The Ripper

Cameras wander around the flashy Las Vegas strip at night. The neon lights, the filled streets, the endless line of casinos, it's all there. A narrator's voice takes over.

Pesci: Back in my day, Vegas was a gold mine for the tough guys. It was a place where you became a made man by extorting money to the bosses. But eh, a lota' things have changed out here. The money stolen in Vegas just goes to the corporations now. It's done goin' to us wise guys. I'd go as far to say we'll never capture Vegas again. We had our chance, and unfortunately, we got what was comin' to us.

Pause to fill up space.

Pesci: But there's some good news out there. Yeah, word 'round town is some dangerous prick is on the loose on the strip. And rumor has it, he's got a mean attitude and can beat ya up into a bloody pulp at will. Now, I ain't really one for "wrestling" or whatever the fuck those guys do, but this guy is the real deal. I've even placed my bets already for the main event they got goin' on. This Burchill guy is at 4-1, and fuck, he ain't even the champ. Someones gotta be high on this guy, and hey, I may as well make some money off it. I'll admit, I'm past my prime and I ain't as scary as I used to be. But I'll still take my opportunities when I get 'em. I'll ride this Burchill guy until there's no money left. It's just what I do.

Pause to fill up space.

Pesci: A lota' shit goes on in Vegas. One thing is for sure, if you ain't ready for the big stage...all the lights, the attention, the women, then you're gonna fall flat on your fuckin' face. This ain't like back home, this is where men are either made or they break. That's just how it goes.

The cameras continue over the strip, and the shot goes black. The cameras turn back on, and Matt Striker stands in front. He wears a suit and holds up a mic.

Matt Striker: Ladies and gentlemen, over the past few days, myself and the rest of the GWF staff have asked those close to the competitors in the main event, to give us their "personal odds" for the match. Given that Backlash is coming live from Las Vegas, we figured it was a sound theme for the event.

Paul Burchill steps into the shot, not looking content to be there.

Matt Striker: Paul, I thought it'd be nice to call you in, just so you can see first hand how your peers are judging your match. Assuming they wouldn't tell you the truth to your face, this is an efficient way at grasping their opinion. I..

Paul Burchill: What makes you think I want their opinions, any way? I'd also like to know whose considered "close" to me in the GWF.

Matt Striker: Well Paul, it's good to see how others are judging your status in the GWF. I know you prefer to conduct your business alone, but you should still hear feedback from some others.

Paul Burchill Striker, this is a PROFESSIONAL wrestling company. We're not in primary school anymore, man.

Matt Striker: Alright, fine. Let's just get to it. Here's what some had to say regarding Backlash..

Striker points to a monitor in front of them. The monitor begins to play some footage.

Katie Lea: My brother and I haven't exactly...been cohesive over the recent months. However, I'd like to give Paul his best fortunes going into Backlash. I may not escort him to the ring because of other obligations, and this, and that. But ultimately, I think my brother will be able to capture the World Title once again, and give the Burchill name justice. I will be rooting vehemently for him, and I want him to know that. I don't want there to be any friction between us, any longer. If I was a gambler, which I'm most so certainly not, I'd give Paul excellent odds this Sunday..

Striker nods.

Matt Strikerl: So you see Paul, you do have people in your corner. That might surprise you, I know. It seems every time you make your entrance the fans jeer you out of the building. And I'm aware you don't care about that, but it's..

Paul Burchill: Look, if you really want to know, I'd prefer not to have support heading into Backlash. Katie can flatter me all she wants, but she said it herself, she won't be at ringside. So why should I bother care about this message of hers? What do you think?

Matt Striker: Well, I think it's nice of her, honestly. After all the things you, as well as Stevie Richards did to her heading into Wrestlemania, she's willing to forgive you and set everything aside. Because let's face it Paul, you guys are family.

Paul Burchill: Family or not, I'm not one to forgive so easily. She's still someone whose been a thorn in my side for a while now.

Matt Striker: With all that said, let's move onto the next participant. This one may surprise you..

Jim Duggan appears on the monitor.

Jim Duggan: Well ya know something tough guy! Back in my day, a young fella like Paul Burchill wouldn't be close to that World Championship! He'd be opening the show, jobbing to the likes of me! That's right, Hacksaw Jim Duggan!

Duggan points to himself emphatically.

Jim Duggan: Paul and ole' Hacksaw have had their run ins the past! But I'm willing to give the punk a chance this Sunday! Cause I'm a betting man, I'm gonna head on over to Vegas and place my wagers, brother! I'm gonna head on over there, with the flag of the Uniiited States of America! With my 2x4! Give a HOOOOOO! And a UUUUUUUSA! And then I'm gonna say, "Hey! Where's Hacksaw Jim Duggan in the main event?!" That's right, brother. I'M GONNA BET ON MYSELF! That Burchill shouldn't be taking Hacksaw's spot! I..

