SCENE 00: WHAT YOU MIGHT'VE MISSED...

Since her arrival in WCW, our favorite Scream Queen has been handed two seperate losses. One from Stacy Keibler, who has recently been let go, and the other from Awesome Kong, who is facing Stephanie McMahon this week in the opening bout. Daffney maintains that she shouldn't have lost to either one, but apparently someone somewhere has plans for her that we're not aware of. This week's opponent is Michelle McCool, a former WWE diva and titleholder. Before we get Daffney's opinion on Michelle, let's sit in on this week's session with Dr. Stevie.

SCENE 01: WEEKLY UPDATE WITH DR. STEVIE

As the scene opens, we are in Dr. Stevie's office with Daffney lying down on the small sofa, staring up at the ceiling and Dr. Stevie, in his ever present blue suit, sitting in his usual high-backed Victorian chair. In his hands are Daffney's file and his legal pad as well as his pen. Unlike last week, Daffney doesn't seem especially upset. On the contrary, she seems rather.. calm.. as if she could go to sleep at any moment now. Dr. Stevie, as usual, starts off the conversation by addressing how things went this past week.

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
"Daffney, don't be discouraged. A lot of people rarely win their first few matches in. I'm sure you'll start winning in no time. Now.. about that altercation backstage. I wasn't there for obvious reasons, but tell me what happened.. from your point of view, of course."

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"I don't care about losing to Kong, Dr. Stevie. I knew I'd lose. Hell, I don't know one person that can win against Kong on their own. Key words being on thier own, of course. When Velvet won the title from Kong in our previous company - I'm sure you know the one I'm talking about - she had help. That's the oooonly reason she won at all. She can play it up like she was the it, but we aaaaall know better. She couldn't win on her own if that was her middle name. Anyhow, the little scuffle in the back was nothing. I don't even know why you brought it up."

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
"I brought it up because it needs to be addressed. It was you and nearly every other diva in there, scrapping like common sluts on a corner for the last dollar bill in a John's pocket. Now tell me what happened."

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
She sighs. "Fine. Since you just -have- to know, yeah.. it was me, Mickie, Michelle, Maryse, and Kong with her little mouthpeice. Michelle went on about how she earned her way to the top and all that crap when she knows she's lying through those horse teeth of hers.. then Maryse's little French poodle ass jumped in, claiming she was the perfect one to hold it when everyone knows the only thing she's perfect to hold is Jim Duggan's jockstrap. Mickie was actually the smartest one of the group if you can believe it, and said none of em were good enough to hold it, which I actually agree with. Funny thing was, she called em bimbos, something else I agree with." She sits up. "Yanno, that Mickie chick ain't that bad. She's actually pretty cool.. compared to everyone else, she's a frickin angel. Anyhow, Kong's little person jumped in with her fancy words and her weird ass accent.. that just got her told off by everyone, really."

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
"Alright, hold on a second. You're saying it was a bitchfight over who's the better woman to hold the Women's Title that started all this?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
She nods. "Yep. That's what started the whole thing. Typical, right? Anyhow, Kong got all kinds of pissed cause we yelled at her only friend. Me and Mickie headed her off while Michelle and Maryse went after each other.. talk about useless. On the outside, though, Lita and Velvet are having their own little bitchfight over the belt, which takes up all the referees' time, which means they can't come peel us up off the floor after Kong's done sitting on us. They eventually do, apparently, and that's where we are now. Note the bruises?"

She points to her arms, which are nearly covered in bruises. Some are of varying colors, showing thier healing status. Dr. Stevie nods and asks her his next question.

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
"So did you get your next match yet?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Yeah, but I'm kinda confused."

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
"That's alright. I'll help you sort it out. What's the problem?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Well after the little divas battle in the back, Miss Kimberly came out and made some announcements. Stacy and April were fired.. YAY! Maryse is gonna get fired if she doesn't cut the crap.. double yay! Lita and some other chick - she didn't say who - face Velvet and Angie. Then she mentioned my match.. me, Stephanie, and Maryse against Mickie, Michelle, and Kong."

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
"What's not to get about that?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Well when I looked at the card for this week, I'm against Michelle, Stephanie's against Kong, and Mickie's against Maryse. The only match that stayed in place was the Lita one."

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
"Did you ask for an explanation?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Yeah, and they said it was an oversight, that we'd get those matches next week."

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
"Alright then. There you go. You already know what to do for next week as well. It just serves for a heads up, that's all. It's a good thing, Daffney."

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Oh.. okay, then."

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
"So back to your match for this week. What do you think about Michelle?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"What is there to think about her? She's just like every other chick I've fought, except for Kong. Blonde hair, skimpy clothes, annoying voice.. the whole bit. It's like A Christmas Story.. day after day, the same matches over and over again. To be honest, it's a bit boring. Can't they break that mold already? Make another one or something? It'd be nice to have another me running around. I liked Victoria.. Mickie's cool.. where are the others like us?"

