SCENE 00: THE FORWARD

One and oh.. not half bad. But things always start off well before they go downhill. This week our favorite psycho is against Trish Stratus.. and oh, what a match that will be.

Colors: Daffney, Dr. Stevie, JB

SCENE 01: TO BOLDLY GO..

Looks like we've passed the first test. Easy as hell.. or at least it seemed like it. We suppose Daffney just chooses to make it look easy. This week, she'll have to do it again against Trish Stratus. Let's look in on how she's taking care of it.

Seated on a bench across from The Tech, a museum in San Jose, Daffney seems rather relaxed. Dressed in a plaid top, matching skirt, and black patent leather boots, her jet black hair is up in two long pigtails with her dark eyes covered by shades. Bringing a soda straw to her lips, she sips from the cup, tilting it so she can get every last drop. We get the feeling she rarely wastes the smallest drop of soda. Anyhow, someone obviously comes up on the other side of her off camera since she looks up and grins.

Reaching up, she swaps out her now empty cup for a full one, courtesy of Dr. Stevie, who takes a seat beside her, a fresh soda in his hand as well. Tossing the empty cup in the trash, he looks at her.

"I take it you're stocking back up after your match last week?"

She takes a long sip out of her fresh soda before answering.

"Yep. I'll need my energy if I'm gonna beat Trish this week."

"Good, good. I like what I'm hearing." He paused. "So why are we here?"

He nods to the museum, which has a large black banner across the top of the door. It boasts "STAR TREK: THE EXHIBITION" in large white letters before stating the dates and motto underneath.

"Well that sign says it all. The museum is holding a giant exhibition with the original Star Trek's stuff in it. A replica of the bridge, gadgets, suits, a model of the ship.. a bunch of other stuff. I figured it'd be fun to sit here and watch who goes in and out."

"That still begs the question.. why are we here? What purpose does this have? What's it got to do with Trish or last week?"

"Last week.. nothing, unless Michelle is really a Klingon.. and it's possible. Have you seen that girl?"

"I have, and were I not content on being a professional, I would agree. So what does this have to do with Trish?"

"Trish.. mmm..." She tilts her head to the side, thinking for a moment before answering. "..I don't really know. I mean, I'd say she was some sort of strange being yet to be identified, but this is all about the original series, so I don't think that's possible. She could always be a Tribble.."

"A.. Tribble?"

"Yeah. A small, very furry animal that makes a purring sound. Klingons hate em but most other races like em.. they think they're cute or something. They're mostly annoying since all they do is eat and reproduce."

"You seem to know a good bit about the series. You're sure you're not a fan?"

She nodded, the straw still in her mouth. "Very sure." She was silent for a moment, watching fans go into the museum. "She could always be a Horta."

"Okay, and what is that?"

"A silicon-based creature that normally looks like a clump of volcanic rock." She pauses for a second before brightening up. "HEY! That could work! She COULD be one of those!"

"How so?"

"Silicon! She's FULL of it! That's what it is! Trish is a Horta!" She laughs. "I bet that when she swims, she never gets tired cause her boobies hold her up! This is classic! I have proof that Trish was once an ugly as hell lump of rock! And it's all thanks to Star Trek!"

"Wouldn't she be older than she is if this were true?"

"She was born in seventy-five.. the series started in sixty-six.. the episode she was in aired in sixty-seven. For all we know, this could've been her original form! She could've taken on the name Trish Stratus to seem human!""

"You've taken your meds today, right?"

"Of course.. but this is still possible!"

He attempts to take her soda away, which is about half empty by now.

"Okay, I think you've had enough soda."

She holds it out of his reach. "No.. my soda.. and you know I'm right."

"I'm not saying anything either way. It's my job to be unbiased."

"Oh, bullshit.. you have an opinion and you know it."

"Even if I did, I couldn't express it. I have to be objective."

"Uh huh.. whatever, Doctor I Have No Opinion."

They continue bickering as the scene fades out.

SCENE 02: ALL TALK, NO ACTION?

