|| Record: 001 - 000 - 000 || Match: vs. bWo-Tag Titles || Roleplay #: 004

' Dinner and a Movie '

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]

[[ Immediately Edge pops into our screen along with Stacy. Black background behind them. Edge is wearing his 'Rated-R' superstar shirt and jeans, Stacy is wearing a pink top and a white skirt. Stacy is pressed tightly against Edge, who's arm is around her. ]]

Edge: Ladies and gentlemen, the following presentation has been officially been deemed...R-RATED!

[[ Edge continues as Stacy smiles. ]]

Edge: What you are about to witness is something that has never been done before in the history of wrestling. Never before has such a superstar of my magnitude ever revealed himself in such a manner for the fans' entertainment. But...as the Rated-R Superstar, and future five-time SGW Tag Team Champion, I think it's the right thing to do.

Stacy Keibler: And it'll make Val Venis cry.

Edge: That too. You know, I'm most known as the guy who ruined Matt Hardy's life...Now..I guess I'm the man who ruined Val Venis' life this week, and on Shock..The man who, along with Christian, ended the lives of the Blue World Order.

[[ Stacy nods as she rubs Edge's chest. ]]

Edge: I mean, really, this is why I'm presenting this to you guys instead of another promo bashing the bWo. They know they're like Stacy Keibler in the backseat of a car...Or in my bed..

[[ Edge pauses and then delivers the punch line. ]]

Edge: ..Screwed.

[[ Boom. Edge is the man. ]]

Edge: You can only talk so much about a group of losers. The bWo know they're losing to me and Christian on Shock, and surely to God, you, you the wrestling fan, know that on Shock, the bWo will NOT pull any sort of underdog upset on the greatest tag team alive. Because you're looking at one half of the greatest team alive, and Edge DOES NOT lay down for anyone. Edge and Christian will not be denied their destiny of breaking a long standing SGW record...Just as Stacy and I's affection for one another will not be left unwitnessed!

[[ Stacy shakes her head no as Edge moves the hair out of his eyes. ]]

Edge: That's why I've decided to let you all witness the first-ever Rated-R production of mine and Stacy..Trust me, it's something you will NEVER forget! People's lives will be changed forever! For the first time ever on Solid Gold television, or free television period..THE EDGE AND STACY SEX TAPE! Yeah, that's right! SEX TAPE!

[[ Holy shit, Edge can't be serious. You can't have sex in a wrestling promo can you? ]]

Edge: Huh? You think I'm joking? You think Edge won't take it to the limit and post it so the world can see? You think I'm a joke?

[[ Edge is seemingly awaiting a reply. He comes back with his own, very bluntly, he says. ]]

Edge: I'm not a Dave Batista promo...I'm not a joke. I backup everything I say I'm going to do. Like on Shock, Christian and I promise a win, and that's exactly what we're going to deliver..And right now, I'm promising crazy, twisted, hardcore SEX with Stacy Keibler...And that's damn well what you're getting! SEX!

[[ Edge has a crazed look in his eyes, it's only turning Stacy on even more. ]]

Edge: So if you're under the age of eighteen or just don't want to be embarrassed by yours truly...Then I suggest you go watch something for little kids, like a bWo interview. Because this right here...This is how the big boys do it!

Stacy Keibler: You got that right.

Edge: Blue World Order, I guess I really do need to say something about you, so when we win, you guys won't have a lot of complaining to do...So, well...Here goes...

[[ Edge pauses. ]]

Edge: Maybe next time. Keep it up though. Keep training, working hard, and sitting back, watching Christian and I...We're the prime examples of how to succeed in this business. We've achieved things that no other man has ever achieved, done things, that no other men have done..bWo, if at first you don't succeed..They say to try, try again. But when you're facing Edge and Christian, especially in SGW, you won't have that option of trying and trying again.

[[ Edge looks into the camera. ]]

Edge: Because ask anybody and they'll tell you straight up...We get the job done right the first time. But to make it a little more wrestling related, and not just two of the hottest people alive having crazy sex, the bWo is occassionally mentioned in the feature presentation.

Stacy Keibler: Unfortunately.

[[ Edge looks at Stacy and has a crazed look in his eyes. He turns to the camera one last time. ]]

Edge: So without further ado...Here's "Dinner and a Movie!"

