SGW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION - SGW GIMMICK CHAMPION - SGW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPION - SGW HALL OF FAMER
Roleplay Number: #013 ][ Record: Wins: 008 Losses: 000 Draws: 000 ][ Match: Total Elimination
SGW Achievements:
' Gone Crazy '
Your Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion
[[ Static. ]]
[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]
[[ A doctor's office. A small office fills the view. The walls are covered in a horrid color of pale green, horrible paintings are on the walls, covering the site as best as possible. Seven chairs vacate the lining of the walls, providing a gap for the door to the back exam rooms and for the nurse's window to sign in. In three of the chairs sits Trish Stratus, Tyson Tomko, and Jim Cornette. Trish sits in a seat that's one away from Tomko and Cornette. They look bored and irritated, as there's no telling how long they've been sitting there. ]]
Tyson Tomko: ..Bored.
James E. Cornette: You can say that again.
[[ He does. ]]
Tyson Tomko: ...Bored.
[[ Cornette smirks and looks at Tomko. Trish pays no attention to the conversation at hand, she's covering her ears. ]]
Trish Stratus: What is this music playing?
James E. Cornette: C'mon Trish, you know how these types of places are. They ain't known for playin' good music.
Trish Stratus: Huh?
James E. Cornette: Alright Taz, enough of that shit.
[[ She removes her hands from her ears. ]]
Trish Stratus: Oops.
James E. Cornette: I'm glad the little shit finally got what was comin' to 'em! That memorial service was the best thing to ever happen to wrestlin'!
Trish Stratus: I'm just glad Christian removed another obstacle out of his hair for good. The obstacle being Taz made it even sweeter.
Tyson Tomko: ..Yep.
Trish Stratus: It's nothing but smooth sailing from here on out. That title is Christian's for good officially.
James E. Cornette: Speakin' of 'em, where's the champ at?
[[ She shrugs. ]]
Trish Stratus: I have no idea. His appointment is in five minutes.
[[ And with perfect timing, the door of the office is pushed wide open. In walks Christian, holding the SGW World title in the air. You know what's coming next as soon as you seen him smiling. ]]
Christian: CHRIS-TIAN! CHRIS-TIAN!!!!....THE SGW CHAMPION OF THE WORLD IN THE HOUSE!!!
[[ He raises the roof and walks in casually. ]]
Trish Stratus: Where have you been?
Christian: I've been talking to Tom on the phone about the stunt he pulled last night.
James E. Cornette: Maria givin' him a title shot was the greatest thing I ever seen.
Christian: It was the right choice, I mean, there's no one else in SGW worth facing me for the title. Seriously, who else is there in SGW that I haven't beat? Everyone who's thought they were on my level got send packing down out of my ballpark already.
Trish Stratus: Which is why you're facing Benoit AGAIN this week.
[[ Christian rolls his eyes. ]]
Christian: Not just that, me and Tomko have to face four others. No matter what they try to do, the odds still can't be evened out. Those five against me is even, but with Tomko on my team...It's unfair. Right big man?
Tyson Tomko: ..Boom.
Trish Stratus: You also have Lance, Kennedy, and Show.
[[ He looks unimpressed. ]]
Christian: Big deal? And I'm supposed to be impressed how? I'm the SGW World Champion, a legend in this business..Tell me what my partners have done to make themselves worthy of being on my team? Not so much being on my team, but being given the honor of me CARRYING them to a victory! I'm already carrying the company on my shoulders, pumping blood into its heart...And now I'm supposed to carry three other idiots to a win?
Trish Stratus: They'll get eliminated anyway.
Tyson Tomko: ..I won't.
Christian: Damn right you're not, Tomko! We'll be the last two standing, and I'll register every elimination on the other team. It's how we roll, right Tomko?
[[ He nods. ]]
Christian: Maria's just trying to make me run the gauntlet to weaken me. It's not going to work. I don't know how stupid she is, but giving me Chris Benoit is NOT a way to weaken me down...Neither is giving me him and his gay buddy Malenko, along with three other guys who don't even have half as wins combined as I do so far in SGW...And that's a lot of wins. I rule like that.
Trish Stratus: This Total Elimination match is nothing but a total massacre.
Christian: No doubt in my mind.
James E. Cornette: I think it's 'bout time to stop givin' out charity. First you're lettin' Benoit step up to the main event and fight for a belt he ain't even worthy of polishin', and now you're leadin' a bunch of midcard goofs to a victory the week before Heartbreaker! And you're even lettin' Kennedy and Show keep them tag titles...I was expectin' you and Edge to go ahead and take them off 'em by now!
