time: wednesday evening

day: june twenty fifth

place: bailey's bay, bermuda; engel residence.

(After an amazing dinner with my wife and daughter, I plop myself on the couch and try to enjoy some evening television. However, I catch Phoenix's latest interview on the television. Usually I don't like to respond right away, but I just can't help myself. I grab my camera and hit record.)

Matthew Engel: "It's almost as if the more times you open your mouth, you essentially dissipate any intelligence you had. Here's a thought: shut your fucking mouth so you don't end up as dumb as the man who's going to end your career on July eleventh.

Answer me this: do you even know what a vacuum is?

Clearly, you don't. It's a volume of space that doesn't have any matter, Phoenix. Are you trying to sit there and tell me the area in which you and McNasty fell had absolutely no matter? Then you're as dumb as I've pegged you for.

Not to mention, if you were exposed to a vacuum, you'd die within minutes. You're a moron, Rob."

(I shake my head.)

Matthew Engel: "So yes, the fact that McNasty weighs more than you played a role in you losing because he fell faster than you. You and him are not 'roughly' the same size. If you say 'roughly' in a science experiment as an estimate, then you're a fucking moron. Any scientist would look at you with disdain. It's simple physics, and clearly you don't have the intelligence to understand it. That's fine, not everyone was destined to be intelligent. You try to make up for it with your brute fighting skills. It's understandable, Rob. Completely understandable.

But my combination of raw talent and unmatched wit is what will put you away this Friday, coinciding with your pathetic apathy for this match. Not even a Phoenix at one hundred and fifty percent stands a chance against me.

Once again, you threw nothing my brother's way. He held the Television Title, not the Grizzly Beer title. I'm sure you'll go on some tangent about how that shows just how inferior the Engel family really is, but you'd be mistaken. It only shows just how much you don't care and how dumb you look because of it. But yes, since you like to talk about it so much, you went on to the Elimination Chamber match. Of course I remember it. I especially remember Alex Wilkie eliminating you from that match. You did absolutely nothing but get in the way of everybody.

See, you mention Thunderwolf, Nightstyker, Sirus Moran... two of those men have taken their bow out of wrestling. The latter sticks around because he is a walking definition of the PWA. Sirus will wrestle until he's seventy years old, not because he's greedy or a gloryhound, but because he loves it. The nicest guy you'll ever talk to. I don't care about those men and their records, you're right; it doesn't mean anything. But, I assure you this: they all have better records than you. Even Sirus' current record from the beginning of this PWA incarnation is better than yours. They all have done more for this sport as competitors than you ever will. I never spoke of myself in the same light as them, I never said I was better than them or claimed to be more legendary. They're legends in their own right, but who cares, Rob? Only one of them is still around... and he's one half of the PWA Tag Champions.

Once again, you find yourself low on the totem pole. Anybody can beg the World Champion for a title shot when they put their career on the line. Desperation. Just acknowledge that fact, and you might be better off.

What matters is what's going on right now, and I've proven time after time that I'm one of the top superstars here. My record and current title speaks for itself. Don't like it? Tough shit.

You don't understand that you're way past your prime. I have respect for you, Rob, for what you've done for this company. But, you really need to start learning your fucking place and it isn't in the main event anymore. You can't hack it. You've been given a surreal amount of opportunities, but you can't produce. I begin to wonder whether it's pity or fear from the front office that continues to put you in the main event. Maybe, just maybe, Raizzor and my brother don't have any faith in you and they figure this is way for them to get some actual talent into the main event, rather than a has-been whose reputation definitely precedes him.

They probably feel sorry for you. They know you were big for his company six years ago, but you're not anymore. Unless you're running things, you're useless.

Or maybe they fear you, Rob. They fear that by low-carding you based on what you've actually managed to produce and how much you actually care about this place, you'll take action against them. Maybe you'll try to take the company back for yourself, so you can continue to book yourself in the main event. Maybe that's what they fear, so they try and please you as best they can.

Either way, it's bullshit. Fucking bullshit. You don't belong at the top anymore."

(A sigh of relief.)

Matthew Engel: "What about my title, Rob? Are you jealous that I have one and you don't? It's okay to be envious, it's perfectly natural. What I find hilarious and sickening altogether is that you're getting second opportunity to win the World Title and a third opportunity to win any title. You haven't cashed in yet, and you don't realize just how embarrassing that is to you. Aren't you the great Phoenix? Two-time World Champion, PWA legend; there isn't any reason that you can't win, except for one:

you aren't good anymore.

I've been given two opportunities to win a PWA title and I cashed in on both. I won the Tag Title with Enika in my first match in the PWA. And, more recently, I won the Intercontinental Title off of Nightmare at Retribution. I haven't had the chance to defend my Intercontinental title, but I assure you once I get that chance I will come out victorious. I don't plan on dropping this baby yet, and certainly not to Jamie Flynn. But, let me ask you this: when was the last time you had something to defend?

Don't strain yourself.

But on top of two title match opportunities, you were given two additional chances to put yourself in line for a title shot, and you failed miserably -- once against Corey at Who's The Man? and the other in that horrific gauntlet match when Mark pinned you. The point is you've been given so many opportunities, more than anybody on our roster, and you can't cash in. See, that doesn't sit well with us. We understand you were a big deal, and we understand you think you still are. But, your time is essentially over, and Mark McNasty is going to put the exclamation point on your career at A Farewell to Arms.

And when did I say I hear that I'm boring all the time? I simply called you out on being cliche, I never said I hear it all the time. Please stop twisting my words around to meet your own immature, petty insults. Once again, you're only proving just how dumb and out-of-the-game you really are. You think you're the only one to start off your promo about how boring someone is? People do that shit all the time, and quite frankly it's getting old. Call me out on something, prove me wrong on something, but don't just sit there and call me boring. It takes away your credibility, because if I was that boring I wouldn't be on the tip of everyone's tongue and I wouldn't have thousands of people watching this video right now.

But allow me to quote you: 'People talk about age like once you hit thirty you can break a hip just getting out of bed. All that my age means is that I've got more experience and know how to use every advantage at my disposal.'

...

I'm thirty one. I've been doing this for eight years. You're preaching to the choir, idiot."

(A quiet chuckle.)

Matthew Engel: "Yeah, I'd really like to see you arrange for me never to be able to wrestle again. Not likely. I'm tougher, smarter, and better than you in ways you haven't even thought about yet, and I'll run circles around you until you pass out from hypoxia -- lack of oxygen, which is something you can experience in a VACUUM, no less.

I still can't believe you told me you and Mark were in a vacuum. I really can't believe it. Sure, Rob, if you two were in a vacuum, weight would have no difference. It would be inertia. But, you weren't in a vacuum, imbecile, you were here on Earth in an arena, and you fucking lost in front of thousands of people. See, my pay-per-view undefeated streak does mean something because when I'm in big matches, and pay-per-view matches ARE big matches because millions of people are watching them around the world, I always win. Under the pressure, I come out victorious.

What makes you think fighting you will be any different? Because you're the hottest thing in PWA? Please.

You're going to get destroyed on Rampage, and that's all there is to it.

I do not forgive.

I do not forget.

Vacuum... pfft."
(fade.)