... C A P T A I N - C H A R I S M A ...

' Carrying The Weight '

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]

[[ Big C is back home where he belongs with unfinished business. ]]

[[ Traffic is moving rapidly on a busy interstate highway. Everyone is in a hurry to get to get to where they are going as quickly as possible. "Everybody's Working for the Weekend" can be heard playing incredibly loud in the background of the traffic. The classic 80's song is coming from one car in this parade of cars stuck in traffic. ]]

Trish Stratus: For the love of God, turn this song off NOW!

[[ And the blonde passenger of the red sports car in the middle of the pack speaks her hatred for a classic anthem of working people everywhere. Her command is left on deaf ears. No one makes a move. Trish looks around, in total disbelief that no one is doing her bidding. She reaches from the backseat to the radio and Christian, who is sitting in the front seat, stops her at the last second. She looks confused as Christian looks like he just detonated a bomb. ]]

Trish Stratus: What? Is everyone in this vehicle deaf? Is that why this horrid song is still blasting.

Christian: Trish, Tomko's driving. He's got to have his music or else.

Trish Stratus: You're kidding me.

Christian: It keeps him concentrated so he doesn't get distracted.

[[ Trish is confused. She's trying to piece together everything. ]]

Trish Stratus: Yeah..distracted...From what? Talking too much?

[[ She continues before Christian can reply. ]]

Trish Stratus: I haven't heard the big guy say one word since we've been doing this. NOT ONE WORD! So don't give me this 'distracted' garbage. I'm turning the station.

Christian: Fine. It's your funeral.

[[ Trish shakes her head and reaches for the knob. She twists it once and before she can give it another go. Tomko has a firm grip on her left hand. He doesn't look at her, but continues looking right at the road. Trish looks like she's been caught in a mouse trap. ]]

James E. Cornette: Oh shit...

Tyson Tomko: ....Good song.

[[ He releases the grip and Trish brings her hand quickly back to the backseat. Christian looks at her shaking his head. ]]

Christian: He's not said one word huh? Well, there was two right there.

Trish Stratus: Shut up.

Christian: Just like me, Tomko shares a lot of loves. Love for the women, the Peeps all around the world, the taste of championship gold, and songs that totally rule. Right T-Squared?

[[ Tomko, still not looking at anything but the road speaks. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ....Yep.

[[ Tomko returns to concentrating on his awesome 80's music to Trish's disliking. Silence overtakes the vehicle stuck in traffic except for the changing of songs. "Locomotion" now blasts from the speakers of the stalled car in rush hour traffic. Christian seems to be enjoying the music a lot. ]]

Christian: C'mon baby, do the locomotion! C'mon, c'mon..

[[ Trish just stares with an evil look on her face. Christian continues his song, but in a quieter tone, almost monotone. ]]

Christian: Do.. the loco...motion..

[[ Stares continue. ]]

Christian: With me...

[[ You can feel the hole being stared straight through his face. ]]

Trish Stratus: I'd suggest you get yourself ready for your match in SGW this week instead of singing STUPID 80's songs.

[[ Tomko turns his head back, staring at Trish. ]]

Trish Stratus: Yeah..I said it, STUPID 80's songs. Last time you were in SGW, we made it to the finals of the tournament. You were going to beat Steve Corino and finally become the SGW Champion, but for whatever reason, Shane McMahon closed up shop. Now this time, Christian, I want you as the SGW Champion, no exceptions.

Christian: No problem. I was robbed of my chance to put my name up there with the great SGW World Champions. But this time it's going to be different. Last time in SGWx, I was carrying this company on my back while I was laying the roster on theirs each and every week. I've been pinned once in my entire SGW career. ONCE in what's fixing to be FIVE years, Trish. Losing isn't in my vocabulary, winning titles is.

James E. Cornette: Damn right it's not, Trish! Hell, I was workin' backstage for Solid Gold when Edge and Christian first came in. I saw a star in him from the first week. But ol' Edge, he kept breakin' down on the team and chokin'. Last time in Solid Gold, that title was his, and if Jarrett's smart, he'll just go ahead and hand the belt to the rightful champion.