Christian: Give that last one some time. My record isn't being broke..And I know, Cornette. I'm getting sick and tired of sacrificing myself to make others look good. When we win this elimination match on Shock, I want Lance Storm, Ken Kennedy, and Big Show to come up to me after the match, and I want them to thank me personally for giving them a win they usually don't get.
[[ He looks to Tomko. ]]
Christian: Tomko, you don't have to thank me. You're undefeated in your own right.
Tyson Tomko: ..Yep.
Trish Stratus: Look, everyone knows you and Tyson are going to win this week and everything...But there's one question I have to ask.
[[ Christian puts his arm around Trish. ]]
Christian: Yes, we'll get it on tonight. I GUESS I could find the time.
[[ She shakes her head. ]]
Christian: Well I was kidding anyway.
Trish Stratus: No you weren't.
Christian: Just ask your question, Trish.
Trish Stratus: Ok...What was up with singing last night? Really, who decided "Afternoon Delight" was in the gameplan?
[[ Christian shrugs. ]]
Christian: I didn't know..I just went with it. Another thing I didn't know that amazed me was how good of a singer Hassan is. He's got the voice of a Siren.
Trish Stratus: ...
Tyson Tomko: ...
James E. Cornette: ...
[[ Christian looks confused. ]]
Christian: It's the truth, dammit!
James E. Cornette: Kennedy's rocket sound was impressive.
Christian: Indeed is was.
[[ Christian nods. ]]
Trish Stratus: What I'm still wondering is how Orton escaped prison time?
James E. Cornette: I have no clue.
Trish Stratus: It makes no sense.
Christian: All I know is, Orton may want to lay low for a while. Maybe find a relative's or a safe house to stay in, because he's probably wanted for murder. Taz is dead, and that's no good.
[[ Everyone agrees. ]]
James E. Cornette: Damn right it's not...Neither is Kennedy and Show weeks away from breakin' you and Edge's tag record!
Christian: I'm letting them get that false sense of security. Then when they're close to breaking the record, I'll stomp out that flame and become a triple champion. But for now, I'm letting him and Show catch a ride on the Charisma bandwagon for a week. I'll have to get my back straightened out afterwards though...Show is a large man.
Tyson Tomko: ..Fat.
[[ Tomko looks confident in his slam. ]]
Christian: Yes he is, and not in the good way.
James E. Cornette: This is another week of goin' through the motions. Hell, look at your opponents, Shawn Michaels...Old. Kevin Nash, one step away from a quad tear..Malenko and Benoit are too fuckin' busy to worry about wrestlin' 'cause they're playin' rock, paper, scissors to decide which one's gonna' be the one gettin' their damn fudge packed..And Steve Austin, Mr. If Losing Was Cool I'd Be Mr. Popular. What a motley crew of untalented pieces of trash!
Trish Stratus: Why does all you "Mr." nicknames for people always end up being incredibly long and meaningless?
[[ Cornette looks disappointment. ]]
James E. Cornette: I don't know.
Christian: Steve Austin, the Texas Rattlesnake. He must have ripped his promo style off Taz, because he can hear for beans! I'll send him a lesson up close on personal Saturday night that words won't describe. It'll just be...Un-Pretty.
[[ He smiles and pauses looking confident. ]]
Christian: How about that play on words?
James E. Cornette: Genius. Pure genius.
Trish Stratus: Nash and Shawn Michaels aren't a big deal. I didn't even know they were in Solid Gold until just right now.
Christian: Really?
[[ She looks surprised. ]]
Trish Stratus: No idea.
Christian: They asked me for five dollars so they could buy some beer and get laid. I thought for sure it was their turn.
[[ A stare that could kill. ]]
Trish Stratus: ....
Christian: ..To get their asses kicked by me.
[[ Trish looks less mad. Christian seems relieved. ]]
Trish Stratus: Better.
Christian: You didn't even let me finish.
[[ Cornette jumps in with the quick change of subject. ]]
James E. Cornette: Don't forget Benoit and Malenko, Bert and Ernie, the faggot cowboys from Brokeback Mountain, Brett and Matt, whatever the hell they are. Better not let them grab you from the Venis position, or it's game over.
[[ Everyone's confused. ]]
James E. Cornette: From behind.
[[ They understand. ]]
Christian: The "Venis position" is catchy...Disgusting..But catchy.
James E. Cornette: You like that? I put it together since, ya' know, Val was a porn star and all..Thought it was damn near genius.
Tyson Tomko: ..No.
