she came into the place fully. I sighed and couldn’t bring myself to actually believe that she was here at my house. Luckily for me, Aj and Fierce were gone for the night and I had some time to myself.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Well, I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d come and visit,” she lied. I knew it was a lie by the look in her eyes and the way her body seemed to tense up. I studied her closely and saw that there was actually sweat protruding from her brow. She looked like she was taking a shower as those beads poured from the head. I brought my right hand up to her forehead and wiped the sweat away and smiled.

“Come in, come in,” I said, “There must be a reason for you to come here. It can’t be just a visit. What’s wrong Vickie?” I asked.

She just looked at me with surprise. It seemed as if no one had called her Vickie before, and had always referred to her as Victoria. She shrugged and continued.

“Well,” she let out a deep breath, “I came here to tell you something. You probably won’t like what I have to tell you, but you’re going to have to sooner or later.”

“Come on, out with it then,” I replied steadily growing impatient.

“Since our appointments and that night at the Walking Inn Restaurant, I began to develop something for you Daniel. It was something I thought to never be possible. Daniel, I….I….I’m falling in love with you. I know that you don’t want to hear it. What with your feelings for your lover who passed away, but I had to get it out.”

It was definitely a revelation. I about fainted from the news, but I couldn’t help just stare at her in the face. Was this the Creator’s way of telling me to forget about the past? I hope so as I grew weary of it. I began to walk away and to the sage bowl in the kitchen. I took a match to it and it sparked. The smell went up my nostril and I felt my body being cleansed. I used my hands to bring the smoke towards my face and into my hair. I started to relax and my focus came back into play. The words still lingered in my head. She was actually falling in love with me! Now something like this wouldn’t be too bad, but for one thing.

I discharged myself from the sage and put it out. The mind was once again put back into focus and I was ready to let the knowledge that Victoria gave me swirl around inside my head for a few moments. I made my way back over to the door and bade her to come in. She did so and sat down on my couch and I sat down in the recliner that was perpendicular to it. Nothing was said as we just stared at each other. I was holding myself back from telling her my true feelings as I was not ready to give into them just yet.