SGW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION - SGW GIMMICK CHAMPION - SGW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPION - SGW HALL OF FAMER
Roleplay Number: #016 ][ Record: Wins: 009 Losses: 000 Draws: 000 ][ Match: w/ Tom Cruise vs. Val Venis and Teddy Long
SGW Achievements:
' The Passion of Christian '
Your Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion
[[ Static. ]]
[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]
[[ Christian and Tom Cruise are seen sitting in a car in the middle of an alley. It's a cloudy day, not much sun out. The car is parked and turned off. The two sit there looking foward out of the windshield. Both men look like they just witnessed something horrible, the look of shock is across their faces. They remain silent, the only noises made is the noise breathing makes. ]]
[[ Christian is sitting in the driver's seat, the SGW World title laying across his legs. He's rubbing his chin, shaking his head. Tom Cruise is in the passenger's seat silent. His arms are crossed and his sunglasses cover his eyes. Finally, several seconds in, the silence is broken. ]]
Christian: Can you believe it, Tom?
Tom Cruise: I can't, no.
[[ Cruise shakes his head. Silence comes back, but is again quickly broken. ]]
Christian: I can't believe it.
Tom Cruise: What was he thinking?
Christian: He wasn't.
[[ Christian says nothing more. Cruise has nothing to say. ]]
Christian: Val Venis went for it all in his last promo. He's wanting my World title more than anything in the world. It's all he's thinking about. He wants his revenge on everything I've ever done to him...He wants to snap my winning streak.
[[ Christian remains looking foward. ]]
Christian: It's all what Val wants...But like I said last time, in life, you don't always get what you want. Val Venis used to be a big deal, people used to dread facing him because they knew what he was capable of. But during the years, Val just withered away, like a flower caught in a snow storm. Everyone forgot about him, people stopped being afraid of the big, bad Val Venis.
[[ Cruise doesn't even bother speaking, he's letting Christian handle everything. ]]
Christian: I got to say, Val Venis talked a good game in his first promo. He let me know for sure he's willing to do whatever it takes to take the title away from me, and to finally get out of my shadows. But it's not going to happen.
[[ Christian shakes his head side to side slowly. ]]
Christian: Why? How can I be so sure?
[[ Brief pause. ]]
Christian: Because I have the past and the present to back me up. Every time I've said I was going to do something in the ring, I did it! Every time I said I was going to beat someone, I did! This week will be no different, especially with it being Val Venis. Because it's like this...It's easy to sound all big and bad in a taped promo..It's easy to talk about winning belts and winning matches and getting monkeys off your back..But..
[[ He finishes. ]]
Christian: But actually DOING it..That's a different story. I've done it each and every time...Val, Val's not done that. He's got the past reputation of being the man to choke in big time situations, and being the man who can't carry the ball for a company when given to him. Val Venis has spent his entire career riding my coattails, hiding in my shadows...And now...Now he wants to break out and while he's at it, take my SGW World title?
[[ Christian cracks a small smile. ]]
Christian: Not going to happen. IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! ANYONE CAN GET IN FRONT OF A CAMERA AND TALK A BUNCH OF GARBAGE! ANYONE CAN SAY THEY'RE THE BEST! BUT ONLY I CAN BACK IT UP! VAL VENIS IS THE CRAP ON MY SHOES! HE IS BELOW ME IN EVERY WAY! IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY! ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY!!!....And you know what, Tom?
[[ Christian is starting to get angry. Just crazy angry. ]]
Tom Cruise: What?
Christian: When Heartbreaker goes off the air...The World title match is over..VAL VENIS WILL NOT BE THE SGW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
Tom Cruise: Nor will Teddy Long.
Christian: Val Venis has picked himself a fight he can't win. He's in a no-win situation! Think of all the people we've taken out over the past two months of Solid Gold. Bischoff, dead. Stacy's virginity, dead. Orlando's arm, broken. Krystal Marshall, broken neck.
Tom Cruise: I broke her neck?
Christian: There's a possibility.
Tom Cruise: Really?
Christian: Yeah.
[[ Tom seems surprised. ]]
Tom Cruise: Kick ass.
[[ Cruise looks excited at knowing he's hurt Krystal. ]]
Christian: The last one left is the one man who's been a thorn in my side for five damn years. And come Sunday, Tom...He will be taken out for good! Val Venis has just made his bed with that stunt he tried pulling. And now I'm fixing to make him lay in it! I'm fixing to make him choke on his damn words! I'm Captain Charisma, I'm the standard of excellence in the wrestling business! Val Venis is just another one of those second-rate wrestlers who's time has already come and gone in the spotlight...He's holding on tight for one last big hurrah..He's trying to fit in with a group of superstars he can't run with it. And on Sunday night at Heartbreaker..
[[ Christian slaps his title belt. ]]
Christian: I'm going to prove why I'm the SGW World Heavyweight Champion. This title lets everyone know who the best in the business is. This title is reserved for only the BEST Solid Gold Wrestling has to offer. And I will NOT stand by and let the seven year history of Solid Gold be tarnished by letting someone like Val Venis to have his name on the lineage of the title history! I will not let someone like Val Venis, someone who is known as nothing more as a big joke, be the man who breaks my winning streak. No way will it happen.