James E. Cornette: Hell I tried.
[[ He throws his hands in the air to show submission. ]]
Christian: Maybe the psychiatrist can help me figure out what's going on. People's playing with my mind. First they love me, then they hate me. They think they can beat me, I beat them, and then they come back for more...Saying they're going to beat me. It's driving me nuts.
Trish Stratus: Not to mention you flipped over a casket.
Christian: I had to do what I had to do. I'm not a man who starts something and doesn't finish it. He wanted to go down in SGW history...And he did. I warned him not to make me flip his casket over, and he left me no choice. So, just like I did when he was on that stretcher in SGWx..I flipped his world upside down one last time!
Trish Stratus: I've heard all about Taz that I want to hear.
[[ She saved, because the door that leads to the back offices opens and out comes a receptionist. ]]
Christian: Mr. Reso, Mr. Tomko.
[[ Tomko raises his eyebrow. ]]
Tyson Tomko: ..Not crazy.
Christian: Of course not, neither am I. But c'mon, you're my problem solver...Let's go solve a problem.
Trish Stratus: Yeah Tyson, either you can go solving problems like Mary Kate and Ashley, or just bring me back a bottle of water.
James E. Cornette: Me too.
[[ He takes no time to think the options over. ]]
Tyson Tomko: ..Let's go.
[[ Tomko and Christian stand up and walk to the back. Trish and Cornette are left by themselves. Trish waits for them to get through the door before saying anything else. ]]
Trish Stratus: Tomko is the laziest person I've ever met.
James E. Cornette: Got that right...He's got a really neat goatee though.
[[ Fade. ]]
[[ The scene reopens inside of this very clean and organized office. It's your typical office of a psychiatrist. Tons of books vacate spaces in bookshelves lined all across the walls of the large office. There's a good view out of the large picture window on the opposite side of the room from the door. In the middle is a chair, which is seating the doctor, and a couch for the patient. The doctor sees his two patients, stands up and greets them. ]]
Dr. Vaughn: Hey guys, I'm Dr. Vaughn. You two ready for some therapy?
Tyson Tomko: ..No.
Dr. Vegas: Great then. Alright, Mr. Reso lay down on this couch. Mr. Tomko, you can sit in this chair.
[[ Christian lays down on the large couch and stretches. Tomko sits in a folding chair, looking like he's contemplating jumping out of that window. ]]
Dr. Vaughn: Ok, now, let's talk about what's bothering you two.
Christian: I'll start, doc.
[[ Tomko sits there silent as always as Christian speaks. ]]
Christian: See, I'm a wrestler, well, not just an ordinary wrestler, I'm the BEST wrestler in the world today. I'm the SGW World Champion. And when I was marching my way foward to the main event to grab this title, everyone was rooting for me. Everyone was hopping on the bandwagon and totally wanting to have my children.
Dr. Vaughn: Then what went wrong?
Christian: I won the title, and immediately everyone who said they loved me, said I deserved everything I won, started booing me. They stabbed me in the back and started trying to rally people against me. I mean, I don't care if people love me or not, I'm in this business to prove my abilities to myself and no one else. I've already got friends, so I'm not here trying to make new ones. I just can't figure out people sometimes. They're all two-faces.
Dr. Vaughn: That's an easy one to answer.
[[ Christian looks up, curious. ]]
Dr. Vaughn: It's just jealousy. Plain and simple jealousy.
Christian: It makes sense if you think about it. I mean, look at me. I'm the best wrestler in the game today, I have the World title with six years of history, the title that only the greats have held, I have Tomko to solve my problems, a loud-mouth genius of a manager...And let's not forget I have the hottest chick in wrestling having sex with me.
Tyson Tomko: ...
Christian: Not all the time, like...Three times.
[[ The stares from Tomko continue. ]]
Christian: Twice.
[[ Still going, Christian grunts. ]]
Christian: Fine, once. But still, I rocked her world. She couldn't walk when I got done with her.
Tyson Tomko: ...
Christian: Dammit, fine that was Edge. Thanks Tomko, that's a damn lot.
[[ Tomko nods. ]]
Dr. Vaughn: Let's change the subject and work some other kinks out.
[[ The doctor gets in a rolling chair and slides towards Tomko and Christian. ]]
Dr. Vaughn: I read in your files that you're becoming irritable with the roster of SGW.
Christian: That's right. I'm getting pissed off because seriously, how many people do I have to beat before people just stop and recognize me as the best? I'm the World Champion, not because it was handed to me like some sort of charity case, I EARNED IT! I've beaten everyone I've faced in Solid Gold so far in the middle of that ring, one, two, three. I've won twenty-eight straight matches...More than some win in their entire lives! It's just driving me crazy.
