SCENE 00: THE FORWARD

Well.. at least things are even now.. two, two, and two. Next up is a fatal four way with Alicia Fox, Pamela Paulshock, and Melina Perez. Fun.. or it would be if Dr. Stevie didn’t have other plans..

SCENE 01: REPROGRAMMING IN SESSION..

[ « ] As we catch up with Dr. Stevie and Daffney this week, we find Dr. Stevie leaning with his back against a large metal door. The door looks to be very thick - at least two inches, if not more - and has only one window, which is currently covered with black paint. The door is jarred just a bit as someone bangs on it from the inside. He sighs, obviously having dealt with this for some time now. [ » ]

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Forget it, Daffney. I'm not letting you out. This is for your own good.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
« Whimpering » But Doctor Stevieeeee~! Why do I need to be in heeeere? I've been good! I've done everything you've told me to do!

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
No, Daffney, you haven't. You've run around like a child since you've arrived here, and that is why you're being punished now. You've also got two losses on your record, along with two no contest determinations. That isn't good, Daffney.. not good at all.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
I have two wins! Isn't that good? And.. and I'm so good, Shane gave me a shot at Maryse's title!

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
A shot which you lost. Two wins don't mean anything if you can't win a title for yourself, Daffney.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
But Doctor Stevie! In here.. in here there's no soda.. no light.. no mini cupcakes.. no little duckie that goes quack.. no music.. barely any fresh air.. what am I gonna do in here?! I'm gonna go crazy from boredom, and that.. that's gonna set my therapy back at least a few months!

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
No.. it won't. I'm your therapist, remember? I know what sets you back and what doesn't.. and this will help you, if nothing else. At least in there, there's no annoying Jeremy Borash or whomever else wants a damned interview this week.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
That's true, but... NO SODA! Without soda, I'm pretty sure my head'll cave in, Doctor Stevie! Do you wanna see my head cave in? Do you?!

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Your head won't cave in, Daffney, trust me. You'll be fine. Take a nap or something.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Nap for days?! I can't do that, Doctor Stevie! A few hours, maybe, but not days! Come ooooon!

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Do you see how you're acting right now? Do you? That's exactly what got you here, Daffney, and exactly what I'm trying to stop.

[ « ] As Daffney continues complaining and Doctor Stevie does his best to ignore her, JB comes around the corner, and as usual, he's looking for an interview. As he's spotted, Doctor Stevie sighs, muttering under his breath. [ » ]

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Maybe I spoke too soon..

[ « ] JB nears him with the excitement and energy of a small, stupid puppy looking for someone to throw a frisbee with as Doctor Stevie's cold blue eyes watch his every move. Doctor Stevie extends his hand and JB grasps it for a handshake, but when JB goes to let go, Doctor Stevie doesn't. Instead he stares him down, using his most commonly used intimidation technique. He only lets go when he feels like it, which is when JB is squirming uncomfortably. [ » ]

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Hey, Doctor Stevie. I, um, came down this hall, thinking I heard Daffney, but I guess not. I was hoping to get an interview with her about her match.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Hello, JB.. and yes, you heard Daffney, but she's.. indisposed of right now. You mentioned a match.. who is Daffney against this week?

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Oh, um.. « He pulled a peice of paper, obviously the card for this week, out of his pocket. » ..Melina Perez, Pamela Paulshock, and Alicia Fox. It's a fatal four way.. but that's the only stipulation I see.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
More useless Barbies, I see.. how very typical. I'm sure Daffney will comment on them later when she's a little less busy.

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Of course.. I'm sure she will. Um.. while I'm here, do you mind giving me an interview from your point of view? I'm sure you have an interesting opinion, seeing that you're a psychiatrist and all.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
As long as you don't ask asinine questions, I'd be more than happy to tell you what I know.

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Alright.. good. Um, first of all, how is Daffney's therapy going? Is she progressing as well as you'd like her to?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Not that it's any of your business, but she needed a.. reprogramming, if you will.. so I've given her what she needs to complete that. Aside from that bit of information, everything else is classified to people like you.

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
A.. a reprogramming? What's that consist of? Can you tell me that much?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Just what does classified mean to you, JB? Does it mean an all out information-fest? Does it mean that you can ask anything you want and still get your answers?

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
N-no.. I.. don't think it does..

