SCENE 00: THE FORWARD

YAY Disneyworld! BOO no sugar!

Colors: Daffney, Dr. Stevie, JB

SCENE 01: M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E..

The familiar tune of the Mickey Mouse Club's opening song wafted through the taxi as it rolled through the streets of Anaheim, the cabbie's fare obviously happy in some margin. The fare, who is as yet unknown, toys with the hem of her skirt, plucking invisible fuzzballs off it and tossing them to the floor. A heavy, and most would say bored, sigh is exhaled from the same person just before a hand, presumably male in nature, reaches over and pats the female's hand gently.

"Calm down.. we'll be there soon enough."

"There.. where is there? The hotel?"

"No, someplace far more fun.. for you, anyway."

"Gimmie a clue!"

"..Mickey Mouse."

All falls silent within the cab as the girl sets to thinking of what the surprise might be and in doing so, gives her escort a moment's peace. An hour or so passes and the cab, still filled with the cabbie and both fares, coasts to a stop - an action which promts an excited squeal from the girl. The male hands the money forward over the seat in front of him to pay for the ride, a gesture which earns a 'thank you' from the cabbie. The sound of the door opening is heard off camera as the two fares step out. It's only then that we see who exactly it is.

"DISNEYLAAAAAAND!!"

Daffney, clearly excited and happy about her surprise, runs forward, rushing through the crowds and crowds of visitors, leaving Dr. Stevie behind yet again for the second time in just as many weeks. Shaking his head, he follows her calmly as she stops to see every 'shiny', 'pretty' thing she comes across. When she stops to look at the list of rides in the park, he finally catches up with her.

"I wanna see Johnny Depp!"

"In time, Daffney.. first I have to explain why I brought you here."

"But.. Johnny Depp.."

"In a minute.. just listen first."

"Oh, alright.."

"Good.. now this match you're having this week is a Monster's Ball match. I'm sure you know what those consist of."

"Yeah.." She pouted. "No food, no drinks, and no light for a day.. and I have to wrestle like that!"

"Right.."

"A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT SODA! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!"

"I'll get a break?"

"NOT FUNNY! I CAN'T HAVE SODA! THAT'S NOT GOOD! In fact, I'm pretty sure that my head'll cave in without it.."

"Well today you can eat and drink all you like.. because the deprivation starts day after tomorrow."

"Well crap.." She sighs. "I get Johnny Depp now, right? I don't have to wait?"

"No, you don't have to wait.. go ahead."

"YAAAAAAAAYYYY!"

Running ahead, she goes the completely opposite way that the New Orleans Square exhibit is set up and ends up running directly into a crowd full of character players. Among them is Goofy, which she excitedly points out.

"Look, Dr. Stevie! It's Michelle McCool!"

Laughing, she runs up to the player and grabs his arm while the guests start looking around for the so-called diva. Going up to Daffney, Dr. Stevie gets her attention.

"Daffney, that isn't Michelle."

"But.." She looks up at Goofy. "The ears.. the teeth.. the long face.. it HAS to be her!"

"I assure you, it isn't."

"Who ELSE looks enough like a horse to be her? Mister Ed is dead!"

The other guests start complaining at her outbursts, which are starting to scare the kids around her. Taking her by the wrist, Dr. Stevie drags her off to another section of the park where, hopefully, she won't make another scene. Unfortunately, they happen to pass right by Cinderella's carraige, and she notices the horses.

"THERE'S Michelle! See! I knew she was here!"

Dr. Stevie sighs, frustrated.

"No, that's not her, either. Look, just enjoy your day off and focus on Michelle while you're in seclusion, alright? You won't have all of these disctractions then."

"Alright, if you say so, Dr. Stevie."

She seems to be feeling rather down now, but that's fixed within a few seconds.

"Look! The Haunted Mansion! YAAAAY!"

She runs off, leaving Dr. Stevie to follow her yet again as the scene fades out.

