You're both squabbling
For the love of a Title.
Seperating your stable.
For the love of Gold.

You assume this is all about you.
I assure you, it is not.
This is more than Titles.
This is more than Main Events.

This is bigger than Fight One.
This is bigger than Glory
Bigger than Pride.
Bigger than The Infamous.

Yes.
It's bigger than No Cash Value.

One match will not change anything.
This transformation has begun.
And it cannot end.

It can only get Deeper.

Don't believe the things you see
On the Television.
;)

____________________

DIRTY AMERICAN HERO
"Eskimo Kiss."

I close my eyes and there’s only one place I want to go. It reoccurs constantly… It lives right here on earth—far from a fantasy… Sadly the only way I’ve seen it lately is in my own mind’s eye. This place is my Eden. Alone and quiet in the arms of Bronwen—millions of miles away from ring ropes and title belts. Millions of miles away from everything.

Alaska…

Three weeks ago…

We’d just gotten married. We were on our short honeymoon between events. The life of a wrestler. Ha. We skated away claiming “burn out and injuries” just so we could mute the world and enjoy each other. Some moments stay with you.

“Listen here girly, you’re going snowmachining with me whether you like it or not.” I demanded.

Bronwen was in a huff, not really wanting to go outside. She’d had it with the cold and wouldn’t even cooperate so I could bundle her up. We’d already gotten her into the snow pants with a fight but she was pulling herself out of her jacket while I was jamming a stocking cap down on her head.

“It’s too hot! I’m sweaty!” She laughed.

I pulled the cap down over her eyes and leaned forward to kiss her softly on the lips. She smirked and spoke, breathing into my mouth, “Ok this isn’t bad.” She laughed, pecking me back, “But how do I see to steer that silly thing?”

“Oh you can leave that up to me.” I laughed.

“Oh so you’re going to make me ride bitch?” She laughed back.

I zip the coat up and pull the band of her stocking cap up. Our eyes lock.

“Only if you want to baby. I figured we could race but if a big ole Snowmachine scares lil ole Bron too much I understand. They’re intimidating lime green cowlings.”

“Bah to that!” Bronwen pushed past me, “Lemme at it.”

I smacked her ass as she pushed past me and she laughed—like girls do when you’re picking on them but they like it.

“Ass.” She went to the door, “Shall we?”

“No! Let’s not forget about the helmet.” I said.

“Helmet? Dude. Lame.” She slammed her head into the door, “Thick as a rock, I’ll be fine.”

“Better safe than sorry.” I produced the pinkest bullshit helmet I could find at the Snowmachine shop and walked at her.

“Get that thing away from me!” Bronwen said, holding up her arm to it like Frankenstein would to fire wielding village people.

“No.” I busted a gut laughing, “Seriously, wear it.”

“No!” She snorted.

“I’m serious, c’mon, wear it.” I laughed harder.

“Goddamnit.” She sighed, pulling off her stocking cap.

I jammed the helmet down on her head, pushing most of her hair down in front of her face. I stumbled back laughing as she shook her big ridiculous pink head.

“Oh yeah, I can see just fine.” She says, pulling her hair out of her face.

“Don’t forget the goggles!” I ran back to my back and pulled out some gay assed green goggles and turned to her, “These are sooo pimp. All the cool kids are wearing them.”

“Noooo.” She smacked them out of my hand and also sent the glove on her hand flying. “I’m having a hard time bending my arms.” She admitted.

What’s romance? What’s love? Is it really all kiss-kiss-fuck-fuck and then you go shopping and compliment each other’s manicured nails? Do you go for cliché and march off to Disneyland and get matching mickey mouse hats? Is that what’s cute these days? Is that romance?

Can romance even exist if you end up on either side of a ring? As I grabbed up Bronwen and kissed her I didn’t think about that. I knew like I know now that we could survive any in ring contest. I knew then that we were above all of that. The truth behind No Cash Value. The reason Mike Bessette, Anthony Vitone, and Ian Ballistic came calling. Real recognizing real.

That’s what romance is. It’s reality. Yeah, you can be cute, that’s fine, you can be funny, that’s good too. But the backbone of real romance exists in small otherwise meaningless moments.

“Well you know, the less you can move your arms the more you know the coat’s really working. Just wait till we get outside you’ll thank me.” I laughed pushing Bron up against the wall. Kissing.

Yeah, not trying to be too obvious with my rabbit complex, if you know what I mean. Don’t let that get around though… Ha.

“The sweat coursing down my skin is proof enough that the coat is working. I think I’m overheating.” She breathes out words between kisses.

“I think you’re right about overheating. Should we get you out of this get up and cancel the trip?” I winked.

Bronwen pushed me away and stumbled to the door, still getting use to her bunny boots. She turned to me and blew a kiss.

“I’ll show you how to ride these things little boy.”

The snowmachines were already started and warm. Bronwen got a headstart on me simply because I had to bust a gut at her running in brand new stiff snowpants. She hopped on the Snowmachine and let it rip—almost sending her right off the back of it but she hung on. I leapt onto mine and hollered at her…

“Hold on to that thing!”

