. . . 1 0 0 % S T R A T U S F A C T I O N . . .

|| Record: 005 - 000 - 000 || Match: vs. Amy Love || Roleplay #: 009

SGW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION - SGW GIMMICK CHAMPION - SGW TAG TEAM CHAMPION - SGW HALL OF FAMER

[[ Good things come to those who wait. ]]

[[ And wait was exactly what Christian did. For what was almost five years, Christian waited for his chance to become SGW World Champion. Dominant in every company he's been in, winning World titles, being inducted into the Wrestling Hall of Fame, they were all amazing feats, but it was what he longed for. It wasn't his main goal. In SGW, Christian was always known as the tag team wrestler, the little brother of the man who held the record for the most tag titles. Now, Christian has tied that record, and propelled himself into the record books in SGW. Not just anyone holds the SGW title. You earn it. And Christian awaited his opportunity, and unleashed a masterpiece plan to get him exactly what he wanted. ]]

[[ Usually it's Jeff Jarrett behind the swerves, but this time, Christian beat him to it. ]]

[[ So how does the man who has now achieved every achievement he's ever desired in this business celebrate? By taking the night off obviously. Trish Stratus steps into the ring against the only remaining diva on SGW's active roster. And well, to be honest, I feel sorry for her. Trish is determined to show she's just as talented inside the ring as she is outside. He led her man to the SGW title, and now it's her time to shine in Solid Gold. ]]

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]

[[ YOUR CHAMP IS HERE. ]]

[[ Fuck Matt Emerson. Fuck Chris Shady. ]]

[[ Fade up the locker room of Christian moments after Supremacy went off the air. The room is full of joy and celebration. Empty bottles of champagne lay on the ground, the room is a mess. James E. Cornette has a mile as big as my last roleplay on his face. He is standing with Tomko. Tomko is even showing a bit of a smirk on his face, breaking his normal statuesque stature. Christian's SGW Gimmick title rests on Tomko's shoulder. Christian is in the middle of the room, sitting in a folding chair still in his ring gear. He's bent over, his arms rest on his thighs and knees. In both hands he's gripping the SGW World title closely, looking down at it, not removing his eyes for anything. He's speechless. ]]

[[ His destiny now achieved. The entire world has now hopped onto the Christian bandwagon. ]]

Christian: Finally...I did it...I..Did...It.

[[ The moment is one that will never be forgotten. ]]

Christian: Everything I've worked for my entire life...is..accomplished.

[[ Christian shakes his head, he's still in a dream state staring at his belt. Cornette smiles, happy to see his client achieving the ultimate prize in wrestling. He looks over to Tomko and speaks. ]]

James E. Cornette: I think the moment's worth dressing up as a druid all night, don't ya' think?

[[ He ponders for a second and nods. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ..Yep.

[[ Christian brings the title closely to him, he kisses it softly, as if he doesn't want to put any marks on it. Trish enters the room, looking like she just won the lottery. She passes Tomko and Cornette, rubbing Cornette's arm. She approaches Christian and stops right in front of Christian. Her figure takes his attention, making him actually stop staring at his title. He starts at her feet and works his way up, pausing at Trish's breasts and then looking up at her face. ]]

Trish Stratus: Gesh, I leave for five minutes and you already got rid of me?

Christian: Huh?

[[ She sports a playful smile as Christian stares right at her breasts. ]]

Trish Stratus: I'm up here.

Christian: I know.

[[ She moves Christian's head up with her hand. ]]

Trish Stratus: So, how does it feel...Champ?

Christian: I don't know what feels better..Pulling the wool over the eyes of Jeff Jarrett and his cronies all this time, or finally winning the one thing that means more to me than ANYTHING in the entire world, the SGW WORLD TITLE!

[[ Trish kisses Christian on the lips! Does she know what she's doing? She moves away and Christian looks like he just saw the most horrific train wreck ever. What's gotten into Trish? She's always cockblocking Christian at every turn. ]]

Trish Stratus: Better than anything?