[[ We fade out and a large "R" flashes across the screen. This should be interesting. ]]

The Following Presentation Has Been Declared Rated

May Contain:

Foul Language, Excessive Violence, and Strong Sexual Content

[[ We're in a hotel room. It's night time, around seven o'clock. It's not your typical, ran-down hotel room like we stay at. This is big time. This is like a suite that we'd not be able to afford if we worked our entire lives. Edge and Stacy enter through the door, arm in arm. Stacy is wearing a black mini-skirt and a black 'Rated-R Superstar' t-shirt, strategically cut to reveal her assets. Edge is wearing a shirt of his own, a black leather jacket, and blue jeans. Stacy sits down on the bed and starts watching television. Edge looks in the kitchen area while on his cell phone. ]]

Edge: Yeah, I know. Blue World Order doesn't have a chance.

Christian: (On other line) I pitched the idea of us facing them, and Jeff LOVED it! Well, it's technically me and a mystery partner, but Sherlock Holmes could figure out who I'm picking.

[[ Edge has to find a way off the phone. ]]

Edge: Yeah...No doubt.

[[ Christian is just relentless. ]]

Christian: (On other line) So, you getting out with us tonight?

Edge: I don't think so.

Christian: (On other line) What? Why not?

[[ Edge looks over at Stacy, who's watching television still. He licks his lips and replies. ]]

Edge: I think me and Stacy are gonna' call it a night. Rest up for our tag match if you know what I mean.

Christian: (On other line) Bro, it's seven fifteen! Why would you go to bed so early for?

[[ Edge rolls his eyes. Before he can say anything else, Christian chimes back in. ]]

Christian: (On other line) OH! Oh man...Well, I guess you want me to get off the phone with you then, huh?

[[ Edge nods his head like Christian's in the room. He replies. ]]

Edge: It would be appreciated.

[[ You can hear the disappointment in Christian's voice. ]]

Christian: (On other line) Well, I guess I'll just talk to you-

[[ Click. ]]

[[ Edge closes the phone. Phone call over. Poor Christian. Edge lays the phone down and walks over to Stacy, who takes her attention from the television and directs it to the rated-R Superstar, future SGW Tag Team champion. ]]

Stacy Keibler: So champ, what do you got in mind for tonight?

Edge: Well, to start the celebration early I thought maybe tonight, we could go for dinner and a movie here.

[[ Well, as the saying goes, to make money you got to spend money. Stacy looks pleased. ]]

Edge: How's that sound?

Stacy Keibler: Sounds fine to me. What are we going to watch?

[[ Edge reaches into his large travel bag and pulls out a video camera. Stacy looks puzzled. ]]

Edge: Well...I thought that tonight..We could make dinner..

[[ Edge turns on the video camera, looks at it and then at Stacy. He speaks with a bit of a smirk on his face. ]]

Edge: While making the movie.

[[ Edge, what a man he is. Always coming up with awesome ideas. Stacy looks interested as she gets up off the bed and walks to Edge. He puts his arms around her waist and she looks into his eyes. ]]

Stacy Keibler: What are you saying...You want to make an 'R-Rated' special?

Edge: It sure as hell beats thinking about the Blue World Order.

Stacy Keibler: Oh...I can make you forget the bWo.

Edge: I already have. They're a nonfactor in everything. A short-shorts wearing idiot and a face-paint wearing slob won't get me off my game..Tonight..It's you and me, Stacy. You're leaving four years of boredom with Venis behind...And you're taking a step...Over the EDGE!

[[ Edge brings Stacy tighter, they kiss. Edge looks down at her. ]]

Edge: I will do things to you tonight that will make Val Venis look like an amateur.

Stacy Keibler: As long as you don't end me.

Edge: You're not the bWo.

[[ They kiss passionately again. They kiss so long you start to wonder if either can breath anymore. They finally stop, they're breathing heavily. You know what's fixing to go down. Edge walks over to the dresser in front of their large bed and adjusts the camera so it's going to capture everything just right. Once he sees that everything is in place, he throws down the covers. Stacy walks over and they begin passionately kissing again. This goes on for what seems an eternity. Stacy slowly removes the leather jacket off Edge. Edge rubs Stacy's cheeks and they kiss again.]]

Edge: Are you ready?

Stacy Keibler: Without a doubt.

Edge: Well, I only dish it out one way...That's rough.

