... E D G E A N D C H R I S T I A N...

' Old Times '

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]

[[ I'm sorry Adkins, but it's time to break some records. ]]

[[ Scene opens in SGW Headquarters where they produce DVDs and other entertainment merchandise. Into view enters the man who shocked the world by showing he was better than everyone in this company by beating the golden child of wrestling, Triple H, in the debut edition of Shock. Christian is wearing a white collared shirt and khakis. Behind him is Trish Stratus, Tyson Tomko, and Jim Cornette. They're greated by a receptionist in the Media Department. ]]

Receptionist: Hello Christian, how are you?

Christian: I'd say I feel like a million bucks, but I wouldn't want to take the pay-cut.

[[ That smug arrogance comes back to Christian's face. ]]

Receptionist: Congratulations on your big win over Triple H last night. Very big win. Nice seeing an SGW veteran back at it again.

Christian: SGW veteran? More like SGW Legend. I took this company, put it on my back last night, and now I'm carrying it. Look, look on my shoulders, Dollface.

[[ She seems confused. ]]

Receptionist: Why?

Christian: Because you'll see SGW sitting on 'em.

[[ She looks, first the right shoulder, then looks at the left. She shrugs. ]]

Receptionist: I...I don't see anything.

Christian: Oh really?

[[ Trish steps up and pie-faces the woman down to the ground. Christian looks down at her. ]]

Christian: Then get some glasses.

[[ The group walks off down a long hallway with doors on both sides every three feet or so. Trish breaks the silence as she looks very well pleased. ]]

Trish Stratus: Last night was amazing.

[[ Christian looks proud of himself as he looks back at Trish. ]]

Christian: Well, I did bring my...C game...Get it?

Trish Stratus: I meant Shock last night.

[[ Shot down, Christian responds. ]]

Christian: Oh...Yeah, I totally kicked Triple H's ass. Some hot shot Hall of Famer he is. I was expecting a challenge. I'm just downright disguted.

James E. Cornette: The newsboards are goin' crazy! People are rantin' and ravin'! You're now sittin' on top as the overall favorite to wear that SGDubya title! It's like the Red Sox winnin' the World Series, you shocked the world Christian! Them goofy bastards thought Triple H was the man, but boy howdy did they and Triple H get one hell of a reality check!

Trish Stratus: Without question one of the most solid wins of your career. You proved you're the man to beat in Solid Gold. Just look at all the people jumping on the Christian Coalition bandwagon now.

Christian: Let 'em. The Captain cares about his peeps. The more the merrier. I love nothing more than proving people wrong. It's what I live for. This week on Shock, I'm making more noise, when it's the reunion of the greatest tag team in Solid Gold, and professional wrestling history. Me and Edge are fixing to win our record-setting FOURTH SGW Tag Team title. I mean, who are we facing?

Tyson Tomko: ...bWo.

[[ Christian looks puzzled. He knows nothing of a bWo. ]]

Christian: Who the hell's bWo?

James E. Cornette: Blue...

[[ Cornette is cut off by Christian. ]]

Christian: Doesn't matter who they are. Me and Edge will beat them. No problem.

Trish Stratus: Well I should hope so. The Blue World Order sucks.

Christian: Oh, snap! Those jobbers! That's not going to be a match!

Tyson Tomko: .....Nope.

Christian: That's going to be a damn murder! Call the cops, because on Shock, me and Edge are breaking records and killing careers! Sunday night on Shock is going to be like the old times...Total domination.

[[ Christian is the most confident he's ever been in his life, and with good reason. The Blue Meanie and Stevie Richards have as much of a chance of winning as Val Venis returning to SGW. ]]

Christian: I mean seriously, guys...The Meanie and Richards have as much of a chance of winning as Val does of returning to SGW.

[[ Told you. The group nods in unison. ]]

[[ Another assistant walks up to the ground carrying a clipboard. Christian looks at her as she speaks. ]]

Assistant: Ok, Christian, they're waiting on you for the interview. Last room on the left down the hall.

Christian: Edge here?

Assistant: Yes he is. He's acompanied by some blonde woman. Very beautiful.

Trish Stratus: ...Blonde?

[[ Trish is very interested as Cornette looks pumped up. ]]

James E. Cornette: Hell fire! Let's go then, I got to see who Edge's got with 'em! She's got to be smokin' to be with Edge!

Christian: If it's who I think it is, I'll die.