BRRRAAAPPPPP!

Bronwen went flying into the woods, down my old favorite trail. I was supposed to lead but it seemed like she knew the way. Good instincts in this girl… Hell… Great instincts. I turn my snowmachine loose and give chase.

BRRRAAAPPPP!!!

Bronwen was up ahead, still wearing that ridiculous pink helmet. I could tell she was already a natural. Before too long she was throwing her weight side to side, owning the trail. I laughed to myself but swelled up with an odd kind of pride.

Happiness… Yeah…

Pride being the root of all evil, not money, even the No Cash Value is susceptible. Bronwen just has that way about her. To know her is to love her, even if you’re on the other end of her gun. First you shouldn’t have put yourself there. Second, she never wants to pull the trigger. Only in the ring do you see that aggressiveness truly take shape.

I didn’t know then that things would go the way they’re soon going to go. I wish I could tell you but frankly, you don’t want to know. All the reality of this will do is ruin this moment for me.

Somewhere along that trail, Bronwen and I escaped everything.

An hour into the ride, Bronwen pulled over on the side of the trail and stopped her machine. She killed the engine and popped off the machine. I pulled up beside her and leaned back on my seat as if it were an easy chair.

“Having fun babe?” I asked.

“Loads.” Bronwen said, smiling, crinkling up her rosey red nose. “We need to get out in the open so I can open this thing up!” She grinned.

“We’ll do that babe.” I leaned over for a kiss.

With that said she pulled off the helmet and tossed it into the woods.

“Baby! Your helmet!” I exclaimed!

“Fancy some danger?” She winked,

I ripped past her back onto the trail and gunned it, putting considerable amount of distance between us. I stopped and looked back, giggling at her as she pulled at the rip cord. Before too long she was off the machine and waving her hands.

“What’s wrong?” I shouted.

“I can’t get it started!” She yelled.

I cupped my hand behind my ear, “What?!”

“I can’t get it started!”

She didn’t know I had the electric kill switch rigged to not let it restard. I chuckled to myself.

“Well, Looks like you’re on foot.” I snickered, “I’ll make some hot cocoa for you when you get back!’

“What?!” Bronwen asked, flinging off her puffy jacket.

“You’ll need that coat!” I laughed.

“Dick!” She pulled down her snow pants and stumbled forward, falling into the snow. “Gah! Get me out of these shackles!’

I hopped off my snow machine and shouted, “Pull your pants up! Bigfoot might want that ass!”

“Fuck you Shane!” She rolled over, “I can’t get up!”

I walked to her and smirked, “You weren’t supposed to stop here. We have another mile or so to go.”

“What?” She asked.

I leaned down to pull her up but she pulled me down and shoved my face right into the snow for a hell of a white wash.

“Gaaahhh!” I groaned, spitting out snow.

I rolled over and she got on top of me, pinning down my hands.

“What do you mean we weren’t supposed to stop here?” She asked,

“I was supposed to lead, our stop isn’t far but that machine ain’t moving.” I tried to get up but she wouldn’t let me. I tried to sneak a kiss but she wouldn’t let me have that either…

“Fess up.” She says, “I’ll give you a titty twister.”

Not the dreaded titty twister!

“No!”

Like clockwork she’s on top of my nipple and tried to twist the fucker off. I pushed her hand away and we kissed. It wasn’t just a silly fun kiss either—we melted our impressions into the snow. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tight.

“I have a lil some’n set up for us. Something Alaskan for us to enjoy.”

“Oh yeah?” She whispered, “Do tell.”

“We’re going to be Eskimos for a day.” I laughed, letting my hands crawl up beneath her shirt, “You’re cold baby. Damn.”

“Warm me up then Mr. Nayokpuk.” She cooed.

“Well, if you’ll stop crushing my nuts I can make that happen.” I smiled.

She leapt off of me, laughing as she pulled me up, “Sorry about that babe.”

“No worries.” I winked.

Bronwen and I made some smoke signals that night. While we wasted the day pushing each other into snow banks I knew full well how the night would come in upon us. Something special for her and me to share. You know—For Always. Yeah, we’re all kids sometimes.

Sometimes I imagine if we were the kids across the street from each other. I wonder how long it would have taken before we were palling around causing trouble and sneaking off together. The way I had her out there on the snowmachine trail I’d have to say—it wouldn’t have taken very long.

Knowing what I know now—I wish we’d never have gotten off that trail together. There, for a moment, our paths still meant to cross. Now, we’re moving further and further away from each other and I can’t stop it. There’s nothing I can do…

When we finally got to the stop, Bronwen couldn’t stop laughing. I’d lined the trees with Christmas lights to help me see it when we got on top of it. In the middle of a clearing sat the humble home I made for us… Our first home… A home with an impossible threshold… Ha. Me carry Bron…

“An Igloo?!” Bronwen asked, climbing off the back of the snowmachine…

“Damn right an Igloo.” I laughed, “I am an Eskimo afterall.”

“You are.” She said, inspecting the entrance, “Eskimo Joe.”

I came up behind her and smacked her ass and she turned around and smacked me across the face.

