We're getting so close to the end.
Shawn and I. One more night.
All the questions will be answered.
At Northern Xposure it ends.
For good or for bad.
Shawn Walsh will never forget the night.
The night we shot the moon.
The night we came together.
The night we came together to save
this ring.
Fight One Xperience.
We're about to come full circle.
For good or for ill.
I am your constant protector.
Ok. Let's do this.
HADES: TWO
The Shane Clemmens Show
"Disregard and who the hell sent Hwang?"
When we last left our heroes they were in various stages of fucked up. Shane and Dare found themselves with their souls at the mercy of Devil Nirvana and DEATHMACHINE’s Wii Bowling match up. It wasn’t good. Infact it was bad.
“I’d a had you! I’d a had you!” DEATHMACHINE throws the wiimote at the big tv. It bounces off and cracks him right over the head, “Oww!”
“That wasn’t very fair, subbing Hwang in there!” Dare adds.
Devil Nirvana pats the head of the fat asian kid that just murdered DEATHMACHINE at Wii Bowling and smiles, “Who ever said anything about fair? Who do you think I am? God?” Devil Nirvana leans back on his desk and smile at the three men.
DEATHMACHINE is now leaning against Dare, his arm nearly numb from the thirty game losing streak he just endured. Shane’s so bored he’s about to cry.
“What to do with you.” Devil Nirvana scratches his chin. “Ok, I tell you what, since you boys were good sports, I’ll let two of you go back but one of you has to stay.”
“I’ll stay.” Shane steps up.
“Don’t listen to him, I’ll stay.” Dare adds.
“Sounds like either way, I’m out of here.” DEATHMACHINE smiles.
“No.” Devil Nirvana promptly shakes his head, “I think I’ll keep the masked one.”
DEATHMACHINE quickly pulls his mask off and sticks it on Shane’s head.
“Suck to be you dude.” Brick laughs.
Shane rips the mask off his head and looks about ready to start swinging. “I don’t want to even begin to explain how disgusting this thing felt on my face.”
“I run hot.” Brick shrugs and turns to Devil Nirvana, “Say Devil, how about we make a deal. You take both these guys, and I’ll go.”
“No.” Devil Nirvana’s tone grows serious, “No more deals. By all rights I can keep you all for myself, Hwang needs friends. And no one else claims you.”
Hwang waves and then flips off Brick.
Brick frowns.
“He doesn’t have to be so rude.” Brick says.
“You’re right. Bad Hwang.” Devil Nirvana kicks the kid off the cliff in front of his desk, “Ok, where was I.” Devil Nirvana points directly at Dare. “You. Suicide. You stay.”
“What?” Dare turns to Shane, “what’s he talking about?”
“You offed yourself bro.” Brick interjects.
“What?!” Dare turns to Devil Nirvana, “I didn’t.”
“Pish posh, whether you or Till slashed your wrists is of no importance. You are close enough to a sinner to keep.” Devil Nirvana smiles, “These other two. One claims to be dirty but runs clean and the other, well he doesn’t have a brain.”
“Am not Dirty!” Brick says.
Shane smacks the taste out of Brick’s mouth!
“He was talking about ME! Obviously. Goll.” Shane looks Devil Nirvana right in the eye. “I’m not letting you keep him.” Shane leaps across the void and goes face to face with Devil Nirvana. “But I tell you what. Oh my god what is that?!” Shane points and Devil Nirvana turns around.
Shane shoves Devil Nirvana off the cliff! Shane rushes over to Devil Nirvana’s desk and flips it over. Beneath it is a manhole cover.
“Guys! Over here!” Shane yells.
Dare clears the void but Brick doesn’t. Brick falls but Dare catches him!
“Shane! A little help!” Dare hollers.
Shane leaps forward and grabs Brick by whatever he can, in this case, his head. Shane and Dare pull with all their might as Brick kicks his feet. Suddenly Devil Nirvana, now in the form of a mighty serpent rises up before them.
“Now that’s no way to be.” Devil Nirvana hisses.
“Oh shit.” Shane mutters, giving Brick a good tug up onto the edge.
“I think you popped my neck. Yeah, feels good.” Brick says.
“Hey, what are you doing?” Devil Nirvana asks.
“Escaping sucka!” Shane giggles as he throws open the man hole cover, Shane laughs to himself, “Man-hole.”
Shane makes sure Dare and Brick are in before Devil Nirvana comes in close, lunging. Shane ducks the charge but Devil Nirvana blocks the manhole. Shane leaps onto the back of Devil Nirvana and covers his eyes.
“Blind now mu fucka!” Shane yells.
“Hey! Asshole!” Devil Nirvana hisses. He rears his head back and flings Shane up against the desk. Devil Nirvana comes back at him with a roar but Shane slips into the darkness of the manhole, sliding the cover over it as he goes. “Damnit.”
Devil Nirvana changes back to his original form and looks at the mess of his tipped over desk.
“Well that was rude.” Devil Nirvana frowns. “Eh, they’ll all be back.” He grins.