[[ Christian searches for the right words in the middle of his shock. ]]

Christian: Did you mean to do that?

Trish Stratus: Well of course, you went through with the plan perfectly. You deserve a reward for finally being the SGW World Champion. I had to sleep with so many people to make sure you got the title, I figure it's time you get your turn.

Christian: Well, you didn't really HAVE to sleep with Vanilla Ice.

Trish Stratus: HEY! Don't judge me, okay?! We all make mistakes. Even you teamed with Val Venis once.

Christian: SHUT UP! Seriously, Trish! That there is alone is enough to get me ousted from the Hall of Fame!

[[ Cornette speaks up. ]]

James E. Cornette: Well Trish, it was my idea..Do I get a reward?

Trish Stratus: No.

Christian: Everything went according to plan perfectly. NOBODY saw it coming!

James E. Cornette: That's why it's called a swerve!

Trish Stratus: And things go just like we want them when we're running things. You let me do my thing and we all come out winners.

[[ Everyone nods. Christian lays his World title on a shelf above his locker. ]]

Christian: Yeah, who knew you having sex with every person with a Dean Martin would finally pay off?

Tyson Tomko: ...Hmm?

Trish Stratus: Shut up. You got your belt I promised you since SGWx. Happy?

[[ Christian shrugs, and takes another glance at his new title before answering. ]]

Christian: I guess I can't complain. I mean, I always knew I was the greatest wrestler in the history of this business. Just adding the SGW World title to the resume kind of makes it taste a little sweeter. And to make sure I don't get screwed over by management like all the other idiot World champions like Chavo Guerrero..I made sure I got the week off this week.

[[ Christian slaps his chest. ]]

Christian: Captain Charisma will NOT have another record as shortest reigning champion EVER AGAIN!...Seriously, once is enough you know?

James E. Cornette: Smart thinkin'.

Christian: Forget Triple H..With that plane we did to get me the World title, the way I dominate opponents, and my smart thinking skills..I'm going to call myself the new "Cerebral Assassin." Because I kill everyone with my mind!

Tyson Tomko: ...Don't.

[[ Cornette and Trish nod in agreement. Christian looks a little down at having his idea shot down from everyone. Trish grabs Christian by the hand and he follows her as she takes a few steps. ]]

Trish Stratus: Come with me for a minute. See how long this reign lasts.

Christian: Say what?

Trish Stratus: It's reward time.

[[ Christian looks happy as he pumps his right arm. ]]

Christian: Oh, Stacy's still here? Excellent.

Trish Stratus: Not quite.

Christian: Good..I was hoping it was Torrie.

Trish Stratus: ...Nope.

[[ He thinks it over and realizes. ]]

Christian: OH!!

[[ Trish pushes open the bathroom door, Christian high fives Tomko as he walks in. Cornette waits for the door to close and jumps in the air and turns to Tomko. His face is blood red, he's breathing heavily like he just ran three miles. ]]

James E. Cornette: HOLY SHIT, TOMKO! HOLY SHIT!

Tyson Tomko: ..Wow.

[[ Cornette runs to the bathroom door and puts his ear to it to listen. Tomko grabs him by the arm and literally drags him away. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...No.

James E. Cornette: What the hell, Tomko?! That bitch is gettin' fucked by Christian! I bet she's a freak!

[[ From inside the bathroom around the same time. ]]

Christian: DAMMIT! NO!

Tyson Tomko: ..Blew it.

[[ The scene fades. ]]

[[ Fourty-five minutes later. No joke. ]]

[[ Cornette is half-asleep propped against the wooden locker on the wall. Tomko is staring at the door, not moving an inch. Finally, the bathroom door opens and out comes Christian, looking confident, smoking a cigarette. Very odd. Finally, Trish comes walking out, her hair's a mess, she's trying to fix her pants. She looks like she got ran over by a semi-truck. Cornette snaps out of his sleeping state and notices the two exiting. ]]

James E. Cornette: What the hell?

