[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]

[[ The scene opens up inside of a cold, damp, dimly lit jail cell. We see two beds, one on top of the other, an open toliet and a sink. You can hear the guards trash talking inmates as they get put back into their rooms. We cut back into the cell and we see Jim Cornette sitting in the bottom bunk bed. He looks so depressed as he sits by his lonesome in the cell. He's twiddling his thumbs and singing a song softly. ]]

James E. Cornette: Here I go again on my own..Walkin' down the only road I've ever known..

[[ He continues softly singing "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake. ]]

James E. Cornette: Like a twsiter I was born to walk alone..And I've made up my mind..

[[ Cornette plays the air guitar before finishing the song off. ]]

James E. Cornette: I ain't wastin' no more time...So here I go again..Here I go..

[[ He's cut off as the cell door opens and a guard stands at the door. ]]

Guard: Alright Whitesnake, you got company.

James E. Cornette: I thought I got this damn room to myself?

Guard: I lied.

[[ Beside the guard, handcuffed walks a 6'7, three-hundred pound beast of a man. He's got a beard that puts a ZZ Top member to shame. Cornette looks like he just saw his death flash across his eyes. His face is pale white. ]]

James E. Cornette: Oh shit..

Guard: Meet Sebastian.

James E. Cornette: What a stupid name.

[[ Darn Cornette for thinking out loud. ]]

Sebastian: What was that, pencil neck?

[[ Cornette tries acting hard to the prisoner. ]]

James E. Cornette: I said it was a stupid name you piece of shit! I'm not afraid of you! Why are you even in here anyway?! You forget to pay your taxes you thick skulled prick?!

[[ The prisoner grits his teeth and clinches his fists. ]]

Sebastian: I killed a man...By choking him to DEATH! WITH MY BARE HANDS!!

[[ Cornette gulps. ]]

James E. Cornette: God dammit..

[[ Sebastian walks in and flops down right beside Cornette. Sebastian puts his arm around him and squeezes Jim tightly. You know he looks so uncomfortable as his new roomate smiles a sadistic smile. ]]

Sebastian: Don't worry buddy..

[[ The grip becomes tighter. ]]

Sebastian: We're gonna' have a BLAST!

James E. Cornette: ..Fuck me.

[[ Cornette shakes his head after catching what he said. ]]

Sebastian: That can be arranged.

James E. Cornette: That's what I'm afraid of.

[[ Cornette sighs as the scene fades. ]]

[[ Now we cut to where we see Trish, Tomko, and Christian sitting on a couch and Edge and Stacy cuddled together sharing a loveseat. They're just sitting around talking, not really doing much of anything. ]]

Trish Stratus: Just another day until we kick the Kliq out of SGW and focus our effortts onto getting rid of Maria.

Christian: I can't wait. Tomorrow night on Shock is going to be just another day for us. Walk in the ring, win a match and move on. It's getting pretty boring just going through the motions and dominating.

Edge: Yeah I know, but that's just the price you pay for being the best I suppose.

Christian: Yep. I was kind of hoping Shawn Michaels and Sid would give us some sort of a fight to make things interesting, but then again, I am talking about the Holy Bible Kid and the guy who broke his leg into a pretzel in WCW. So I guess that's nothing but wishful thinking on my part.

[[ Edge kicks back in the seat he's in, Stacy lays her head on his chest. ]]

Edge: Sid and HBK giving us a fight? Yeah right, bro. You and I are the two most dominant stars in Solid Gold today. We're the only undefeated people who've been here since day one. Since day one we've dominated the tag and singles division...And that's not going to change any time soon. Especially this week. We're going to be rolling into World Warrior with all the momentum we need to get rid of Maria.

Stacy Keibler: I'm going to become the new SGW owner when Maria's gone.

[[ Stacy looks so pumped, like it's something that could really happen. ]]

Edge: No.

Trrish Stratus: Yeah, I see you and Edge have sex enough as it is, the last thing I want to do is to see it start the show and end the show every week.

Christian: I'm sure Cornette and Tomko wouldn't mind, would you T-Squared?

Tyson Tomko: ..Nope.

[[ Of course Tomko would be down for it. ]]

Trish Stratus: You never really appreciate the quietness until you got it. I'm kind of glad Cornette's in jail.

Christian: I know. If he were here all he'd be ranting and raving about is how Sid can go die, HBK is a gay guy, and how spring break was the best day of his life.

Stacy Keibler: It was something else, that's for sure.

[[ Stacy's comments draw nods all around from everyone. ]]

Christian: Only for a big title defense would we bring in a celebrity cameo in a promo on a non-pay-per-view week. I know Hasslehoff got his money's worth.