Now inside the arena, the scene fades back in, clearly hours, maybe even days from the last time we saw Daffney and Dr. Stevie. As they walk down the hall, they're discussing what she's going to wear for the match, but we get the feeling Dr. Stevie would rather talk about something else.

"She usually wears pink or something.. maybe a light blue. I, however, own neither of those colors. So I should be fine.. no color clashing if I wear black or purple."

"Yeah, you should be alright.. but the winner isn't who dresses the best. It's about who can pin the other and get the three count."

"Yeah, yeah.. I know."

Her eyes light up as she sees someone down the hall. Running towards the person, she pounces on thier back.

"HEY, JB!"

Laughing, JB turns around to face a very bouncy Daffney.

"Hey, Daffney.. Dr. Stevie. How are you?"

"I'm good! How are yooou?"

"I'm fine, thanks. Do you two have a minute? I could do a quick interview for your match this weekend if you're up for it."

"YAY interview! Ask a question! Come on! Gimmie a question!"

"Okay.. um.. what're your thoughts on the type of match you have with Trish?"

She looks at him. "Are you for serious? It's a normal match, JB. What kinda question is that? If it were like last week where I had a Monster's Ball match, it would be a good question. Since it AAAAINT, then the question SUCKS. Try again."

"Sorry.. um.. since Trish hasn't said anything, I can't really ask you about that.. so.. what do you think about Trish in general?"

She sighs. "I swear, JB. You have GOT to come up with some better stuff. Go online or something, look up 'good interview questions' on Google. Google is your FRIEND. Use it to your advantage. If the girls can come up with better questions than the men, then there's something wrong somewhere. Anyhow, there's nothing to truly say about Trish that hasn't been said over and over and frikkin over. She has giant boobies, they're probably fake, she's an airheaded blonde, she sucks - probably literally too.. yadda yadda yadda. There's nothing you can recycle that will sound any better than it did last time. It's all the same garbage that we heard years ago. So I'm sorry, JB.. you'll have to come up with another question. That one's been done before."

"Okay, a few minutes ago, I heard you talking about what you'll be wearing in your match for tonight. Have you decided yet, or are you still thinking?"

She stares at him for a minute then laughs. "JB, tell the truth.." He stares as if he doesn't know what she's talking about. "You're gay, aren't you?! I swear, I have NEVER had a man ask me what I was going to wear in a match before you came along.. unless they were perverts. Then I understood it and I could actually tell the difference cause they had this grin on thier faces as if they could already picture me in less than what I was already in. I'm sure you know the grin I was talking about. Anyhow, when you asked, you didn't have said grin.. so you GOTS to be gay. There ain't any other way to go. Just admit it and be done with it. You'll feel better, I'm sure."

"But.. Daffney.. I-I'm not.. I'm not gay."

"Sure.. whatever. Just open the door already."

"Open what door?"

"The closet door, maximus dorkus. Anyhow, ask another question.. and make it a good one."

"Alright.. um.. what was it like in last week's match against Michelle? Did you get a chance to see her after she came out of the deprivation room?"

"Good question.. not the most awesome, but good. Last week's match.. was FUN!" She laughs. "Michelle got what she deserved and then some. I told you I would make her pay, and I did. Those types of matches are always the best. I get to do what I want to without having to worry about stupid old rules that were written when Hulk Hogan was two. I get to air out my frustrations. I get to be my naturally violent self. I absolutely love those matches. It helped when I saw what Horseface looked like. SHE LOOKED LIKE UTTER HELL!" She laughs again. "Her makeup was smeared, her hair was going all kinds of directions, she looked like she hadn't slept at all.. you know who she reminded me of? The zombie strippers from that movie. She looked like crap warmed over. It was entertaining.. and I hope I get to see it again. I love seeing the pretty bitches all fucked up."

"I'm.. sure you do. Well, I think that's it for this week, Daffney. I hope you continue your winning streak with a win against Trish Stratus this weekend."

"A winning streak of one and oh?" She snorts and laughs. "Yeah, sure.. see ya, JB. Have fun ogling the guys."

Before he can counter her joke about him being gay, she and Dr. Steve walk off, leaving JB standing there as the scene fades.