Trish Stratus: Wow...That was...Amaz-

James E. Cornette: No, not you. I'm talkin' 'bout you, Christian..Where the hell did you did a cigarette?

[[ Christian looks around, removing it from his mouth. He blows smoke and then speaks. ]]

Christian: I really don't know.

[[ He throws it down and stomps on it. He walks over to the still stunned Trish, goes in for a kiss but stops. ]]

Christian: I'd kiss you, but I know where that mouth of yours has been.

[[ He chuckles as his ego is just oozing. He gives Trish the double gun point and wink. ]]

Christian: You found out tonight just truly how I roll, babe. See ya' in the car. Can't miss me, I'll be the one with TWO title belts!

[[ Christian takes his SGW World title and Gimmick title off Tomko's shoulder and walks out of the locker room. Everyone just stands there looking at the door. Tomko looks back at Trish, his right eyebrow raised in suspicion. ]]

James E. Cornette: What happened?

Trish Stratus: To be honest, he was unlike-

[[ Cornette waves his hands, cutting her off right there. He puts both hands over his heart and speaks. ]]

James E. Cornette: No, stop! My heart wouldn't be able to take it.

[[ Trish stares at Cornette with a blank expression. Trish kindly snaps out of her shocked trance. ]]

Trish Stratus: Whew, that was something else..Well anyway, I'm so happy that plan worked. Jeff Jarrett can claim to be the greatest wrestler of all time, but tonight, Christian got the last laugh...And his precious SGW World title belt. What a master plan. Jarrett's one fear in the entire world got the best of him, and his belt...Again.

James E. Cornette: And they say I didn't know what I was doin' bookin' in OVDubya.

Trish Stratus: Anyway..

[[ Trish goes and grabs her bags, ignoring Cornette's comment. She comes back to Tomko and Cornette, splitting the two and opening the door. ]]

Trish Stratus: Let's go celebrate. Then it's back to work tomorrow.

[[ The work idea doesn't sit well with Tomko. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...Week off.

Trish Stratus: Well yeah...Christian does.

[[ She turns and looks back. ]]

Trish Stratus: But I don't.

[[ She exits as Cornette and Tomko look at one another. ]]

James E. Cornette: What?

[[ Scene fades. ]]

[[ We open now inside of a limousine. Odd selection of vehicle for the group, but hey, the cham gets what he wants. Christian his left arm around Trish and she's laying on his chest. Nothing like cuddling. Tomko sits to Christian's left on the other seat, and Cornette to the right. Cornette is admiring the leather interior. Christian's title belts lay to his right, the SGW World title closer to him. He glances down at it every few seconds, making sure it doesn't run off. ]]

James E. Cornette: When did we get a limo?

Christian: Stole it from Val Venis.

[[ Everyone looks at Christian, expecting a logical explanation. ]]

Christian: Sure I'm the champ and the big money paydays are coming, but pff, why pay for service when you can just take another thing from Val Venis? Like he's going to use this thing ever again. So why not enjoy a night on the town and put it on his tab?

Trish Stratus: Using Val, just like the olden days. Good reliving memories.

[[ Christian nods and presses a button. The sun roof slowly rolls back and Christian grabs his title belts and makes his way to the roof. He sticks his head out and holds the belts high in the air. The camera cuts to the outside, showing Christian holding one belt in either hand. ]]

Trish Stratus: What are you doing?

Christian: Living the moment.

[[ Trish steps up through the sun roof, clutching Christian tightly. The World title has sparked a new interest in Christian. He holds his titles high in the air, letting the wind hit him in the face and sway his belts back and forth. He lets out a loud yell, ala Leo DiCaprio from Titanic. Christian has it made in life, nothing can go wrong for him. ]]

Christian: I'M CAPTAIN CHARISMA...BITCHES!