[[ A devilish smile comes across the face of Christian. They walk down the hall and enter the door. ]]

[[ We're inside the room now looking at the door. The door slowly opens and in comes Christian followed by Trish, Cornette, and Tomko coming in last. Christian looks around, seeing a vast array of production equipment and a green backdrop. We see Edge, who is sitting in one of the two provided chairs for the people being interviewed. ]]

Edge: Little bro!

[[ Edge jumps out of the chair and shakes hands with his brother and tag team partner in crime. The two look like old friends who haven't seen each other in a long time. Edge acknowledges each member of Christian's entourage. ]]

Edge: Corny, nice to see you're color coordination is still as good as usual...Tomko, nice beard, that point is coming in nicely...And Trish..Man Trish..

[[ She cuts him off right there. ]]

Trish Stratus: Who's the girl?

Edge: Pardon?

Trish Stratus: I heard you've got yourself a new chick. What happened, Lita get too loose?

Edge: Not really, it was just time for a change. This one here came knocking on my doorstep, so I had to let her in.

[[ Edge looks to the left side of the room and motions for whoever it is to come to where they are. A tall figure is coming this way..STACY KEIBLER! How in the world did Edge score Val Venis' ex-valet? ]]

Stacy Keibler: Hey guys.

[[ Edge shakes Christian's hand. ]]

James E. Cornette: Poor Venis. His whole world's gone to hell.

Edge: Screw 'em. Who needs Val Venis when you got the future SGW Tag Team Champions? I'll have a beautiful belt on my left arm and Val Venis' former valet on my right.

Trish Stratus: What happened to Bischoff?

[[ Edge shakes his head as Stacy clings to Edge, looking happier than she has in years. ]]

Edge: Who the hell cares? Stacy wanted something new, something legitimate...So she was the only one worth keeping around.

Stacy Keibler: Yeah. I mean, Val was a nice guy and everything, but could only ride in so many limos and planes without starting to re-evaluate the situation. Come to find out, that wasn't his limousine. He's been renting it for the past four years. FOUR YEARS! Can you imagine the bill?

Christian: Probably more than Val made.

[[ Stacy nods, Christian shakes his head. ]]

Christian: Poor guy couldn't even afford a personality.

Stacy Keibler: Or an original gimmick.

Edge: So Christian, are you ready to make history all over again?

Christian: Edge, have I ever turned down gold?

Edge: That's what I like to hear. I was pumped when you gave me the phone call last night during the show. I was enjoying not having to do anything since SGWx.

Stacy Keibler: Ahem..

Edge: I said not doing anything, not doing anyone. I got you taken care of. Now, you take Trish and them and go sit down. Me and Christian got some old memories to revisit.

[[ Stacy and Christian's group go off camera and sit down. The producer walks up and extends his hand to shake with Christian, who doesn't shake his in return. ]]

Christian: Nah, I'm good.

Producer: Alright, well...Edge, Christian, the wrestling world is pumped to have the chance to witness you two break history. Such news about tag team wrestling hasn't been this big since you two tied the Dudley Boyz' record at three reigns back in 2002. And that's not to mention Edge picking up an extra reign to make him the single most successful superstar in SGW's tag history.

Edge: Uh yeah, we know we're good. Now let us talk about it.

Producer: Ok, you two just sit in these seats and we'll get you microphones on your shirts.

[[ The brothers sit in side side-by-side. Edge on the right of our screens, Christian on the left. They look excited to talk about how awesome they are, and why shouldn't they? These two are tag team royalty in this company. Christian looks around to make sure the coast is clear, he then leans in close to Edge. ]]

Christian: So, straight up, how'd you bag Keibler?

Edge: I knew you were gonna' ask.

[[ Edge cheesily rubs his chin and we cut to a dream sequence. ]]

[[ We fade up to after Shock went off the air. We're at the local Holiday Inn. Edge is in the lobby at the front desk trying to get an extra pillow. Why Edge was in Nashville when he wasn't employed by SGW at this point is totally irrelevent. ]]

[[ Anyway, in the front door walks Stacy Keibler crying. Edge, being the ladies man that he is, knows when something's wrong. He forgets the need of pillows and walks over to Stacy and puts his arm around her. ]]

Edge: Everything ok, Stace?

Stacy Keibler: No, Edge, it's not. You see, tonight after the show, Val was pissed that he QUIT! He said he was tired of everyone picking on him.

Edge: What an idiot.

[[ Stacy wipes tears away and continues. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Yeah, Bischoff is gone. Val drove off in that monster truck he stole in League of Champions. I've got nothing left.

[[ Edge shakes his head, looks up to the ceiling, and as if he's speaking to God, he whispers. ]]

Edge: Thank you.

