SCENE 00: THE FORWARD

Okay, so no title for us. No biggie. We'll just have to keep going and try for another one. Our first stepping stone is Eve Torres.. and most will say she'll prove to be a tough competitor.. but we'll see about that.

SCENE 01: EVE.. RELATED TO TICO??

After our loss, most would think we'd have some sort of meltdown or whatever, and it's true, most starlets would. But who says we're starlets? Sure, the company calls us that, but do we really fit that mold? Do we look like little blonde Barbie dolls who flip out if our hair isn't right or if we chip our nail polish? Absolutely not. We are dark.. we are psychotic.. we are destructive.. and we're not happy unless we get at least three sodas a day, if not more. If we don't get them.. well.. it won't be very pretty. Ask the chick we faced after we'd gone a day without light or soda.. she looked and felt like hell when we were done.. and trust us, it was an improvement.

This week we're found inside a local cd and dvd store, rifling through the various things they have to offer, when Dr. Stevie gets our attention, making us look up from the Bullet for My Valentine section.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
About Sunday night, Daff..

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Don't worry about it. As long as we have an understanding that you're not to wake me up for stupid crap like interviews with JB, who asks the most retarded questions, then we're good. That, especially after a two or three day trip to Jersey and being bored out of my mind for the whole thing, was just.. [We pause.] ..it pissed me off.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Alright.. just wanted to make sure we're okay with each other. No new meds or more frequent sessions needed, right?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Not unless you think it is. You're my doctor, after all. If you don't know, then I certainly don't.. then we're all screwed.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[He grins.] True. [After a long pause] Also, I just wanna tell you that you did good last week. Don't worry about not winning.. you'll have a chance to make up for it this week.. against Eve Torres.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
I know I did. At least the winner wasn't Sable or Madison Rayne. Then the company would've gone to hell. Could you imagine? Madison Rayne, a champion? Next, she'd want Shane or Stephanie's position, saying she's gonna beautify the whole company. We'd have brand new hair, makeup, and wardrobe consultants.. 'prettier' rings and ringside mats.. a 'prettier' logo.. a 'cuter' show name...

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[Attempting to interrupt] Daffney..

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
They'd want everyone to wear pink or something sparkly.. the sparkly I'm fine with, but the pink they can shove where the sun doesn't shine. Then they'll want everyone to be blonde or wear thier little ho outfits.. show thier asses to the cameras when they get in the ring.. and that's just for the girls! Can you imagine what they'll do to the guys?! Don't get me wrong, Dr. Stevie.. you look good.. but not to them. They want those teeny, sparkly little guys who do nothing but compliment them. I know that ain't you.. not by a long shot..

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[Still trying..] Daffney..

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
You know what they want? I thought about it.. since they want sparkly, complimentary guys, they want those crappy sparklepires. You know.. the ones from Twilight.. the ones like Edtard the Pedophile. They can't be hurt, they sparkle, they're supposedly perfect.. yeah.. that's what they want.. sparklepires. [After a pause] Wait... what about Eve Torres?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
You have to face her this week. She's a former WWE diva, dancer, model, Diva Search winner in two-thousand-seven.. the usual for thier women.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Is that her real name?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Yeah. Why?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[After another pause] Is she related to Tico Torres?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Tico.. Torres? I don't know.. why?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yeah.. Tico. You know.. drummer for Bon Jovi?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Oh. [He thinks for a moment] No, I don't think so.. at least I haven't heard she is.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
She must be trying to hide it, then. I don't see why. Bon Jovi's a good band. They've been around for nearly thirty years, so I know he can give her hints on how to get a real job instead of shaking her ass or dressing like a ho for the whole world to see.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Yeah.. and we both know those two jobs are already taken by the Beautiful People.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Point. I still have to get them back for that attack, by the way. You can say drop it or whatever, but I'm gonna kick thier asses.. and Maryse's too. [After a pause] Are you sure she's not related? It's just too much of a coincidence to ignore. They look alike, too. It's creepy..

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
I doubt they are. Eve's from Denver and.. isn't Tico from Cuba?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
No... New York. His parents are from Cuba. Doesn't really matter, though. People can be related and be from two different states. I'm still convinced they're related.. [Pause] ..we could always ask people they know if they're related.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
No. Grounds for a stalking or harassment charge. Try again.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[We think then look up at him with a smile.] Follow me. [We take his hand, leading him out of the store.] I have an idea.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Do I really wanna ask what it is? Better yet, do I wanna know at all?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[We stop at the entrance, still holding Dr. Stevie's hand.] Probably not. Just.. wait. It has something to do with Eve.. promise.