SCENE 02: NEED.. SODA..

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me..."

Daffney sings these words over and over as we join her in a small, very dark room. The camera being used is obviously a night vision one, as the image of Daffney consists of only greens and blacks. This in any other case would be amusing to a Goth such as her, but today, it's just annoying since she growls and kicks the camera, sending it skipping along the padded floor. Outside the room, Dr. Stevie talks with JB, who's wondering what the hell is going on.

"So she's in there because she started a fight with the vendor?"

"Right."

"Over a soda and a bag of chips.."

"Right again."

"And when was this?"

"Earlier today, when I reminded her she had to go into seclusion. That's why there's black paint covering the only window in the room.. it has to be completely dark."

"Can we still talk to her?"

"Of course.. I see no harm in it.. just don't feed her."

"Yeah.. got it."

Raising his fist, JB knocked on the window, startling Daffney, who looked sharply at the window, her eyes wide.

"WHAT?! WHO'S THERE?!"

She pauses then gasps.

"GOD?! IS THAT YOU?!"

"Um.. no.."

She gets a look on her face.

"God, why do you sound like Jeremy Borash?"

He's tempted to laugh, but doesn't.

"Daffney, it is JB.. it isn't God."

"And how am I supposed to know this? I can't see you.. I can't feel you.. I can hear you.. so how am I supposed to know you're really JB?"

Dr. Stevie steps in to clear things up, knowing she'll straighten up at the sound of his voice.

"Daffney, this is Dr. Stevie.. the one talking to you is really JB. I'm standing here looking at him."

A long pause happens as she considers what he's said.

"...Then I feel sorry for you. What's up, JB?"

"I, um, came to talk to you about your match against Michelle McCool this Friday. Are you up for it?"

"...I suppose. First question is...?"

"Well I suppose my first question is.. why did you attack the vendor?"

"The vendor? I thought this was supposed to be about Michelle!" She pauses. "Oh well.. anyhow, I attacked him because he wouldn't give me my soda. The chips I didn't really care about.. the soda.. the soda is very important. It keeps my head from going KABLOOEY! It keeps me happy.. it keeps me from killing people."

JB looks at Dr. Stevie and mouths the words 'killing people?'. Dr. Stevie replies in a near whisper.

"Not literally killing people.. though it's possible. She means it keeps her balanced. It keeps her in a good mood.. or like she said, it keeps her happy."

"Ah.. got it." He turns back to the door to talk to Daffney. "Daffney, how do you think this stipulation will affect Michelle?"

"Uh, it WON'T. See, I depend on the soda. I love soda. Like I said, it keeps me happy.. kinda like my meds. But her.. she doesn't depend on soda. You can tell it. She's far too bitchy to be drinking soda. I doubt she even drinks coffee. She seriously needs to start downing some sugar. Or getting laid.. one of the two. Michelle doesn't know what it is to NEED a soda to start off the day. She just knows to get up, get her horseface looking self looking even worse than normal, and go out to punch people in the nuts before every show. That's it.. that's her daily routine. I doubt she even knows how to SPELL happy. She's a BITCH.. plain and simple. No day of deprivation of ANYthing will help her." She pauses a minute to think. "You know who she reminds me of? That girl from Titan Maximum.. Sasha. The one who's always punching things in the nuts. Yeah.. that's her.. the man-hater. Might wanna watch out, Dr. Stevie.. and you too, JB. She might get you two next."

"Um.. sure. Daffney, have you forgotten that you can use weapons in this match?"

She's silent for awhile. "Are you serious?"

"..Yeah. You can use any weapons you want. They're encouraged."

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Did you hear that, Dr. Stevie?! I get to use weapons!"

"Yes.. yes, I heard, Daffney.." He mutters under his breath. "God help us.. or Michelle, rather."