[[ Christian grabs his World title and looks at it. ]]
Christian: If I was facing anyone else, I might be a little worried. But after watching Val run his mouth, I stopped and realized...Hey, it's the same Val Venis who broke into the LoC headquarters and STOLE the SGW title because he KNEW HE'D NEVER...NEVER WIN IT ON HIS OWN! It was the same Val Venis who was carried by Johnny the Bull and Ted DiBiase to EVERYTHING even the HALL OF FAME....Talk is cheap, it's easy to talk, but a whole lot harder to back it up...And for Val Venis, backing up everything he's said against me is just IMPOSSIBLE!
Tom Cruise: Hey, that's my line, man.
Christian: I didn't say "Mission" in front of it.
Tom Cruise: Got me there.
[[ Cruise quiets on down. ]]
Christian: Let Val talk. Everyone knows damn well he's saying a line of trash he's not backing up. I'm not worried whatsoever. Let him go visit her in the hospital, let Orlando Jordan train Teddy Long. I'm not even worried about Teddy Long, and we proved last week Orlando Jordan isn't nothing a steel chair couldn't handle.
Tom Cruise: Broke his stinking arm!
Christian: Yep.
Tom Cruise: That was pretty cool.
[[ Christian nods and agrees. ]]
Christian: Val can go travel all around, he can go talk to his buddies..But while he's doing that, I'm getting ready. I'm preparing myself. Tom's been training hard. Business will be business as usual on Sunday night in the main event. This is the main event, this is all I know. Val Venis is the one entering unchartered waters. He's stepping into a land he doesn't know. I have every advantage in the world, and I'm going to win thanks to one simple reason.
[[ Christian holds up his index finger on his left hand. ]]
Christian: Because..I'M BETTER THAN VAL VENIS IN EVERY WAY!
Tom Cruise: Agreed.
Christian: Let the people talk. The people are all rooting for Val. They're like his Rocky Balboa. They want the almighty Val Venis to pull the upset of the decade over me. They're tired of seeing me carrying around the SGW title. Val Venis is their last and only remaining hope of saving the good name of Solid Gold Wrestling..But it's funny, those same people, at the same time they're worshipping me, proclaiming me as the man who cannot and will not be beaten...But that's fine, I don't want the fans support. I don't want the people playing both sides. That's why they're Val Venis fans, because he's the true snake.
[[ Christian pauses. ]]
Christian: The people want Val to walk away as the World Champion and lead Solid Gold into a new era. One where they can actually have a chance of being champion, huh? Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that's just not going to happen. The people are going to sit in the back and in the stands, and they're going to watch me beat Val Venis from one corner to the other. They're going to watch Tom Cruise send Teddy Long in the hospital room right next to Krystal with a Cruise Control...They're going to watch the best damn wrestler in the game today do what he does best...WIN!
[[ Christian is so focused. Tom is agreeing with everything Christian says. ]]
Tom Cruise: Yeah, I'm going to hit Teddy Long with the Cruise Control and pin him and win the title.
Christian: ....
Tom Cruise: SIKE!
[[ Cruise laughs and Christian just stares at him. ]]
Tom Cruise: I never did comedy well.
Christian: I've never been more serious about anything in my life. This isn't a laughing matter, Tom. This is Christian, the SGW WORLD CHAMPION, sending a message to a former friend. And the message is simply, don't get your hopes up. Because ask Ric Flair about that undefeated streak I ended. Ask Jeff Jarrett about the longest World title reign ever...Ask Chris Benoit, Steve Austin and everyone else I've laid waste to so far in Solid Gold...Ask them what I do in the ring..And they'll tell you..They'll tell you I BACK EVERYTHING UP!
[[ Christian rubs his chin and continues. ]]
Christian: Val Venis is a one-hit wonder. He had his era of hooplah...Until I stole it from him and never gave it back. When Edge took his girlfriend and abused his best friend, the people wanted him to show Edge a lesson. He let them down. The people wanted him to be their hero, the example of how it's done in the ring, and he's done nothing but show them how NOT to do it...And now, now they people want him to beat the evil champion and finally get his title win...The sad thing is, Val Venis is letting his fans down one more time.
[[ Christian picks up his title and kisses it. ]]
Christian: To be the SGW World Champion, you got to possess qualities Val Venis doesn't have. You must possess first and formost..Talent.
Tom Cruise: He has zero talent.
Christian: Fortitude.
Tom Cruise: Nope.
Christian: The ability to back up what you say.
Tom Cruise: Not even close.
Christian: And mainly..You must contain in your system...PASSION!
[[ The scene fades. ]]
[[ The scene immediately switches to the logo you see above you. It fills the screen and then we hear Tom Cruise as the voiceover. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): What makes the World Champion tick? What's the driving force behind his awesomeness?
[[ Cue up a small montage of Christian highlights as Tom is speaking. Just random match highlights, big wins, some promo shots. The usual hype video you see every week. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): People try doubting him. They want him to lose so it's easier on them, because they know with him as the World Champion, they'll never get the chance to hold the gold high. Christian is such a great man, he's fought against favortism and obstacles his entire career to get to where he is today. He's holding the one title they never said he was good enough to win.
