HADES: ONE

Story Mode:
"Demon Gamer"

When we last left our brave trio of heroes they were face to face with all of man’s sins.  One by one they lined up to take an evil peek at the three dead men that don’t belong.  The eyes still haven’t left the shadows and by now probably never will.  Suddenly the ground beneath Shane, Dare, and DEATHMACHINE begins to quake.  Suddenly it juts straight up growing multiple stories in height in mere seconds.  It stops abruptly and DEATHMACHINE lands on his ass.  Dare and Shane both stay up right.

“Till sent you fools here?”

The deep voice comes a man behind a desk.  The back of his throne like chair is lined in human flesh.  Faces, still moving, scream out for help.

“Ok so I liked Lady Thirteen like fifty billion times more than this.”  DEATHMACHINE admits.

“He’s got a point.”  Dare agrees.

“Duly noted.”  Shane steps up to the edge of the rock pillar and looks down.  Heat and the pained screams of millions blow his hair back.  Shane looks up at the chair as it spins around.

“Nirvana?”  Shane blinks.

“Ah yes.  The state that best suits me.”  Devil Nirvana smiles, “I don’t have any of you on my lists.”  Devil Nirvana sets his white bone clip board down and drums his nails on his desk.  “What do I do with you?”

“Let us go?”  DEATHMACHINE asks, “That sounds reasonable.”

Devil Nirvana flicks his wrist and suddenly DEATHMACHINE is in a diaper and nothing else but his mask.  DEATHMACHINE pulls the pacifier out of his mouth and goes to say something more but Dare quickly jams the pacifier back into his mouth.

“The big guy has a point.  But what about some kind of…Deal?”  Shane smirks.

“You wish to make a deal with the Devil?  You certainly are a stupid one.”  Devil Nirvana flicks through a large book with his long black fingernails until he meets the right page, he scrolls down with his fingernail and stops.  “Yes, Shane Lee Clemmens, dies at eighty five.  Grandfather of five.”  Devil Nirvana looks up at Shane, “Am I reading this right?”

Shane blushes, and holds up five fingers behind his back to Dare.

“I sure as shit hope so.”  Shane swallows.

“Alright superman, what is your proposal?”  Devil Nirvana asks.

“A contest.”  Shane says.

A fiddle appears at Shane’s feet.  Shane shakes his head.

“Not….  That… Kind…”  Shane mutters.

“Kidding.”  Devil Nirvana shows his teeth—they’re fangs, “Continue.”

DEATHMACHINE pulls the pacifier out of his mouth, “Video games!”

“Oh ho ho.”  Devil Nirvana sits up in his chair, “I love video games.”

Devil Nirvana flicks his wrist and a huge HD TV lowers down.  Devil Nirvana pulls out an over sized, jet black Wiimote.

“I was in the middle of a great game.”  He snickers.

“What game?”  DEATHMACHINE asks,

“Whack-a-Rayn.”  Devil Nirvana smiles.

He unpauses the game and in the middle is one hole open on a whack a mole board which Rayn pops out of intermittently.  Devil Nirvana relishes each time he swings the Wiimote and bashes Rayn’s face in.  Each time Rayn comes up he’s crying harder.

“It’s an excellent stress reliever.”  Devil Nirvana cackles.

“Cooool.  I wanna play.”  DEATHMACHINE says.

“Wait just a second!”  Shane interjects, “I don’t play video games.  I was thinking more like, Jenga.”

Dare, DEATHMACHINE, and Devil Nirvana all look at Shane at the same time and ask, “Who the hell plays Jenga?”

Shane shrugs, “It’s fun.”

“No!  I’ll take you on.  Nobody beats me at Wii Bowling.”  DEATHMACHINE growls.

Devil Nirvana grins, “I’ve never lost.”

“Fuck.”  Shane says under his breath.

Dare takes Shane to the side, “I think he can do this.”

“We’re fucked dude.”  Shane says.

“No.  There’s something you should know about DEATHMACHINE.”  Dare whispers.

“What that it’s really Brick?”  Shane asks, laughing.

“What?  How the hell did you know?”  Dare winks, “All I know is that when Brick isn’t DEATHMACHINE he’s better known as BOWLINGMACHINE.  The guy is a trip.”

“It’s true.”  DEATHMACHINE adds, “Not about me being Brick, the part about me—him being good at Bowling.  He…  Uh…  Taught me.”

“Of course he did.”  Shane says.

“Are we going to play or are you fools going to talk about masonry all day?”  Devil Nirvana growls.  His eyes turn red.  “Let’s get to this.”

A Wiimote appears in DEATHMACHINE’s hand.  He squints his eyes at Devil Nirvana and motions for him to bring it on.

“I’mma mess me a Devil up!”  DEATHMACHINE shouts.

“Pish posh, press the A and B buttons retard.”  Devil Nirvana sighs.

Rant Mode:
"I call shenanigans"

I'm not going to claim I know everything about this sport because I don't.  I do well somtimes and other times I don't.  No one is perfect.  Take Rayn for example.  He had big dreams and look where it got him.  He decided one night he knew better about this sport than anyone else and where did that get him?  Yeah.  2-3.  I can't remember the last time my losses outweighed my wins.  Maybe it's because it never happened?  Ha.  Look.  What I'm getting at here is that none of us make the rules, we're all bound by them.  You can only go as high as this sport will let you.  Eventually it all comes back to get you.  Rayn is the best example of dropping the ball.  Stuck up.

I worry about this when I look at you Shawn Walsh.  You are so use to having everything dished up and served to you.  You are use to being the number one guy.  I'm not saying you didn't earn it, don't get me wrong.  You did.  See what's going on here is that you think you've got this sport by the short hairs and you feel entitled.  You think you deserve it.  You're a king waiting to be crowned.  Still, in all of this, you've marginalized me.  You've reasoned your way out of every time you've been bested by The Dirty Dog and No Cash Value.  You point out everything that makes No Cash Value unique and try to apply a negative stigma.  When are you going to realize you're merely making stabs in the dark?  You don't understand us motherfucker, and you never will.

We're not going to delve into Superiority Complex.  Nor are we going to bring up up No Cash Value anymore.  This is about Shane Clemmens, Shawn Walsh, and the Fight One Universal Championship.  This is the big one.  The one for all the marbles.  So big that I would expect more out of a number one contender than the same insults he's been slinging at everyone else for ages.  Your game is all played out Shawn Walsh and half your best fucking ideas were stolen from me.  Give it a rest chap.  Please, believe it or not there are people out there still that come to see Shawn Walsh, not Shawn Walsh trying to be Shane Clemmens.

You know I really have to say Shawn, now that I've got your attention, It's good to know you're going to be there Sunday night.  I feel like this has been a long time coming and I'm looking forward to bringing you to your knees.  It's time for the banter to end.  Now is the time for action.  Action buddy, you can't handle.  Nah.  You're going to walk into Northern Xposure ready.  You're going to have that big chip on your shoulder that's been gaining weight since the inception of this promotion.  I'm the one with the balls to walk right up to you and knock that chip right off.

Some of the best nights of my life have been spent without words.  Ask Ladies one through fifteen.  They know the kind of love I'm talking about.  Kudos for them for taking it.  You though Shawn, you're getting a whole new kind of love.  A bromance of sorts friends.  I'm devoting it to you.  Our match.  It's going to be for you.  You're going to get all the Dirty Dog love you deserve.

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