[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade up the Legacy logo. ]]

[[ The blackness of your screen dissipates to an almost blinding white phosphorescent light. The cameras pan down and we see a doctor standing with a clip board next to a bed. Seated on the bed is Sonny Siaki, some bandaging around his ribs, and Desire, in a chair next to him, their hands interlaced. ]]

Doctor: Looks like you're cleared for this week, but take it easy..

[[ He checks off a few more things on his board and walks out of the room. Siaki grabs a stress ball from a nearby desk and hurls it into the wall opposite of him. Desire rubs his arm with her other hand, concerned. ]]

Desire: Calm down, baby, he said you're cleared to wrestle.

Sonny Siaki: That jacked up son of a bitch ruined my chances!

[[ Goldberg, jackhammer, ringing a bell? ]]

Sonny Siaki: I could have that World Heavyweight Championship around my waist, RIGHT NOW, if it weren't that pill pumping bastard.

[[ He pulls his arm away from Desire, immensely pissed off. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Now I'm stuck with some bullshit contendership!? Are you kidding me!?

Desire: It's alright, really. You're still in the top six.

Sonny Siaki: It doesn't matter. Sonny Siaki doesn't do 'alright', he does phenomenally. And as soon as Goldberg saw that there was yet ANOTHER superstar in Legacy Wrestling better than him, he got jealous. But that's alright, because we've got something in store for all of them, don't we?

[[ Desire smiles, cunningly. ]]

Desire: We sure do. We're going to show everybody, just who Sonny Siaki is..

Sonny Siaki: Yeah, it'll shut up all the Justin Credible's out there. They'll know who I am... I AM THE ACE IN THE HOLE!

[[ Siaki stands up, but almost too quickly as he grabs his ribs in pain. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Bald-headed freak....

Desire: Let's get out of here, Vince is waiting in the car..

[[ He takes a hold of her hand and they make their way out of the door. ]]

---

[[ We're back at the hotel now, Siaki is nowhere to be found, just Desire and Vince. ]]

Vince Russo: Are you two really going through with this?

Desire: Yeah, why wouldn't we?

[[ Vince scratches his head a little bit. ]]

Vince Russo: It just seems like a little... too much. Y'know?

Desire: Vince, this is Sonny we're talking about...

[[ He thinks about it for a second. ]]

Vince Russo: Oh, right. Well, in that case, it's perfectly justified.

[[ Sonny walks out of one of the walk-in closets in the room, his clothes hiding, horribly, his bandages around his waist. He sits down oblivious to Vince and Desire's conversation. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Why didn't you just end Goldberg when you had the chance, Vince?

[[ Vince is taken aback by this. ]]

Vince Russo: When in the hell did I have the chance?

Sonny Siaki: When you beat him for the WCW Heavyweight Championship. You could've just, fired his ass... or at least stopped booking him and putting over all the time.

Vince Russo: I had to pay bills, Sonny. You can't honestly blame this on me. He brought the ratings.

[[ Sonny chuckles. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Well guess who brings in the ratings now...

[[ Vince answers confidently. ]]

Vince Russo: As of last week, JBL clearly said he brought in the ratings.

[[ Desire does a terribly accurate one-dimensional imitation of the redneck. ]]

Desire: ... I AM RATINGS!

Sonny Siaki: Yeah, whatever you say, Bronco.

[[ Sonny pulls Desire in under his arm. ]]

Sonny Siaki: I'm pretty sure as of last week, as of my complete domination of Justin Credible, and that entire Elimination match, I'm the go-to guy for ratings.

Vince Russo: Yeah but when does anybody ever agree with you? You're the underdog in everything that has to do with Legacy Wrestling.

[[ He scoffs. ]]

Sonny Siaki: That's all about to change, Vince. VERY soon, the entire public will know exactly who's running shop around here. And, just to make matters worse, I've got a match against my supposed 'rival' for the ratings. So, the only ratings JBL is bringing in this week is the ones that come from 'obscene bloodshed' and 'totally jobbing to Sonny Siaki'.

[[ Here we go again. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Why else would Bisch book him against me? Why else would Bisch book ANYBODY against me, besides Kenny Dykstra, or Jeff Hardy?