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
He mutters under his breath. "Probably in the nuthouse." He grins reassuringly at Daffney. "I'm not sure, to be honest. Why don't you look them up just to see? I'm sure they'd love to hear from you."

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Yeah, I might. These people are just too normal.. it's annoying. I hate normal people."

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
He mutters again. "That's obvious." He looks at his watch then at Daffney. "Well that's all the time we have for this week, I'm afraid. We'll see what happens and talk about the results next week, alright?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Okay!" She gets up off of the couch and goes over to the door leading out to the waiting area. "See you next week, Dr. Stevie!"

[ shrinktothestars | dr. stevie ]
"Alright.. see you then, Daffney."

As soon as she leaves his office, he begins jotting down notes as the scene fades to black.

SCENE 02: FIRST OFFICIAL WCW INTERVIEW.. EVAH!

As the next scene opens, we see Pamela Paulshock standing in front of the camera with a mic in hand. Hanging nearby, there's a monitor for showing footage she can refer to during the interview. Smiling brightly, she begins her intro.

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"Hello, WCW fans! I'm Pamela Paulshock, and in case you've missed it, I'm the go to girl for this week's Nitro card. Listen up and listen well, this is what's in store!"

A promo image of Awesome Kong vs Stephanie McMahon comes up on the monitor, along with the shots for the next two matches as she introduces the contenders to the audience.

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"For our opening match, we'll see Awesome Kong versus Stephanie McMahon. With the way Kong decimated the ladies in the locker room last week, this should be quite the challenge for Stephanie. Next up is Tyson Tomko against Edge and Zack Ryder. The winner of this match is deemed the number one contender to the TV title, so it should be a good one. That's followed by the Forced Partners tag team match which pits Sonny Siaki and Steve Corino against The New Age Outlaws. In match four of the night, we'll have Michelle McCool, who's facing WCW's favorite Scream Queen, Daffney. So far, Daffney hasn't won at all, but we're hopeful that she'll come out of it this week."

Off screen, a familiar voice is heard letting out a growl, it's tone laden with annoyance, outrage, and frustration. After a moment, Daffney comes into the shot, her green and black outlined stare directed at Pamela as her lips, also green and black, turn down into a frown.

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Hopeful? Hopeful?! Oh, COME on, Pam! I can arm myself with a rubber chicken and kick McCool Whip's ass!"

Pamela simply stands there, shocked at the outburst, as Daffney continues.

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"You're an interviewer, right? An official WCW interviewer?" Pamela simply nods, her eyes wide. "Then do your job! Interview me! And don't screw it up by asking me stupid questions like Gene did. I want actual questions!"

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"A-alright.. um, since arriving here a few weeks ago, you've been handed two seperate losses. How has this affected your confidence going into this match against Michelle McCool? Are you certain you can win this with those two losses in your mind?"

She stares at Pamela with this 'what the fuck' look on her face.

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Seriously.. did you just ask me that? Really.. Pamela, that's just.. ugh.. THE most retarded question I've ever heard. Aside from 'how's your stay been here' when you obviously just got here. Gene is absolutely THE worst to ask that. That one and 'what're your plans'.. what ELSE is there to do? Thing is, EVERYone gives the same damn answer. 'I'm gonna whip everyone's asses and get the Whatever title.' Of course submit the name of whatever title you're going for in that sentence, but it's all the same thing, whether you're a dude or a chick, yanno? Women aren't the only ones that copy everyone else. Men do it, too. The muscles, the little bitty tights, the oil, the 'I'm the man' speeches.. they get so BORING!" She holds up a finger, as if a thought occured to her. "Except Raven.. he's been around for years, and I've never once seen him do the whole tights and oil thing. I think it's mainly an ECW originals thing. They never really went with the norm." She sighs. "Anyhow, to answer your question, NO. No the losses are not going to affect me at all. Like Dr. Stevie said this week.. you win some, you lose some. There's nothing to be upset about if I tried my best, and I did. I can handle McCool Whip with no problem."

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"What about what she was telling Alicia about your father? Your family? Is any of that true?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"What? Is any of what true?"

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"You didn't see it?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"See what, Pamela? You've gotta gimmie some details here if I'm gonna have any clue as to what you're talking about."

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"Watch this.. it'll tell you everything you need to know."

Pamela turns to the monitor as Michelle's promo from before begins playing. "Did you hear… that her father was an axe murderer? ... Her father went crazy ... chopped her mother and her little baby brothers to bits. ... put half of them in the back yard ... cooked the other half for dinner ... I read it in her diary." The screen goes back to the WCW logo as Pamela just looks at Daffney, who has this.. look on her face. One eyebrow is raised and she's glancing between Pamela and the monitor.