[[ Cue up Christian beating Jeff Jarrett and celebrating with the SGW title. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): When people try ganging up on Christian, he comes out of the corner swinging. Nobody doubts his abilities and gets away with it. This man is the walking example of self-made excellence in this business. He's the champion and WILL remain the champion for a reason.
[[ Christian hitting the Un-Prettier on Hulk Hogan to win his first World title is shown. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Not because Val Venis is a total joke...Well, maybe that's part of it...But because Christian doesn't waste time. Christian is determined and prepared to get the job done for his "peeps" at Heartbreaker. He's working hard...Because Captain Charisma...
[[ Christian holds the SGW World title high in the air to a chorus of boos. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): HAS THE PASSION!
[[ The video fades with a stilled graphic of Christian pointing to his peeps on the top rope. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Witness Christian preparing for Heartbreaker over the span of four days leading up to his arrival to the event in Montreal. Witness a man prepare to face his toughest challenge in over two years...Witness the PASSION...OF CHRISTIAN!
[[ Thursday. ]]
[[ The screen is black and across the center in white letters is wrote "THURSDAY." The screen leaves and we're now in Christian's personal gym with a wrestling ring in the center. Tom Cruise is in the ring messing around, getting used to the environment of being inside a ring, doing his own stunts for once as Cornette yells at him from the outside. ]]
James E. Cornette: BUMP YOU BASTARD! BUMP! AGAIN! FASTER!
[[ Cruise follows along with the commands from the Lousiville Lip, he's looking worn. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Watch me, I'm ready to go...Anyway, while this is going on, Christian is preparing in his own right.
[[ We see a back view of Christian. He's pointed face first to the ring to watch what's going on. Trish is laying down on a bench beside him looking like she's ready to get freaking naughty. Christian's screaming. ]]
Christian: GET UP! GET UP! C'MON GET UP!
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): I was wondering what he was talking about until...
[[ The camera changes views and we see the champion not staring at the ring, but down at his crotch. He's begging at his crotch. ]]
Christian: I understand why you're hiding, but c'mon man, the talk of Val Venis is over. He's an afterthought. Right now I need you front and center so you can meet Trish. Remember how fun it was the last time?
Trish Stratus: Christian, you're making a fool of yourself. You're trying too hard.
Christian: Screw Val Venis.
[[ Christian immediately retracts that comment. ]]
Christian: No, not like that.
Trish Stratus: I hadn't planned on it.
Christian: Ya' never know with you. You did it with Corino.
Trish Stratus: We've gone over this a million times....But now you got the title, and let's face it, the only way you're losing it is if Tom pins someone before you...And we've already gone over all of that with him. And if he does, Tomko will take care of him like he did Bischoff.
Christian: I'm not worried about Val Venis. His talk is cheap.
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): He literally would kill me if I pinned Teddy or Val..But I'm not going to. No way would I ever want to win the SGW title. Not that I wouldn't want to, I'd just not want to defend it...Look at Christian though. He's got so much mack-game it makes Casanova look like a hobo! I'd nail Trish Stratus three ways from Tuesday. This is what type of man he is. He doesn't even have to worry about his matches..All he has to worry about is nailing Trish Stratus. Val Venis can't nail his chick...Because I broke her neck.
[[ Best voiceover ever. Trish gets up and hugs Christian. ]]
Trish Stratus: You're just too stressed out over this title defense, but babe, realize this...It's Val Venis. VAL VENIS! The same Val Venis who has never been able to match up to you EVER! Now, stop the crap and let's celebrate the death of Val Venis a little early.
Christian: I'm not stressed out over Val Venis, nor am I stressed out over the fact the people are rallying behind him. I could care less about all of that. The people rallied behind Tookie Williams, and Arnold still killed him...Not even Snoop Dogg could have the man. So that alone goes to show that just because the people support you, it doesn't mean you're going to prevail...Especially against me. I'm going to lethally inject Val Venis' career with the death sentence Edge didn't finish..
[[ Trish brings Christian closer and she kisses him. ]]
Trish Stratus: That's why, you're the champ babe.
Christian: I'm the man.
Trish Stratus: Yes you are.
Christian: And you know what I'm fixing to do now?
[[ Trish is interested. ]]
Trish Stratus: What?
Christian: I'm fixing to start the lethal injectioning a little early and going to start it right now.
Trish Stratus: Oh yeah?
[[ She comes closer to him. ]]
Christian: Damn right.
Trish Stratus: What are you going to inject?
[[ Christian smirks and rubs his hands down Trish's shoulders. ]]
Christian: Your pootanny.
[[ Horrible...Horrible pickup line. ]]
Trish Stratus: Good. I'll make you forget all about Val Venis.
[[ Christian smiles with all the confidence in the world. ]]
Christian: Val who?
[[ The two go and walk off with one another. Tomko is sitting in another chair nearby reading a magazine. He looks up from it. ]]
Tyson Tomko: ..Wow.
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Wow indeed, Tomko. Now, I'd love to show you what happened....But this isn't an Edge promo. That was last month.
[[ Tomko looks up and then down, and then all around like a fly is flying around his head. ]]
Tyson Tomko: ..Who's talking?