Trish Stratus: Yeah, like that's going to happen. Trust me, I was in LoC with Jeff, I know how he is. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't hold that title forever to boost his length of reign. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't award himself every title SGW had, right after he forced every SGW superstar to lay down and let him pin them...You let me handle Jeff, you just take care of Hunter.

Christian: Trish, you "handling" Jeff doesn't ease my mind any.

Trish Stratus: Why?

Christian: Well, I don't want to call you a whore or anything, but I mean...You did "handle" every SGWx superstar's merchandise last go'round.

[[ Tomko looks at Christian and voices his thoughts. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...Vanilla Ice.

Christian: YEAH! You did Vanilla Ice before the Christian National Convention.

James E. Cornette: Don't forget Corino..Victory..Eugene..George Clooney..Webster...

Trish Stratus: Enough, enough, I get the picture, okay? What's your point?

James E. Cornette: Don't handle anything.

[[ Trish snarls at her entourage as traffic picks up. She sulks in her seat. Christian tries picking up the conversation as best as possible by quickly changing the current subject. ]]

Christian: So yeah, on Shock, looks like I'm going back to the basics. Triple H is this big time player nowdays it seems. He's got the flock of followers, the thunder. Triple H currently is the 'biggest' name in this business it seems. You know what happens when I face the current 'big dogs' don't you, Cornette?

James E. Cornette: Damn right I do. If you need backup refrences, then just ask ol' Ric Flair. You rocked his world quicker than Trish can...

[[ Trish stares at Cornette, cocking her right eyebrow, he stops talking while he's ahead. ]]

Christian: It makes no sense why I have to play second-fiddle to all these nobodies. Triple H, The Game..Let's compare. 2003 Wrestling Hall of Famer...Hmm..I did that myself, a year earlier than he did. World Champion, yep, well, I did that too. Carried companies on his back, yep. Everything Triple H has to brag about, I've done BEFORE he's done and might I add...Done it BETTER. The only thing Triple H does better than I do, is totally suck! The biggest achivement Triple H will ever do in his life is DYING!..Besides losing to me of course.

Trish Stratus: Christian, you are the only true living legend in Solid Gold, in the entire business for that matter. You've gone through the wars, you've faced the greats in this business. This is Solid Gold Wrestling. This is your house.

[[ Christian lifts his hands up like he's raising the roof. ]]

Christian: WHOOP! WHOOP! WHO'S HOUSE? CHRISTIAN'S HOUSE!

Trish Stratus: Exactly right. This is SGW, you're in the Hall of Fame here. Three Tag Title reigns, Pick Your Title Shot Tournament Winner, you SHOULD be wearing the World title right now from the last SGW. Triple H did nothing but come in when you were busy taking your break from the sport, and just so happened to be the only decent wrestler left. Just like Flair did. When you fought Ric Flair, you were against the same odds. You were a stranger in your own house more or less. But you know what you did?

Christian: I kicked Ric Flair's ass. Damn right I did!

Trish Stratus: Now, 2006, SGW, same situation. All the supports of Triple H are doing nothing but hyping him up to be bigger than he truly is. In SGW when you first got here, you were the one beating all the Hall of Famers. You were killing legends before Randy Orton graduated high school. You put your name on the map as one of the all-time greats before Triple H was the game, and was nothing but Terra Ryzing.

Christian: Horrible ring name.

James E. Cornette: He wanted to be like Flair. Still does.

Christian: Good thing, because I'll help him be like Flair a lot after Shock. Because after this week's Shock, they'll both be the hot-shot big timers that were brought back down to Earth by (Slaps chest) Captain Charisma, baby! I'm not messing around this time. I'm doing whatever it takes to get my hands on the one World title that's escaped me. NOBODY is denying me my place among the greatest singles superstars in Solid Gold history. My quest to become the champion starts on Shock, when I steal my thunder back from Trips, and shut his lackies up. Triple H may be the Game..He can say he's "that damn good," but Trish...If you ask the Captain...He's that damn SCREWED!

[[ Tomko nods his head, agreeing with his boss' opinion on the match. Christian's confidence is oozing out of his body. He's ready to prove himself again. ]]

Christian: Seriously though, name one big thing Triple H has done.