[[ ..Until the driver makes a hard right, making Christian drop his Gimmick title! The belt falls off the top of the limo and onto the busy street. Christian freaks out. He looks like he just lost one of his children. Cars buzzing by swerve around the belt in the road. ]]

Christian: STOP THE DAMN LIMO!

[[ The brakes are slammed and everyone is slung foward. Cornette freaks out as he looks up to Christian. ]]

James E. Cornette: WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOIN'?

[[ Christian comes back down and looks at Cornette slightly embarrassed. ]]

Christian: I dropped the Gimmick title.

James E. Cornette: Screw that belt! You got the only one that matters!

Christian: Well yeah, but I can't be "Double Champ" if I only have one belt.

[[ Christian looks at Tomko. ]]

Christian: Tomko, you're my problem solver...I got a problem. Go get my belt.

[[ Tomko snarls. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ....

Christian: Please. I'll let you be the champ.

Tyson Tomko: ...Fine.

[[ Tomko leaves his comfortable seat and exits the limo. He comes back a few seconds later and hands the title back to Christian, who hugs it. ]]

Christian: Tomko, when I said I'd give you the Gimmick title..

[[ Christian nods, extends his arm with the belt and quickly pulls it back. ]]

Christian: I lied.

[[ Tomko grunts as Christian smiles. A few minutes pass by and the limo comes to a stop. The door is opened by the driver and the Coalition gets out and sees where Christian's had them come. It's a very elegant restaurant. ]]

Christian: Yeah, Adam Sandler said he'd buy me a drink. So why not, right?

[[ Tomko and Cornette make their way to the entrance but Christian is stopped by Trish. ]]

Trish Stratus: There's something I need to tell you.

Christian: Whoa! You can't be pregnant already!

Trish Stratus: No, no, it's not that.

Christian: Good, 'cause I'd totally deny being the dad. Because Captain Charisma don't pay for no crazy kids..So..What's your problem then, Adam Sandler?

Trish Stratus: Well, I'm not a big fan of his, but that's not it.

[[ Christian seems concerned. ]]

Christian: Then what do you have to tell me?

Trish Stratus: Remember when Amy Love joined SGW?

Christian: Who?

Trish Stratus: The girl that joined.

Christian: Mmmm..

Trish Stratus: Then you all proceeded to do a ripoff of the Anchorman segment on Shock a few weeks ago.

[[ A lightbulb flashes above Christian's head. ]]

Christian: Oh yeah...She dead?

Trish Stratus: No, not yet.

Christian: Too bad. It'd be cool if she was dead. I don't have a real reason, except she's a woman wrestler. And well, Trish, you know as well as I do women's matches don't belong in SGW. Kinda' like people like Taz and Val Venis. No need to be givin' the company a black eye.

Trish Stratus: Yeah, about the women's wrestling thing.

[[ She pauses and then finishes. ]]

Trish Stratus: Since you got the week off, I decided to get myself booked in a match.

Christian: Against who? You facing Undertaker?

Trish Stratus: No.

Christian: Oh. He sucks.

Trish Stratus: Yeah, suppose so..But on Shock, I'm going to dominate Amy Love.

[[ Christian smiles. ]]

Christian: Bra and Panties? Fulfill your Fantasy? Paddle on a Pole?

Trish Stratus: Nope. Straight one on one. I'm going to show this girl what women's wrestling is all about. I'll Chick Kick her head off her shoulders on Saturday.

Christian: Trish, I love you and all, you're my main squeeze. You've done a lot of things for me, and a lot of people for that matter...And well, seriously..Why wrestle her? Why bring that garbage into SGW? It's wrestler, not wrestHER..Or something like that. They don't give girls titles, they give REAL athletes titles...Like yours truly. In fact, I'm so good, I got TWO titles tonight!

