SCENE 00: THE FORWARD

The even numbers on our record have been disturbed by a loss.. not exactly what we wanted. Yet we're being rewarded with a title shot.. against Maryse.. with no cage and no other women. This definitely brings up a wtf moment, but hey.. we get a shot at gold again. Who's complaining? Certainly not us.

SCENE 01: SKITZ? NO, JUST CRAZY..

((The cameras catch up with Doctor Stevie and Daffney as they unpack after thier trip from the location of the last show to San Fran. Daffney is pulling out one of her many dresses from her luggage as she talks to Doctor Stevie, who's currently sitting on the bed, unbuttoning his shirt to change it.))

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Doctor Stevie? Last week, when Pamela called me skitzophrenic.. was she right? Do you think I am?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Daffney, it's best to ignore the useless, talentless morons who do nothing but talk off the top of thier head. For the record, no, you're not skitzophrenic, and as far as I am aware, you've never exhibited the symptoms. If you were, trust me, you'd be on the right medication for it. I would make sure of that.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
But she said I talk weird, saying 'we' instead of 'I'. Do I really do that? Have I done it and just not noticed it? And besides that, she says I'm a wannabe Victoria. Who the hell is Victoria? I've never heard of any Victoria.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
I wish I could say I haven't, but I have.. and you're nothing like her. You're far better, believe me.. and no, you don't talk in forms of multiples. You've only said we if it pertains to the both of us, and that's nothing worth noting.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
She wasn't even right about me watching Buffy. Angel, yeah, but Buffy? Definitely not. Even if I don't, I still know who Dru is.. and yeah, she's cool.. but I don't wanna be her. She's more like Baby from House of 1000 Corpses.. even if Baby came second. Besides.. even if I did turn out to be like Dru, I'm sure you have some meds to fix that, right?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Absolutely. You know I take care of my patients, Daffney. What kind of doctor would I be if I didn't? I most likely would have my liscense taken away if I didn't do what was best for you, and as you know, I still have it. So like I said.. stop listening to useless Barbies like her and do what you want. I'll take care of you as promised.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
....Does Alicia Fox count? Cause she said I need more meds since I act bipolar, even though I'm really talented, and I might go to Rain to get more meds. I mean.. I know where my meds come from, and it isn't her. You give me all my meds, Doctor Stevie! You make sure I get what I need.. I know you do. Why would I need to go to Rain?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Count as useless? Yes.. and as I've said, if you needed any other meds than what you currently have, I'll prescribe them. There's no need to go to Rain or anyone else, and since you can already realize this, I'll repeat something else.. nothing they say matters. Not even Maryse.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Ooh! Speaking of Frenchy, I have a match against her! I got it in an email.

((She whips out her iPhone and brings up the email to read it.))

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
((Reading from the email)) Dear Daffney.. we of the UPW staff are pleased to inform you that you have a Starlet's World title match against Maryse this Sunday at Boiling Point. We know you will make the most of this opportunity. Good luck. ((Shows Stevie the email as proof)) See? Says it right there!

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Daffney.. what are you doing with a cell phone? I expressly told you that you're not allowed to have one.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
But.. match against Maryse!

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Give it here. As of now, your phone is confiscated. You're not to get another one without permission, is that clear?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
But what about my match? My title match! I have one! Read the email!

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
((Takes the phone, glancing at the email, before turning it off and putting it in his pocket)) Your match isn't depending on the fact that you have a phone. While I am proud of you for receiving a title match, I already knew it. So did you. We went to Shane at X-Fire, remember?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Oh, yeah.. ((She goes silent for a minute before turning back to her bag and bringing out more peices of her outfit.)) I can win this, Doctor Stevie.. I know I can. With no other chicks stopping me, I can do this. I know you'll be there to watch my back.. so as long as you're there, I know nothing horrible'll happen to me. If she tries to get other people involved, we can handle them.. right?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
You know we can, Daffney. Now go get a shower and we'll go downstairs to get something to eat before heading to the arena.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Kay.