[[ Stacy looks turned on as she rubs Edge's chest. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Good.

[[ The making out continues as Edge rips Stacy's shirt off. That's right, rips, tears that bitch in two and throws it on the floor, revealing Stacy's black bra. Edge has the favor returned on him as his shirt is taken off. Stacy rubs all over Edge's chest. Edge picks Stacy up and throws her on the bed where he gets on top of her and continues kissing her passionately. You're beginning to feel like this is something you shouldn't be watching, but something you just can't take your eyes off...Like a train wreck. ]]

Edge: It's go time, baby!

Stacy Keibler: Let's do this.

[[ The awkward level rises by a mile as Stacy begins taking off Edge's jeans. They're off and now on the floor. Edge takes off Stacy's barely there skirt and it joins the jeans and the other articles of clothing on the floor. Stacy in laying down on the bed, her long legs wrapped around Edge. Edge picks Stacy up and they get off the bed. Stacy knows what to do next, she gets down on her knees, removes Edge's boxer shorts, and there it is folks..Instead of a dick we're saved by a "Rated R" logo strategically placed. Stacy looks up to her new man from the ground. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Just like your opponents...I suck.

[[ Edge has a sadistic smile on his face as Stacy begins going to work on Edge's unit, or the large "Rated R" logo. And I mean, that bitch is sucking like it's a god damn candy cane. Edge looks very happy, and why shouldn't he? Stacy Keibler is visiting the candy shop and licking the sucker if you catch my drift. The sucking continues, and then suddenly, Edge's cell phone rings. Like a true man, he answers it..And Stacy continues. ]]

Edge: Hello?

Christian: (On other line) Dude, you two doing the no-pants dance yet?

[[ Edge looks like he could punch through a brick wall. ]]

Edge: Why are you calling for?

Christian: (On other line) I was just wondering..

Edge: What?

Christian: (On other line) ..How to make Trish do that.

[[ Click. ]]

Edge: ..Idiot.

[[ Edge throws the cell phone out of his reach. Stacy stops sucking and looks up again, her face red, especially around her mouth. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Who was-

Edge: No.

[[ Edge grabs the back of Stacy's head and puts it back where it belongs and she continues doing business. ]]

Edge: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

[[ Edge stays true to horrible porno diologue. He grabs Stacy by the hair and picks her up and shoves her on the bed. He takes off her bra, and her boobs are there for everyone to see. No "Rated R" logo, because no one wants to see a dick, they want to see tits. Edge rubs all around the nipples, finally he starts licking them to Stacy's pleasure. You're immediately wondering how the hell this is still being aired. But dammit, this is how we roll. ]]

[[ Edge gets up and removes Stacy's black panties. Once again, no "Rated R" logo, but instead a freshly shaven pussy for our delightment. Edge looks like he just won the lottery, because well, to all ugly nerds like Mike Adkins, he just did. Edge exits the bed and leans down on the ground and by god, you'd think he was a dog or something the way he starts licking Stacy's pussy. Stacy is moaning with delight as Edge is just attacking the pie for all it's worth. ]]

Stacy Keibler: OHHHHHHHHH! YESSSSSS!

[[ That bitch is loving every second of it..Good lord, put your dick back in your pants. This is a typed promo...Edge takes his index and birdie finger and massages the clit and then goes back to taking care of business. Lives are being changed right now as we speak. Wrestling has just entered a new stage of 'going to the extreme.' Stacy scoots back farther on the bed, as she's now in the middle. He grabs his big "Rated R" logo and gets it's ready. ]]

Edge: Down the hatch.

[[ Stacy nods and she's playing with herself. Edge gets back on the bed and inserts into Stacy, who immediately moans with uncomfort. Edge begins wearing that pussy out big time, missionary style. He's just hitting it like a punching bag. ]]

[[ BAM! BAM! ]]

[[ BAM! BAM! BAM! ]]

[[ He ony gains speed as Stacy's moaning like she's in pain. ]]

Stacy Keibler: IT'S SO BIG! YES! OOOHHH YESSS!! UHHHHH!