The cameras pan back to realtime.

Paul Burchill: That didn't surprise me, Matt. That was just plain stupid. Really, that's the best you got? Duggan? He's aging 40 more years every day, he doesn't even know whose in the main event. Why would I value his opinion?

Matt Striker: Let me re-explain, Paul. We're just trying to gauge at the people you've had experiences with recently. Jim was one of those guys. Now, onto the next one..

Miguel Whipwreck appears on the monitor.

Miguel Whipwreck: Paul BurCHILL! You're still in-a the Global Wrestling Federation?! I can't believe I never got my revenge on you! You see, I'm a fine Spanish warrior, and you are extremely lucky that you were able to escape my clutches at Armageddon! The next time we meet, ohhhh you won't be-a so lucky!

Miguel adjusts his mustache.

Miguel Whipwreck: After Back-a-lash, Paul BurCHILL, you shall recognize the fearsome name of one, Miguel Whipwreck, and I will make my claims to your newly won World Title gold. Ah yes, I have my faith in you Paul. You're one tough man, I will give you that. But watch your back, okay? Before you stagger into the sharp edge of my ancient sword. Don't you say I didn't warn you!

Cameras pan back to realtime.

Paul Burchill: What are you, Matt? Did you resurrect Miguel from the dead? How did you get this footage..

Matt Striker: Oh, sorry I didn't explain Paul. That was footage we taped slightly after Armageddon, before the limo explosion and all of that. Miguel would've made a great opposition for you, too. Oh well. As you can see, a lot of people think you can pull it off at Backlash.

Paul Burchill: And why do you think that is? Cause whether they love me or they hate me Matt, they BELIEVE me. They believe in my strength, in my ability to see my opening and strike. I've made one thing very clear to the rest of the locker room. To beat me, you have to stack all the odds in your favor, much like Murphy did the other night. And since this is an elimination match at Backlash, there's no reason why I can't survive. That's all I have to do, Matt. Linger. And once my opportunity is there, I win. There's nothing more to say.

Matt Striker: So, that's it? Do as little as possible and just take your advantages?

Burchill shrugs.

Matt Striker: Let's get to the next participant..

Santino appears on the monitor.

Santino: Oh yes! Granted that I'ma so close to the Burchill family, I'd-a like to extend my support to you, Mr. Burchill! Because if I don't, I'm very very sure that you'll beat me up and I won't make it to Las Vegas to win the Cruiserweight Title!

He grasps at his unibrow.

Santino: Hmmm, should I have-a said that? He might really beat me ups now..

Director: Look Santino, just give your opinion towards the match and we can get you out of here as fast as possible!

Santino: Fine, fine! Well, because The Reaper is so big, strong, and mighty, I-a think he has what it takes to defeat the Crash dummy and the rest of the bozos! If it runs in the family that is, then his aggression and will to keep-a going should be enough to award him victory! That is all..

Matt Striker: There you have it, Paul. Even Santino thinks you can win!

Paul Burchill: And that's supposed to be a good thing? That's sposed to build my confidence up?

Matt Striker: Come to think of it....no. No, not really.

Paul Burchill: The GWF asks me to go through all of these formalities, hell, you're leading them Striker! But what have I asked of them, huh? What have I demanded from you guys? I've gone about my business on my own and I've earned every damn thing that I've had to, to be where I am. Unlike say, The Miz? I don't have to pester you to get what I want! I let my actions out in the ring stake my claims! All the guys in the back should see me Striker, and they should see what they want to be. I don't ask for interview time, I don't ask for title shots. I just earn them.

Matt Striker: Well, to be frank Paul, you did sort of demand this title shot from Chris Masters. Recently you went out to the ring and stated that you never used your rematch clause, and..

Paul Burchill: So I'm not the first man to do that, am I?

Matt Striker: No, but..

Paul Burchill: But nothing! The point is, I don't go above and beyond to force myself to the audience! You Striker, you're the one trying to showcase me and leech off the attention that I get. You're no successful journalist, you're not making a name for yourself. Have you ever looked in the mirror Matt, and said, ya know what? Maybe you're not cut out for the job if you have to beg people to appear alongside you. I didn't want to be here, you bribed me here. And I wasn't gonna pass up a little money.

Matt Striker: Uh, Paul. You're not supposed to say that...we'll cut that out.

Paul Burchill: What? That I'm here cause you paid me a little something under the table? Come on, boy! Let's be honest with the fans, with your bosses, well, with "our bosses".

Matt Striker: Most guys are so happy to receive the attention, Paul. They love the airtime. You're really one of a kind if you don't enjoy getting the spotlight.