((Before heading into the bathroom, she turns to him to ask something else.))

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Doctor Stevie? Do you think I can win this? I know I can if nobody else comes in to help her.. but what do you think?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
It's just like you said. You can win and will win if nobody comes in to help her.. but you know the S-E-S won't let that happen. They win at any cost, and unfortunately, that's what they think it'll take for her to keep that nice little belt of hers. They're going to find out something, though.. ((He grins sadistically.)) ..they're right.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yes! ((Laughs)) I'll rip her pretty blonde hair out of her head and throw it at them so Serena can have a new wig. Girl looks like crap bald, anyhow. I wouldn't join S-E-S even if they paid me. Know why? Cause I don't wanna be bald, I don't wanna be away from you, and I can't be off my meds. The meds are important.. otherwise you wouldn't give em to me. I might need you to write one more prescription up after the pay-per-view, though.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Why's that?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Cause Maryse is gonna need a year's worth of painkillers just to move a FINGER after I get done with her!

((Laughing, Daffney carries her gathered clothes into the bathroom and shuts the door before turning on the water in the tub. Doctor Stevie continues to get ready himself as the scene fades out.))

SCENE 02: MARYSE IS A GUY?

((Inside the hotel's restaurant, they now sit at a table, eating lunch before they head to the arena. In the midst of the swanky looking decor, they stand out much more than normal since everything is a brown or champagne color and they are in black with hints of purple (in Daffney's case) or blue (for Stevie).))

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
So I know you've studied Maryse, both for your last title match with her and this one. What have you learned?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
I missed something last time. She has an odd tattoo.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Really? You have many tattoos.. she only has a few. What's so odd about this one?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
It says "guy".

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
And what do you think this specific tattoo means?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
That Rain's been right all along.. she is a guy.. and she has the label to prove it.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Can you explain your reasoning?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
What else would it be for, Doctor Stevie?! Why else do you label something? The doctor labeled her a guy so he wouldn't get her mixed up with someone else's ugly kid. She was originally a boy, but so many people were so turned off by her, she got a sex change. I thought it would be obvious. I mean.. Rain got it.. so why can't everyone else? I really wouldn't have known it if I hadn't seen the tattoo.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
So why hasn't anyone else figured this out if it's true? Where's this label?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
She has it cleverly hidden.. it's on the inside of her wrist. She always keeps it turned away from the cameras during photoshoots or covered in concealer. Why else would she hide it? Unless..