"I get to beat the hell out of her!" She laughs. "Ooooh, she REALLY won't like this match now! Me with no soda AND I get a weapon?!" She laughs again, each laugh sounding more and more maniacal than the last. "She is SO fucked! I'm gonna beat that twiggy, horseface lookin bitch within an inch of her life! I don't even think she has enough strength left in those emaciated arms to lift a bat, let alone use it. This is gonna be hilarious! I'm probably going to be too busy laughing at her trying to lift a weapon to use one. It'll last for awhile, but once I'm done laughing, I'm gonna make her pay. Pay for what she said to me. Pay for what she said period."

"What she said? What do you mean? She hasn't said anything yet, other than what was said on last week's Smackdown."

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! How the hell can anyone be jealous of HER?! I have never been jealous of horses! I look better than them.. even without the makeup.. which means I ALWAYS look better than her. ALWAYS! She said she's going to destroy every so called starlet here? GOOD. Go right ahead! I don't like these snippy chickies anyhow.. but there's just one thing. How will she do this.. this great and awesome thing that she's talking about.. if SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL?!" She laughs, sounding like she's on the very edge of sanity.. if she has any."She said she's been making history ever since she stepped foot into this career. Um.. can I ask something? Does that sound weird to any of you? Since she stepped foot into this CAREER. Shouldn't it be this BUSINESS?! And really.. how is being the ride to and from the Alamo making history? She should've been shot a long time ago." She snickers, falling over onto the padded floor. Content with just lying there, she looks up at the ceiling. "I have become the first Divas Champion back in the WWE. Yeah, sure.. and I have become tired of translating her horrible English skills. Really.. who the hell is worried about what she did in another company? Other companies don't matter here, and they certainly don't matter to me. This is a fresh start for me and a number of other superstars, and she's intent on ruining it. Well I won't let her.. I'll kick her ass and have a shitload of fun doing it. Greatest diva on the roster, my ass. If half the roster is shit, then she's included in that half. Not me, though.. I'm awesome.. who doesn't love a sugar-hyped psycho?"

"Psycho is not the professionally accepted term, Daffney. It's mentally disturbed."

"Whatever.. all I'm saying is I'm a Pretty Mess. She even said that the roster is untalented and only got a contract because Flair needed something to look at. Scuse me, but if Ric hired me for my looks, then he needs his eyesight checked. I can see how he would hire the so called 'pretty divas', but me? Nah. He just needed someone to balance them all out. Where I'm psycho, they're rather boring.. I'm hyper, they're comatose.. I'm awesome, they're just popular cause they got big boobies. See what I'm getting at? If she's the only talent in this arena, then we are seriously FUCKED.. and not in a good way. We're not gonna earn any money if she's our talent. We're gonna be in the damn hole. And really.. if she's the only talent, who's she gonna compete against? The dust bunnies under the chairs? Even then, I think the dust bunny would win. And if she's the only talent.. who's gonna pay her? Who hired her? Who's gonna be the referee? Those shows wouldn't be long at ALL. Five minutes, if that. With her as the only talent, you don't have to buy much air time. Ten minutes at the most, which isn't expensive at all. She's rather cheap, I hear.. so you wouldn't have to pay her much. A penny an hour should do it.. that's all she's worth, anyhow."

"Daffney?"

"Hm?"

"Are you always this talkative without soda?"

"Iono.. ask Dr. Stevie. I don't pay attention enough to notice."

JB looks at Dr. Stevie, who nods silently.

"Alright.. um, I think that's about it.."

"Aww, no more questions?"

"No, not today.. maybe next week.. or during Smackdown."

"Okay! Bye, JB!"

"Bye, Daffney.. good luck."

"Thank yoooooou..."

"Thank you for the time to talk to her, Dr. Stevie."

"You're quite welcome, JB. See you tomorrow night."

"See you then."

JB leaves, leaving Dr. Stevie there to keep Daffney company. Is the usually unstable Daffney going to be even moreso since she has no sugar but plenty of weapons? We think so, but at least it'll be fun. Tune in to Smackdown tomorrow night to witness all of the carnage.