The Rated R
Superstar Highly
Overrated: |
[[ Static. ]] [[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]] [[ The scene opens up inside of a small-sized arena during a house show. A match just ended and the fans are still buzzing from the ending, which saw former Television champion Michael Shane defeat Rob Conway cleanly in the ring. While internet journalists are posting this on their websites, Gary Michael Cappetta enters the ring with a microphone. ]] Gary Michael Cappetta: Before I announce the next match, and since there's been an increase in SGW superstars wanting to cut promos to hype their matches on Stroke at house shows..I'll give any SGW superstar the opportunity right now to come to the ring and talk to these great fans in HICKORY, NORTH CAROLINA! [[ Huge crowd pop for the city plug. ]] Gary Michael Cappetta: So, any SGW superstar is free to enter the ring and cut an interview! [[ "Just Look At Me!" hits and the fans boo, except one of the members of Hickory High School Quilting team, who cheers wildly. Conway, fresh off his match, slides into the ring from the outside below. How did Conway know he was going to get the chance to talk? Anyway, Conway grabs the mic, he's breathingy heavily. ]] Rob Conway: Right now..I just want to say I'm sorry to my number one fan here in Hickory. [[ Conway points to the ugly man. ]] Rob Conway: Brett Albers..I didn't do things the Conway tonight.. YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME?! [[ "Metalingus" hits and out comes Edge, Trish Stratus, and Tyson Tomko. Edge has his ACW World title on his shoulder and they make their way to the ring to a huge chorus of boos. Rob Conway looks genuinely pissed that this is going on. Edge slides into the ring and sizes up Conway and smirks. ]] Rob Conway: Hey, this is my interview time! [[ Edge takes the mic. ]] Edge: Conway, I'd suggest you just go to the back before you end up like your buddy Val Venis, and I turn you into a luchadore, wearing an unique mask like he is right now..A mask full of JIZZ! Val Venis is rotting in Mexican promotions under the ring name, Los Loadon Face! So you don't even need to bother. [[ Conway looks pissed. ]] Edge: Go to the back and watch porn with Russo..Or better yet, screw your girlfriend Michelle McCool before I go back there and make her Michelle McMINE! [[ The fans don't know who to boo or cheer in this situation. ]] Edge: Because I'm toting about nine inches right here..Everybody knows I'm going to kick Rhyno's ass on Stroke, because I'M THE DAMN CHAMPION! So I really don't HAVE to be out here talking crap about the Man Beast..When I could be in the back, taking another one of my fellow wrestler's girlfriends. Rob Conway: Oh trust me, Edge..I'll go have sex..Nasty, tainted, Conway love. [[ Conway looks proud of himself. ]] Edge: Well Moses, go on to the back then and part those legs..Turn on the monitor when you get back there, and watch how a real man gets the job done on the mic like he does in the ring! [[ Conway nods and hops out of the ring and walks to the back. Edge laughs and paces around the ring before he starts back up. ]] Edge: What he doesn't know is Michelle McCool just got Michelle McLAID BY THE RATED R SUPERSTAR! [[ The fans boo as Edge laughs.
Trish rubs Edge's chest and then he hands her his ACW
World title. Edge gets down to business on the microphone.