Trish Stratus: Well, I'm facing Amy Love this week if you got my back or not. And yes, just like in our match against Vampiro, I'm going to rock her world. She won't know what hit her. She can throw all the insults she wants at me, but facts are facts..I am the single most dominant diva in sports entertainment history. Just like you're the best wrestler on the male side of things...I'm the best women's wrestler ever. Period. End of discussion.

[[ Christian really doesn't know what to think or say. ]]

Christian: I won't argue that..

Trish Stratus: Just think of what me winning one of the first diva matches in Solid Gold history could mean. It's us breaking records every time we do something out there, Christian...Me winning my match Saturday night gives me a better record than most of the current SGW record. Two wins is more than idiots like Michael Shane and Cactus Jack even have!

[[ Christian thinks it over. ]]

Christian: Now that I think about it, you kicking that chick's ass on Shock can only raise our stock even higher. Tyson Tomko, the most intimidating bodyguard of all time, Jim Cornette, the manager of champions, Christian, the most dominant wrestler in the history of this business...And Trish Stratus, the most dominant chick wrestler ever. I like that idea Trish..You always come through with a plan to make us end up being more awesome than we already are.

Trish Stratus: Chick wrestler?

Christian: What you are.

[[ She seems to take offense to that comment and steps up into Christian, staring him right in the eyes. She says in a serious tone. ]]

Trish Stratus: Chick is the name of the kick I'm going to use to kick her face in.

[[ Christian is silenced. Trish drops his serious act and looks laid back. She grabs Christian by the hand. ]]

Trish Stratus: C'mon, time to celebrate. This is your night.

[[ The duo restart their way in as the scene fades to black. ]]

[[ Inside the restaurant several minutes later. ]]

[[ It's very fancy. Only the best of the best are allowed in to mingle with the celebrities that overtake this place when they visit. It's all about who you know that lets you get the chance to enter. We bypass the entrance and go straight to the VIP room. The VIP room is even bigger than the restaurant itself. We cut to this one part where it's Christian sitting at a table, the SGW title resting on the table beside his drink. Vacating the circular table is Cornette and Tomko of either side of Christian, Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider. ]]

Adam Sandler: What a pay-per-view huh? I can't believe you won the World title.

Christian: I can't believe you eliminated Chris Jericho.

Rob Schneider: I knew he COULD DO IT!

[[ Cornette looks up to the ceiling. ]]

James E. Cornette: God, kill me now.

Adam Sandler: You guys ever talked to Maria? Man is she hot.

Christian: She's a moron.

[[ Sandler smiles. ]]

Adam Sandler: I know.

Rob Schneider: Adam was hitting on her big time backstage, and I looked at him and said, "YOU CAN DO HER!" Then I stopped and realized, "Hey, *I* CAN DO HER!"

[[ This brings a chuckle from everyone at the table except Cornette. ]]

Adam Sandler: I'll probably be divorced when I get home, but who cares? You know what it's like Christian, with Trish and all.

Christian: Tell me about it. With Edge as a brother, I'm trying to keep up in that department.

Rob Schneider: YOU CAN DO IT!

[[ Cornette dives at Schneider and punches him in the face! Schneider falls to the ground and Cornette shakes his fist. ]]

James E. Cornette: GOD DAMN! LEARN SOME NEW WORDS, YOU IDIOT!

Adam Sandler: But yeah..Anyway, so, straight up, what's Trish like?

Christian: She was a total tease until about an hour ago. Then I gave her a big dose of Charisma if you get my drift...Ahhh, it's GOOD to be the double champ. It's good to be the double champ, indeed.

[[ Sandler smiles a big smile as Schneider clutches his mouth and runs from the area, probably to get a towel to clean the disrespect off his face. ]]

Christian: But now, Trish is wrestling a one on one match this week on Shock.

James E. Cornette She WHAT?!

Christian: Yeah. She faces that Amy Love chick.

James E. Cornette: The bitch that 'caused us to do the Anchorman segment?

Christian: Yep.