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Are you kidding me? Read it in my diary? I don't HAVE a diary! Even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't keep it in my locker where horse-faced skanks like her could read it. Anything in my head goes directly to Dr. Stevie.. nowhere else.. and anything he chooses to write down in my file is kept under strict lock and key, so nobody can get to it. They have to have his signature, my signature, and the signature of the gaurd to even get into the filing cabinet. I mean, he counsels some pretty dangerous people.. not that I'm one.. and getting into those files would be a disaster for society, yanno? As far as my family goes, she doesn't know a damn thing about them, nor will she ever. Anything she THINKS she knows about my family is an out and out LIE, just like those things she told Alicia. If Alicia had any brains at all, she wouldn't listen to a word her so-called friend said. For their information, my family is perfectly fine, physically and mentally. I'm the only.. oddball of the bunch." She laughs.

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"What about the other claims she made? About you wanting to screw Joey Mercury and Shawn Michaels because you were.. well.. a virgin?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
She snorts. "Let me guess.. she supposedly read that in my diary too?"

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"Well.. yeah."

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"What the hell.. did I just say, Pamela? That diary.. was not mine. Whatever she read.. was about someone else.. not me. Besides.. there are SO many things wrong with that. She wouldn't even BEGIN to know me. First off, I DON'T want her prissy little J-Merc, or whatever the hell he calls himself now since his craptastic team split. He's far too high maintenance for me. I don't like a guy that spends more time in front of the mirror than I do. That, plus he's ugly as hell. Have you SEEN that man lately? He looks like a skunk took a crap and made him then sat on his head to serve as hair. The man is NOT pretty, so I don't know where he got that. Second, I don't even want Shawn Michaels. Yes, he's some sort of legend, but there's still a few things wrong with that. One, he's married.. I don't do married. Two, he's not my type.. I don't go for ego-centric.. just like Joey or whomever. Three, his back is so screwed up, I doubt we'd make it through one session of screwing before it gave out on him. If I screw someone, I don't want to stop halfway through because his body decided to be tempermental." She stops for a minute and looks at Pamela. "As far all that other crap, even if I were a virgin.. which I'm not.. I certainly wouldn't write it in a diary. Same goes for those I actually wanna fuck.. I wouldn't write their names where someone could 'accidentally' find it, yanno? I may be crazy, but I'm not that crazy.. not yet, anyhow."

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"What about the horse and dropping out of school.. the hair color.. the nail polish.. all that?"

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
She sighs. "You.. are seriously getting on my nerves, Pamela. If all the other crap wasn't true, what makes you think all that was? Are you truly that stupid? Who, besides you, would believe all that, especially coming from some skinny do-nothing skank like Michelle? I certainly wouldn't, but that's only because I know better. Apparently you don't, or you wouldn't be asking all this, now would you? No.. you'd be asking what you think are important, pressing questions like 'who do you think is going to win the main event on Nitro' type stuff when I could care less who's in it or what the hell happens." She rubs her forehead as if she has a headache and looks back at Pamela. "My hair color is black.. just like most everyone else's. The only reason I'm not a blonde is because I don't have the brain cells to spare during the dying process. My nails are my business, but I happen to like painting them black. Got a problem with it? Take it up with Raven.. Jeff Hardy.. Victoria.. and whomever else that decides to paint thier nails black these days. I'm not the only one who does it, so get off my ass, 'kay?" She sighs, obviously frustrated at the direction this interview is going. "Anything else, Pam?"

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"Um.. she called you a few names.. rat, insect, rodent, all that.. she said you should be fired because you're not worth having and you don't deserve the title.. I think that's about it."

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Really, Pamela.. those little quips aren't worth answering to. I've heard them all before.. and from bigger and better than her. She's nothing but a drop in the bucket, and I can prove it. In fact, I WILL prove it come tomorrow night. I'm done with blondes and stupidity in general. It's overused, overdone, and all around boring as hell. Get some new material, you dimwitted little Barbies. Wanna make a mark in my mind? Do something ORIGINAL. Do something UNIQUE. BE DIFFERENT! I have never.. not even ONCE.. seen a blonde NOT be.. blonde! Not be pretty.. not be preppy.. not be an airhead. I suppose all that bleach has gone to thier brains.. well that just serves a purpose in MY favor. If they don't have the brains to function normally outSIDE of the ring, then they don't have the brains to function INside of it. If that happens.." She shrugs. "..easier win for me. Now if you don't mind, I have a match to prepare for."

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"But.. that isn't til tomorrow.."

[ thescreamqueen | daffney ]
"Don't you think I know that? Preparation doesn't start the day of, Pamela.. not if you're smart."

With that, Daffney walks off, leaving Pamela to stare after her. Shrugging, she faces the camera once again.

[ thenitrointerviewer | pamela paulshock ]
"Well, fans.. I guess we'll see exactly what happens between our resident Scream Queen and Michelle McCool tomorrow night.. only on Nitro."

After she gives a brisk nod to the camera, the scene goes black, showing the WCW logo before fading out completely.