“I couldn’t reach your ass.” She laughed, “So can we live in it?”

I looked up at the dark skies overhead, “So long as the weather holds. Summer time brings flood damage though—big time.”

“Wow.” She laughed, getting on her knees and crawling inside.

Her voice echoed from the inside of it, “Wow, it’s spacious in here! Room for a guest room I think.”

“We’re expecting guests?” I said, crawling half way inside.

“Well, if Bigfoot drops by.” She laughed, snuggling up in the sleeping bag inside.

I snuck in with her and we got close, face to face.

“Gotta use body heat to keep us warm tonight.” I admitted.

“No prob Bob.” She said.

That night after we killed the lights we sat outside the Igloo and I got a fire going. We held each other as the northern lights appeared in the sky overhead… Dancing across the sky…

We were breathless… We were in love… I shouldn’t share these memories but I state them, for fear that they never really happened.

If only… If only we could go back there…
 

 

DIRTY MANIFESTO
"The Inflamed."

Johnny Lukas and Seth Dryden are both living and loving the dream that I somehow needed them in No Cash Value.  Johnny Lukas is snapping his fingers as a result of laying down to me and Seth is just trying to convince himself and others that he had something to do with No Cash Value's success.  And I have to admit I'm a bit guilty on both points but once again, Don't believe everything you see on the Television.  It'll fool you--send you straight into a false sense of security.

Johnny Lukas, you're still in your land of make believe hugging your Angel Serenity close and you're bouncing these ideas off of her like a superball.  One of those questions is, "Why did I lay down to Shane Clemmens?"

I'll tell you why Johnny.  See, from the onset of Fight One I new I needed the Lukas boys in No Cash Value.  Yes, I was dumb to think that I could help you guys be better than what you already are but hindsight is twenty fucken twenty, alright?  The truth you don't want your girlfriend and cousin to know is that you can't beat Shane Clemmens.  I already proved that fact to you in RWA and I was lining up to do it all over again in Fight One.  What do I do instead?  I rig a deal with you.  I didn't want you to look like a horses ass, considering you were coming into No Cash Value so I arranged things where you could lay down on your own and look like you actually ran something.

Are you gullible?  Yeah, you prove that point yourself.

But were you screwed?  Hell no you weren't.  We were the loudest pop that night man, you know it.  You and I sent that place to the roof top with that match and totally fucked their minds when you fell to The Dirty Dog.  It was a masterpiece if you ask me.  All you wanted to do was not end up getting your ass handed to you and I granted that.  I allowed you to look like a bad mother fucker.  What do you do now?  You play the Seth Dryden card and stick it in my face trying to play yourself off as some kind of victim.  Fuck that man and fuck your delusions for even conjuring that idea.

Serenity means well when she gets you to soldier up but she's dumber than Gust putting Daniel Jacobson into the Primetime Title contendership match.  Like Gust all she's done is set the wolves loose on you.

I promise you Johnny, there will be no deals this time.  There will be no swerves.  Involving you and I anyway.  Ha.  Yeah.  Keep talking yourself into a state of complacency too by the way, all you're doing is playing right into my hand.  Remember--if you still have the ability--don't believe everything you see on the Television.

I made you better than what you were Johnny.  No Cash Value made you better.  All the Infamous does for you is make you look like the fool you really are.

I alligned myself with Seth Dryden, Johnny Lukas, and Brett Lukas because I needed to be protected?  Let's look back bozos, who protected who?  Who made Seth Dryden and Johnny Lukas contenders?  No Cash Value did.  On your own the both of you would have taken tandem headers into oblivion.  That's why you're both so quick to find back up.  You know full well that Shane Clemmens takes care of himself and usually destroys anyone who gets in his way.

Instead I suggest the two of you worry less about the Pay Per View and consider what you're doing to your stable...  You're doing the same thing to The Infamous that you tried to pull on No Cash Value only this time you're doing it in fast-fucking-forward.

And Seth, before I leave you two to destroy each other, there's something I want you to think about.  That's if you're still capable of thought beyond "What Seth Wants."

You and I use to fuck things up back in the day.  We backed each other.  Remember the Super Dro?  Remember all the guys we've taken down and all the promotions we've been fired from just because we looked out for each other?  Yeah.  That's the same relationship Johnny and Brett have.  Theirs is stronger though because it's built on Blood.  Well that and the fact that Brett has yet to dawn a mask and beat down Johnny.  Yeah man.  You fucked the pooch on that one.  Now you're struggling for control in a stable comprised of two cousins and the girl that loves both of them nearly equally.  Yeah.  You're talking shit on all three of them every time you open your big mouth.

You fucked over the one guy left that still looked out for you.  The one guy that you could count on to be there if you were in trouble.  You fucked that, not me.  Quit playing the victim and own up to what you've done before I do.

I guarantee you'll be a lot easier on yourself than I will be.

But remember this.  Just like your past glory in SFT, Shane Clemmens and Seth Dryden is ancient history.

Now how about the both of you put on some lipstick and go do some dishes...

...Before Mama Serenity gets mad at you...

Ha.

Eat a dick.
 

 

endo