The Rated R
Superstar Highly
Overrated: |
[[ Static. ]] [[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]] [[ The scene opens up at some tropical resort. We're in the lobby of the resort and it's huge, a very elegant setting. We pan around and see the entrance doors swing wide open. Leading the way in is Edge, Rated R t-shirt, khaki shorts, flip-flops, sunglasses, and the ACW title on his shoulder. Behind him is Tomko wearing a bucket hat, tank top and black pants, and Trish Stratus wearing a pink bikini top, short-short white shorts, oversized white sunglasses, and flip-flops. ]] Edge: See Trish, this is how you go to the islands. Trish Stratus: Good call. Edge: Who needs to cut a promo on a couple of no-talent opponents in the middle of the stinkin' savage Samoan islands when you can go to the tropical islands and do the same thing in paradise? Tyson Tomko: ..Idiots. Edge: Exactly. [[ Edge walks up to the receptionist's desk and starts slamming his hand on the bell. ]] Receptionist: Yes sir, can I help you? Edge: I'm the Rated R Superstar, here to check in for the trip of a lifetime. Receptionist: Alright. What name is it under? Edge: Um, it should be under, "Val Venis." Trish Stratus: What? [[ Trish looks confused at Edge. He runs his hand across his throat, telling her to be quiet. ]] Edge: In a minute. [[ The receptionist does some typing on the computer and hands Edge three room keys. ]] Receptionist: Here's your keys to your room. You'll be in room number 451. Edge: Great. Receptionist: Enjoy your stay, Mr. and Mrs. Venis. Trish Stratus: Whoa, whoa, whoa! First off, I am no Venis! [[ She continues, waving her finger in the air. ]] Trish Stratus: I will NEVER be a Venis! [[ She finishes. ]] Trish Stratus: And if I ever do, may God strike me down with lightning! Receptionist: I am terribly sorry, ma'am. Edge: Excuse her, she's got a bad case of jet lag. Receptionist: Understandable. Enjoy your trip, Mr. Venis. [[ He laughs. ]] Edge: Oh, I will. [[ The three walk away from the desk as Edge kisses the credit card. ]] Edge: Val Venis' credit card, never leave home without it. [[ Fade. ]] [[ The island music plays as the bright sun shines in our eyes. You immediately feel like you're in the middle of a big party atmosphere. We see Edge, Tomko, and Trish sitting at a tiki hut bar, drinking mixed drinks with little umbrellas in them. Tomko is drinking one with a straw, Trish is sipping on one, and Edge is downing each one of them with one big gulp. He's wiped out about six of them so far. ]] Edge: THIS IS WHAT THE ISLANDS ARE ALL ABOUT! Tyson Tomko: ..Yep. Edge: AND TO THINK, WE COULD BE IN THE GOD DAMN SWAMP ISLANDS! DANCING WITH FAT SAMOANS! YOU'RE A FOOL, TRISH! [[ Obnoxious drunks, got to love them. ]] Trish Stratus: Edge, quiet down babe. [[ Edge downs another drink. ]] Edge: I'M THE DAMN CHAMPION! Trish Stratus: I know you are, but you got to quiet down. You're bothering everyone else. Edge: SCREW 'EM! I DON'T CARE! I'M THE RATED R SUPERSTAR! [[ More people around the little bar area look at Edge, who is making a big scene of himself. Edge looks around pissed, he stands up and starts pointing. ]] Edge: SCREW YOU! AND YOU! YOU! AND YOU! I'M THE MAN! I'M HAVING SEX WITH HER! WITHOUT CONDOMS! NEXT SGW WORLD CHAMPION! Trish Stratus: Edge, sit down. [[ Tomko and Trish finally got him seated. Trish stands up and looks at Edge. ]] Trish Stratus: I've had about all of this I can handle. I'm going to lay by the pool. [[ You can tell this doesn't sit well with Tomko. ]] Trish Stratus: Tomko, you stay here and watch Edge. Tyson Tomko: ..No. Edge: I'M FINE! I DON'T NEED ANYBODY BUT ME! [[ The bartender comes into the picture, and Edge gives him a high-five. ]] Edge: JUST ME AND THE BARTENDER! I'LL TALK TO DAVE! [[ The bartender is confused. ]] Bartender: Um, my name's Charles. Edge: Oh. Trish Stratus: Whatever, I'm leaving. Tyson Tomko: ..Me too. [[ They get up and go their separate ways. Who knows where Tomko's going. Edge downs