]] Edge: Now, getting down to business..No disrespect to Rob Conway, but if anyone's going to take the easy way out of doing promo work this week, it's going to be me, the number one contender to the SGW World title! I deserve the easy road to the title! I deserve to be able to slack off and save myself for the main event of Wrestlebrawl..A match only I CAN MAIN EVENT! Only one man has what it takes to headline the biggest pay-per-view ever...AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT THAT MAN! YOU'RE LOOKING HIM IN THE DAMN EYES! [[ Trish nods and claps, the fans boo. ]] Edge: But that's the last time I'll mention being the number one contender until it's time to win the SGW World title. [[ The fans pop and Edge smirks. ]] Edge: Wait, no..No it's not. Because I have every right in the world to brag as much as I can about it! Because while everyone else on the SGW roster will be having to fight matches and then compete in a rumble..I'll be taking it easy, kicking Lance Storm's ass and taking a title I've been owed since 2001! I WILL ACHIEVE MY DESTINY! [[ Boos. Trish looks at Edge saying, "That's right, baby!" ]] Edge: And well, look at where we're at..North Carolina..Flair County. [[ "WOOOOO!'s" break out all around the arena. ]] Edge: Ya' know, if I wasn't gonna' so busy winning the SGW World title at Wrestlebrawl on July 30, I'd challenge Ric Flair to a match just so I could add to my legacy and show I'm better than Christian, by finishing off what Christian left behind of that god damn fossil! That stinkin' has-been! [[ Huge heat for slamming Ric Flair, but Edge doesn't care one bit. ]] Edge: But I'll save Ric Flair for another day..Another day when the time is right..Right now, I want to talk about Rhyno, the "Man Beast," the "Big F'N Deal." Well Rhyno, you're going to be a fool if you show your face in our match on Stroke. Because everyone who's taken the time to lace their boots up for war against me, HASN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE! THEY'RE NOT IN THIS COMPANY ANYMORE! EVEN ONE OF THEM ENDED UP DEAD! [[ Edge paces around the ring. ]] Edge: So Rhyno,
buddy, pal, compadre..You need to think twice before
stepping into the ring with me on Stroke Saturday night.
It could be the difference between staying on one piece..or
occupying a damn wheelchair! I've got my sights set on
the prize, the SGW World Heavyweight title..Nothing will
veer me off that path until I get it! I've said it a
thousand times..I will move any obstacle in my [[ He pauses and smacks his gum a few times. ]] Edge: So Rhyno..Don't test me. [[ Pause. ]] Edge: It's not going to be worth it. [[ "BOR-ING! BOR-ING!" is started to be heard. Edge notices and looks around. ]] Edge: BORING? BORING? I'M NOT BORING! I'M THE RATED R SUPERSTAR! I'M THE ACW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! I'M THE DAMN CHAMPION! I'M NOT BORING! [[ The chants only grow louder, infuriating Edge. ]] Edge: Fine..Fine..Say whatever you want! I don't care! I never cared about what you thought anyway! You're ignorant assholes! HATE ME! I WANT YOU TO HATE ME! RIC FLAIR SUCKS! RIC FLAIR IS GOING TO DIE SOON! HAH! THERE'S A REASON TO HATE ME! HATE ME BECAUSE I SPEAK THE TRUTH! RIC FLAIR IS OLD! RHYNO SUCKS! I'M THE DAMN CHAMPION! [[ The chants get louder. ]] Edge: YOU PEOPLE ARE ILLITERATE ASSHOLES! [[ And louder. Edge is beet red with anger. ]] Edge: WE'LL SEE WHO'S BORING WHEN I END RHYNO'S LIFE AND STORM'S TITLE REIGN! [[ The chants continue and Edge seems fed up..He shakes his head in disgust. ]] Edge: SCREW THIS! BRING OUT THE NEXT MATCH PARTICIPANTS! I'M DONE! THIS ISN'T WORTH IT! I DESERVE RESPECT! I ENDED VAL VENIS! I KILLED CHRISTIAN! I'M THE DAMN CHAMP! [[ Edge spikes the microphone down on the mat, making a loud thump. Edge grabs Trish by the hand and forces her out of the ring with Tomko following behind them. Edge and his crew are halfway down the entrance ramp as David Flair comes down the ring for his match. SPEAR ON DAVID FLAIR! SPEAR ON DAVID FLAIR! Edge stands over him, furious. He points to himself, and what he says is barely audible. ]] Edge: I can do that..because I am the
[[ Edge continues his way back through the curtains as the scene fades. ]] [[ Static. ]] [[ Fade out. ]]
Scott Smith || xxscottxsmithxx |
way.