Stacy Keibler: What?

Edge: Oh, nothing.

[[ Edge gives Stacy a hug, that million dollar smile of his that would light up Vegas for a month is huge. ]]

Edge: C'mon Stacy, how about you and I go to my room, drink some coffee, and work this out.

Stacy Keibler: That sounds nice.

[[ The two begin walking towards the elevator, and Edge tries making small talk. ]]

Edge: How long they said your legs are?

Stacy Keibler: Forty-two inches.

[[ Stacy goes in the elevator first..Edge, knowing God has truly blessed him, goes in last. ]]

Edge: Going up...Then down.

[[ The elevator doors close as the dream sequence ends. ]]

[[ We open back and the look of Christian face shows no emotion except that of shock. ]]

Edge: So yeah, I had forty-two inches of legs wrapped around me, and she had eight inches of Rated R in her.

Christian: Words can't explain what I'm thinking....Well..maybe one word.

Edge: Which is?

Christian: ...Lucky.

[[ Edge smiles as Christian shakes his head in disbelief. ]]

Christian: You got Stacy, I got Trish. Together we're fixing to have more Tag gold...Damn Edge, do we rule...Or do we rule?

Edge: I think we do, Big C.

Christian: The bWo is going to bite the dirt big time.

[[ Edge nods. ]]

Edge: I feel sorry for them. Blue Meanie and Stevie Richards? More like I Suck and I Suck More if you ask me. What have they done to deserve to step in the ring to face us, with the titles we put back on the map on the line? Usually winning titles require winning matches, and Christian, I just don't think the bWo is capable of that.

Christian: Winning titles?

Edge: No, winning a match.

[[ The producer runs up to them. ]]

Producer: Ok guys, your mics are on and working, but don't say anything about the bWo yet. We've not started recording.

Christian: Chill out. We can talk all day long. Especially about second-rate opponents.

Edge: Second-rate?

Christian: I was trying to be nice.

[[ The producer adjusts the camera a little, and he gives them final instructions. ]]

Producer: Ok guys, we're fixing to start rolling. I'll ask you some questions and you guys just talk.

[[ He moves off-camera and asks the first question. ]]

Producer: Ok, Edge, Christian, this week you two have the chance to make SGW history when you two take on the Blue World Order. Tell us a little bit about how you two first started in SGW.

Christian: Well, we came in, totally beat down Test and Bret Hart in our debut. Two weeks later, me and Edge win the tag team titles over Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner. We beat every team Solid Gold had to offer in that time span.

Edge: Yeah, and for the next sixty-seven days, we made SGW history. Just like we're fixing to do again on Shock.

[[ Christian nods. ]]

Producer: After that first reign ended, there seemed to be some sort of vendetta against you two, as you never got a fair rematch for your titles. After a lot of controversial calls, SGW closed it's doors. When it returned, you two and Shane McMahon seemed to finally be on the same page. This lead to you two beating the Outsiders for your second reign.

Edge: Yeah, some jealousy among the people running the show started putting us into situations we couldn't overcome. But we just stuck through it and it worked out. We kept the belts this time for a week until Tajiri stole Christian's half of the title, making me and Kanyon co-Tag Champions.

Christian: Then we kicked Kanyon and Tajiri's ass at Total Destruction.

[[ Smiles come across the face of the Canadian duo. Remembering old times of success does that to people. ]]

Producer: That win made you two tied with the Dudleyz for the most reigns by any one team in the history of this company.

Christian: And this week, when you want to witness history, then you watch Edge and Christian. The return of excellence in the tag team division. We've traveled to every company and dominated. SGW, PWO, ACW, RW...You name it, Edge and Christian has left an impact on it in some shape, form, or fashion.

Edge: This week, the Blue World Order is going to get to be apart of SGW history.

Christian: Yeah, they get to be the team we beat to break a record that we tied almost five years ago.

Edge: Ask any team in this business, and they'll tell you when we say we're going to do something, we do it. Together, me and Christian have won fourteen tag team titles in various organizations. That just goes to show, when it comes down to the gold being on the line, you don't want to be the team standing on the opposite corner of the ring. Because when it's all said and done, you'll be the ones down on the mat, and we'll be holding the titles high!

[[ Christian smirks as Edge adjusts his black-tinted sunglasses. ]]

Christian: Like the old saying goes, failure to learn history means you're doomed to repeat it. bWo better be paying attention to this history lesson. Because they're going to end up like all the teams in the past, and Triple H last week. History doesn't lie, neither do we. bWo, you can go around and mock people, known as a bunch of comedy characters...On Shock, you'll be known as the two idiots who helped Edge and Christian break history!