James E. Cornette: Well, he was the RW World Champion wasn't he?

Christian: RW? Hah, what's that stand for? "Retarded Wrestling?" Seriously, I bet a bunch of legit retards held the World title when it was open.

James E. Cornette: Well, Val Venis was an RW Champ too.

Christian: Exactly my point..."Retarded Wrestling."

[[ Tomko's stone-like figure remains looking at the road as he's driving. You just hear him mutter one word that solidfies everything that was just spoken about. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...Diss.

Christian: I'm the obvious superior between us, and yet, I'm labeled the underdog. Triple H has won a bunch of second-rate titles, and got inducted into a bunch of last-rate Hall of Fames. Me, I'm the only legitimate superstar between us. Unlike some people, I EARNED my achievements...And I've actually beaten people with TALENT. Playing the underdog is what I do best, no pressure on me to go out there and wrestle. I know my abilities. I know I'm the best wrestler in this business, and when I'm called a liar..When someone thinks they're good enough to call out the Captain...Well..That's when I show them why I am the example that every superstar follows in this business.

[[ Christian is rolling with confidence. ]]

Christian: I mean, I don't want to brag, but I'm the one who set the bar of excellence everyone is judged upon to this day. People's reached it, and when they have, I've only took the bar and raised it even higher. Triple H has been a big fish in a small pond for a long time. Now, he's stepping out of his pond and into mine. That big fish is nothing but a goldfish in my ocean. This is SGW, this is me in my house, and on Shock...The card will live up to it's name..There will be a 'shocking' event.

James E. Cornette: Val Venis losing isn't shocking.

Christian: No...I'm being serious..A 'shocking' event is going down..Because all of the people who have doubted me..Everyone who has said I couldn't beat Triple H, well, they're in for a shock. Triple H is in for a rude awakening. Because on Shock, when Triple H enters my world, to steal a line from Jeff Jarrett...He's going to be entering Planet Christian, and it's not going to be pretty.

[[ The car comes to a stop at this large building. The parking lot is full of cars and every now and then, you'll see an ambulance drive by. We're at a doctor's office. Everyone is confused except Christian...And Tomko of course. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...Here.

Trish Stratus: Whoa, why are we at the doctor's? Something wrong?

James E. Cornette: Maybe we're checkin' you out for AIDS or something.

[[ She looks at Cornette, who was just trying to be sarcastic. ]]

James E. Cornette: Hell, too bad you don't take jokes like you take dic-

Christian: (Cuts Cornette off) No worries, guys. I'm just getting my back checked out today. Nothing major. Got to make sure it's strong enough.

Trish Stratus: ....

Christian: Well duh Trish, if I'm going to be the man who takes SGW to the promised land once again, I got to be able to carry it on my shoulders. I've been carrying promotions for years. My appointment is in ten minutes, let's go.

[[ The group follows their leader to the entrance of the hospital where the scene fades. ]]

**ONE HOUR LATER**

Waiting Room

[[ Oh hell no I'm not done yet. Get comfortable. Triple H is getting welcomed to Planet Christian the right way. ]]

[[ The scene re-opens inside of the waiting room. It's empty except for two inhabitants. Trish and Cornette. Cornette is reading through a magazine as Trish is sitting in the chair, looking bored as hell. ]]

Trish Stratus: This time..He's winning the belt..Right?

James E. Cornette: Hell Trish, he'd won it last time if it didn't close. Steve Corino was nothin' but a lucky bastard. I feel sorry for everyone in Solid Gold this time around. Christian hasn't lost a match since December 23, 2001, and Edge was pinned in that one. Christian is a damn machine, Trish!

[[ A look of relief comes across her face. ]]

Trish Stratus: I know he's got it in the bag, it's just getting over the first hurdle, you know?

James E. Cornette: Well, Christian has beaten SGW legends, ACW legends, and every other flash in the pan wrestler that's been thrown his way. Triple H is nothing compared to the battle he had against Flair. Hell, Flair ain't been the same since..Especially when you and Jarrett ruined his shit in LoC. Triple H is just another one of those flashes in the pan. Lightning in a bottle.