[[ And Stacy continues porno trends as well by her horrible diologue usage. But hey, I guess you just speak what you're thinking. Go figure. ]]

[[ Edge takes her long legs and puts them on his broad shoulders. He kisses from the ankle to the knee. While rubbing her pussy he now kisses all the way down to her inner thigh. Stacy is just going apeshit with delight. With her long legs on his shoulders, Edge inserts again and begins once again, doing like the Ying Yang Twins' song, and is beating that pussy up. ]]

[[ BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! ]]

Edge: BOOM!

[[ Edge looks into the camera he's set up. And from that view, you get a perfect site of Edge hitting Stacy. He's looking into the camera as Stacy is playing with her firm brests. ]]

Edge: Blue Meanie and Stevie Richards, if you be like me you can do it all! WIN MATCHES! WIN TITLES! AND HAVE SEX!

Stacy Keibler: FASTER! FASTER!

[[ Edge tries picking up the pace but Stacy still isn't pleased. ]]

Stacy Keibler: FASTER! OHHHHHH!

[[ Edge SLAPS Stacy across the face! ]]

Edge: ENOUGH!

[[ Stacy starts playing with her breasts, licking them, rubbing them. Edge pulls out and turns her around. He then kicks the action back in with doggie style. And he's nailing Stacy from the back, he's reaching and playing with her tits. ]]

[[ KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! ]]

[[ What the hell? Who has visitors during sex? Edge looks at the door. ]]

Edge: WHAT?

[[ The door busts open without Edge letting anyone in. Edge, still fucking Stacy, looks to see who it is. In walks Jim Cornette and Tomko. Cornette walks into view of Edge and speaks. Tomko shows no expression like always. ]]

James E. Cornette: Don't mind us, we're just gettin'...HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!

[[ Cornette then sees Stacy's body laying down on the bed. He's frozen staring. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ....Whoa.

James E. Cornette: GOD DAAAAAMN!

[[ Cornette just keeps looking at Stacy's nude body. Edge looks at Cornette. ]]

Edge: Was you wanting something? I'm a little busy.

[[ Cornette doesn't flench. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Edge...He's freaking me out.

[[ Edge gets up, grabs a towel and puts it on. He walks over to Cornette, who is still staring at Stacy and throws him out of the damn room! He goes back to Stacy, removes his towel and they begin kissing on the bed and playing with one another to get back in the mood that Cornette ruined. Tomko sees a radio and turns it on. Playing is soft, love making music. Tomko looks soothed as he watches Edge go back to work. This goes on for a couple of minutes. ]]

Edge: Uh...Tomko...

[[ Tomko knows he's caught now. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...Leaving.

[[ Tomko, without resistance, walks to the door and shows himself out. Edge grabs Stacy and she lays on top of him. ]]

Edge: Now..Where we were?

Stacy Keibler: Right about here..

[[ Stacy kisses Edge one last time and now she sits down on his crotch. She's riding Edge's big ol' "Rated R" logo like it's a bucking bronco. It's all slow at first, Stacy maneuvering her body every time she goes up her entire body moves like a snake or a slinky. And she's taking the eight xecond challenge, she's playing with her tits and Edge has her grabbed by the thighs. ]]

Edge: Oh yeah!

Stacy Keibler: YES! YES!

[[ Stacy looks into the camera as she rubs herself from her collar bone down to her baby maker. ]]

Stacy Keibler: I'd hate to be you, bWo!

[[ Stacy is such a woman, talking trash to jobbers while having crazy sex with Edge. ]]

Edge: Enough about the bWo, I'm losing my wood.

[[ Well, it does make sense. ]]

[[ Stacy continues riding Edge and then finally she gets off. Both participants look exhausted because this thing has been going on for a long time. Edge is a machine and Stacy is going like a wild beast or something. Stacy lays back down on her back on the bed. Edge wipes some sweat off his forehead and is just about to stick it back in Stacy until another knock is heard at the door. ]]

Edge: What the...

" THIS IS VAL VENIS! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, EDGE! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! "

[[ Edge springs up, as does Stacy. Edge puts on his boxers and looks ready for a fight. ]]

Edge: COME ON IN! COME ON!

[[ The door doesn't open. ]]

Edge: I SAID COME IN, DAMMIT! C'MON VENIS!

[[ Edge finally goes to the door and opens it...CHRISTIAN?! Edge looks at Christian, and he could kill him right now. Christian's smiling. ]]

Christian: Got ya'.

Edge: ...What are you doing here?

Christian: Thought you'd be done by now and we could grab a bite to eat.