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Unless what?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Unless she's cheating on Punk or whoever she's with this week, and she got his name tattooed on her wrist. That's the only other possibility. She likes this one flavor of the week so much, she got his name permanently inked on her wrist. I mean.. Punk has an ex's name on his shoulder, so why not? I think he's gotten it covered up by Pepsi logos by now, though. And that's another thing.. if he can't stand people who are addicted to stuff, then what's with the Pepsi obsession? We all know caffiene is an addicting thing.. hell, Coke is called Coke cause it used to have cocaine in it! What makes Pepsi any different?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Because it's by a different company. Now get back on target.. Maryse.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yeaaaah.. Maryyyyse. The man who was so ugly, he needed a sex change to be accepted... you know, she says her name is pronounced Mah-eese or Mah-leese.. something like that. My question is.. who the hell cares? She isn't important enough to matter, much less say her name right. Hell, I still have to pay her ass back for DDTing me on the title.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
And nearly shaving your head.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yes! I nearly forgot about that! She thinks just cause she's with the uber annoying S-E-S that she's entitled to shave heads? Not in the least. She coulda scalped me! Yeah, I don't mind pain.. in fact, thanks to you, I've learned how to use it to my advantage.. but that's not my point. She has no business with anything sharp anywhere near her, just like me. If she thinks she's gonna make good on that this go round, she has another thing coming. There's no way that I'm gonna let that Mountie's horse replacement get one over on me.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
At one point, she actually said that you only grinned at her after she DDTed you on the title because you were delirious from the impact due to your hard head.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Delirious my ass. I'm no more delirious than that old guy over there slurping his soup like an ill-mannered five year old. I grinned at her to let her know that I was gonna get her hass one way or another and I wasn't gonna stop til I did. As you can see, I haven't stopped yet, so on we go.. and even after I beat her, I'm not gonna stop. ((Grins)) But I am gonna make her beg for a rematch to see if she can get it back.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Do you think she will?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Hell no. Miss Princess wouldn't beg if it was her middle name.. but she's gonna want the title back eventually.. and that's my chance. I'mma be like 'You want this title? Huh? Then beg me for a shot! Beg me! I wanna see you do it! Then after that, go see Shane and ask him. If he's feeling nice, he MIGHT help you.' ((Laughs)) Course he'll do it for her cause she and S-E-S are all powerful and crap, but that's not my point. Point is, I'm gonna love hearing her whine, cry and beg for a rematch once I have the shiny in my hands.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
What if she doesn't? She can still go to Shane and get a match, just like we did.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yeah.. she could.. but he'll prolly make her wait. Title matches reserved for pay-per-views and all that. That'll really piss her off.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Then she'll bitch and whine to Shane or Punk and get her way anyhow.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Pfft.. doubt it. Punk, definitely.. Shane, nah. He does what he wants, regardless of what the people involved think. He's a good bit like his father in that sense.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
So you're saying no matter what she does, she won't get a rematch til next month.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Probably. That's how it usually goes, anyhow. They only ignore that for special occasions, and nothing including Maryse is a special occasion.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
She won't like that.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
And so? She doesn't like a lot of things! Americans, women other than herself, men with brains, having to defend her precious little title.. what's one little insult in a line of them? It's like looking for a tree in the middle of a forest. No matter where you look, you see a tree, and they all look the same. Just like blonde chicks.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Alright.. well finish your food and we'll head to the arena. I wanna make sure we weren't looked over on the list of approved roster members. Shane may be competent, but I highly doubt his assistants are.

((Stevie falls silent as Daffney finally stops talking and gets back to eating lunch, making the scene fade out.))

SCENE 03: CHECKING IN WITH A FRIEND

((Inside the COW Palace, Doctor Stevie and Daffney stop at the office to make sure they're accounted for on the roster for tonight.))

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Yes.. I'm here from UPW, and I've come to make sure that my patient Daffney and I are on the approved list for tonight.

PROFESSIONAL SECURITY || Tim
Alright.. well I'll need both of your liscenses to confirm your names.

((Pulling his wallet out, he produces both cards as Daffney looks on in interest.))

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
I've got it here, Daffney. Go explore.. or whatever it is you do.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Okay.. can I get a soda if I find a machine? Pretty please?

((After debating with himself for a moment, he reaches into his wallet and brings out a dollar bill, handing it to her.))

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
I want the change back. Understand? Only one soda.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Got it. One soda. Bring the change back.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Thank you. Now go.

((Skipping off with her soda money, she starts wandering through the halls, stopping by the soda machine to get something to drink. After opening her soda, she turns and sees a familiar face.. so far, the only one who's been any sort of kind to her. Sitting on one of the storage trunks, she swings her feet back and forth like a small child as she talks.))

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Hey, so I guess my advice didn't work out after all, huh? He left you by your little lonesome to lose.

PROFESSIONAL X-TREMIST || Alexis Laree
Yeah, well screw him.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Agreed.. just.. not literally. He's kinda disturbing.. and coming from me, that means something. I take it Mitchell blames you as usual?