Trish Stratus: Yeah, you're right. It's just, I want everything to be perfect.

James E. Cornette: Well, I don't think you have much to worry about. This is Christian we're talkin' about. And he is facin' Triple H. A man who had to rely on ridin' the coattails of his buddies and marryin' the boss' daughter to get anywhere in this business. Christian worked from the ground up. He's done everything in this business but win the SGW World title, and this time, ain't a damn thing gonna' be in his way..If it is, it won't be for long.

[[ For the first time in a long time, Trish and Cornette are seemingly on the same page. ]]

**CURRENT TIME**

Doctor's Exam Room

[[ Boys and girls, this is how you get the job done. ]]

[[ Scene cuts to the exam room. Christian is being checked out by the doctor still. Got to run thorough tests to not miss anything of course. The doctor is a middle-aged man, some balding, like Mean Gene Okerlund. He slides up on his small wheeling chair, facing Christian, who is sitting on the typical large bed like table. ]]

Dr. Lloyd: So Christian, what can I do you for today?

Christian: Well doc, I'm just wanting to get my back checked out. Got to make sure it's ready for the long run.

Dr. Lloyd: Alright, that shouldn't be too much of a problem to look at. Back problems?

Christian: Nope. Just fixing to do some heavy lifting pretty soon.

[[ Scene fades. ]]

**30 SECONDS LATER**

Waiting Room

[[ Boy howdy, we're back in the waiting room. Cornette's got his tie loosened and is almost asleep. Trish looks bored out of her mind as well, filing her fingernails. ]]

Trish Stratus: This is ridiculous.

James E. Cornette: This ain't ridiculous.

[[ Trish looks interested in what Cornette has to reply that with. ]]

James E. Cornette: This is RI GOD DAMN DICULOUS! We've been here like, Christ, six hours or somethin'! They'll charge him a hundred damn dollars for that bullshit back check!

Trish Stratus: Nah-uh...Canadian, free health care.

[[ Cornette looks as though Trish just won first place and he got second. He rolls his eyes and mutters in his breath. ]]

James E. Cornette: Bastards.

[[ Trish cocks her eyebrow once again as the scene fades. ]]

[[ This had to be done. ]]

**CURRENT TIME**

Doctor's Exam Room

[[ And we're back in the doctor's office and the doctor is looking over some papers and x-rays. He seems satisfied, but Christian is sitting on pins and needles. Luckily, Tomko is remaining strong. That statuesque man he is. ]]

Dr. Lloyd: Well Christian, everything's finished and I just checked the X-Rays on your back. Everything looks perfectly fine. Whatever you plan on carrying shouldn't effect your back too much, if at all.

[[ Christian wipes imaginary sweat from his brow, and breathes a sigh of relief. ]]

Christian: Good to hear doc. Really is good news I needed to hear heading into Shock.

Dr. Lloyd: Shock?

Christian: Yeah, I wrestle for SGW. I face Triple H this week in the return show. I, of course, am the best wrestler on the roster and on the face of God's green Earth..So ya' know, got to keep my back strong to hoist this company on my shoulders and take it to the top one more time.

Dr. Lloyd: Triple H?...The guy with the stupid moustache?

Christian: The handle-bars?

Dr. Lloyd: Yeah..some physique..Horrible selection of facial hair features...Makes 'em look like a real goof.

[[ Christian cracks a small smile as Tomko stands behind him, arms crossed. ]]

Christian: Yeah, totally. I'm en route to becoming the SGW Champion, and it all starts when I take out Triple H. That's right, I'm going to play the Game..I got a pocket full of quarters, but the good thing is, I'm only going to need one. There won't be any 'insert more coins to continue' garbage. Oh no, the Captain's playing the Game, and he's playing to win the first time. There is no second chance, and it's a good thing, because I don't NEED IT! ....Right Tomko?

Tyson Tomko: ...Yep.

Christian: As the man who's carrying this company into 2006, I got to set the example. Leaders make the paths for the rest to follow. I'm going to show not only Solid Gold's roster, but the entire world that I am the man who achieved it all first. I'm not the type that has to sit down and do a long spew of commentary to make people think I'm going to win. I prove my points when I get in the ring. Then, it's academic. I'm going to treat Triple H just like everyone else before him. Line him up, and knock him down on his ass! I'm the true legend in this business. He can be the diamond, the game, cerbral assassin, whatever he wants...I'll just stick to being THE BEST!