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Damn right it doesn't. Now ask something else or get lost.

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Right.. um.. Daffney's alignment with Mitchell and Alexis Laree.. is that still in place, or has it dissolved since Alexis' newest alignment with Vampiro?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
I think that's best answered by Daffney.

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Fine.. just fine.. how about your relationship with Daffney? Can you give me any insight on that, at least?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
What about my relationship with Daffney? What is it you find interesting or probative? Are you hoping for something to be there? Are you wanting to know if it goes past doctor patient confidentiality? Are you that sick minded? Are you the one in need of therapy, JB? Do you really think I'd do something with one of my patients? That's despicable.. just horrible. Ask another question like that, and I'll consider giving you free therapy sessions.. that's just wrong, JB.

PROFESSIONAL IDIOT || "JB" Jeremy Borash
Then tell me, Doctor Stevie, what sort of questions should I be asking you? According to you, everything is either off limits or tells you I'm in need of therapy.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
You've finally got it, JB. It took you awhile, but you've got it. Congratulations. Now get lost. I've got work to do before Monday with Daffney, and it may take awhile longer than planned since you decided to halt everything with your little interview.

[ « ] Without complaint, even though he looks like he wants to, JB walks off in search of a new subject to interview, leaving Doctor Stevie alone with Daffney once again. [ » ]

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Now again, Daffney.. this is for your own good..

[ « ] Fade scene out. [ » ]

SCENE 02: BRAND NEW PSYCHO?

[ « ] When we come back, we're met with a guy as yet unseen on UPW-TV, sitting on silver leather furniture with a set looking like it just came out of the local junkyard behind him. He nods at the camera, and obviously past it to the fans in greeting as he introduces himself. [ » ]

PROFESSIONAL NEWBIE || Hermie
Welcome to the show, UPW fans. I'm Hermie Sadler, and this is the first ever edition of Hermie's Hotseat. Today we'll be talking to UPW starlet Daffney about her time here so far and what she thinks about her upcoming match at X-Fire. «He stands up.» Please help me in welcoming her. Come on in, Daffney.

[ « ] Daffney does indeed come in, dressed in a black and purple corset and skirt set with her black boots and leather collar on, but instead of sitting on the provided couch, she takes a seat on the wheel next to his chair. Before Hermie can ask her why she's done this, Doctor Stevie comes in right behind her and grasps Hermie's hand, obviously working his intimidation technique again. It works a second time as Hermie can barely get a sentence out without stuttering. [ » ]

PROFESSIONAL NEWBIE || Hermie
D-Doctor Stevie.. um, I.. didn't expect you'd be here with her.. what, um, what's the reason for that?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Well let's take a seat first, and I'll tell you exactly why I'm here, Hermie.

[ « ] Hermie sits down in his previous spot as he was told to, but Doctor Stevie follows him, nearly shoving him out of the seat and onto the floor when he sits down beside him, taking up half or more than half of the seat. Hermie is clearly unnerved by this and isn't used to having a guy Doctor Stevie's size sitting so close to him. This is made worse when Doctor Stevie put his arm around his shoulder and holds him in his seat. [ » ]

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
What, Hermie? Am I making you uncomfortable? Do you not like me sitting so close? Does it make you nervous? Tough. Get used to it.. because where Daffney goes, I go. I am her doctor, after all, and she needs my guidance. As to why I'm here, it's simple. I'm here to make sure you don't ask any questions that might hinder or otherwise set her therapy back. It's very easy to do this, as she is a very fragile but beautiful woman. Think of her.. think of her as a flower, Hermie. A very beautiful thing that can last a long time if you leave her be in her natural setting.. but if you try to remove her from that setting.. if you disturb her, she could fall apart, just like that. You wouldn't want to be the cause of her breakdown, would you, Hermie? No, of course not.. so that's why I'm here. To protect the beautiful flower that is Daffney. Now go ahead and ask your questions.