[[ He defends himself. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Those are the only two guys I'm worried about. Let me get Dykstra out of the way, win European gold, and then knock Jeff Hardy down off of the abortion of a career he is going to have.

[[ He runs a hand over his head. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Enough about that. It's time, Desire.

Desire: Not in front of Vince, come on...!

Sonny Siaki: Not that.

[[ Vince is visibly distraught at that decision. ]]

Sonny Siaki: It's time we go about our way. To prove to JBL, and all of Legacy Wrestling that I'm more than just a European title contender, more than a top 6 wrestler, more than a main-eventer, that I am a forced to be reckoned with in this business.

[[ Desire rubs his stomach. ]]

Sonny Siaki: JBL's been in this industry since '92, he's done it all. He's wrestled the greats, even tackled the stock market. But there's one thing he hasn't done, something he'll NEVER do...

Desire: Me.

Sonny Siaki: I was getting at the fact that JBL won't beat me on Shock.

[[ Desire is sad. ]]

Sonny Siaki: So zip it.

[[ Stacy does the zipper over her lips, and even throws away the key. ]]

---

[[ We're in a limo now, just Sonny and Desire, seated very close to each other, Siaki's arm around his mistress. They both look very happy and very eager. ]]

Sonny Siaki: This is going to be great. This is exactly what The Ace In The Hole needs to do to propel himself over the competition.

[[ He pauses. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Well, maybe not this week, because face it, JBL just.. isn't competition.

Desire: Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily say you NEED this. I could beat JBL.

Sonny Siaki: Just send him an e-mail that says his stock went down 15 points, and he'll flip and hopefully kill himself.

[[ Hopefully. ]]

Sonny Siaki: And after my amazing victories on last week's Shock, it's only fitting that this week everybody thinks JBL is going to shut me up. Do they actually think some excuse of a suplex could keep me from beating some washed up redneck? Newsflash haters, that's not going to happen. Now, if he would've done that to Blue Meanie, it probably would've ended that slobs career.

[[ He looks into the camera. ]]

Sonny Siaki: But I, am not some overweight, fowl-breathed, talentless loser like Blue Meanie... or JBL, actually. I'm the Ace in the Hole. I do what I want, when I want, and how I want! And if this is supposed to be some kind of, physical challenge, that Bischoff is putting me through to see if I'm worthy of a European title shot, then so be it.

[[ Short pause. ]]

Sonny Siaki: It wouldn't be the first time I'd have to overcome some politically empowered jackass to come out ahead in this industry. You saw how terrible he mishandled even the lowest of his superstars last week, just wait until he tries to pick a fight with me. He can send whoever he wants my way, I'll just barrel through them like a dart getting thrown by the great Steven McBride!

[[ Cheap pop? ]]

Sonny Siaki: And it continues this week with JBL.

Desire: He doesn't stand a chance.

Sonny Siaki: Damn right he doesn't.

[[ They kiss for a short period of time, but their heads remain very close. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Because he's not half the man I am.

[[ Another peck. ]]

Sonny Siaki: He's not the kind of winner I am...

[[ He sarcastically puts his hand over his heart, as if to show some sort of emotion as he says it. ]]

Sonny Siaki: And the fact that he's nothing more than some book-selling zero. And we all know what happened to Mankind's career after he started selling books.

[[ Siaki raises his thumb up towards the roof, and then slams it back down. ]]

Desire: He couldn't even beat Brock Lesnar and Chris Daniels, and you royally whipped Lesnar's ass.

Sonny Siaki: That's because I'm the best..

[[ He's super cocky. ]]

Sonny Siaki: JBL might as well start selling his shares now, because I've heard it's extremely hard to sell stocks from a grave.

[[ The limo stops at a tall, modern, glass-tiled building. They're here.. but, where? ]]

---

[[ Inside the building we see our dynamic duo seated in a waiting area of sorts. It looks as if they've been there for a while, Desire is almost asleep on the shoulder of the Ace in the Hole, and Sonny's had enough of it. ]]

Sonny Siaki: I've had enough of this.

[[ Told you. ]]

Sonny Siaki: I'm going tell that stupid receptionist just who the hell I am.

[[ He lifts the lifeless head of Desire off of his shoulder, and begins a march towards a desk near the front of the building. He stomps right up to the desk, skipping all of the people in line. The receptionist tilts her head and lowers her reading glasses, chomping ridiculously on a piece of gum. ]]

Receptionist: I told'ja he'd be wit y'as in a minute.

