Mesa, AZ

U.S. Airways Center is the home of the first official Anarchy Wrestling event. We see Vesuvius backstage and he looks nervously at his watch. He then looks out the back door again as other wrestlers walk in passed him.

Henry Lesher - Maybe Vesuvius knows this is going to fail, since he's hooked up with Scavenger and all.

Ricky Simms - He's waiting for someone.

Henry Lesher - If we don't have any idea who, then I don't care.

Ricky Simms - Mesa, Arizona has been buzzing all week about this event. Rumors of who might be here tonight, right down to wild claims of Max Cameron and Slim Pickens sightings.

Henry Lesher - I'll take "People Who Mean Squat" for 1000 Trebek.

"Dalai Lama" by Rammstein plays as we see the opening images of the show. It opens with Vesuvius standing tall, arms folded across his chest and then fades into images of Scavenger, Myst and Thibor as well as Dustin Walters and then it fades to a question mark. We then fade to a shot of Kelly Buchanan inside the ring. There are the standard catcalls for her as she smiles and waves to the crowd.

Kelly Buchanan - Fans, welcome to the first official edition of Assault! We owe the legend Vesuvius our gratitude for recognizing the need for a grand company to fill the void left behind when the GWO crashed and burned. Oh, we all know what happened there. Shannon Skanes screwed everything up and he and Myst nearly killed each other while their company crumbled. It was left to Vesuvius to rebuild when Rated R failed so very badly. No, it wasn't really his fault. Look what Shannon left him. Shannon Skanes, the scourge of the wrestling world, a man whose legend has been forever tarnished by this single night's transgression. Now we stand within the halls of the company Anarchy built because Shannon made it so. In fact, if he were here----

She doesn't get to finish as "The Hand That Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails plays and the crowd explodes as Shannon Skanes emerges from backstage and starts making his way down to the ring. He high fives fans along his route and Kelly looks terrified inside the ring. Shannon makes his way around the ring, stopping briefly to glare at Lesher and then steps up onto the apron and then into the ring.

Kelly Buchanan - Now.... see.... I didn't know...

Shannon Skanes - *snatching the microphone from her hand* Kelly, shut up! My time now, so you get out or take a super kick from the scourge of the wrestling business!

Kelly retreats from the ring as a chant rises up for the former GWO boss.

Shannon Skanes - *shaking his head* No, you guys shut up, too. I don't deserve that. See, I heard Vesuvius was doing this and I heard Myst was down here and that meant I had to be down here. Over the past three months, my very existence has been torture. In fact.... as some of you may have read in the tabloids, I tried to take my own life. Fans.... tonight I will be standing in the back and watching. I will be watching the action out here and see what the hell anarchy is going to give you that I couldn't. Fans.... I'm not the boss anymore. I am just a wrestler. *glares at Kelly* I am simply the scourge of AW.

He throws the microphone down and heads out of the ring to a loud ovation from the crowd, his music playing again.

Ricky Simms - I really didn't see that coming.

Henry Lesher - Really? That's why you're the idiot of our team.

"Herzeleid" by Rammstein plays as Scavenger emerges from the back with his trusty chair in hand. He makes his way towards the ring as they crowd gives him a more mixed response than usual. As he reaches ringside, we see Dustin Walters attacking him from the crowd. We don't know how long he's been there, but he was sitting at ringside. Dustin picks up the chair he had been sitting on and clocks Scavenger across the forehead with it. Dustin then steps over the guard railing and starts putting the boots to Scavenger. Dustin then stands Scavenger up, whips him shoulder first into the steel ring steps and then rolls him into the ring. Dustin rolls himself into the ring and the bell finally sounds to get this match underway.

Ricky Simms - Scavenger really taking it there from Dustin.

Henry Lesher - That's a bad sign, Dustin doing well in the first Anarchy Wrestling match.

Dustin stands Scavenger up, whips him off the ropes and then backdrops him to the mat. Dustin then gives Scavenger a leg drop across the throat and goes for the quick pin here. 1...2... kick out by Scavenger. Dustin stands Scavenger up, whips him into the corner buckle and then gives him a backdrop to the center of the ring again. Dustin then nods his head and smiles, telling the crowd he is ready to end this right here. Dustin grabs Scavenger by the hair, stands him up and takes a jawbreaker from Scavenger. Scavenger then stands Dustin up, whips him into the corner buckle and then backdrops him to the center of the ring.

Ricky Simms - Scavenger is managing to make a comeback here.

Henry Lesher - I don't care. Where's Dante or Q or a little BK?

Ricky Simms - Well, you know where BK is.

Henry Lesher - Yes and only I know, so back off.

Scavenger stands ready in the corner for the spear as the crowd cheers. Dustin slowly gets to his feet, turns and Scavenger is tripped from behind by Gerard Angelo! Referee Mark Davis calls for the bell as Dustin protests inside the ring.

Ricky Simms - Wasn't this no DQ?

Henry Lesher - How the hell should I know? The program is a hot dog wrapper.

