The Rated R
Superstar Highly
Overrated: |
[[ Static. ]] [[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]] [[ Sunday morning. The daylight shines through the curtains covering a window. ]] [[ Fade upup inside the home of Edge. He's asleep in his bed, a luxury most wrestlers don't get to enjoy too often. Edge is between the sheets, alone, totally zonked out in a deep slumber. Trish Stratus enters the picture wearing a super short, barely there, night gown. She walks over to the bed and rubs Edge's back softly. ]] Trish Stratus: Edge, babe..Time to wake up. [[ No response from Edge. ]] Trish Stratus: Edge..Wake up. [[ He finally comes to, but he's not fully awake. ]] Edge: Hmm? Trish Stratus: Wake up, you got to get ready to do a promo on Shawn Michaels, and then film another hype video for Wrestlebrawl 2 later. [[ Edge remains facedown on the bed, he mumbles. ]] Edge: Screw Shawn Michaels. Trish Stratus: Well, I know you're going to beat him on Stroke, heck, everybody knows that..But you got to talk crap about him and stuff, ya' know? Edge: I'm the damn champion. Trish Stratus: Yes, yes you are. Edge: I have wild, twisted, torrid sex with you. Trish Stratus: No argument here. [[ Edge pops his head up and looks at Trish. ]] Edge: If being the damn champion and having intercourse with Trish Stratus isn't enough of a reason to prove that I'm going to ruin Shawn Michaels' life, make him look like the second-rate jobber he is, and prove that the wins he has on his record is as big of a fluke as Johnny Nitro winning a match... [[ He lets out a yawn. ]] Edge: Then I give up. Because really Trish, you can't top being the damn champion. Trish Stratus: I don't know if it's possible. [[ Edge rolls over on his back, Trish know rests on the bed. Edge rubs his face. ]] Edge: Seriously, people don't think HBK's beating me do they? Trish Stratus: Rob Conway does. [[ Edge shakes his head. ]] Edge: Idiot. [[ Edge rolls over on his side, getting comfortable again. ]] Edge: What time is it? Trish Stratus: About ten-thirty I guess. Edge: Alright. I'm over this whole HBK thing. I'm going to add HBK to my hit list like I've ran down everybody else, no big deal there. He knows it himself he's losing. So really, there's no need for me to wake up early and ruin his week right off the bat. It's too early. [[ Edge pushes the covers down to his waist. ]] Edge: So yeah..Sucks to be HBK, I'm the champ, blah, blah blah..Anyway.. [[ Edge motions for Trish to come closer to him. Edge then points down to his crotch. ]] Edge: This is a big cock, Trish...And well. [[ He smiles. ]] Edge: It's swam in your vaginal fluids so much, it's drowning Trish..It needs CPR. [[ Trish smiles, coming closer. ]] Edge: Better yet..Just suck this dick while I go back to sleep. [[ Trish disappears under the covers, doing her thing. Edge smiles. ]] Edge: Choke on it, Nitro. I'm the man who originated sex in promos, not you. ME! I'M THE DAMN CHAMPION, YOU JOBBER! [[ Fade. ]] [[ Later that day. ]] [[ Edge and Trish are cuddled up together watching television. Edge is totally carefree, unworried about Shawn Michaels, or anything for that matter. ]] Trish Stratus: So you're really not worried about Shawn Michaels at all? Edge: Pff. Hell no, Trish. It's Shawn Michaels. Who cares if he's the Showstopper, the Icon, the Jobber? I don't care. On Stroke, his show's getting stopped once and for all. I have better things to do with my time than worry about facing some washed-up idiot who'll never see the main event in Solid Gold. [[ Edge seems irritated Shawn was brought into this. ]] Edge: He's been asking people about me, getting some information. He wanted to know about my winning streak and how many matches it is. Trish Stratus: Why? So he can find out which number he'll be? [[ Edge shrugs. ]] Edge: Probably. Number forty-five is what HBK wil be. Seriously, I thought leading up to a pay-per-view main event, I was supposed to be challenged? I didn't know Jeff Jarrett was throwing no-shows and random members of the JOB Squad at me on a weekly basis. But whatever..It's Shawn Michaels, if this was 1997, it'd be a big deal. [[ He seems let down. ]] Edge: But now it's 2006, HBK sucks and I rule! I'M THE MAN NOW! ME! THE NEXT SGW WORLD CHAMPION! Shawn Michaels is old news. I've got bigger and better people to beat to get myself ready for Wrestlebrawl 2 than Shawn Michaels. Seriously, this guy thinks he's going to beat