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): While Trish helped Christian take his mind off of Val, Cornette was helping me in the ring...And Tomko spent the rest of the day wondering where the voice was coming from.
[[ We see Tom and some random guy in the ring sparring around. Cornette is still barking directions. ]]
James E. Cornette: Alright Cruise, hit him with the Top Gun!
Tom Cruise: Got'cha.
[[ Cruise punches the guy right in the nose, kicks him in the balls, and then pokes the man in the eyes! What a combination of moves! The man falls to the floor holding his balls and Tom looks over to Cornette. ]]
Tom Cruise: That seemed a little low, don't you think?
James E. Cornette: I want to see the Top Gun used in the match, especially on Teddy Long. Nobody deserves a kick in the nuts more than damn Teddy Long. He can cram his ebonics and his Haterade bullshit up his god damn ass! Ain't nobody a better manager than James E. Cornette! I want you to kill him, Cruise! KILL 'EM! Then..You get the chance, I don't want you to hit this move on Venis.
Tom Cruise: You don't?
James E. Cornette: Nope, I just want you to smack the shit out of his dumbass!
[[ Cruise shrugs and then leans against the ropes. ]]
Tom Cruise: Ok, I can do that.
James E. Cornette: Good...Hey, Tom.
Tom Cruise: Yeah?
James E. Cornette: Give'em the Top Gun one more time.
[[ The scene fades. ]]
[[ Friday. ]]
[[ The same routine. Black screen with the day "FRIDAY" across it. We open up in a large building that seemingly everyone's cut a promo inside one time or another, the SGW Hall of Fame and Hall of Champions. The group, minus Tom Cruise walks down the Hall, admiring the people on either side of the walls, forever cemented into the history books, unless your Taz. Trish looks less than pleased to be in the place. ]]
Trish Stratus: Christian, everyone's been here before. It's not anything groundbreaking for us to come here.
Christian: It is when you see why I'm here. Unlike everyone else, I'm not going to try to damage inductions or anything, I'm just proving a point that Val seems to be forgetting.
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Christian knows the match is in the bag, just like everyone else. It's simply just a matter of wasting the amount of time until Heartbreaker. If you truly think Val Venis can pull the underdog upset, then continue watching and be prepared to change your mind.
[[ Christian stops and admires one entrant. ]]
Christian: How awesome is it that SGW let Randy Orton remain in the Hall after killing Taz and kicking him out?
James E. Cornette: God damn hysterical! Stupid Taz!
Trish Stratus: That is a great picture though, especially the spray painted "rKo" logo covering Taz up.
[[ Christian points to the heavens. ]]
Christian: Taz..We miss you buddy.
Trish Stratus: Not.
Christian: But don't you worry, come Sunday, I'm sending you some company. I'm sending Val Venis your way for you to throw over your couch. I'm doing it for you, my man! Doing it for you!
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Not only is he a championship caliber wrestler, he has a heart of gold.
Tyson Tomko: ..Hmm?
[[ Tomko looks around, still looking for the voice over. ]]
Christian: What's wrong big man?
Tyson Tomko: ...Voice.
Christian: Oh, that's Tom doing the voice over for this documentary.
Tyson Tomko: ..Knew that.
[[ They continue walking and Christian stops and looks at another induction. ]]
Christian: Finally...Here we are.
[[ The camera pans around showing off the Money Incorporated induction, and right beside it on the right hand side is the induction of Edge and Christian. A smile comes across Christian's face. ]]
Christian: Val's spent some time in the Hall of Fame trying to run me down. But that's not going to happen. Val Venis proclaims himself as the big legend, the hero of SGW..But look, everyone's favorite hero can't get his own Hall of Fame spot like I did. How does that justify his claims of him being better than me?...It doesn't. Val Venis of all people should know the history of Solid Gold, but it's obvious he doesn't.
[[ Christian looks at his induction, looking very proud of himself. ]]
Christian: We were inducted on the same day. But me, I EARNED my Hall of Fame spot, I was put in the Hall because Edge and I came in and dominated the tag team scene like it hadn't been since the days of the Dudley Boyz. Val Venis was only inducted because Johnny the Bull was beating everyone in his path...Including Val Venis. So Val just needs to cut the "legend" crap he's trying to pass over on everyone, because this right here shows he's nothing but a fraud. If you're wanting to see the real deal, a real man who has the achievements, then come look at me. If you want to see a joke, watch Val Venis. Plain and simple.
Trish Stratus: Val's stupid, we know.
Christian: It's not just that. If he's going to say he's better than me, he's got to at least prove it. So here, I'm going to show it's all false. His achievements don't match up to mine...C'mon, we're going to the Hall of Champions.
[[ Christian, ver determined, leads the way out of the Hall of Fame section and they now enter the Hall of Champions. It's nothing but hallways of photos in frames of past SGW Champions. On the walls you see Bret Hart, Shane Douglas, Goldberg, the Dudleyz, Edge and Christian, everyone. Christian stops in front of Val Venis' photo. ]]
Christian: Let's see what we have...SGW Tag Team Champion.
James E. Cornette: You did that! You did FOUR TIMES!
Christian: SGW Television Champion.
James E. Cornette: WHO CARES?! NOBODY EVER WANTED THE TV TITLE!