Paul Burchill: Because Striker, I'm one of those old school guys. I'm one of those guys that doesn't need this extra airtime to make my voice heard. No..I use the wrestling ring as MY forum of expression. Let's all go bloody crazy and point at the guy who uses the ring to get noticed! Sometimes Striker, hard hitting moves and cutting someone open is a lot more efficient at making yourself a success in wrestling, than just aimless promotion in one of your interviews. I hate it when guys, specifically the ones I'm stepping into the ring with, talk and talk and talk! You can tell, Striker. They love the cameras, and all of the flash that accompanies it. They never thought they'd be challenging for the World Title, or in Crash's case, having it. It's all surreal for them, its unbelievable! But me....I knew I'd be here from day one.

Matt Striker: Paul, all you've done now is ranted and we have to get rid of most of this. I'm sorry I offend you so much. I actually like your ring work and wanted you to win, but eh. Let's just get to the next participant..

Snitsky appears on the monitor.

Snitsky: RAGHGHHAAHAHDHDJFK!

Matt Striker: Right, next participant.

Pirate Burchill appears on the monitor.

Pirate Burchill: Over the waters and through the sand, there remains one man, bolder and stronger than all others. With more fire, passion, and intensity than his competition. He sits in his corner, alone. He plans, he plots, he schemes...with one ultimate goal in mind. Now Paul, I know you're watching this and you're thinking, what am I doing on the monitor from two years ago? Well, it's quite simple actually. I've observed you from atop the misty sails of my ship, and your frustration is apparent. Your mind is wandering and you're not all too sure where you're headed. But remember, deep down inside resides a man who likes to swashbuckle. Who likes to raid and plunder...who likes to sip down rum in his spare time. Yes, bring that man to Backlash, and The Ripper Paul, you will restore your World Championship glory. I'll be in your corner, matey!

Back to realtime.

Paul Burchill: What is this?!

Matt Striker: You really need to think of me as a better journalist, Paul! I got this interview from you years ago! I'm way ahead of the curve. I know what's going to happen before the guys upstairs do.

Burchill places his hands on his hips and looks back to the monitor, which resumes.

Pirate Burchill: So, older and less entertaining Paul in the future, I commend you on your efforts! I like that you're challenging for the top gold, for the top prize! This pirate would rather face Kanyon in a "Who has a bigger sword?" match! But ah, times have changed and you now hold the world in your hands, mate! What will it be? Will you trace back your roots and capture the gold? Or will you fail? Will you fall to the likes of Matt Murphy and let him get into your head? I hope its the former, Paul in the future. I really do! And so I will be makin' my way to Las Vegas, and I will be putting all of the galleons I have on the line! For you, Paul. For you! Farewell....

Pirate Burchill calls for the rope and swings out of the shot in the monitor.

Paul Burchill: How did he, I mean, I know how I'd respond to him..uh, me.

Matt Striker: No one knows you better than you, right Paul?

Paul Burchill: I guess..

Matt Striker: Well, the people have spoken. I feel that's enough for you to get a gauge at what people expect of you, Paul. They expect you to take Backlash down and walk away the new World Heavyweight Champion. And personally, I feel the same way. I admire Crash and his spirit, but I'm not sure he can last through an elimination style match. The odds are against that.

Paul Burchill: All of this talk of odds is making me nuts, Striker. I don't want to hear about odds, and whose more likely to walk out of Backlash the winner. Odds mean nothing to me. I don't gamble, and neither should anybody else on the main event. I'd say to place a wager on me, but why? That wouldn't be fun, now would it? I suppose what I'm trying to say Striker, is that in order to gamble, you have to be willing to accept the possibility of a loss. I just can't do that!

Pause.

Paul Burchill: People with gambling addictions make me sick. What becomes of a man when he's manipulated by chance? I would never let that happen to me, Striker. I would never let the roll of a dice control my career, determine where I'm headed in this business. I'll storm out to that ring Sunday night, and I won't catch a break. Nah, I'm not really a lucky guy. You see, I'm going to go out there and generate my own luck. I don't need anything to come to me undeservingly. Anything I do in that ring, is going to be because of what I DID, not what someone else failed to do.

Matt Striker: Well Paul, I'll be honest. I'll be heading down to the strip and be placing my bets on some of the matches. I think the moderate risk is worth the reward. Have you seen Santino's odds? Man, you gotta take them. And what about Cody Rhodes? He..

Paul Burchill: You know Striker, I've said over the months that I didn't plan, scheme, or look for order. But actually, that's what I've been doing all along. Any time I'm getting ready to compete, I don't go in there empty handed! I go in there with a plan, and a backup plan for that, and another backup plan for that. I ain't ready to see the cards dealt to me and see a couple of garbage cards. No, I want the aces Matt. I want to go in there, and I want to have you beat, no matter what. I suppose you could say I like to have my way with the system, but to each his own. Vegas isn't exactly my favorite place.