another drink, wipes off his mouth, and leans in to the bartender. ]] Edge: Fill me up. I'm the champion, I'm in the islands, I got to get drunk. Bartender: I believe you are, sir. Edge: NO! THE ISLAND BOYS ARE! [[ Edge's tone changes like daylight and dark. That's how drunks are I suppose. ]] Edge: Because they're so damn drunk if they think you have what it takes to beat me and Tomko! That's crazy isn't it!? Bartender: Sure. Edge: Ya' know, Jim..You're a great guy! Bartender: Thanks. [[ Edge downs another drink as the scene fades. ]] [[ We cut to poolside as we see Trish in her pink bikini and sunglasses relaxing by the pool in a chair. The beams down on her tan body, she glistens, not sweats, but glistens. She seems totally relaxed. ]] Trish Stratus: This is much better than going to Samoa I guess. [[ She takes a deep breath, soaking in the surrounding area. ]] Trish Stratus: Stupid Island Boys, they don't have a chance. Maybe against some other combination of a tag team, but not Tomko and Edge. Tomko's undefeated with two wins, and Edge is the next SGW World Heavyweight Champion. There's no way ever the Island Boys can pull the ultimate upset. [[ No explanation to why she's talking to herself. ]] Trish Stratus: That's like Lance Storm thinking he's going to retain his title next week. Pff. [[ Pause. ]] Trish Stratus: Whatever. [[ Fade. ]] [[ And now we're back with Edge and the bartender. Edge has a large amount of empty glasses all around him at the bar. He's lit beyond imagine. ]] Edge: ON THIS DAY, I SEE CLEARLY! [[ He sings..His own theme song. ]] Edge: EVERYTHING HAS COME TO LIFE! Bartender: Refill? Edge: Damn right, I'm the champ! [[ The man nods his head and brings him another drink. Edge looks at the man like he's troubled inside. ]] Edge: Raul, I got to tell you something. Bartender: What? Edge: Come closer. I don't want to spoil everything for everyone else. [[ The bartender comes closer, Edge is going to whisper something in his ear, but of course, his tone doesn't change. Well, it does, it's casual talk, not the usual yelling. ]] Edge: Me and Tomko have a match tomorrow in God knows where. We face these fat jobbers. We're not going to lose. And you want to know why? [[ He gives him no time to respond. ]] Edge: I'm favored. I'm the golden child of Solid Gold. I have special benefits, like never losing and winning World titles. I'm not going to lie.. [[ Edge downs his last drink. ]] Edge: But man, I know the guy who owns the place. Hell of a guy, but he favors me. So, even if the Island Boys were worth a damn, they'd not beat me.. Or Tomko. Maybe Tomko, but not me. I'M FAVORED! I'M NEVER LOSING! BECAUSE I'M THE MAN! I AM THE RATED R SUPERSTAR! [[ Fade. ]] [[ We see Tomko walking on the beach, hand-in-hand with a random woman. She's very attractive, and you wonder where Tomko found her. Then you remember, Tomko's the greatest man to have ever lived, a taller, skinnier Buddha he is. ]] Woman: Tyson, I've really had fun so far with you. Tyson Tomko: ..Cool. Woman: You're a man unlike any I've ever met. [[ Tomko says nothing, they just walk. ]] Woman: You make me feel special. You treat me right. You say all the right things. Tyson Tomko: ..Yep. [[ She draws herself closer to him. She's madly in love, but Tomko's playing it cool. ]] Woman: Tyson..Isn't the beach beautiful? [[ He nods. ]] Woman: Do you wanna' make love? [[ He thinks it over a few seconds. ]] Tyson Tomko: ..Alright. [[ The woman goes in to kiss Tomko, but we see no action as the scene quickly fades. ]] [[ Poolside. Trish is still relaxing, Edge pops into the scene, stumbling when walking, and barely able to stand up when he's not walking. ]] Edge: TRISH! TRISH! Trish Stratus: Hey babe, have fun drinking? Edge: Except the fact Marcus doesn't think Tomko and I can beat the Island Boys. So to change his mind, I punched him right in the ear! Trish Stratus: The ear? Edge: RIGHT IN THE EAR! HE CAN'T HEAR A THING! Trish Stratus: Anyone say anything to you about it?