PROFESSIONAL X-TREMIST || Alexis Laree
((Laughs)) He tried..but I ripped him a new one. He won't be fucking with me again, and if he does, he is out.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
You.. took on Mitchell? ((Grins)) Now that I gotta see. I've been waiting for years for someone to tell him off, and when it finally happens, I'm not there. Just my luck. ((Sips her soda)) So if you've gotta get rid of him, who're you gonna get to watch your back?

PROFESSIONAL X-TREMIST || Alexis Laree
Well, I am not sure yet, but right now, he is still around.. but like I told him. If he fucks me over again or even tries it.. I would put a pole so far up his ass while kicking him out of UPW that he won't be able to walk.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
((Laughs)) It probably isn't a good thing, but I think I'm rubbing off on you. ((Pauses)) Sounds like you have a pretty tough match Sunday.. a few of those women I've already faced. Granted, they kicked my ass, but I faced em. ((Laughs))

PROFESSIONAL X-TREMIST || Alexis Laree
I've faced Eve before. As for the rest, they don't want to deal with the awakened beast inside of me now.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
((Grins)) Oh, I know how that is. It can be fun to unleash the inner beast, though.. mostly when people least expect it. Especially then. Like Maryse this Sunday.

PROFESSIONAL X-TREMIST || Alexis Laree
I got to give it to you..that was smart to go when you did to Shane.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Oh, that wasn't my idea. That was Stevie's. He's always been quicker mentally than I am, hence why we got the jump on the other little useless chicks.. cept you. You're not useless.. least I don't think so.

PROFESSIONAL X-TREMIST || Alexis Laree
Thanks.. I don't consider myself useless either. ((Grins))

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
You're not.. no matter what Mitchell says.. and you know somethin? If you do get rid of Mitchell, you should look into getting Raven back. He's done a lot of wicked things, but he's a good dude.

PROFESSIONAL X-TREMIST || Alexis Laree
Raven is in the past right now and I am not going to allow something like that to happen again.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
I don't blame you. I wouldn't either. Just keep your guard up and never take anything or anyone at face value.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Daffney, come on.. we're done here. ((Nods)) Alexis.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Kay.. bye, Lexi.

PROFESSIONAL X-TREMIST || Alexis Laree
((Nods to Stevie)) Stevie. ((Smiles at Daffney)) See ya, Daff.

((Catching up with Stevie, she puts her hand in his pocket to give his change back. Sipping on her soda, she lets her fingers linger in his pocket, hooking them onto the side.))

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
So how long were you standing there?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Long enough to know you think she should take Raven back.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Actually I don't. I only said she should look into it if she gets rid of Mitchell. You know that evil bastard won't allow that, so don't even begin to think it.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
You know.. you're really one to talk about taking things and people at face value.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Why's that?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
You're trusting her, and you don't know a damn thing about her. What if she screws you over? She could be playing you for a fool, and when you find out, that's going to set your therapy back for months, possibly even years.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
I trust her with very little, Doctor Stevie. All we ever talk about is what's going on with us in UPW. That's it.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
So I'm just imagining that you told her about us? ((She stays silent, to which he nods.)) That's what I thought. Ever heard of doctor-patient confidentiality, Daffney? Some things aren't to be repeated or ever spoken about, especially things like that.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Sorry, Doctor Stevie.. I didn't know that.. I just thought since Lexi and I were friends..

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Oh, so it's Lexi now? Not Alexis? That's quite a change. I've never heard of you giving anyone a nickname before unless it's an insulting one, so why her?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
I told you.. she's my friend.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
For now. She's your friend for now. Wait til you have Maryse's title.. see who's your friend then.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
She will be. I know it. I'll give her a shot if Shane wants me to.. but we'll still be friends.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Yeah.. keep thinking that.. then watch her prove you wrong. They always do.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yeah, but you know who's not gonna prove me wrong? Maryse. I'm gonna win this match and her title, and she's gonna be the one proven wrong.

((Doctor Stevie nods as they head back out to the parking lot, straight to their rental car. As he and Daffney climb in, the scene fades out.))