Christian: 2006 Pick Your Title Shot Tournament Winner.
James E. Cornette: YOU DID IT FIRST AND DID IT BETTER!
[[ Cornette's just laying it to Venis. ]]
Christian: SGW United States Champion.
James E. Cornette: THE BULL FUCKIN' HANDED IT TO HIM! HE LOST IT THE FIRST DEFENSE!
Trish Stratus: Is it really that big of a surprise?
[[ The steam's let out of Cornette. ]]
James E. Cornette: Well no.
Trish Stratus: Alright then. Val would do the same thing if he won the World title. He'd lose it to the first person Maria booked him against when she thought it'd be an easy defense for him...Then, next thing we know, we have stinking Kurt Angle as our World Champion. Val Venis is the garbage of the world, and he's not even going to come close to winning this match.
[[ Christian walks over to his picture. ]]
Christian: C'mon, come see how good I look!
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Christian takes great pride in his looks, and why not? He dresses so snappy it makes Don Johnson look like a pedaphile.
[[ Tomko looks around for that voice and then realizes. ]]
Tyson Tomko: ..Oh.
Christian: Christian...SGW Tag Team Champion, four times. SGW Gimmick Champion.
Trish Stratus: Gimmick champion, you even have that belt still?
[[ Christian thinks it over. ]]
Christian: I guess? I don't know where it's at though.
Trish Stratus: I forgot all about that title.
Christian: 2002 Pick Your Title Shot Tournament Winner...And the big daddy of them all...SGW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! It looks to me like everything Val Venis has done that seems worth a crap, I've done and I've done BEFORE HIM! I'm the man who paved the way for people like Val Venis to achieve things in this business. He should be thanking me. But there's one thing I've done in this company than Val hasn't...And one thing he WON'T! And that's wear this SGW title.
[[ Christian slaps the title on his left shoulder. ]]
Christian: Like MC Hammer once said, "you can't touch this!"
Trish Stratus: Please don't dance.
Christian: Now Val can't say he's better than I am, because I just proved it otherwise. Val is doing nothing but running his mouth, saying things he can't back up and things he knows nothing about. He has no idea what it takes to be the SGW World Champion. It's just not a title you're handed because it seems right. The title, dating back from Bret Hart in '99, has gone to all the greats in this company...If SGW was handing our charity cases the World title, then we'd seen Taz with a reign...But it just doesn't work like that!
James E. Cornette: Thank God.
Christian: So I guess it's up to me to send the Big Valbowski back to reality this Sunday night. When the bell rings to start the match, he'll quickly learn he's not messing with a push-over. He's messing with the SGW World Champion...He's messing with the BEST EVER!
Tyson Tomko: ..Yep.
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Christian continues showing the passion and the determination that's made him the legend he is today. We're now just two days away from Heartbreaker.
[[ The group continues walking around the Hall as the scene fades. ]]
[[ Saturday. ]]
[[ Yep, the usual black screen with "SATURDAY" flashes up and then leaves. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): The day before Heartbreaker. Christian's been working hard this week, so I decided to take him to a pep rally that George Clooney and Cuba Gooding, Jr. put together for us.
[[ We open up inside of a huge dining hall in California reserved for the stars. The room is full of huge celebrities and other people who claim to be celebrities like Will Smith. Why Will Smith is here, no one knows. The dining area tables are full of celebrities, and in front is one large table sitting up high on a platform for all the people to see. Sitting at the table is Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Jim Cornette, Trish Stratus, Christian, and Tyson Tomko. Everyone is dressed up in their best attire, except Tomko..He's in his usual black tank top, but he is wearing a black bow-tie. The man has class. ]]
Christian: This is great, Tom.
Trish Stratus: Yes it is, thanks.
Tom Cruise: Hey no problem. The best part of this thing is, everyone here had to pay five-hundred a piece to get in.
James E. Cornette: HOLY SHIT!
Tom Cruise: Yep, five-hundred dollars a person.
Christian: Where does the money go to?
[[ Tom smiles before answering. ]]
Tom Cruise: All of our pockets.
Christian: No joke?
Tom Cruise: Nope.
James E. Cornette: HELL YEAH!
[[ The comment from Cruise lifts everyone's spirits. ]]
Christian: I don't know what's better, collecting this money or kicking Val Venis' ass. I don't know which one to pick.
[[ Harley Race comes walking out of no where and looks at Christian. ]]
Harley Race: Forget Venis, he's a stupid son of a bitch, Christian! Don't be a fool!
[[ Everyone's stunned to see Harley Race come from no where. ]]
Harley Race: TAKE THE DAMN MONEY!
[[ Immediately after he's done yelling at Christian to take the money, Harley stumbles off and disappears. Everyone looks around in awe at what just happened. No one really wants to say anything, except Cornette. ]]
James E. Cornette: Did Harley Race just curse at Christian?
Trish Stratus: I believe so.
Tyson Tomko: ..Crazy.
Christian: You said it, Tomko.
[[ After the craziness of Harley Race settles, Tom stands up and shakes hands with Cuba Gooding, Jr., who has made his way to the platform podium. After shaking hands with Tom, he's introduced to the rest of the gang. ]]
Tom Cruise: Cuba man, how have you been?
