Welcomed to Main Event:

- Triple H
- Stevie Richards
- Blue Meanie
- Vampiro
- Val Venis(2)
- Amy Love
- Rob Van Dam
- Chris Benoit(2)
- Dean Malenko
- Kevin Nash(2)
- Steve Austin
- Shawn Michaels(2)
- Ken Kennedy/ Big Show
- Chavo Guerrero Jr
- Maria
- The Undertaker
- Spirit Squad
- Senshi
- Randy Orton

' Explosive '

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]

[[ The scene opens up inside of Washington, D.C at a military base. We see a high ranking officer in the military pacing around in front of a large group of armed soliders. Behind the Major is a large object covered in a blue tarp. Jet fighter planes fly through the air for security, and a plane sits beside the tarp covered object. ]]

Major: Men, today, we reveal what's behind this cover. It's something the world thought they'd seen the last of when we used it in the 1940s.

[[ The Major paces around back and forth and then stops. ]]

Major: It has been said that we can only use this in desperate times, for desperate measures..And men, I consider this one of those times..One of those times that we can jump the gun on the evil country we're about to look in the eyes and battle..We can win the war with ONE VICIOUS PUNCH!

[[ The Major makes a fist and pumps it. ]]

Major: The effects are going to be brutal, people will die..The survivors will NEVER be the same again.

[[ The tarp is removed off the large object, revealing an ATOMIC BOMB. ]]

Major: Boys, this is the first atomic bomb that'll be used since World War II. You want to know the effects of this weapon?

[[ The Major cracks a smile. ]]

Major: Ask the damn Japs...Oh wait a second, wait a second.

[[ The Major slaps his head like he forgot. ]]

Major: You can't do that..

[[ Pause. ]]

Major: BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL DEAD!

[[ He laughs as the scene fades. ]]

[[ We open up inside of the rental car the Coalition members always drive. Tomko is driving and Cornette rides shotgun, and in the super-cozy backseat, we see Trish, Christian, Stacy, and Edge. ]]

James E. Cornette: Now, tell me again, what the hell are we doin' in Washington?

Edge: We're on a secret mission.

Trish Stratus: I don't like the way that sounds.

Christian: Relax Trish, it's got to do with our match on Saturday...And for the safety of America and the entire world.

Edge: Except Italy.

[[ Christian nods. ]]

Christian: Yeah, Edge and I called the U.S. Department of Safety earlier today, sent them an annonymous tip that there's some crazy terrorist activity going on in Italy where the FBI's little hut's at.

[[ Trish rolls her eyes. ]]

Trish Stratus: I've heard it all now.

James E. Cornette: So, the United States is fixin' to go fuck some shit up?

Edge: Yep.

James E. Cornette: Hell yeah!

Christian: It was the best idea ever really. Especially when we didn't use our names to send in the tip.

Edge: Yeah, Edge and Christian didn't send in the tip..Jay Copeland and Adam Reso did.

Tyson Tomko: ..Hmm.

Stacy Keibler: Those are your names..But in different orders.

Edge: Yep. It looks like Italy's fixing to be having some burnt pizza, courtesy of Edge and Christian.

[[ The scene fades. ]]

[[ We open up in Italy. We're at a little farming village. We see the same land lord from the FBI's first promo talking to Goldust, who for some reason, was included into the promo as well. ]]

Mr. Camfield: 'Ey, you focker.

Goldust: What?

Mr. Camfield: What de' fock are you doin' in Italy?

[[ Goldust bends down and then comes up a few seconds later holding a pizza box. ]]

Goldust: I want to eat pizza...With you.

Mr. Camfield: Fockin' a. Fine.

Goldust: I included..My own...Special sauce.

Mr. Camfield: Excellent, you mudda' focker you.

Goldust: Do you..Like the special sauce on your pizza?

[[ Mr. Camfield thinks it over. ]]

Mr. Camfield: I don't give a fock, pizza iz pizza!

[[ The two walk inside a small hut beside the FBI's hut to eat their pizza as the scene fades. ]]

[[ The scene switches back immediately to the military base in Washington, D.C. The rental car with the Coalition in it stops at the gate leading into the base thanks to a guard. ]]

Edge: Alright Corny, you're going to do this right?

James E. Cornette: Damn right! I ain't afraid of goin' to jail!

[[ The guard walks up to the window and Tomko rolls is down. ]]

Guard: State your business here and show some identification, please.

Christian: Jim, show this nice guy here some indentification.

James E. Cornette: Will do.

[[ Cornette digs into his pocket for a few seconds, he pulls out MASE! CORNETTE MASES THE GUARD! ]]

Edge: DRIVE TOMKO, DRIVE!

[[ Tomko squeals tires past the gate, CRASHING THROUGH THE GATE AND ONTO THE BASE! The car stops and everyone gets out totally unnoticed. ]]

Christian: Well, I for one got to admit..That was AWESOME!

Tyson Tomko: ..Definitely.

[[ Edge leads the charge to this fighter jet. The rest of the crew follow and look on in amazement. ]]

Edge: Here she is..The fighter jet that's going to drop the atomic bomb on Italy.

Christian: Almost to the effect of the bomb we're going to drop on the FBI's careers on Stroke.

Trish Stratus: So, what are you two going to do? Fly that plane and drop the bomb on the FBI's hut yourselves?

[[ Trish chuckles to herself. ]]

Edge: Well..Yeah.

Christian: Obviously.

Trish Stratus: .....

Stacy Keibler: Do you even know HOW to fly this thing?

