SCENE 00: THE FORWARD

Nothing to report just yet.. keep going. Try again next week.

SCENE 01: SHINY NEW BEGINNING!

Inside a local psychologist's office..

Around the office, there's many diplomas on the walls, books lining the shelves, and even Roman busts decorating the room as the camera pans around to land on a nameplate on the desk: STEVEN RICHARDS, M.D. We seem to have run into Dr. Stevie again.. but who's he brought with him? Going over to the sitting area, we see Dr. Stevie in a blue shirt, black slacks and matching leather shoes, one leg crossed over the other as he holds his pad and pen on his lap. Across from him sits Daffney in an indian-styled position on the couch, dressed in a black t-shirt with the words "Eat Brains" above a depiction of a brain on it and black jeans - decorated with differently colored paint splotches, sans shoes. The tattoos of various styles and colors decorate her wrists and some remain unseen across her shoulderblades as her makeup depicts how truly messed up her mind is. Her mascara and eyeliner, along with her favorite black facepaint, was smeared clean up to her eyebrows and down to her cheeks, trailing down them in what seemed to be multiple teardrops. Her lipstick, almost as usual, was jet black and outlined her crazed smile.



PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
So Daffney.. tell me.. how do you feel, being accepted into a new company after what happened with the last one?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[Shrugs] The other one tanked. How'm I s'posed to feel? It ain't like I set fire to it with a few pretty bitches still in it.. [She laughs, obviously humored by her own idea of a joke, no matter how sick it is.]

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[He gives a wicked but grim smile.] Yes.. I don't think the so-called divas from your last job were too happy about that. They're still in the burn unit, as far as I'm aware. [He glances down at his legal pad.] I see here your new company is called UPW, hm? Who runs that, do you know?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She nods.] Shane McMahon. Just under him are his sister Stephanie and Vince Russo.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Okay, and do they have any champions established yet?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Mhm! Sting is the World Champion, Maryse is Starlets Champion, Triple H is the Television Champion, and Ted DiBiase Junior is the Gimmick Champion. They haven't picked a Tag Team Champion yet.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Good, good.. [He writes this down and mutters under his breath.] Doesn't seem like much of a challenge yet.. [He then looks back at her.] Have you signed your contract yet?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yes! It was in a nice, pretty black ink, too. I wanted Shane's red pen because it reminded me of blood, but he said no. [She pouts, looking down towards the floor, but her pouting stops when her eyes catch something.] OOH! DOLLIES!

Scrambling off of the couch, she grabs the 'dollies' and brings them back onto the couch with her. We now see that they're only Ken and Barbie dolls, probably something a child has left behind from one of thier sessions. She happily starts playing with them, making them dance and move.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
So Daffney, have you heard who you're to face for your debut yet?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Uh huh.. [She holds up the Barbie.] ..Sable.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[He points to the Barbie.] That's supposed to be Sable?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She nods.] Mhm.. and this.. [She holds up the Ken doll.] ..this is Brock Lesnar, her husband.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Okay, good. Now show me what you'll do to Sable.. when is it, Monday night?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She nods.] Yep. Well first, she's gonna run out of breath cause she's so damn old her lungs have turned to dust. [She makes the Barbie lay down, making a dying noise.] Then.. and then.. I'm gonna stomp on her! [She puts the Ken doll down so she can pound the Barbie with her fist.] Then.. I'm gonna squeeze her and twist her til her head POPS OFF!

Laughing, she rips the head off of the Barbie, looking like every little girl's evil big brother. Picking up the Ken doll again, she holds it up to show Dr. Stevie.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
And.. and.. yanno what? When they have a kid.. it's gonna look just like this! The ugliness, the baldness, the muscles, EVERYTHING! It's gonna look like a baby monkey from the zoo! Hell, baby monkies are cuter than this kid is gonna be! Can you imagine?! When an old grandma and an escapee from the ape exhibit at the zoo have a kid and the baby monkey is cuter than it is? That's just.. well, I'd say it's wrong, but it ain't.. it's just funny! [She laughs.] And yanno what? It's funny cause it's true! That's the scary part! [She laughs again.]

Just as Dr. Stevie starts to ask her another question, the door opens, revealing a very startled older man and a young woman.

PROFESSIONAL'S PROFESSIONAL || Dr. Abernathy
Just what is this?! And who the hell are you people?! What're you doing in my office?!

Dr. Stevie calmly gets up from the chair he was seated in, goes over to the desk, and grabs his nameplate before draping his suit jacket over his forearm. Swapping the nameplate to his other hand, he puts his hand flat on Daffney's back, between her shoulderblades as he looks at the man who's obviously the owner of this office.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Come on, Daffney. We'd better get you to the venue and see what needs to be done.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Kay!