James E. Cornette: I hope Trish kicks that bitch's teeth down her throat!

Christian: Well, it's obvious she's going to. Amy Love has as much of a chance of beating Trish as I do of ever losing my World title.

[[ Christian smirks and speaks. ]]

Christian: Or Rob Schneider being known for anything other than Adam Sandler's bitch.

Adam Sandler: That's the truth!

[[ Fade. ]]

[[ We now cut to Trish who is sitting at the VIP bar. She's in a conversation with Bill Clinton? What's he doing there? Bill Clinton is working his mack game all over Trish, because he knows her reputation. ]]

Trish Stratus: But yeah, Mr. Clinton..

Bill Clinton: Bill, call me Bill.

[[ Clinton tries putting his arm around Trish, she grabs it and polietly puts it back down with an uncomfortable smile on her face. ]]

Trish Stratus: Bill..Everyone's always shunning women's wrestling, but on Shock, I'm fixing to put it on the map. I'm going to make everyone take my as seriously as they take Christian. Amy Love is going to be nothing but the first diva victim on my list. I've already defeated Vampiro a few weeks ago, so Amy Love's not going to be a problem.

Bill Clinton: Amy Love, I tell you what Trish...She won't be any competition for you. I know don't who she is, but lookin' at you, I know she can't compete.

[[ Bill stares right at Trish's breasts and then back to her face. ]]

Trish Stratus: She's never made it to the big time promotions. She's not come close to doing anything I ever have in this business. I'm a six-time Women's Champion. I am the most unstoppable diva in this business. Unlike her, I associate myself with winners..Well, and unlike her again, I associate myself with people that are actually known.

[[ Trish stops and continues. Bill's not interested in her words, just her body. ]]

Trish Stratus: And hell, besides that...At least people know who I am! Everybody knows I'm Trish Stratus, the woman who led Christian to dominance. The woman who single handedly outsmarted the almighty Jeff Jarrett playing his own game of swerving against him. I've beat everything that's gotten in my way.

Bill Clinton: Oh, I bet you have.

[[ He laughs, thinking Trish is talking in a sexual way. Trish looks confused. ]]

Trish Stratus: No, seriously, I have. And not like that, Bill.

Bill Clinton: Oh.

Trish Stratus: So yeah, if you think you're going to have sex with me, think again.

Bill Clinton: Oh.

Trish Stratus: Yeah, sorry.

[[ Clinton begins to walk off. ]]

Bill Clinton: Whore.

[[ He walks off and Trish shakes her head like that couldn't have just happened. Clinton doesn't get too far before Rob Schneider looks at him, removing a bloody towel from his mouth. ]]

Rob Schneider: YOU CAN'T DO IT!

[[ Clinton snaps his fingers and Secret Service agents come from every part of the room and dog pile Schneider. ]]

[[ Back at the table with Christian and crew. ]]

Christian: I mean, don't get me wrong..Trish is my girl and everything, but watching a women's wrestling match is like going to hell.

James E. Cornette: Or watchin' the Dubya NBA.

Christian: Or watching Billy Madison.

Adam Sandler: HEY!

Christian: Oops.

James E. Cornette: I ain't too happy with this garbage bein' put on Shock, but it's Trish. I'll support her, 'cause I want that Amy Love bitch GONE! Her vacatin' a roster spot is like even considerin' the idea of givin' Taz the World title...A MISTAKE!

Christian: Women's only good for a few things...Dancing on poles, making dinner, and suckering people into letting me win the World title!

James E. Cornette: Damn right! But if we're gonna' have to watch a women's match, it may as well be us watchin' Trish kick that stupid bitch's ass! See her messin' with the Undertaker? Hell, Taker may suck in the ring, but it ain't below him to choke a bitch out! That's the dumbest thing she's ever done.

Christian: Not necessarily.

Adam Sandler: Taker's a bad man.