Edge: I'm not finished, Christian.

[[ Christian looks shocked. ]]

Christian: Holy crap, Edge. It's been like thirty minutes, man!

Edge: I know.

[[ Edge pushes Christian out the door and closes it. You can hear him from outside. ]]

Christian: Well..Alright..Just uh...Call me..

[[ Edge shakes his head, removes his boxers, "Rated R" logo comes back into play. He moves back over to Stacy and goes back to work, like a man who can't be stopped. ]]

Stacy Keibler: He means well.

Edge: To be such a damn good wrestler, he sure is an idiot sometimes.

[[ They kiss. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Yeah.

[[ Kiss again. ]]

Edge: But now, it's your turn to go down for the count. You're fixing to get..EDGE-A-CUTED!

[[ Horrible lines. Horrible. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Oh, please do!

[[ Edge sticks the logo back in and starts laying the pipe to Stacy again. Stacy is moaning with delight again, that alone is enough to make a man lose his mind, but not Edge. Edge is a man and he's just pounding away still. ]]

Edge: OH YEAH! HERE WE GO!

Stacy Keibler: YES! YES! YES!

[[ Edge thrusts a couple of more times and pulls out, he starts rubbing his unit, which is still covered by the "Rated R" logo so we don't have the nasty visual of his unit. ]]

Edge: It's time for the REAL money shot, Stacy.

Stacy Keibler: Good!

[[ Edge jacks it a couple of times and just covers Stacy's face with the white stuff! Edge and Stacy both let out sighs of relief after a series of vigerous sex. ]]

Edge: Whew...So, do you smoke after sex?

[[ Stacy looks down at her pussy and then back at Edge. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Uh...no?

[[ Edge shakes his head. Hey, the bitch is hot, you can't have brains and intelligence. ]]

Edge: Just go get a shower.

Stacy Keibler: No cuddling?

[[ Hell no, Edge doesn't cuddle. ]]

Edge: Nope. Later if you're lucky.

[[ Stacy gets up, and goes to the bathroom. She's doing good to walk. In fact, halfway there, she just gets down on all fours and starts crawling. Edge fucked that bitch so hard she can't fucking walk! Edge wipes sweat from his face and puts on his boxers. He looks into the camera placed on his dresser. ]]

Edge: THAT's how *I* ROLL!

[[ Edge has a cocky smile on his face after a job well done. ]]

Edge: Just proved I'm no liar when I say that I am the RATED R SUPERSTAR!

[[ Edge walks to his nightstand beside the bed and picks up a piece of paper. ]]

Edge: More or less, on Shock, I'm going in the match with one mindset.

[[ He holds up the paper, in big bold letters it reads "FUCK THE bWO!" Edge smiles. ]]

Edge: Well, all in all..Let's see, you're a bunch of jobber opponents, can't win a match, can't beat me and Christian...And you sat through this entire movie of watching me and Stacy Keibler have wild, crazy, tantric sex..bWo..I guess you can consider yourselves..Owned.

[[ Boom. ]]

[[ And with that the credit begin rolling down the screen as "Dinner and a Movie" is on top of the screen in big, gold letters. ]]

[[ The scene fades. ]]

[[ Scene cuts back to Stacy Keibler and Edge like they were in the beginning of the promo. ]]

Edge: Wow, I got to say Stacy, you weren't half bad.

Stacy Keibler: You were amazing.

Edge: I know.

[[ Edge brings Stacy close. ]]

Edge: I told you, baby, Val Venis is just an afterthought, as is bWo.

Stacy Keibler: You're the man, Edge!

[[ Edge smiles and looks in the camera. ]]

Edge: There you have it...There was just a taste...A TASTE of what me and Stacy Keibler do in the bedroom. I told you all that you'd witness the Stacy and Edge SEX TAPE, and sure enough..That's what you just watched. I'm a man of my word, and the Rated R Superstar..

[[ He looks at Stacy and kisses her. ]]

Edge: ALWAYS delivers.

[[ Edge looks back at the camera as Stacy does as well. ]]

Edge: Well, that should sum everything up. Edge, Rated R Superstar, future five-time SGW Tag Team Champion...Is now...The MAN! See ya' at Shock.

[[ The scene fades to a black screen. ]]

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade out. ]]

|| Scott Smith - GOAT - Greatest of All Time ||