Edge: Any celebrities going to be in this one?

[[ Christian shakes his head no. ]]

Christian: Nope, we've spent all of Venis' paycheck for this month.

Trish Stratus: Venis' paycheck?

Stacy Keibler Yeah. Val would always give me his paycheck to pay me to stay with him. Silly goose never changed the address his check was sent to, so I've been getting them for the past few months.

Edge: Duh Trish.

[[ Trish is shocked. ]]

Christian: Yeah, but now we've spent it all. That's why Cornette's still in jail. No need in us using OUR money to get him out. So I guess he's going to have to stay there for a little bit, and we're going to have to beat Sid and HBK and retain our titles without any major celebrity cameos this week.

Edge: No big deal.

Christian: Nope.

Trish Stratus: It's just weird not hearing Cornette rant. I'm used to having my ears full of profanities by now.

Edge: I wonder how jail's treating Cornette?

[[ This draws smiles from everyone in the room minus Tomko, who just doesn't smile for anything. ]]

Christian: I'm sure he's getting along with his roomate just fine.

[[ With that being sad we cut back to Cornette and his new roomate. ]]

[[ Back in the jail cell Sebastian is staring Cornette down, who is standing by and holding onto the bars of the cell. ]]

James E. Cornette: If I just didn't want to see some tits I'd not be in this situation.

[[ Cornette slams his head repeatedly against the bars. ]]

James E. Cornette: God dammit, why am I such an idiot! I should be at the house right now talkin' shit on Sid and HBK with the gang! Now look at me!

[[ Cornette looks back at the roomate of his and shakes his head. ]]

James E. Cornette: Now I gotta' keep my ass pinched together or I'll be findin' somethin' goin' in it that I don't want!

[[ Cornette leans his head against the bars. ]]

James E. Cornette: I got to get out of this place. I got a wrestlin' event to get to!

Sebastian: Wrestling?

James E. Cornette: Damn right. I manage the two greatest SGDubya wrestlers ever, Edge and Christian!

[[ Sebastian shakes his head. ]]

Sebastian: Solid Gold? Fuck that, man. APW is the better product.

James E. Cornette: Are you god damn stupid?

Sebastian: They have better wrestlers and the best results.

[[ Cornette gives him a blank stare. ]]

James E. Cornette: You're goofy! You don't have a damn clue what you're talkin' about! APDubya? APDubya?! If you like a company who copies everything Solid Gold does to a T, then hell I guess it is a good company! Everything they've done, we've done first!

Sebastian: I do like the Val Venis guy in SGW.

James E. Cornette: ....

[[ Sebastian nods his head and continues. ]]

Sebastian: Yeah man, "Headstrong" is a kick ass song!

[[ Cornette lays his head back against the bars and speaks to himself. ]]

James E. Cornette: Get me outta' here.

[[ And with that the scene fades. ]]

[[ We open back up with the other Coalition members. They're still having their roundtable discussion. ]]

Christian: I'm really getting irritated at the lack of competition and how we're being penalized for our greatness. I mean, look at us, Edge..My World title reign was forced to end because there wasn't anyone else on the roster who could beat me. And now we're stuck fighting a bunch of jobber tag teams and stuck in midcard pay-per-view matches.

Edge: Yeah I know. It's insane that we're beinng stuck in the midcard while Val Venis and Randy Orton hit the main events. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against boosting our win-loss record and padding our stats, but there comes a point in time where this become ridiculous!

Trish Stratus: Don't worry about it. After you two get done taking out Sid and HBK this week on Shock, next week you do the ultimate good deed for this company by eliminating Maria. I'm sure when she's gone things will be back to normal.

Edge: I hope. Because this era of Maria has done nothing good for us.

Christian: That and I'm tired of facing people who don't give us any problem like Sid and HBK. There comes a time when just get tired of going through the motions.

[[ Edge nods, agreeing with his brother. He holds up his SGW tag title. ]]

Edge: I was kind of hoping they'd give us a fight this week..Then I realized that like Val Venis retaining a title in a defense, beating us just won't ever happen.

Christian: I know, man..But how crappy has Venis been since "winning" the title?

Trish Stratus: Easily the worst SGW champion in history.

Edge: Without question. He's taken the SGW title, six years of history, and took a monster dump on it. Thank God the pay-per-view is next week so someone else can try to do something with the title.

Stacy Keibler: I'm also glad the fans are seeing what I saw a few months ago, that Val is a total loser.

Christian: Ah Stace, we knew that about three years ago.