Sonny Siaki: Listen, Dolly Pardon, I don't think you know just how urgent this is. And if you don't bump me up to the front of the line well... I'll just have to do it myself!

[[ He's whining... I mean, he means business! ]]

Sonny Siaki: You got that!?

[[ She smacks her gum and moves it around in her mouth, resembling a cow chewing on some grass. ]]

Receptionist: Go for it, big shot.

[[ He huffs and puffs. ]]

Sonny Siaki: FINE!

[[ He walks back over to Desire, grabs her hand and whips her out of her chair. ]]

Desire: Huh, what!?

Sonny Siaki: I just have to do everything for myself these days.

[[ They walk off down a long narrow corridor, passing up several doors, all perfectly alike. ]]

Sonny Siaki: I bet that stock broking bastard JBL would've gotten better service that this! This is preposterous!

[[ His face is overcome with a look of disgust. ]]

Sonny Siaki: I swear, if this doesn't put Sonny Siaki on the map, NOTHING WILL!

[[ He thinks to himself. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Well, except maybe putting an inevitable end to JBL's already overdue career, and winning both European and World titles.

[[ He smiles. ]]

Desire: How are we even going to find out which room to go in, they all look the same.

Sonny Siaki: I'm the greatest superstar in LW for a reason, babe, I know which doors to go in.

[[ He stops and looks around. ]]

Sonny Siaki: It's probably way in the back, I mean, it's going to be in terrible condition. RW has been dead for like, two years.. or something.

[[ RW? ]]

Desire: I guess you're right.

[[ They continue walking. ]]

Sonny Siaki: I'm not going to let some stupid, up-state New York broad hold me back. Nothing's getting in the way of me and my destiny! Not her, not RW, not Goldberg, and surely not JBL. What does he have that I don't?

[[ Desire goes to speak, but Sonny appears to be in some kind of frustrated trance, and keeps babbling. ]]

Sonny Siaki: A cowboy hat? Get real.

[[ He laughs at his own joke. ]]

Sonny Siaki: I mean, any idiot with Google can buy and sell stocks on Wall street, hell, even some country freak from Texas can do it. And what does that have to do with wrestling? Sheesh, somebody needs to slap some sence into this cat.

Desire: And that man is....

Sonny Siaki: Damn right it's me.

[[ He's on fire. ]]

Sonny Siaki: I don't know about you, Desire, but I've been on a hot streak lately, did you see how I handled that elimination match? Fact is, I just... don't know how to lose. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. And now this big bull wrestlin' son of a bitch thinks just because he's a bottom feeding bookseller that he can call me out and tell me who's going to win? Oh give me a break.

[[ He rolls his eyes. ]]

Sonny Siaki: It's funny.. you know. It doesn't matter how many times I have to get my professional translator to tell me what JBL is saying underneath all that mumbling he calls English, it's still funny. Funny that he thinks he can tell me.. SONNY SIAKI... THE GREATEST THING TO EVER ENTER A WRESTLING ARENA... that I'm going to lose. How many matches has he won.. what? Close to.. ZERO!?

[[ He punches the wall. ]]

Desire: That's correct... and it's going to stay that way.

Sonny Siaki: And then we'll see who doesn't belong to be in this damn country. Once I finish pounding your face into the mat, you're going to WANT to leave!

Desire: That, or he's going to wish he was Heath Ledger.

[[ Sick burn. ]]

Sonny Siaki: I'm glad you're making this into some big joke, JBL. Throwing some of your fellow OVW wrestlers into a room... I'm sorry I don't need some cliché racial jokes to be successful in this business. You know why? Because my actions speak for me! And the fact that you think you have an honest to god chances of getting one over on me, will just make it that much more satisfying whenever I'm standing over your crumpled American boasting body. Hell, I'll even bring an American flag with me to ringside, a big one, because there isn't any way that the medical workers are going to be able to find a body bag for your fat ass to fit in.

Desire: He's not really that fat...

Sonny Siaki: Does he have a body like me?

[[ He stops dead in his tracks. ]]

Sonny Siaki: ...does he have a body like me!?