me? C'mon, this is SGW, jobbers have chances of winning in XWF or wDw. [[ Trish shakes her head as Tomko comes into the scene. ]] Trish Stratus: But..That's all..Those promotions are full of. Edge: I know. [[ Edge changes the channel. ]] Edge: Well, the current wDw Intercontinental champion isn't THAT bad. But overall, yeah, they fail in comparison to the Rated R Superstar! Name one thing HBK has to be proud of in Solid Gold. Trish Stratus: He beat Randy Orton. [[ Edge rolls his eyes. ]] Tyson Tomko: ...Lame. Edge: Very lame. Screw HBK! Screw him and his Jesus Freak ways! I know he curses and does stupid things in his promos..But I bet immediately afterwards he prays and asks God for forgiveness! Jesus loving prick! HE NEEDS TO GIVE HIS SOUL TO JESUS BECAUSE HIS ASS BELONGS TO ME! [[ Nods all around. ]] Edge: Oh wow, he beat Randy Orton, a former World champion. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT! I KILLED RANDY ORTON! I've pinned tons of former World Champions to the mat! I've eliminated them out of SGW out of humiliation for good! Ask Val Venis, Christian, all of them! I've ruined them all I'll do the same to Shawn Michaels! [[ There's a knock at the door. Edge stops his rant and looks. ]] Edge: WHO IS THAT?! I HOPE IT'S HBK! I'LL KICK HIS ASS RIGHT NOW! [[ Edge springs up and Tomko walks to the door. He opens the door, revealing Chyna, in tears. ]] Edge: WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU BITCH? Chyna: Shawn dumped me in his promo for Eric Young. Trish Stratus: Is he gay? Edge: Well, Chyna here's easily mistaken for a man anyway..So maybe Shawn considers it an upgrade. [[ Chyna wipes away a tear and tries speaking. ]] Chyna: Edge..You're a better man than Shawn. Edge: Damn right! Chyna: You're going to beat him on Stroke. Edge: Because I'm the damn champion! Chyna: And..I know when your opponents dump their girlfriends..You usually meet up with them. Tyson Tomko: ..Uh-oh. [[ She tries spitting it out. ]] Chyna: And you..Make love to them. So, I was wondering if you wanted to.. [[ Slam. ]] [[ The door slams in Chyna's face. Trish looks furious, shaking her head. ]] Trish Stratus: That bitch. What was she thinking? Having sex with her consists of her putting a dick in YOU! [[ Tomko snarls and looks disgusted. ]] Edge: I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Trish Stratus: "Edge, make love to me." Stupid cunt. Edge: Yeah..I don't make love. I have sex. Painful, torrid, twisted, wild SEX! There's a big damn difference! Tyson Tomko: ..Yep. [[ Edge walks back to the couch and sits down. ]] Edge: So yeah..We pretend that didn't happen, agreed? It's not my fault everyone's women want a piece of the Rated R Superstar! The next SGW Champion! The ACW Champion! ME! THEY WANT ME, BUT CAN'T HAVE ME! LIKE THEIR BOYFRIENDS WANT TO BEAT ME, BUT THEY CAN'T EITHER! BECAUSE I RULE! I'M THE MAN! I HAVE SEX WITH TRISH STRATUS! Trish Stratus: Three times a day, baby! [[ They kiss wildly for a few seconds, but it seems like an eternity. ]] Edge: So seriously, me talking crap on Shawn Michaels is unnecessary..Like using condoms..And trying to beat me. IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING! Because I am the Rated R Superstar, number one contender to the SGW World title..I do WHAT I want, WHEN I want to do it! [[ Edge grabs the ACW World title that was laying on the table in front of the couch. ]] Edge: Shawn Michaels will be the lucky forty-fifth person to lose to me on SGW's six-month anniversary show! This week is just like any other week to me..Except it's just a little bit closer to July 30, a little closer to achieving my destiny! I will treat HBK as nothing more than a job boy bitch! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE IS! Trish Stratus: Yep. Edge: I think Shawn's mistaken on his nicknames..To be the Main Event, you must actually MAIN EVENT..Or hell, WIN MATCHES CONSISTENTLY LIKE ME! While he's feuding with another jobber in a damn curtain jerking match at Wrestlebrawl 2, I'll be headling the show..WINNING THE WORLD TITLE! I'M THE MAIN EVENT! I'M THE HEADLINER! I AM THE..
Tyson Tomko: ..Boom. [[ Edge and Trish make out again. They finally stop as Edge tugs on Trish's lip. They casually return back to watching television. ]] Edge: Shawn Michaels.. [[ He rolls his eyes. ]] Edge: Whatever. [[ The scene fades to black. ]] [[ Static. ]] [[ Fade out. ]]
Scott Smith || xxscottxsmithxx |
