SCENE
00: THE FORWARD
We won last week.. which is good.. but can we continue it? This week we're in a tag match..
our first one here. Us and Alexis against The Beautiful
Bimbos People. Yeah.. beautiful
our ass.. not when we get done with them.
SCENE
01: PARTNERS ARE FRIENDS, NOT PUNCHING
BAGS.
Coming out of a win against Natalya, we should.. note the word should.. get to deal with a
happy Daffney this week, but only time will tell. Today we find her and Dr. Stevie inside their
hotel room, getting ready for an outing. They have seemingly just arrived in Erie, since Dr. Stevie
is seen tossing thier plane tickets onto the bedside table. He sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed
as Daffney goes through her makeup kit. Not surprisingly, it's filled with green, black, red, and
purple, among other darker colors. Dr. Stevie presses his fingertips to the bandaid that protects
the injury he recieved against Natalya, David, and Tyson and frowns.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
I truly am proud of you, Daffney. You said you would win, and you did. Unfortunately little
Nattie's boytoys had to jump in and I had to get involved, but that's no matter. That's now the
past, and this is the present. The present says that Alexis and yourself are to battle the Beautiful
People in the Women's Tag Team tournament. Should John Morrison or Madison Rayne get
involved... well, I'll simply have to show them where they stand against us.. on the other side of
the talent spectrum.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[Still going through her makeup] I need more red.. and black. I'm running out.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Those women will learn not to screw with the psychos. I may be your therapist, but as they say,
it takes crazy to know crazy. I wouldn't be able to identify your problems if I didn't have some
of the same things wrong with me.
[He grinned.] Such as Sadistic Personality
Disorder.. Antisocial Personality Disorder..
[He paused, thinking.] I honestly think the
Beautiful People have a problem themselves.. called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In thier
case, I would subcategorize them as an Amorous Narcissist.. characterized by a pattern of
excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and
inappropriate seductiveness.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[Uncaps one of her tubes of facepaint] See.. it's barely useable.. I need more.
[Pauses] Who do you think sells these?
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
If they are truly what and who I think they are, they won't like it a bit when you leave them a
battered, bloody mess in the middle of the ring like we did to Natalya, Tyson, and David.
[He gets a sick smile on his face.] I hope we get to do that again.. I loved that.. it's the most
fun I've had in awhile. Seeing thier faces all bloodied and bruised.. seeing the shocked and
surprised looks just before metal connected with bone.. hearing the hollow sound as it echoed
throughout the arena.. hearing the cheers of the fans as they witnessed it..
[He sighed at the
obviously fond memories.] Absolute bliss.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yanno what's absolute bliss?
[She showed him her favorite tube of facepaint.] This
color.. and I'm almost out of it. I need.. no, I want a replacement. Now am I going to get it, or
what?
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[He looks at her over his shoulder.] Have you heard anything I've said?
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Nope.. but have you heard me? I
need more makeup! I'm running
out!
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Alright, alright. Get ready, and we'll go see what the stores around here have.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yay! We get to go
shopping!
As Daffney gets up off of where she had knelt by the edge of the bed to dump her makeup
bag on the bed, Dr. Stevie simply shakes his head and wonders what sort of chaos they'll get
into this week.. and if a trip to Bellevue is in order after all. Daffney, going into the bathroom to
check her makeup, closes the door almost all of the way, but leaves a sizeable gap to where she
can hear Stevie if he talks to her.. and he does.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
You are aware of who you're against this week and what's at stake, right?
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Why don't you enlighten me?
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
You and Alexis are against the Beautiful People.. and it's a tournament for the Women's Tag
Team Titles.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She perks up, looking out of the gap at him from the bathroom.] Are you serious? I
get shinies if I win?
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Well.. yeah. You and Alexis share the.. shinies, actually. You each get one.. and it's up to both
of you to keep them for as long as you can.. so don't hurt her. You may not think it, but you
need her.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She makes a face and mutters as she goes back to checking her appearance.] I don't
need her.. if anything, she needs me.. and she needs to get rid of Mitchell. He's only gonna get
her into trouble.. or worse.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
What about Raven? Do we trust him?
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She paused to think about this and her history with him, which was a lengthy one.]
Yeah.. for now. He hasn't wronged me yet.. and you've known him longer than I have. I think I
should be asking you that, in all honesty.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
True.. and I think we can trust him til he gives us a reason not to.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Good. Less we have to deal with.
There was an odd silence that lingered between them for a few minutes until Stevie spoke
again.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Care to know who else you and Alexis may be up against besides the Beautiful People?
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She comes out of the bathroom fixing her corset and skirt.] Sure.. go for it. Who do
we have?
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
For the moment, unless there's other teams added, there's only three others. Stacy Keibler-
McMahon and Torrie Wilson, Sable and some mystery partner, and Leyla Milani and Melina
Perez.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She gives him an 'are you kidding me?' look.] Are you serious? That's it?
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
With how you did against Sable the first time, I wouldn't be so arrogant. She could take you out
again and you and Alexis would be out of the title running. Is that what you want? To lose your
chance at gold?