Following us without much hesitation, Dr. Stevie listens to our request as the scene fades out on a shot of the entrance to the cd/dvd store.

SCENE 02: CLOTHES MAKE THE WOMAN?

Obviously our brain is running on a wavelength nobody else's can comprehend because we and Dr. Stevie are now standing in the middle of Rock Star Baby, a shop that sells clothes, furniture, and accessories for babies with a rock star flair. This brand and company just so happens to be owned by.. you guessed it.. Tico Torres of Bon Jovi. Dr. Stevie simply glances around, not truly interested in what they have to offer, while we lazily browse the racks. Picking up a teeny tiny shirt with the brand logo on it, we grin as we show it to Dr. Stevie.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Look! The Beautiful People would completely love this! It's in thier size, too!

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[Laughs] Put it back, Daffney.. we're not here for them. [Pauses, getting a look on his face] That said, why are we here?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Cause we're gonna ask the manager if he or she knows if Tico is related to Eve. You said don't ask family, so we're asking employees. That won't hurt anything, right? No cops called?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
As long as you don't cause any trouble, I don't see why there would be.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Okay good! Off to find a person we go!

Roaming through the store with Dr. Stevie following close behind us, we soon find a salesclerk who looks to be competent enough to answer even the simplest question.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Can I ask you a question, provided you can understand what I'm saying?

PROFESSIONAL AIRHEAD || Ashlee
Of course! We carry the most awesome line of baby clothing, accessories, and furniture that works for all children, even up til five years old. What would you like to know?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
This brand is created and owned by Tico Torres of Bon Jovi, right?

PROFESSIONAL AIRHEAD || Ashlee
Y-yes, why?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Is he at all related to Eve Torres, the former WWE chick?

PROFESSIONAL AIRHEAD || Ashlee
I.. don't believe so.. I mean.. I've never asked.. and it wasn't covered in anything they told or gave to us when we were hired..

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Of course they wouldn't just tell you. What kind of moron are you? You have to sneak around.. ask.. do research.. ask some more.. not just sit there and wait for it to drop into your lap. What the hell do you call what I'm doing?

PROFESSIONAL AIRHEAD || Ashlee
Um.. asking?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Well damn.. what do you know.. she has a brain after all.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[Sighs, getting bored of this] Come on, Daffney. Give it up. Nobody knows. Now let's go. We have work to do before tomorrow night, and none of it involves entertaining now-nothing people.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
'Kay.. fine.. we'll go.. [We get an idea] There's always public record!

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
No. We're not even in New York or Denver.. we're in boring as hell South Carolina, only known for the.. [He pauses.] To be honest, I don't think they're known for anything at all. Now at the risk of repeating myself, let's go.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
'Kay. [After a pause] We can't even get a few business cards before we go to give to the Beautiful People?

Dr. Stevie goes to answer, but a sound within the store gets our attention. Without asking permission, we head for the sound, tracking it down within seconds to the toy section, where a small child is squeezing a squeaky toy. Grabbing a duck off of the shelf, we squeeze it's belly, making it 'quack', which makes us laugh and do it again.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Lookit, Dr. Stevie! A ducky! And he makes noise, too! [We squeeze the toy, making it quack again.] See?! Can I have it? Can I have the ducky?

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
I suppose, though I don't see why. Come on.. let's pay for it and get out of here.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
You don't know why? Come on, Dr. Stevie! Doesn't it remind you of someone? Someone with the initials of E-T? And no, it's not an alien ducky. [We frown, looking at the duck.] Then again, he could be a lot of other people, too..

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
[Takes out his wallet as he gets up to the counter] Give her the duck for a minute. She'll give it right back.

As the girl scans the barcode and takes Stevie's money to make change, he looks at us curiously.

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
So who does it remind you of?

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
[We take the ducky as Stevie takes his change.] Eve.. Maryse.. Angelina.. Velvet.. Madison.. Rain..

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
So pretty much everyone you've faced so far.

PROFESSIONAL PSYCHO || Daffney
Yep. And yanno what? Mitchell, moron extraordinaire, thinks you're a.. [We squeeze the duck, making it 'quack'.]

PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST || Dr. Stevie
Well when he gets a liscense to study psychology and is a part of the staff at Bellevue Hospital, he can say something. Until then, he's the quack.

Their conversation fades out as they leave the building and let the scene go to black.