[ « ] Once he finds his voice again, Hermie nods and replies, still visibly nervous. [ » ]

PROFESSIONAL NEWBIE || Hermie
Yes, Doctor Stevie.. I understand. I'll try not to ask any unneccesary questions. «He looks at Daffney, who looks perfectly content to be here as long as her Doctor Stevie is nearby.» Daffney, your record here is dead even.. two wins, two losses, and two no contest determinations. To most, that would be acceptable, but you don't look happy. Why is that?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Don't look happy? Why don't I look happy to you? I'm perfectly fine, Hermie. I'm calm.. I'm stable.. for now, and as you said, I have a dead even record across the board. Why wouldn't I be happy? Well I'll tell you why.. because I have yet to get my hands on those little Beautiful Barbies! Them, and anyone else who's pissed me off lately. They all deserve to be taken apart and melted down, and once I get started on that, I'm not going to stop until every last so-called starlet is taken out.

PROFESSIONAL NEWBIE || Hermie
Well back in the day..

[ « ] Before he can finish his thought, he feels a tapping feeling on his shoulder. Turning, he's met face to face with Doctor Stevie, who shakes his head 'no', obviously meaning that he isn't to ask that question. Nodding hesitantly, Hermie turns back to Daffney, who's still waiting on a new question. [ » ]

PROFESSIONAL NEWBIE || Hermie
Well speaking of starlets, you're against three this week in a fatal four way match. Alicia Fox, Pamela Paulshock, and Melina Perez. How about talking about one or all of them?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Okay.. well.. there's not much to say about three chicks who think they're God's Gift to men. Looking at them'll tell you they ain't. Alicia Fox is like.. a really skinny Oprah. She talks and talks and talks, yet none of it is ever useful. She goes 'hey, people, take this advice' or 'read this book' or whatever, and does it work? No! Yet she keeps doing it! The only difference between Alicia and Oprah is that she doesn't give out presents.. and I really like presents, yanno? Presents are good, depending on who gives them to you and how well you know them. Like.. like Doctor Stevie's last gift to me was a stethoscope.. and since I want to be his assistant one day, that was a good gift. Alicia, though.. she's something Doctor Stevie says a lot about the women here, aside from me.. she's useless. She has no reason to be here at all. What has she accomplished? Ooo, a one and zero record.. I'm really scared. «She laughs.» Yeah.. sure.. scared of a girl that's only had one match.. not possible.

PROFESSIONAL NEWBIE || Hermie
Well what about Pamela and Melina? Pamela's new here.. no record yet, but Melina's four, two, and one. What does that say to you?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Miss shiny new Pamela doesn't bother me. She never will. She's never been anything and never will be anything. The only thing she's done that interests anybody is modelling, and we all know exactly who that interested. The women.. «She shrugs.» We have yet to give a shit about anything she's done.. and it'll probably be that way for years and years and many more years to come. She's not pretty or talented or even interesting, so who cares? As far as Melina goes.. she can have four or four thousand wins.. I still wouldn't give a damn. She can be all A-lister, going to parties, seeing movie premieres or whatever, and what does that matter when you step into the ring? It doesn't. It never will. She can have all of the celebrities in the world help her, and she still wouldn't win this match.

PROFESSIONAL NEWBIE || Hermie
What if she does get help, Daffney? She has Joey Mercury and Jillian Hall on her side, Pamela has a girl named Tiffany Evans. You only have Doctor Stevie. What good is he to you if they get help?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
«Her bottom lip starts to tremble as she looks visibly upset.» Doctor Stevie helps! I know he helps! He helps me a lot!

[ « ] Getting out of her seat, she rushes past Hermie and into Doctor Stevie's waiting arms as she sits on his lap. Doctor Stevie glares at Hermie as he holds Daffney close, letting her cry on his shoulder as she wraps her arms around him. [ » ]

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Hermie, before we even started this interview, what did I tell you? What did I tell you?! I said NO unneccesary questions, didn't I? Didn't I?! And now look what you've done. By doubting me and the fact that I am always, always there for her when she needs me, you've upset her. Look at her, Hermie! Look at her! Do you see what you've done?! She's in tears, Hermie! She's crying now, and it's all your fault! You've set her back not days, not weeks, not months, but years! Years of work, all undone by your senselessness! Congratulations, Hermie.. when you screw something up, you don't do it halfway, do you? Damned idiot.. «He supports Daffney's legs by putting his other arm under her knees as he stands up, effectively carrying Daffney with no problem.» This interview, Hermie, is done.

[ « ] With that, he walks off, leaving Hermie with a clear 'what the hell?' look as the scene fades out. [ » ]