Gerard rolls himself into the ring and Dustin gets in his face. The two exchange words and then start trading punches as the crowd explodes. Scavenger, meanwhile, rolls himself out of the ring and appears to be motioning towards the back. We then see another wrestler charging out from the back and into the ring carrying a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. He clocks Gerard with it and Dustin bids a hasty retreat, clearly caught off guard by this intruder.

Henry Lesher - Who the hell is that?

Ricky Simms - I believe that's Thibor. He's been seen around the Anarchy compound in recent weeks. Maybe he's the one Vesuvius was waiting for?

Thibor clubs Gerard across the back with the baseball bat and the camera zooms in on the bloodied forehead of Gerard as he struggles to get his bearings and figure out what happened here. Thibor then looks at the blood on the bat and touches it, rubs it between his fingers and then drops and rolls himself back out of the ring. Scavenger is seen applauding his efforts as Thibor heads towards the back.

Ricky Simms - Well, he impressed Scavenger.

Henry Lesher - Maybe Thibor talks to the bat.

Ricky Simms - They could double date maybe.

We see Shannon Skanes in the dressing room, his feet up on a chair as he chows down on potato chips and dip, appears to be dill pickle dip too. Ray Dees enters the picture, microphone in hand as usual for those who remember the depraved interviewer.

Ray Dees - Shannon, you shocked the world by being here tonight.

Shannon Skanes - You work here, Ray?

Ray Dees - Not yet. I snuck in through the kitchen.

Shannon Skanes - I didn't see a kitchen.

Ray Dees - You don't want to know what I did to get in here.

Shannon Skanes - Fair enough. Look, Ray, I am just here watching wrestling and scouting a few things out. I have no intention of...

The feed turns to snow for a few moments. When the feed returns, we see Shannon out cold on the floor, bleeding from the forehead. Ray Dees is also out cold with the microphone cord wrapped around his neck.

Henry Lesher - Best... interview... ever.

Ricky Simms - You're still sick in the head.

We hear "A Place For My Head" by Linkin Park as Myst makes her way out from the back. She makes her way down towards the ring and high fives fans who cheer her. She remains popular despite her somewhat hostile demeanor at most times. Myst tells the camera this is the minor leagues before she then jumps onto the apron and leaps over the top rope into the ring. She then tests the ropes as her music fades and we hear "Mine Teil" by Rammstein and Vesuvius comes out to the loudest mixed reaction any wrestler will ever hear. The crowd appears to be torn on how to react to him, but they are passionate about their side, good or bad. Vesuvius slowly makes his way towards the ring with a smile on his face. He tells the camera she'll be more messed up than Xandra in a brothel. He then pulls himself onto the apron and steps over the top rope into the ring. The bell sounds as he steps over to Myst and she greets him with a slap to the face.

Ricky Simms - Myst is never one to be intimidated by someone who is much taller than her.

Henry Lesher - That's because she is an idiot.

Vesuvius tries for a clothesline, but Myst ducks it. Myst then gives Vesuvius a kick to the knee cap and then lands a series of elbows to the chin that send Vesuvius into the corner buckle. She then snap mares him to the middle of the ring and goes for a sleeper. Vesuvius grabs a handful of her hair and flings her forward and down to the mat where she lands awkwardly on her back. Vesuvius then gets to his feet and boot chokes her, using the ropes for added leverage.

Ricky Simms - It's possible Vesuvius knocked Shannon out so that he couldn't make the save for Myst here this week. I think he intends to humiliate her.

Henry Lesher - Vesuvius is a proactive boss. He's about to proactive her into the ground. Shannon will wish the bullet had pierced his skull.

Ricky Simms - You're an ass.

Vesuvius rolls himself out of the ring while Myst is choking for breath. Vesuvius reaches under the ring and pulls out a table. He slides it into the ring and then grabs a crow bar from under the ring as well. He then rolls himself back into the ring. Myst greets him with a knee to the chin and then gives him a low blow. Vesuvius then drills her across the side of the head with the crow bar and the referee calls for the bell. Referee Francis Clarke then takes a crow bar shot from Vesuvius as well. Vesuvius then starts setting up the table. He looks down at the bloodied Myst and smiles. He grabs her by the hair and starts to stand her up. As he does, someone in a hooded jacket rolls into the ring behind him. The unknown man then chop blocks Vesuvius down. He then knees him in the forehead before standing him up. The unknown attacker then picks Vesuvius up and power slams him through the table before he rolls himself out of the ring.

Ricky Simms - Who the hell is that?

Henry Lesher - Probably Max Cameron. He always picks fights with people he couldn't hope to beat.

We then hear an explosion at the back of the arena and we see the letter "R" in flames. The crowd is shocked into silence as they then hear the opening chords of "I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace. The attacker doesn't reveal his identity, instead heading back into the crowd where he disappears into a sea of people and security.

Ricky Simms - Rated R? It can't be.

Henry Lesher - I agree. Ryan hates Myst and would never come out and aid her in any way.

Ricky Simms - Well, he didn't exactly stick around and help her up, Doc.

Henry Lesher - Neither would I. I might catch something.

Ricky Simms - Well, that's it for the first edition of Anarchy Wrestling's Assault. Fans, this was odd and I can't wait to see how this develops next week. We'll see you next Wednesday. Take care!

Henry Lesher - This show sucks worse than GWO!