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
No. I'll.. we'll beat her and whoever she chooses.. I promise it. Now come on.. new makeup
waits for no psycho.
Getting up from the bed, he goes to the door and opens it, letting her leave the room first.
When she's out, he flips the lightswitch, putting the room in darkness just before he leaves and
shuts the door.
SCENE
02: MAKE ME PRETTY!
It doesn't take him long to find out the answer to his question once they make the rounds of
the city, looking for Daffney's beloved facepaint and makeup. They'd gone to three different
stores so far with no luck and a ton of odd glances, which Daffney hadn't seemed to notice. She
simply kept on being herself as he simply watched, to make sure she wasn't hurting herself or
others, as she was want to do with her type of mental diseases.
The last place they chose to stop was, oddly enough, Avon. Shoving open the large double glass
doors, Daffney happily walked in, her eyes drawn to the many shiny things on shelves and racks
displayed around the store, which honestly made him rather nervous. As she started forward to
browse, a salesgirl came up to them, dressed in a bright pastel pink uniform that reminded him of
the ones on Edward Scissorhands.. just minus the stupid little cap.
PROFESSIONAL AIRHEAD || Salesgirl
Raychel
Hi! Welcome to Avon! I'm Raychel. Is there anything I can help you with?
Daffney, attuned to the new voice and the fact that it isn't directed at her, but at her precious
Dr. Stevie, turns around and practically corners the girl against the counter.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yes! There IS something you can help ME with. I want to replace my makeup and facepaint.
It's gotten used down to practically nothing, and I need more. I've searched three stores so far
with nothing to show for it except a headache from dealing with stupid saleschicks like you.
Now can you help me, or will you simply stand there like a stupid anime victim with your eyes all
wide and blinky, going uuuuuh?
True to Daffney's depiction, the girl stands there like a complete dunce for a few minutes,
her eyes wide at the goth's display of rabid doggedness. Slowly, she points to the racks behind
Daffney, where all of the makeup is at.
PROFESSIONAL AIRHEAD || Salesgirl
Raychel
I.. don't know about facepaint.. that would probably be at Party City, over on Keystone.. but
the regular makeup is right over here.. I could.. show you, if you want.
Daffney smirks at her, doing her best to restrain herself from strangling the do-nothing,
know-nothing girl. Stevie, who has simply stood by the whole time, is looking rather proudly at
Daffney, for reasons we have yet to find out.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
THANK you! FINALLY.. someone with some SEMBLANCE of a brain! I was starting to
think one didn't exist in this whole freakin city! Nice to know you could show me I was wrong..
[She glances down at the girl's nametag.] ..
Raychel... and no.. I DON'T need
your help. I can find it just fine on my own.. THANK you.
Daffney turns to head towards the makeup aisle where Stevie is now waiting on her, but
turns back to Raychel, who still looks somewhat terrified.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
By the way.. I may be a bit..
[She searches for the word.] ..
off in the head, but
even
I know how to spell Rachel.. and it ain't like that. Go back to school, for pity's
sake.. learn how to spell your own name.. then teach it to your mother, who apparently chose
the name
for you.
Going over to join Stevie in the aisle, she sighs, shaking her head at the girl and her
"obvious" stupidity.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
I swear.. stupid
and illiterate.. how much worse can it get in this town?
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
I don't know, but I
am proud of you, Daffney. You told the girl what you wanted and
didn't beat her to a pulp to get your point across. Granted, it would've been much more fun to
watch if you had, and it would've made my day just that much brighter, but I'm still proud of you.
Now if you can hold your composure against Alexis like that, we'll be fine.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She beams with pride as she picks up a tube of bright red lipstick.] Thank you! I'm
proud of me, too.
[She looks around the aisle for something.] Do you see a mirror I
could use laying around?
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[He looks around and spots one, pointing to it.] Right there..
[He continues as she
grabs it.] ..but that's just proof that you can do well if you try. If you exert that sort of
control when Alexis makes you mad, just think of what you could build up and unleash on your
opponents. They'd be torn apart within seconds.. and it'd be beautiful.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yeah, it would, wouldn't it? Could you imagine? Velvet and Angelina, spread out across the
ring.. and not like the pervy ass men want, either. Bleeding from every pore.. filayed like fishies,
sliced open from throat to pelvic bone.. thier bottled blonde hair turned red from their blood..
looks of horror registered on thier faces.. thier dead, sky blue eyes staring up at the ceiling at
nothing.. thier souls long gone from thier bodies..
[She smiles sickly as she caps the red
lipstick and puts it back.] Wouldn't you just love that, Dr. Stevie?
Slowly, almost methodically, a smile just as sick and twisted as Daffney's comes across
Stevie's face, his eyes lit up happily as he comes up behind her, putting his hands on her waist.