[[ Stacy shrugs. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Stop complaining, Christian..We're spending Val's check every month. I could just keep it for myself.

[[ The scene fades. ]]

[[ Cutting back to the jail cell, we see Cornette standing at the toliet taking a leak. His roomate is staring a hole straight through him. The toliet has nothing around it to shield the world from seeing what you're working with. ]]

James E. Cornette: Hey asshole, you fuckin' mind?

[[ This doesn't draw Sebastian away from Cornette or his junk. ]]

Sebastian: Of course not, I don't mind lookin' at all.

James E. Cornette: Jesus Christ.

[[ Cornette moves to where his back is facing his roomate. Sebastian licks his lips as Cornette finishes. ]]

Sebastian: Nice ass.

[[ Cornette cuts it off and zips his pants. He goes back to his standing spot, right against the bars of the cell, as far away from his roommate as he can get. ]]

James E. Cornette: I gotta' get out of here. Where's fuckin' Christian need I need 'em?

[[ And with that we cut. ]]

[[ Christian is now seen holding a large top hat. He's digging around inside of it as he stands in front of Edge, Stacy, Trish, and Tomko. ]]

Christian: Alright guys, we've all voted to determine whether or not we bail Cornette out of jail. The vote is final.

Trish Stratus: Right.

[[ Christian pulls out the first vote and shows it to everyone. ]]

Christian: "No."

[[ Christian lays it down. ]]

Christian: Tomko, that has to be yours.

[[ Tomko gives a small shrug. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ..Maybe.

[[ He digs in and pulls another out. ]]

Christian: "I wouldn't pour gasoline on him if he were on fire..Wait, yes I would."

[[ Christian looks startled by that vote. ]]

Christian: Trish, a simple "yes" or "no" would be sufficient.

Trish Stratus: Whatever.

[[ He pulls out another and reads it. ]]

Christian: "Yes." That was mine, see guys, "yes" or "no" is enough.

[[ He reaches for another and shows it off. ]]

Christian: "Is that the guy who watches me have sex?"

Stacy Keibler: Well is it?

[[ Christian throws that one down and reaches in and pulls out Edge's. ]]

Edge: Last one..Doesn't matter what I voted.

Christian: "Yes."

Edge: You didn't read it all.

[[ Christian sighs and finishes it. ]]

Christian: Fine.."Yes Stacy, he's the one who watches us had crazy, twisted, hardcore, torrid sex."

Stacy Keibler: I thought so!

[[ Edge and Stacy kiss. ]]

Christian: Well, I take it Jim's just going to rot in jail.

Edge: We do have a match to worry about. We have Tag titles to defend.

Stacy Keibler: Think of the Tag titles, Christian! Wouldn somebody please think of the Tag titles?!

Christian: Stacy don't even worry about it..Those tag titles will be easily defended on Shock tomorrow night. Sid and HBK are stepping up against the greatest and most dominant tag team in Solid Gold history. It's the week before World Warrior, like we're going to lose anyway and get our momentum sucked out of us...Losing is for losers..That's why it's called losing.

Edge: It's a proven fact.

Christian: It's one of those givens in the world.

Edge: Like, Val Venis always being inferior to us..APW sucking...The sky being blue..

Christian: Cats saying "meow."

Edge: And Sid and HBK having no chance in hell of leaving France as SGW Tag Team Champions.

[[ Christian slaps his chest. ]]

Christian: Because that's..

HOW..WE..ROLL!

[[ Edge nods. ]]

Edge: Us winning and keeping our belts, and then moving on to prepare to get rid of Maria...

BANK ON IT!

[[ Fade. ]]

[[ Back in the jail cell, Cornette's laying down on his bottom bunk asleep. Sebastian looks down on him from the top. He sees that he's asleep and slides down to the ground. ]]

Sebastian: Hey Jimmy..Wanna' cuddle?

James E. Cornette: What?

Sebastian: I always need to cuddle with something to sleep.

James E. Cornette: Grab your dick and go to sleep you fuck!

[[ Sebastian lays down beside Cornette. ]]

James E. Cornette: GET THE FUCK OFF ME!

Sebastian: Much better!

[[ Cornette shakes his head. He has no where to go. ]]

Sebastian: Hmm...A hole in your pants..Better fix that.

[[ Immediately we cut to Cornette's face, which lights up like a Christmas tree. His eyes go wide, his mouth is wide open and he yells. ]]

James E. Cornette: OH MY DEAR FUCKIN' LORD ALMIGHTY!

[[ The scene fades as God knows what happened to Jim Cornette. ]]

[[ Static. ]]