Cuba Gooding, Jr: Man you know, same ol' same. Looks like you're doing alright.
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Cuba's so lying to me. He's not doing ok.
Christian: HEY! You're the guy from Party Boat!
[[ Cuba goes to shake hands with Christian and Christian laughs. ]]
Christian: No, I really don't think so. Why don't you just get this thing on the road.
Cuba Gooding, Jr: Fine.
[[ Cuba turns around and stands up at the podium. He clings a knife sold him by Eric Kotarski against a wine glass to get everyone's attention. The people in attendance quiet down and he speaks. ]]
Cuba Gooding, Jr: Alright everybody, it's time to get this show on the road! Tonight, we're all here to show our support for Christian and Tom Cruise!
[[ Applause. ]]
Cuba Gooding, Jr: Tom Cruise will be the first ever celebrity to enter inside of a SGW ring. In the ring he's going to go toe-to-toe against Val Venis and his manager named Teddy Long. So let's get some words from our guests of honor, shall we?
[[ More applause. ]]
Cuba Gooding, Jr: Alright..But first, I want to hear the words that made me a whole lotta' money..SAY IT BABY! C'MON, SAY IT!
Tom Cruise: No way.
Cuba Gooding, Jr: C'MON! EVERYONE WANTS TO HEAR IT RIGHT?!
[[ Applause. ]]
Tom Cruise: Fine...Fine..
Cuba Gooding, Jr: YEAH!
Tom Cruise: Show me the money.
Cuba Gooding, Jr: YEAH! ONE MORE TIME!
Tom Cruise: SHOW ME THE MONEY!
Cuba Gooding, Jr: YEAH! HELL YEAH! HERE'S TOM CRUISE!
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): I hate Cuba about right now.
[[ The place goes up in applause as Tom takes the podium. You feel a strong vibe of confidence as Tom begins to speak. He's laughing and waving to the people in the seats below. ]]
Tom Cruise: Thank you all, thank you. What a great night it's been, and I want to start off by thanking each and every one of you for coming out to show your support for Christian and I's efforts in putting Val Venis and Teddy Long in their places tomorrow night at Heartbreaker. I got to tell you, I'm a bit nervous about stepping into the ring for the first time.
[[ This gets a few chuckles from his peers. ]]
Tom Cruise: Tomorrow night on pay-per-view, you guys will witness my in-ring debut. Funny stuff I know, but I'm only going to be there for a few reasons..First, the publicity...
[[ George Clooney belts out a big, loud. ]]
George Clooney: THE PUBLICITY!
Tom Cruise: Then of course the money.
[[ Jamie Foxx supports his Collateral co-star. ]]
Jamie Foxx: THE MONEY! THE MONEY BABY!
Tom Cruise: And lastly, I'm here to help Christian remain SGW World Heavyweight Champion.
[[ No celebrity has anything to voice, but Christian raises both hands in the air and lets out a big. ]]
Christian: YEAH!
Tom Cruise: But right now, I want to get off the podium and let you guys hear what my tag team partner and friend has to say about the event. Ladies and gentlemen, here is the SGW World Heavyweight Champion...CHRISTIAN!
[[ A solid response from everyone in attendance as Christian stands up. Christian and Tom shake hands and Christian stands behind the podium, holding the SGW title high. ]]
Christian: Nice seeing all my peeps in Hollywood!
[[ Christian slaps his chest and points to the fans with his right index finger. ]]
Christian: Now, I hope you're all going to be watching Heartbreaker tomorrow night, not only to watch Tom in his wrestling debut, but to watch me restore order in Solid Gold. Everyone's sick and tired of me being the best, they're tired of me being their SGW champion, but they don't get to decide who the best is. It just comes naturally. Like Denzel over there making movies no one can hate, I'm a man no one can beat...You my boy, Denzel.
[[ Christian smiles and points to Denzel Washington in the back, Denzel returns the love. ]]
Christian: Some people call me too cocky...I don't think I'm cocky, I think I'm confident. And I have every right to be. For almost five years, there's not been one person who's stood in my way that I haven't wiped out and humiliated. I have defeated everyone who's gotten in my way, people far superior than Val Venis..Val's given me no reason to think otherwise. He's just a guy talking a lot of trash. Period. Until he does something to make me believe anything he say, Brett Albers will always be known as the man who hid in my shadows...And did Biblical roleplays when he was high.
[[ The fans applaud and Christian continues. ]]
Christian: Tomorrow night you're all going to witness domination. You're going to witness Tom and I dispose of two thorns that's been in my side for years. You're going to watch a man who has no business being in the ring with someone like me, and he's going to try to go all out. He's wanting to prove a point. He wants to be the hero, the man who finally beats me...But what he's going to be struck with right off the bat, is my fist...And the realization that him beating me is like Will Ferrell making a serious movie...It's not going to happen!
[[ The camera cuts to Will Ferrell shrugging and laughing, looking side to side to Steve Carrell and Owen Wilson. ]]
Will Ferrell: So true...So true.