[[ Pause. ]]
Christian: I've got all these people gunning for me, coming from the lowcard, from the uppercard, heck, even people not in the company want a crack at Captain Charisma! It's driving me crazy to the point of insanity...Like for example, doc..This week on Shock..
Dr. Vaughn: I loved the rendition of "Afternoon Delight" last week.
[[ Christian cracks a smile. ]]
Christian: Thanks. It was my idea.
[[ Tomko rolls his eyes. ]]
Dr. Vaughn: I thought, for an Arabic, Hassan had a great voice...Like a siren almost.
Tyson Tomko: ....
Christian: Really? Me too.
Dr. Vaughn: Speaking of Taz, he was a regular here. He used to come to me every week and I'd have to sit and listen about the antics you, Hassan, and Jarrett used to do to him in the back. And on top of that, he told me that he once suplexed a teenager onto the hood of a Miata, and called the kid Bret Hart.
Christian: He told me to do squats because I was fat.
[[ Shock. ]]
Dr. Vaughn: Idiot.
Christian: Yep.
Dr. Vaughn: He also would tell me about Val Venis hanging with you three just to find out what was going on, and then he'd report to Taz and let him know what was going on...And that Val even made him cookies once.
Christian: Val Venis is nothing but a snitch..A...A snake.
Tyson Tomko: ...Hiss.
[[ Tomko said that with his arms crossed and with no emotion. Christian nods at Tomko's direction. ]]
Christian: Val Venis represents everyone else in this company. They act like they love you, but when they get the chance, they bite. Val Venis is going to get what's coming to him when the time comes..I'm going to rip that snake's head off...But doc..What I was trying to get to while ago before you were trying to bring back the memory of Taz..
Dr. Vaughn: Oh yes, right..
Christian: Yeah, this week on Shock, me and Tomko are in a five-on-five elimination match...Now tell me, how in the world can Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko think they're going to be winning this match for their team? How? I beat Chris Benoit with the World title on the line last week. I beat him in the middle of the ring fair and square..
Tyson Tomko: ..Idiot.
Christian: And it's not so much me beating them and then they want another match...But doc, Benoit and Malenko are holding back their true feelings. I've had to sit through a couple promos so far, and I've seen how they act around each other. They don't belong in a wrestling ring with me. I'm not down with playing pitcher and catcher if you know what I mean..
Dr. Vaughn: Disgusting.
[[ Christian agrees. ]]
Christian: Then there's Steve Austin, speaking of snakes..This guy sucks so bad, he couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat! He couldn't wrestle his way out of a wet paper bag! He's not known as the big, bad Texas Rattlesnake anymore..He's known as the guy you face if you want an easy week! He screams "WHAT?!" all the time and drinks beer like it's water...if his kidneys don't kill him, then I will!
Dr. Vaughn: Steve's alcohol content could be altering his thinking and decision making.
Christian: Then he'd best sober up so he doesn't make the worst decision of his life.
Dr. Vaughn: Beating another woman?
[[ Christian shakes his head no and confidently says. ]]
Christian: Stepping in the ring against me and Tomko.
Tyson Tomko: ...Snap.
Christian: Austin kills me with his impersonation of deaf Taz. It's dead on.
Dr. Vaughn: Now what's wrong with the last two opponents?
Christian: They've come into SGW, won a match, and now they think they're automatically ready to step into my world and get a win over me. Seriously, doc, am I crazy, or is trying to step up against me something you dont' do if you're not ready? I showed last week Benoit wasn't..And the past twenty-seven matches before that I showed that I wasn't a man to mess with!
[[ He continues with passion and intensity. ]]
Christian: Kevin Nash and Shawn Michaels made their names by holding back people. Well, not anymore. This is SGW, the place where I was held back. I fought the administrations in the past, I fought tooth and nail to get to the point where I'm at today...And there's no chance two over the hill liabilities like Shawn Michaels and Kevin Nash are coming into MY company and taking over..I'll tear Nash's quad again so fast he won't know what hit him..Then Tomko will send HBK back into retirement where he should have stayed!
[[ Tomko nods. ]]
Christian: It's like this, Maria's on this mission to get the SGW title off me. But even she's too dumb to realize that I'm like a limp penis.
Tyson Tomko: ..Can't be beat.
Dr. Vaughn: I see.