The two of them leave the room, but before the real psychiatrist can shut the door and tend to his real patient, Daffney pokes her head back into the room, holding up the two dolls she'd found.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
I'm taking these! They're mine now! I found them!

Her maniacal laugh is heard echoing down the hallway as she happily skips after Dr. Stevie, who leads her to the front door of the building. Dr. Abernathy shakes his head in disbelief at the display he's just witnessed as the scene fades out.

SCENE 02: GUESS WHO'S HERE?!

Inside the HSBC Arena in Buffalo...

After that rather odd and uncomfortable moment after thier session in an obviously stolen office, Daffney and Dr. Stevie hopped aboard a plane headed for Buffalo. Buffalo.. the home of the Buffalo Wing, the Buffalo Bills, and.. this Monday, Xtreme X-Fire. The doors to the arena creak open, allowing entry for the two of them with Daffney still holding her dollies. The Sable one is still headless, unfortunately, but she doesn't seem to care. They have obviously made a stop somewhere in between the fake office and the arena since thier clothes have been changed. Daffney is now in a black and red corset with black jeans and leather stiletto heeled boots, while Dr. Stevie is in his 'official' black therapist's shirt, black slacks, and sneakers.

As they walk through the halls, searching for the women's locker room, they happen upon two or three guys in a triangle type formation talking amongst themselves. When they look up and see Daffney and Dr. Stevie, they make a hasty exit, bidding the third man goodbye as they walk off. Wondering why they'd left so fast, he turns around.. something Daffney squees happily about.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
JayBeeeeeee!!!

Laughing nervously, he manages an uncertain smile as Daffney throws her arms around him in a hug. Patting her back with one hand, he looks at Dr. Stevie as she lets go to stand beside him. Coming up to flank JB on his other side, Dr. Stevie smiles down at the smaller man.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Well well, JB. Didn't think I'd ever see you again. How's life treating you? [He waves the question off.] Don't bother answering. Why are you here?

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Well I've just been hired as a UPW interviewer, so here I am. The ink's not even dry on my contract yet. What about you two?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Daffney here.. [He extends his hand to Daffney, who grins.] ..has just been signed herself. She's a part of the roster, though.. not an insignificant interviewer like you. [He smirks at JB.] Tell you what.. as part of your introduction to UPW, your first interview can be with Daffney. How's that?

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
A-alright. That sounds fine. Daffney?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yes!

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Are you okay with that?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yes!

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Alright, um, let me find.. [He looks around and finally catches the eye of a cameraman, who rushes over and gets the film set to tape. Once things are rolling, JB grabs a mic from him and starts, looking at Dr. Stevie.] Dr. Stevie.. for those who haven't heard, could you repeat what you just told me?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Of course. I just told you that my patient, Daffney, is one of the newest.. [He holds up both hands, making quotation marks in the air.] ..starlets.. [He puts his hands back down in front of him.] ..on the UPW roster.



PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[Obviously Daffney isn't happy with JB asking Dr. Stevie the first question in her interview and makes it known to him. Putting her hands on her hips, she stares at him.] JB! I thought this was MY interview?! What're you doing asking HIM questions?! [She looks at Dr. Stevie.] No offense, Dr. Stevie.. [He shakes his head.] ..but if it's my interview, don't you think you should ask ME the questions?!

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
O-of course! Alright, Daffney, um..

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Beware the noob questions!

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
N-noob.. questions? [His face lights up and he gives a nervous laugh.] Right, right.. the noob questions. Got it.. um.. alright, Daffney.. the UPW management has sent out the lineup for this week's X-Fire show. I haven't gone over it in detail just yet, but have you? And if you have, what do you think of the matches made so far?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Ooo.. that's a good one. [She smiles.] Good job, JB! You get a cookie for NOT asking a noob question! I'd give you the cookie now, but I ate them all on the way over here. As far as the newest X-Fire lineup goes, I have seen it.. and I noticed how many talentless Barbies.. [She holds up her headless Barbie.] ..Barbies.. are actually already here. I have to say.. no matter what company I end up signing with, I ALWAYS see the damn talentless Barbies! What IS it with these people? Do they get paid a commission to hire the sluttiest hacks they can find, or what? It's REALLY fucking annoying. Why can't they hire more people like me? People who aren't scared to break a nail or get thier hair pulled. People who do more than bitchsmack a girl onto her ass or go on and on and need I say fucking ON about how hot they think they are and what they think thier rank ass deserves. I say they deserve a trip to the nearest women's clinic to have a Q-Tip shoved into their baby making holes just to prove they aren't the useless sluts I happen to know they are!