Christian: I want to personally thank you all for coming to the pep rally tonight. It means a lot knowing Tom and I have everyone's support in my retaining the SGW title. The title I worked my entire career to win. I'm not ready to slow down and stumble..I'm not dropping the ball I was given by SGW management. Val is like the Little Engine That Could...I think I can...I think I can...But this fairy tale of Val Venis WILL NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!
[[ Behind Christian, Cornette looks over to Trish. ]]
James E. Cornette: I've never seen 'em so determined.
Trish Stratus: He's a man on a mission.
Christian: At Heartbreaker, Val Venis will be the thirtieth straight man to have tried to take me down and failed miserably. And thanks to your support and backing of monetary sums, when we get gone kicking Val Venis' ass...We're going to party all night and celebrate our greatness..I thank you all for the support. Everything I do in the ring, I do it for my peeps. I'm proud to call myself the SGW World Heavyweight Champion, and the man who will put Val Venis in his spot...FOR GOOD!
[[ Christian holds the belt high as the people applaud. ]]
Christian: I guarantee you all, my friends, my supporters...Tom and I will NOT let you down. Val Venis and Teddy Long, tomorrow night, will be DEFEATED in the ring. And I will remain the SGW World Heavyweight Champion, and Val Venis will be forced to go back to the drawing board!..Because THAT'S HOW I ROLL!
[[ A standing ovation ensues and a large "LET'S GO CHRISTIAN!" chant and following it is a "LET'S GO CRUISE!" chant. Tom and Christian raise their arms and the SGW title in the air as the people celebrate. ]]
[[ Fade. ]]
[[ Sunday. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Here it is, the day of the pay-per-view. For the past three days, you've witnessed Christian prepare for his biggest title defense ever of any title. You've laughed, you cried, mainly because you've realized your boy Val Venis is going down..Here we are in the final day of Christian's preparation for Heartbreaker.
[[ The scene opens after the usual black screen with the day like every day so far. We're in a limousine. Inside is everyone, and they're all looking ready to get to the arena for Heartbreaker. Tomko, Cornette, and Tom Cruise vacate one row of seats. Christian, Trish who is cuddled up with Christian, and Katie Holmes vacate the opposite row of seats. Christian's title belt is laying across Trish's lap. ]]
James E. Cornette: Hell yeah, this is it! Sunday, bloody, Sunday! The day Val Venis dies!
[[ Cornette tries breaking the tension in the room but to no luck. ]]
James E. Cornette: Christian, Tom, you two ready to handle business?
Tom Cruise: I'm ready to shut Val Venis up.
[[ Christian doesn't reply, he's staring out the window of the limo. ]]
Tom Cruise: How about you, partner?
[[ Christian finally snaps out of it. ]]
Christian: Huh? Oh yeah....Don't worry, I've never been more ready for anything in my life. Tonight you're not going to witness your everyday Christian match in the ring. You're going to witness a straight up massacre.
James E. Cornette: That's what I wanted to hear!
Christian: Today's the day everyone's waited for. Is Christian going to lose? Is Val Venis the next SGW champ? Can Val Venis do it? The answers to all of those questions will be answered tonight, and the answer will be obviously...NO HE CANNOT! Val's talked his way into the grave, and tonight, along with my foot, he's going to choke on his words! Because when you stop talking and you get in the ring, everything you've said..Everything you've done, your achievements, who you beat, all of that is thrown out the window. It becomes irrelevant. The only thing that matters in the ring is getting the job done.
[[ Quick pause. ]]
Christian: And that's what I'm going to do tonight. Period. Tonight's going to be the biggest letdown in the career of Val Venis. The man who wins titles and immediately loses them isn't going to have to worry about handling the pressure of being SGW champion and dropping the belt, because thanks to me, he's not going to win it in the first place. Everyone's going to realize that, when it's time to go in the ring, that Val Venis is still the same Val Venis they knew and mocked and laughed at...He's done nothing to even deserve this title shot, let alone win it. He's talked a mean game, and here in a few hours, Captain Charisma is calling his bluff and going all-in.
Tom Cruise: Tonight, Christian, we're going to win with ease, man.
Trish Stratus: Without question.
Tom Cruise: It's not going to be about how bad we're going to beat them, it's going to be all about who's the next one from that group I'm sending to the hospital?
Katie Holmes: You sent someone to the hospital?
[[ Cruise nods. ]]
Tom Cruise: Not only that, I broke her neck!
[[ Katie is in total surprise. ]]
Katie Holmes: I don't know what to say.
Tom Cruise: I plan on doing it again.
[[ Katie Holmes rubs her pregnant stomach. ]]
Katie Holmes: I love you.
Tom Cruise: Alright, cool.
[[ Cruise gives her the point and wink. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): I love her and everything, she's the mother of my child..But Tom Cruise doesn't tell women he loves them. No way.
Trish Stratus: Remember all those times I'd complain about riding in that car and not a limousine?
James E. Cornette: How could we forget?
Trish Stratus: I'd rather be back in the car. Because this limousine is giving me those Val Venis vibes.
James E. Cornette: Well hell Trish, this is Val's fuckin' limo!
Trish Stratus: The one we stole the night Christian won the title?
James E. Cornette: Yep.
Trish Stratus: The same one where we ran over the kid on the bicycle and racked up five-hundred dollars worth of fines billed to Val's records?