Edge: Fact time, bWo...We haven't lost since December 23, 2001. That's over FOUR YEARS.

Christian: Fact time....On Shock, the streak's gonna' continue!

Producer: If you two are successful on Shock, how will it feel?

Christian: It'll feel no different. For years we've been proclaiming ourselves as the best team in this business, and I've been saying I'm the overall greatest wrestler on the face of the Earth. Every time it's came down to us having to defend our words, we do it. We back up everything we say, because we truly are the BEST.

Edge: And before you go any farther...There's no "IF" to it...It's "WHEN" we are successful.

Christian: Yeah!

Edge: Yeah!

[[ Any other time, Edge and Christian would be high-fiving and talking about sodas ruling the world...But these two have evolved over the years. They're new men, with new views on wrestling, except they still share one goal...Winning. ]]

Christian: Maybe the bWo will give us some sort of a challenge.

Edge: Yeah, and maybe Dave Batista will bench-press a mid sized Toyota.

Producer: So, you're giving the bWo no chance at all in this match? Surely they must be some sort of challenge for them to receive a title shot at a prestigious title.

[[ Edge and Christian start laughing obnoxiously. They laugh and laugh. ]]

[[ And they laugh. ]]

[[ And laugh some more. Christian pulls out a tissue and starts wiping his eyes. Edge tries regaining his breath and they look up at the producer. ]]

Christian: Yeah, a challenge.

Edge: Not even close. The bWo won't last five minutes in the ring with us if they even show up. If they're smart, they're watching this..And they're thinking to themselves, "Holy crap, they're the best team to ever step into Solid Gold! We don't have a chance!" But they're too stupid to realize when they don't have a chance.

Christian: That's why we're going to humiliate them on Shock.

Edge: That...And well...Because we can!

[[ Really unfair, really it is. ]]

Producer: Since you're so confident, when you win on Shock, making you four time SGW Tag team Champions..Which one of the four will be the sweetest?

Christian: This one will have to without question. I mean, when do you get to make history twice in one night?

Producer: Twice?

Edge: Making history by shattering the record, and making history of the Blue World Order!

[[ Christian slaps his chest as he speaks again to follow up Edge's statement. ]]

Christian: Shattering records and ruining careers..Just like the old days...Because that's just..

HOW...WE...ROLL!

[[ And, for old times sake, they slap hands very enthusiastically. ]]

Edge: There's your history lesson.

[[ Edge and Christian take their mics off and get up out of their seatss. The scene fades. ]]

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade out. ]]

|| Proof I'm Better Than You: Official E-Fed Hall of Famer(Class of 2002; Top Vote Getter); SGW Tag Team Champion(4; SGW Record); Undisputed SGW Tag Team Champion; Longest SGW Tag Title Reign in History(Sixty-Seven Days); SGW Gimmick Champion; SGW Pick Your Title Shot Winner 2001 and 2002; SGW Top Match(3); SGW Hall of Fame; SGWx Tournament Finalist; PWO Tag Team Champion(2); ACW World Champion(2; Never Lost); ACW Tag Team Champion(2; Never Lost); ACW Top Matches(5); ACW Hall of Fame; nEw World Champion(Never Lost); nEw Television Champ(2; Unrecognized); nEw #1 Draft Pick; nEw Hall of Fame; UCW World Champion; UCW Hall of Fame; sPw Co-World Champion; sPw Rumble Winner; DWR Hell on Earth Winner; AWE Intercontinental Title Tournament Winner; AWE Intercontinental Champion; AWE Top Match; RW Tag team Champion(2); PWR United States Champion; PWR Tag Team Champion(Never Lost); PWR Douvle Champion; PWR Top Match; CWF World Champion; CWF Hardcore Champion; CWF Hall of Fame; WWA Intercontinental Champion; WWA Hardcore Champion; CWO Intercontinental Champion; CWO Tag Team Champion(Last Ever); CWO Hardcore Champion; CWO Top Match; WWF:Zone Intercontinental Champion; NMW World Champion; LoC Owner; #1 Fed Owner For 7 Weeks; Forced PWR and APW to Close TWICE in 7 Weeks Because of Pure Awesomeness; LoC Gimmick Champion; PWR World Champion(Sid got to count his); SGW Gold of the Week; Countless RP'er and Quote of the Week; Tag Team of the Week, and Top 10 Rankings. ||