Matt Striker: You're right, Paul. To each his own. Despite what you've said to me in this interview, I am going to wish you the best of luck in your quest for the World Title. Believe it or not, luck is a great thing to have on your side.

Paul Burchill: Interview? You thought this was an interview?

Matt Striker: What would you call it then? You gave me your insight, you..

Paul Burchill: Nah, this was no interview. You didn't ask me questions, Matt. I provided the questions and I answered them myself. I mean, come on. I'm the only one suitable to decide what I should say and what I shouldn't. I'm not gonna let you media types fabricate my words.

Matt Striker: Alright, Paul. I think that's enough for now. I hope you at least appreciated the effort we went through to provide you with all of this footage. Thanks for your..

Burchill shakes his head and abruptly turns out of the shot.

________________________________________________

Backstage: Post-Wrestlemania

Cameras follow Burchill erratically after his gratifying win over Stevie Richards at Wrestlemania X. Static hits the screen, then suddenly the cameras rumble back on. Burchill's penis is exposed, ramming it into Stevie's ass.

Stevie Richards: HARDER! HARDER!

Director: Man, this would've been an awesome finish to your match, guys!

Static. Cameras turn back on, to reveal Burchill staring maniacally into them. He drenches blood into his hair, spreading it down over his face. He points with his index finger, gesturing for the cameras to follow as he moves around eccentrically.

Paul Burchill: Stevie, how fitting it was..

He looks sternly.

Paul Burchill: How fitting it was for the grave tale of your demolition to come to a screeching halt at the grandest stage of them all.. Wrestlemania! The supposed stage where your star shines the most, Stevie! The stage where you've historically accomplished world title reign, after world title reign. And so, here you were, expecting the same results. Oh Stevie, how wrong you were! Such a stubborn prick!

He breathes heavily.

Paul Burchill: All you've done recently is ask me week after week if I can take over the reigns of the business. If I can fill the void that you're going to leave behind upon your retirement, which by the way, isn't too far off now! In fact, I think it's about now that you're laying on a stretcher, lifeless, mindless, like the drone you've always been!

Some blood drips to the floor.

Paul Burchill: You made one tiny little mistake. See, all this time you were dismissing me, saying I was merely like everybody else in the back. Someone who couldn't step up when it really mattered! That couldn't go over the top, and do something bloody crazy..that couldn't sacrifice their body for the sake of sweet vindication and redemption. And guess what? That's EXACTLY what I just did! As the moments went by in our match, I did something widely known as improvisation, Stevie! As all of the blood was draining out of me, there I was with replenishment. I choked you out, I put you through a table, I whipped you with a rope, but you know what? That wasn't enough. No, I needed something more satisfying. I needed to dig deep. To drive a knife into the core of your beliefs and everything you stand for! So I did it. I grabbed some poor medic's keys and I planted them into one of your eyes..

Burchill adds emphasis to his eyes, which are mostly covered in crimson any how.

Paul Burchill: And I'm sure I offended many, many people at home watching Stevie, but that's just more fuel to the fire. I want people to be repulsed by my actions and I want them to refrain from watching the GWF ever again if they can't stomach it. Stevie, your eyes, they saw something slightly different from the rest of us. Your perceptions were clouded with what you've done in the past. You were the backstabbing, eccentric icon that with every step you took, you were catching an awkward glare, or a skeptical look. You craved that attention, and its why you're still around now! And so, cause of your massive ego, you perceived that I wanted to be just like you, Stevie! That I wanted to take YOUR spot and gain YOUR reputation. But no, by carving into your eyes, I made you bleed all of your lies, all of your deceit, and I drained any life you had left in that old, broken down body.

He grasps at his chin, still rubbing around some blood.

Paul Burchill: So, here you are, as a result of all of your madness and refusal to just give in and let me take over...you're as battered as they come. You sure as hell won't be making a comeback on my watch! You're gonna be gone, forever! And I will be soaking in all of the gold, Stevie! I will move on from this match and sooner rather than later, I will once again be the World Heavyweight Champion of the GWF! I don't have you as a distraction anymore! I got rid of you! With those keys I used tonight, I opened up the prime of my career and I locked the door on yours! Call me mad, call me insane, call me plain evil, but Stevie...you asked for ALL of this! I didn't just decide to do any of it, you brought it to yourself, and you know it!

Heavy breathing.

Paul Burchill: You wanted someone to do something monumental....to achieve something unique. To make the GWF a venue of innovation again! And as the blood continues to drip off my skull and to the floor, it's reminding me just how "creative" I was tonight, Stevie. Above all else, I established myself convincingly..

He takes one big swipe at his hair, causing blood to fly in every direction.

Paul Burchill: ..as The Ripper.

Static.