[[ Cornette nods. ]]
James E. Cornette: That'd be the same limo you fucked Lance Armstrong in.
Trish Stratus: ...Very funny. I didn't do anything with Lance, we talked about his relationship.
[[ Cornette reveals a yellow "LIVESTRONG" band that Lance Armstrong sells. ]]
James E. Cornette: I found this in between the seats, it was sticky as hell.
Tom Cruise: Then why are you holding it?
James E. Cornette: Fuckin' good question, Cruise.
[[ Cornette drops the band on the floor and everyone moves their feet so it doesn't touch their shoes. ]]
Trish Stratus: He spilled Coke on it.
James E. Cornette: Whatever. I do find it funny Trish, that just days after this happened, Lance and Sheryl Crow broke up.
[[ Trish shrugs, you can tell she doesn't care. ]]
Trish Stratus: Yeah and Val Venis is getting his ass kicked tonight. Some things I just can't control.
[[ Cornette finally gives up and Christian buts in. ]]
Christian: We're in this limo because it's on Val's dime. He's the man of transportation, so why not use him to our advantage. I used him in AWE when we were the Standard. He used to beatdown anyone who was stepping in my way. I used him as a friend to make myself feel better because he'd take jokes and slurs better than anyone...And now I'm going to use Val Venis in Solid Gold at Heartbreaker..I'm going to use Val Venis to make myself look like I am the most dominating wrestler of allllllll time! I already am, but why not totally humiliate Val in the middle of the ring in record time?
Tom Cruise: Speaking of that, we got to get Heartbreaker done early tonight. Diddy's throwing us a party.
Christian: Don't worry about it, Tom. It's Val Venis and Teddy Long. Val Venis can't wrestle his way out of a wet paper bag, and Teddy Long is a Cruise Control away from death. Tonight, we go into the ring, show everyone that Val Venis is only good for talking smack, that he can't beat Captain Charisma, nor is he good enough to carry the SGW title...We pin him for the 1-2-3, you hand me my title...We pose for some pictures, and we're done.
[[ Tom nods. ]]
Tom Cruise: Sounds good to me, man. I'm ready!
Christian: I've been ready. I've been ready all week. I've been trying for over a month to prove that I'm worthy of being the SGW champion. I fought criticism and people wanting to take the title off me week after week, but no one's been able to do it yet, and tonight...It won't be any different! Val can put up a great effort, he may come real close, but when it's all said and done, and I've retained my title..The people will be saying, "Val, close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades, not SGW title matches."
Tyson Tomko: ..And darts.
Christian: That too...But tonight, Val Venis suffers the worse loss of his career at the hands of the man who's overshadowed him his entire life. Let Val try all he wants to beat me, but beating me is like beating a limp penis..It's not going to happen no matter how hard you try. I'm going to ruin Val Venis not because I want to...But because that's.
HOW...I...ROLL!!
Tom Cruise: Yeah, Val Venis winning the SGW World title is a pure..
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!
[[ Christian and Cruise shake hands, looking ready to rumble tonight. The limo comes to a stop and the door is opened. ]]
Driver: We're here.
[[ Tomko is the first out, followed by Cornette, Cruise, Katie, Trish, and then Christian. Christian looks around at the arena, a confident look on his face. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): We're finally here. We arrived at the final resting place of Val Venis and his career. Look at Christian, he's so confident. He has every right to be. He's won twenty-nine straight matches, he's the SGW World Champion. No one can remember the last time he was defeated. He has every right in the world to be confident, especially against Val Venis.
[[ Everyone starts walking towards the back entrance of the arena. ]]
Trish Stratus: Well, here we are.
James E. Cornette: I can't fuckin' wait! Val's gonna' DIE!
[[ Tomko and Cornette walk in. Tom and Katie are holding hands, but Tom stops walking and shakes hands with his partner. ]]
Tom Cruise: I'll meet up with you a little later, ok?
Christian: Alright.
[[ They walk in, leaving Trish and Christian. Trish hands Christian the SGW World title. ]]
Trish Stratus: Here's your belt, champ.
Christian: Thanks.
Trish Stratus: Chill out a little bit, it's just Val Venis.
[[ She hugs him and kisses him on the cheek. ]]
Trish Stratus: Relax, it's going to be business as usual. It's VAL VENIS, babe!
Christian: I know.
Trish Stratus: Be careful, or he'll cut another Adam and Eve promo on you or something.
[[ She laughs, trying to draw something out of him. ]]
Trish Stratus: Don't sweat it, you're going to win. It'll just be by a matter of how badly?
Christian: I know...I know. Val's going down.
[[ Christian looks at his SGW title, he kisses it. ]]
Christian: Alright..
[[ Deep breath. ]]
Christian: Let's go take care of business.
[[ Trish and Christian walk into the arena hand in hand. ]]
Tom Cruise(Voiceover): Here is the man himself looking more serious than he ever has in his life. He's determined, he's confident, he's passionate about keeping his title tonight. He's doing it without a problem, because that's how the ball bounces. You cannot defeat Christian, because he takes every match seriously..He's full of PASSION!!
[[ The scene fades. ]]
[[ Static. ]]
[[ Fade out. ]]
Scott Smith || xxscottxsmithxx