Christian: She should have just made it five-on-two, because giving us three more partners does nothing but drive this team the rest of the way in the ground..And besides, adding three more people to this team only hurts my back. It means more that I have to carry. Not only am I carrying this company on my shoulders, I'm carrying my team, and the entire wrestling business on my shoulders all at the same time...But hey, if it's less I have to be in the ring, then so be it..It'll still be business as usual for the Captain come Shock.
Dr. Vaughn: Tell me about your partners.
[[ Christian rubs his chin in deep thought. ]]
Christian: They suck.
Dr. Vaughn: Tell me more.
Christian: They suck...big time?
[[ The doctor's frustrated. ]]
Dr. Vaughn: Just tell me who your partners are.
Christian: Lance Storm, sure he's undefeated, but that kind of thing happens when you're curtain jerking Shock and facing Michael Shane every damn week. He's a fellow Canadian, but a totally inferior wrestler...Then there's Ken Kennedy and the Big Show, the SGW Tag Team Champions. They're placeholder champions.
Dr. Vaughn: Placeholder?
Christian: Yep, they're holding those titles until I see it's the right time to challenge for them and take them. They think they're going to end up breaking me and Edge's record for longest reign or something...Shyeah, and we're going to lose this week. Silly rabbits.
[[ Christian is unimpressed with his team. ]]
Dr. Vaughn: What a group.
Christian: Yeah I know, and I have to carry every one of them to a win. Maria felt sorry for them and sided them with me and Tomko obviously. Because why else would they be welcomed to the main event? This is unchartered waters for everyone in the match but Tomko and I. They're entering my world, and on Shock, they'll get one hell of a welcoming party...And then I'll kick them out of my league and back to facing Michael Shane and losing to Muhammad Hassan where they BELONG!
Dr. Vaughn: They're problem is, is that they know what's going to happen, they're just trying to be optimistic. Being optimistic is good for the heart and your health. They're hiding feelings and emotions and trying to think positive.
Christian: Well, I'm never optimistic..I'm always walking into a match knowing the outcome. That doesn't make me optimistic, it makes me AWESOME! They can think positive all they want..They build themselves up and try to feel like something important..It just makes it that much more fun knocking their walls down and crushing their world to pieces!
Tyson Tomko: ..Yep.
Christian: This match is nothing but another easy win for me. We'll win this match and I'll go into Heartbreaker with twenty-nine straight wins, ready to defend my SGW title successfully against Tom Cruise.
Dr. Vaughn: Tom Cruise?
Christian: Yep, another easy week for me.
Dr. Vaughn: Tom Cruise wrestling...It'd be funny if he won the World title.
Christian: No it wouldn't.
Tyson Tomko: ..Nope.
[[ Christian and Tomko are very confident. The doctor checks his notes and speaks. ]]
Dr. Vaughn: I'm also seeing Bret Hart in your files. What's his role in this equation?
Christian: He's the SGW legend, first World champion. At Heartbreaker years ago, he screwed Taz out of the World title. He's since made a comeback when I was an upstart rookie, and I sent him back packing into retirement. Now he's back and he's special reffing my match next week. He even tries to screw me over, and I'll finish him off like that stroke should have.
Dr. Vaughn: I see.
Christian: Nobody at all is coming between me and my World title. I worked four years to get this, and I'm not about to lose it now..Especially to an actor in a main event of a pay-per-view...Needless to say, the winning streak is continuing without a hitch, no matter what Bret Hart, Maria, or my opponents this week think. SGW is MY company. The old saying it, "My house my rules"...SGW is my house..and in it...And well...anywhere else..
[[ Cocky smirk, you know what's coming next. ]]
Christian: I RULE!
Tyson Tomko: ..Word.
[[ Christian raises up from laying on the couch into a sitting position. He slaps his chest. ]]
Christian: Saturday night is going to be academic. No surprises, no flukes, nothing...When the match is over, Tomko and I will remain as sole survivors on our team. Then at Heartbreaker, I'll break the heart of ol' Tommy Cruise..I'm the SGW World Heavyweight Champion, I'm in the Hall of Fame..I'm not laying down and acting as a springboard to launch a few more careers...That was Taz's job..
[[ Pause. ]]
Christian: My job now is to show everyone that Captain Charisma isn't lying when he says he's the best in this business...For the past two months I've done it in SGW, and it's going to continue on into this week...Because that's...
HOW...I...ROLL!!
Tyson Tomko: ...Burn.
[[ Christian slaps his chest and Tomko snarls. The scene fades to black. ]]
[[ Static. ]]
[[ Fade out. ]]
Scott Smith || xxscottxsmithxx