Edge:
Yeah.."OH MY GOD! EDGE GAVE US A SNEAK PREVIEW OF STROKE!" Edge: It was a rush. Trish Stratus: I can imagine. Edge: Trish.. You know we're going to win right? Trish Stratus: Of course I do. [[ He smiles, rubbing Trish's hair, making a mess out of it. ]] Edge: Good. Because we are. And I'm going to make the pin. Because that's what is going to happen next week a Wrestle..Eh, whatever the show is where I'm going to win the World title. Trish Stratus: Wrestlebrawl 2. [[ He shrugs. ]] Edge: Whatever. Let's go have sex.. Unprotected sex. [[ He grabs his crotch, licking his lips at Trish's way. ]] Edge: It'll be a hoot. Trish Stratus: Alright, let's go. [[ Trish leads Edge off towards the hotel room as the scene fades. ]] [[ Back with Tomko and his mystery woman.. They're laying on a blanket, the woman cuddled in Tomko's arms. They watch the waves crash against the shore. ]] Woman: That was fantastic. Tyson Tomko: ..Cool. Woman: I always knew my first would be to a real man.. A real man who loves me. [[ Tomko's eyes go wide, he really doesn't know what to say. ]] Woman: And now we can be together in LOVE FOREVER! Tyson Tomko: ..Love? Woman: I KNEW YOU LOVED ME TOO! [[ She buries her head in his chest. Tomko bites his lip, looking disappointed after getting more than he bargained for out of this whole ordeal. ]] Tyson Tomko: ...Help me. [[ His cry for help falls on deaf ears. ]] Woman: We got to tell your friends of our love! Tyson Tomko: ..No. Woman: I wonder what they're doing anyway. Tyson Tomko: ..It. [[ Tomko strokes his goatee and we fade. ]] [[ And immediately fade to the hotel room. Edge and Trish are having wild sex on the bed. Edge is wearing nothing but a lampshade on his head. His ass is covered up by the Rated R Superstar logo. He's hitting that shit from behind. ]] Edge: THIS IS THE ISLAND BOYS! THEY'RE SCREWED! IN THE ASS! [[ Edge continues hitting it. He then pulls it out and laughs. ]] Edge: Trish, me and Tomko's going to wear them out on Stroke.. Like I'm going to wear out your pussy right now! Trish Stratus: I know! [[ Edge rubs his cock and prepares to stick it back in. He plugs it in and Trish yelps. ]] Edge: BEATING IT UP! BEATING IT UP! I'M THE DAMN MAN! ACW WORLD CHAMPION! Trish Stratus: EDGE STOP! Edge: THAT'S WHAT THE ISLAND BOYS WILL DO! BEG FOR MERCY! Trish Stratus: JESUS, EDGE, STOP! Edge: BEATING IT UP! Trish Stratus: YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN MY PUSSY, EDGE! [[ Edge stops, and sure enough, that drunk bastard's got it in Trish's ass. ]] Edge: HAHAHA! I MISSED THE PINK AND GOT IT IN THE STINK! [[ He just doesn't move or anything, he just examines what he's done. ]] Edge: Oh well.. [[ He goes right back to business. ]] Edge: Who cares? You can do this stuff when you're going to be the man who welcomes the Island Boys into SGW and then kicks their asses right out the god damn door the same week! I am the ACW World Champion! Five times the SGW Tag Team Champion! I am the..
[[ Fade. ]] [[ We fade back to Tomko and the woman. ]] Woman: So you're going to win your match this week? Tyson Tomko: ..Yep. Woman: Do you love me, Tyson? Tyson Tomko: ..No. [[ Tomko stands up and walks away as the woman is in tears. We see a shot of Tomko walking, he seems smaller and smaller as he walks. "Take My Breath Away" plays softly in the background as he does so. The scene fades. ]] [[ Static. ]] [[ Fade out. ]]
Scott Smith || xxscottxsmithxx |