She sighs, shaking her head, looking somewhat in disbelief at JB, who looks rather surprised at this rant from her. Dr. Stevie, however, looks rather proud as she continues.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Really, JB! Now.. about the card itself. Like I said.. I saw it.. I had to to notice I was on it.. and it's pretty decent. I saw a lot of people I already know, and only a couple that I don't. Those I don't personally know, I know cause I saw em on my tv. [She grins, feeling proud of herself.] Those I don't know at all.. there's a couple of them.. like Jason Cross and Matt Sydal.. I probably need to get to know somehow.. but unless I'm against them or they hurt Dr. Stevie, I really don't care. They can fly to the moon for all I care, and I'd still ignore them. I'm just thinking about my match and only my match.

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Your match? You have a match? Against who?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yes, brainiac, I have a match. I wouldn't have said that if I didn't. Besides that, I probably wouldn't be getting PAID if I didn't so much as show up. Getting paid is very important! It allows for my sugar intake. Do you KNOW what that MEANS?! I'm sure you remember what happened the last time I went without sugar, JB.

Indeed he did. In Daffney's previous company, she had been put into a Monster's Ball Match. A match that required both participants to undergo twenty-four hours without food, water, or light of any kind while being confined to thierselves before a match in which they were allowed to weild any weapon they desired. She had been so far gone without her sugar she had thought he was God when he spoke to her since she couldn't see him but could still hear him. It had been an entertaining interview to say the least, and as credit to her ability, she had come out the victor of a very brutal match. A match she enjoyed greatly, despite the withholding of her favorite beverage. Numbly, he nodded.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Was it a good day for you or my opponent when I went without sugar, JB? [He shakes his head.] Didn't think so. So you see.. we all have big problems if I don't get paid. I only get paid if I show up.. so here I am.. ready to get paid. It's only a bonus that I'll get the opportunity to beat the living hell out of some Barbie doll. That just makes me enjoy my job more. Unfortunately, I don't have a Barbie to take apart this week.. unless she's a Barbie who got too close to an open flame.

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Well who exactly do you have, Daffney?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[The disgust is apparent in her voice as she tells him.] Sable. I have SABLE, the old bitch who's nearly Mae Young's age and needs to retire. Well.. Mae Young needs to retire, too.. but she's too busy shoving her stuff into other people's faces and showing off those wilted ass cow udders she calls boobies.

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Well to be honest, Sable only just arrived herself, Daffney. This is going to be her debut match as well.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She looks at him.] Are you for serious? This is her first match? [JB nods.] So she's gonna get to flaunt a zero and one record after this? [She laughs.] This is gonna be so cool! I get to take Geriatric Barbie apart! Know what I'm gonna do, JB?! Well do ya?! [JB shakes his head as she shows him her headless Barbie.] Well first, I'm gonna rip her arms off! [She proceeds to rip the doll's arms off, snapping the rubber bands on the inside of the torso.] Then.. I'm gonna break both her knees! [She bends the doll's legs out and up towards her chest, making the doll's knees now point backwards.] Then I'm gonna rip her head off... but since my dollie doesn't have a head anymore, just pretend you saw me rip it's head off. And then.. I'm gonna smash her to little peices! [Throwing the doll onto the floor, she stomps on it roughly and as hard as she can, snapping the torso from the hips, making the parts fly in opposite directions.] Her little ape-looking boytoy, Lesnar.. [She holds up the Ken doll and throws him onto the floor with the now decimated Barbie.] ..will be too busy pawing other men and making them scream to do anything about it! Trust me.. as perverted as it sounds, it really isn't. I don't bother watching the crap he calls wrestling anyhow. It's just a claim they throw out to get thier bloodsport paid for and on tv. It's boring, lasts far too long, and makes Dora the Explorer look like a show for college students with the vocabulary they use. It drives me crazy.. [She pauses.] Well.. crazier than I already am, anyhow. [She grins.]

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
I've told you before, Daffney. You're not crazy. The professionally accepted term is mentally disturbed.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
I don't care what it's called, I'm it.

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Well.. I think that's all I have for you right now, Daffney. It was nice and.. interesting.. to see you again, and I wish you luck in your match.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
I don't need luck, JB.. I have mental instability on my side. [She laughs maniacally as she goes over to Dr. Stevie and wraps her arms protectively around his waist. He, however, doesn't seem phased by it.]

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Alright.. well.. I'll see you later, then. Good talking to you.. [He nods to Dr. Stevie.] ..Dr. Stevie.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
JB. Good seeing you.

As the two of them walk off, obviously off to find the women's locker rooms as mentioned before, JB looks after them before the camera pans down to show the already forgotten and terrorized dolls that Daffney's left behind.