Christian: It can't be THAT hard can it? One button takes you up, one button takes you down, one button drops the bomb...Right?

James E. Cornette: Makes sense.

[[ Trish nudges Cornette. ]]

Trish Stratus: Don't encourage them.

Edge: Look Trish, the FBI tried sending us three "valuable lessons" in their first promo before they went nuts and started screaming screwjob and all that and then quit or whatever they did..They said we were nervous, that we knew we'd lose to them after kicking their asses multiple times over the years..You think we're going to sit back and let them take all the buzz out of this match and place it on themselves?

Christian: Hell no.

Edge: Nope, and what better way to do than, than to do what no other wrestler has ever done..Declared war on a country and then ruined it with an atomic bomb?

Christian: It'll definitely put the focus back on us, the Tag champs. The ones with talent and a fully working brain.

Trish Stratus: Right.

[[ Out of no where, about ten soliders pop into the scene, surrounding our heroes. Edge and Christian look to each other. ]]

Christian: Hey, remember when we first started out how we'd get into situations like this and we'd always get out of them by hitting people with Con-Chair-Tos?

Edge: Yeah, even the midgets.

Christian: Well my brother, it's time to do a flashback.

[[ Edge nods..And, literally out of no fucking where, Edge and Christian come up with STEEL CHAIRS! CON-CHAIR-TO'S ALL AROUND TO EVERYONE! Cornette, Trish, Tomko, and Stacy look back in amazement as the tag champions regulate with steel chairs that they have no explanation to where they got them. ]]

James E. Cornette: Ya' know, I got to wonder..How do they always end up doin' this zany shit?

Stacy Keibler: I have no idea.

James E. Cornette: Comin' up with steel chairs out of God knows where, fixin' to bomb Italy, this shit I think is what makes them the goddamn best.

Tyson Tomko: ..Yep.

[[ Edge and Christian leave the beaten bodies of the soliders and walk back over to the group wearing helmets. ]]

Edge: Well, it's time for us to go save the world and to make an impact...A large impact.

Stacy Keibler: I love you, Edge.

[[ They kiss. ]]

Edge: I know.

Christian: So Trish, do I get some goodbye love?

[[ Christian goes in for the kill and gets rejected by Trish. ]]

Trish Stratus: No, because this is the most stupid thing you two have ever done.

Christian: Alright then. Edge, let's roll.

[[ Edge and Christian walk off away from the group back to the fighter jet as "Hearts on Fire" from Rocky IV plays in the background. They get in the plane and get situated..Christian and Edge salute their Coalition members and they fly off. The scene fades. ]]

[[ We're back in Italy. We're inside of the FBI's land lord, Mr. Camfield's hut. We see Goldust, Mr. Camfield, Little Guido's dad known as Big Guido, and Greg, the sex slave of Goldust's sitting around a table eating the pizza Goldust brought. ]]

Big Guido: When the moon hits your eyes like a big pizza pie...

Mr. Camfield: 'Ey, FOCK YOU! I'm tryin' ta' eat ova' 'ear!

Big Guido: 'Ey, FOCK YOU, YOU CUNT!

Goldust: THIS IS PIZZA NIGHT, DAMMIT! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

[[ Goldust slams his fists on the table. ]]

[[ All of a sudden we hear a loud noise, like a plane's overhead. ]]

Greg: You guys hear that?

[[ The scene fades. ]]

[[ We open inside of the jet being flown by EnC. By God, they made it to the hut inhabited by the FBI in the middle of Italy. They're hovering right above the huts where we last left. ]]

Christian: Are we ready to do this?

Edge: Damn right.

Christian: Me press the button or you?

Edge: We're going to end up killing thousands of people with this one press of a button..You know that right?

Christian: I'll only support it if I know Leo Albanese is going to be one of them.

Edge: Guaranteed, bro..Guaranteed.

[[ Christian looks at the button and holds his finger to it..The scene fades. ]]

[[ Fade back to the hut. ]]

[[ They're done eating and now, a knock is heard at the door. Goldust goes and gets it. At the door is a fourty year old, gray, man. Goldust looks at him oddly as he holds a boquet of flowers in his hand. ]]

Goldust: Can I help you?

Leo Albanese: It is with great pride and honor my friend, that I, the friendly devilistic man that is Leo, come out from his castle hut in the Italian hills to bestow the honor on ye human immortals to allow me to enter your presence at such a time of day.

Goldust: What?

Leo Albanese: Must I repeat, I am here to show your nervousity in this situation, for I will ease it and your cares. I mean no harm, as would I ever. But, shall you be struck with the fear from my eyes, may you go jump high on the moon to avoid my anger!

Goldust: ....

Leo Albanese: My dear friend, no, do not let the wise Leo and his ability to make up words fool you. I am not here to do that. I am simply here for the..how to put it..Gang bang.

[[ The old man who's past his prime and needs to get a life besides fucking horses on weekdays walks into the house as the scene fades. ]]

[[ Back in the fighter jet. Edge gives Christian the thumbs up. ]]

Edge: Alright Christian, give Italy and the Full-Blooded Bitches a wake-up call they'll never forget!

Christian: Like always in SGW..

[[ Christian presses the button. ]]

Christian: We..Win!

Edge: BOOM!

[[ The bomb is relased from the bottom of the fighter jet..It free-falls to the huts below..The last thing we see is.. ]]

[[ And the scene fades. ]]

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade out. ]]

Scott Smith || xxscottxsmithxx