Christian: Yeah, guess he is..But that dumbest thing she'll ever do hasn't happened yet. It'll be when she steps into the ring with Trish Stratus, and expects to win. Yeah, when hell freezes over. If she beats Trish, I'll GIVE her the Gimmick title! Yeah, that's right, give it to her.

Adam Sandler: I'd give it to Trish.

Christian: No, Amy Love. Trish is mine.

Adam Sandler: She's an ugly chick.

[[ Scene fades. ]]

[[ Trish is now in a conversation with Lance Armstrong of all people. ]]

Lance Armstrong: I wish you a lot of luck Saturday night, Trish. I know you won't need it.

Trish Stratus: Thanks Lance. It means a lot.

Lance Armstrong: I know what it's like being talented but always being told you could never do something. That makes it a lot whole more better when you succeed.

Trish Stratus: They think just because I'm a woman I can't wrestle.

Lance Armstrong: Well, they thought because my entire body was covered with cancer, and that I was only given a thirty-eight percent chance of living, that I couldn't win seven straight Tour de Frances. Or have kids since I have one testicle.

Trish Stratus: Well, gesh, when you put it like that.

[[ Lance smiles. He's working his charm. ]]

Lance Armstrong: But don't sweat it. You're the best in your class, that's a given. I wouldn't want to be Amy Love, for once she's ugly, and secondly, I wouldn't want to get beat up by you.

Trish Stratus: Oh yeah?

Lance Armstrong: Of course not. Because if you was going to beat me up.

[[ He pauses. ]]

Lance Armstrong: You'd win.

[[ He smiles, Trish smiles. ]]

Trish Stratus: Amy Love's not going to know what hit her on Shock. She'll run her mouth all week, try to insult me, try to call me names..But none of that matters. Come our match on Saturday night, I'll shut her up for good, and show her who'd be the dominant diva ontop of the division if SGW had a women's division. She's going to look like a fish out of water when she steps into the ring with me. I've learned from the best, I know what it takes to stay on top..And that's what I plan on continuing come Shock!

Lance Armstrong: No doubt.

Trish Stratus: She'll be like a fish out of water, and I'll be like I'm shooting that fish in a bucket! Talking only gets you so far. You got to be able to back up your claims, and that's exactly what I'm going to do against Amy Love. No one's ever heard of her, but she's desperately seeking to be famous.

[[ Trish pauses. ]]

Trish Stratus: After Shock, she'll be famous for being known as the girl who was killed by Trish Stratus...Women's wrestling is frowned upon, but on Shock..STRATUSFACTION...Will be..

[[ She shows a cocky smirk. ]]

Trish Stratus: Guaranteed.

[[ Fade. ]]

[[ We fade up back to Christian and the group. ]]

Christian: Yeah, since I got the title now, maybe Trish will just stuck with me. She won't have to use herself to boost my career.

James E. Cornette: Yeah.

Adam Sandler: Damn. I was wanting my chance.

Christian: Sorry. Make a good movie then call me back.

Adam Sandler: ...I bought you a drink.

Christian: Yes, yes you did. I appreciate it, but sorry. Did you just buy me a drink to have sex with Trish?

Adam Sandler: Maybe.

Christian: Thought so. Well, she's closed for business.

[[ Christian stands up and is followed by Tomko and Cornette. ]]

Christian: Well Adam, nice hanging with you tonight. We got to go celebrate some more.

[[ He walks away from the table. ]]

Christian: Let's go find Trish.

[[ Fade. ]]

[[ We now see Trish and Lance Armstrong walking off together. ]]

Trish Stratus: So that one testicle..

Lance Armstrong: Oh yeah, it works.

Trish Stratus: Good.

[[ He chuckles. ]]

Trish Stratus: I'll make you forget Sherryl Crow.

Lance Armstrong: Who?

[[ They exit the restaurant as the scene fades. ]]

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade out. ]]

I'M BETTER THAN YOU AND I KNOW IT

Scott Smith