[[ The doctor looks around for a way out of this. ]]

Christian: Ya' know, doc..I was going to mention my insomnia to you, and maybe get something for that, but luckily, since I'm facing Hunter this week..It'll be total lights out when he talks. I'm going to sleep like a baby.

Dr. Lloyd: Oh, I was going to suggest a Dave Batista interview.

Christian: Heh, nah..I just wanted a cure for insomnia, not a reason to commit suicide.

[[ Christian extends his fist towards Tomko for the rock bump, but Tomko gives him no love. He continues on like nothing happened, and Tomko continues standing there, being the problem solver that he is. ]]

Christian: On Shock, I'm fixing to give Hunter one hell of a reality check. He's been living in this dream world for a long time. It's to the point to where he's been told time and time again that he's the best, and well...On Shock...He's not going to be able to back it up. He's going to come crashing down to reality, and it's going to suck for him big time. I'm going to overcome the Game, and prove why I'm like something coming out of the mouth of Lance Storm.

[[ He pauses and cockily slaps his chest three times. ]]

Christian: ..That I'm not a joke!

Tyson Tomko: ...Boom.

Christian: My name is Captain Charisma..I score like a kid at its Bar Mitzvah!

Triple H can't beat me, and I'll leave Shock smelling like a rose..Triple H can't see it, because of his big ol' nose!

I'm gonna' wreck Triple H, send him back to tend to his lady. Because in nine months, Steph will be havin' my BABY!

I'll take your career and flush it right down the toliet bowl...No ifs, ands, or buts about it...That's just..

HOW...I...ROLL!!

[[ Christian slaps his chest again, and is looking like a new man after verbally owning Triple H like that. The doctor looks amazed, and even Tomko is liking what Christian laid down. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...Ouch.

Christian: Doc, thanks again, but after that, we ought to be going. I got to go sign the papers.

Dr. Lloyd: What papers?

Christian: Because after that, looks like Triple H is OWNED!

[[ Christian shakes the doctor's hand and walks out of the room with Tomko following behind him as the scene fades. ]]

|| Proof I'm Better Than You: Official E-Fed Hall of Famer(Class of 2002; Top Vote Getter); SGW Tag Team Champion(4; SGW Record); Undisputed SGW Tag Team Champion; Longest SGW Tag Title Reign in History(Sixty-Seven Days); SGW Gimmick Champion; SGW Pick Your Title Shot Winner 2001 and 2002; SGW Top Match(3); SGW Hall of Fame; SGWx Tournament Finalist; PWO Tag Team Champion(2); ACW World Champion(2; Never Lost); ACW Tag Team Champion(2; Never Lost); ACW Top Matches(5); ACW Hall of Fame; nEw World Champion(Never Lost); nEw Television Champ(2; Unrecognized); nEw #1 Draft Pick; nEw Hall of Fame; UCW World Champion; UCW Hall of Fame; sPw Co-World Champion; sPw Rumble Winner; DWR Hell on Earth Winner; AWE IC Tournament Winner; AWE Intercontinental Champion; AWE Top Match; RW Tag team Champion(2); PWR United States Champion; PWR Tag Team Champion(Never Lost); PWR Top Match; CWF World Champion; CWF Hardcore Champion; CWF Hall of Fame; WWA Intercontinental Champion; WWA Hardcore Champion; CWO Intercontinental Champion; CWO Tag Team Champion(Last Ever); CWO Hardcore Champion; CWO Top Match; WWF:Zone Intercontinental Champion; NMW World Champion; LoC Owner; #1 Fed Owner For 7 Weeks; Forced PWR and APW to Close TWICE in 7 Weeks Because of Pure Awesomeness; LoC Gimmick Champion; PWR World Champion(Sid got to count his); E-Fedding Doesn't Happen Unless I Say So; Countless RP'er and Quote of the Week; Tag Team of the Week, and Top 10 Rankings. ||