[[ He takes hold of Desire's hand, running it down his chest and abs. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Answer me.

[[ She gives in. ]]

Desire: ...no.

Sonny Siaki: Then he's fat.

[[ Such a jerk. They continue walking... almost to the end of the hallway. ]]

Sonny Siaki: This has to be it.

[[ The corridor comes to an end, and the very last door you see, is tattered, torn, broken, and slightly charred in some places. Siaki knocks, but gets no answer. He knocks again, and is again unnoticed. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Oh my god..

[[ He opens the door and barges in. A room barren of furniture and lacking any life to it at all. Only a desk, and a recliner occupy the room, littered with Revolution Wrestling memorabilia. A voice is then heard coming from the recliner, which is turned away from the camera, facing boarded up windows. ]]

Man: ...can I help you?

Sonny Siaki: Uhm, I was looking for a guy by the name of Drew...

[[ The voice is feeble, almost deadly. Siaki cautiously walks closer to the desk. ]]

Sonny Siaki: ...you know, the guy from RW...

[[ Desire clings on to Siaki's arm, terrified. ]]

Man: ...you have found him...

[[ The chair swivels back towards Siaki, revealing Andrew Anthony! Siaki kind of jumps back, shocked. ]]

zXtremePsychoz: Don't be scared by my horrid configuration, I've been shot many a time.

[[ His face is horribly disfigured, and one of his hands is gimp and nubby. ]]

zXtremePsychoz: What have you come here for?

Sonny Siaki: Well, as you may or may not know, I've gotten into this new business, Legacy Wrestling.. and well, I figured I should be showing off my Legacy..

[[ He can't stand to look at Drew. ]]

Sonny Siaki: And since everybody wants to act like they don't know I am.. I figured I'd give them a shrewd reminder of why Sonny Siaki is the greatest thing on cable TV today....

[[ Drew inturrupts with a mumble. ]]

zXtremePsychoz: ...oprah.

[[ Siaki leans in closer, grabbing his ear. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Okra?

zXtremePsychoz: ..Oprah.

Sonny Siaki: O-what?

[[ Drew slams his fist down on the table. ]]

zXtremePsychoz: OPRAH IS THE GREATEST THING ON CABLE TV!

[[ Drew explodes into a rauchus of coughing and spitting, shaking violently. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Oh.. right.

Desire: He has a point, she's got her own channel now.

Sonny Siaki: I know, it's ridiculous.

[[ He addresses Drew. ]]

Sonny Siaki: Well, let's get to the point.

zXtremePsychoz: Please.. my days are numbered and I'm not getting any younger.

[[ He was like 26 or something, wasn't he? ]]

Sonny Siaki: I've come to ask for the RW Premier Title.

zXtremePsychoz: ...WHAT!?

[[ Another roar of coughing and gagging. ]]

Sonny Siaki: I need that belt. It's the single greatest accomplishment of any man in Legacy Wrestling. It's the one thing that will give me that edge against the rest of the competition, other than my stunningly good looks and amazing skill and ability.

 

SEE.. THE...
SIAKALYPSE!

[[ He throws down his mic and races to a corner on which he stands and raises his arms to a sea of cheering and overzealous reactions from the crowd. He backs down and as he walks up the ramp, he signals that the lesser important match can continue on as it was. What a cocky bastard. ]]

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade out. ]]

---

THE TROPHY CABINET; - WME World Heavyweight Champion - SGW Gold of the Week - SGW Top Matches (2; vs. SCSA, vs. Chris Benoit) - APW Television Champion - APW World Heavyweight Champion - APW Ring of Dreams Epic Elimination Finalist (Winner) - Longest APW World Championship Reign - First to successfully defend APW World Championship - First to successfully defend APW Television Championship - APW Ring of Dreams Epic Elimination Finalist - CWF United states Champion (First) - CWF Tag Team Champion (2) - CWF Hardcore Champion (2) - CWF World Heavyweight Tournament Finalist - CWF Television Champion (First) - RW Premier Champion - RW Double Jeopardy Participant - ECW Tag Team Champion (Only) - Legacy Top Six

SAW THE SIAKALYPSE; - Justin Credible - Triple H - Blue Meanie - The Rock - Kurt Angle - Brock Lesnar - Scott Steiner - Edge