He seems to be enjoying the picture she's painting for him.. the look on his face showing an
emotion that could almost be described as turned on. He inhales the scent of her hair as he looks
over her shoulder at her.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Yes.. yes, I would.. that would make our win that much more fun.. that much more lingering. ALl
of UPW would look at something like that and go 'I want that.. I want to win like that.. I want to
make a statement just like they did.' Of course it won't be possible for them because they're not
clinically insane like you and I are, but they could certainly try.. and end up failing miserably.
He laughs, the sound sounding like a purr coming from deep in his throat as she grabs a fat
brow liner pencil in black and begins using it as she continues her thought.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
When we get to the next stage of the tournament, we'll face more pretty people.. if you can
count Sable as being pretty, provided it's her.. and do the same thing.. maybe worse. A few
body parts here, a few organs there, blood spatter everywhere.. it'll look like a crime scene from
CSI or something. Of course they won't be able to arrest me.. I'm on record as being mentally
unstable.. they'll say it came with the responsibility of hiring me, knowing I'm not all here. I don't
know if it'll be covered in the insurance, but what do I care? If I'm not responsible for it, then I
don't have to pay for damages, either. It'll be up to them to pay for the cleaning bill to get the
blood stains out of the mat.. to cover up whatever media stories it produces.. to pay off the
lawyers, cops, and whatever else. None of it'll be up to me.. I'm cleared by your sessions.
He steps away from her to catch his breath, obviously pleased by her words and imagery,
still smiling that sick smile that they seem to share.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Have I ever told you that I love the way you think sometimes? You really are an amazing
woman, Daffney. It's such a pleasure to work with you and be your doctor, I really can't even
begin to...
As he turns to where she was standing a moment ago, he's met by empty space, her brow
pencil and mirror put back in thier places. His expression turns to confusion as he looks around
for her.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Daffney? Daffney.. where are you?
Stepping out of the aisle, he sees the store patrons gathered around a display table near the
middle of the store, looking up at something. Following thier gaze, he soon finds out just what
they're so intrigued by. Daffney, who has fashioned facepaint out of the red lipstick and black
brow pencil, is standing on the display, smiling happily.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Look at me, Dr. Stevie! I'm Harley Quinn! Don't you wanna come up here and be my Joker?
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[Muttering] Oh, dear Lord..
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Come on, Dr. Stevie! You'd be an awesome Joker! Not as awesome as Heath Ledger, but
awesome enough. Go make you a mask like I did and get up here!
The patrons, now confused and mildly annoyed, look back at him, most likely hoping he
doesn't do as she's asked. Moving forward, he grabs her wrist and pulls her down from there,
making her join him on the floor. Not letting go, he moves towards the door and is almost free to
leave until the salesgirl from before blocks his path.
PROFESSIONAL AIRHEAD || Salesgirl
Raychel
Not so fast! She used lipstick and a brow pencil to do this, and someone needs to pay for it!
You can't just use products and put them back on the shelf like that! That's rude, inconsiderate,
and most of all, it's disgusting! Now what do you intend to do about this?
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Daffney, go get the lipstick and brow pencil you used for this.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Okay!
As she skips off and does what she was told, he goes up to the salesgirl as he pulls out his
wallet.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
I do apologize for this. She's.. mentally unwell, and I'm her therapist. I took her out today so she
could buy some makeup to replace what she'd run out of. I had no idea she'd do this.
As Daffney comes back with an armload of stuff, including the two items she'd used for her
mask, the salesgirl goes back behind the counter to ring it all up.
PROFESSIONAL AIRHEAD || Salesgirl
Raychel
Well you really should've known better then, huh? Bringing a psycho like her out here with all of
us normal people! How dare you endanger all of our lives like this?!
Like a rabid dog, Stevie rounds the counter and pins the girl against the wall behind her, his
hand pressed to her throat as his face hovers inches from hers.
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Well UNlike you so called normal people, we proven
psychos get paid a HELL of a lot
more than YOU to take out others JUST like you night after night. We do what we wish, travel
the world, destroy those who would do us harm, and get paid richly for it.. what do you do?
Stand back here and show the hideously ugly how to cover it all up with products made of wax
and food coloring? Any monkey with half a brain could do that! Now.. I ask you.. are you going
to charge us for these items and keep your mouth shut, or will I have to teach you a lesson about
playing nice with others?
The girl, clearly more terrified of him than she ever was of Daffney, shakes her head, her
eyes wide.
PROFESSIONAL AIRHEAD || Salesgirl
Raychel
No.. no, no.. she.. she can have them.. all of them.. just.. take what you want and go! Get out of
here.. please!
PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Oh, well that's very nice of you,
Raychel..
[He looks at Daffney, who snatches a bag
from behind the counter and just rakes all of her goodies into it.] Tell the nice lady thank
you, Daffney, and we'll go.
PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[She's almost out the door with a bag full of items she most likely chose at random in her
hands.] Thank you!
Walking away from the girl, Stevie joins Daffney at her side and they leave the store,
catching a cab at the corner. Meanwhile the salegirl slides to the floor behind the counter,
seeimingly close to tears after what she's been through today.. when she should be very thankful
that she isn't one of the Beautiful People. FADE SCENE OUT