|| Record: 003 - 000 - 000 || Match: vs. Val Venis-Mystery Box Ladder Match || Roleplay #: 007

' The Self-Destruction of Val Venis '

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]

[[ Our scene is immediately filled by a view of Edge and Stacy Keibler standing side by side again. Edge is wearing a black leather jacket and a black matching shirt with a gray logo on it and sunglasses. Stacy is wearing a "Rated-R Superstar" t-shirt, which is much like their attire last time we saw them in this situation. Another sex tape? Who knows? ]]

[[ The camera zooms in on Edge, who is smiling like a kid who just crapped his diaper. ]]

Edge: Welcome to another 'Rated-R' SPECIAL! I am the man behind the special, the "Rated R Superstar", the four-time SGW Tag Team Champion, Hall of Fame member, and the man who on Sunday night, will be the man who ends Val Venis once and for all...Your girlfriends call me Money in the Sack, but you can call me EDGE!

Stacy Keibler: And tonight, we present to you another R-Rated special, this time, dedicated to Val Venis..Right babe?

[[ They kiss passionately to the point that you wonder if they'll ever stop for air. ]]

Edge: Exactly right, Stacy.

[[ Edge puts his arm around Stacy, bringing her close to him. ]]

Edge: This Sunday night at Six-String Supremacy, I face long-time nemesis Val Venis in a ladder match, and well..I don't want to toot my own horn, but toot, toot..I'm going to kick Val Venis' ass, and more than likely...Kill him.

Stacy Keibler: That's if he gets off lucky.

Edge: Val Venis has done a lot of stupid things in his life, and I'm inducting picking a fight with me into that group. You know, the Adam and Eve promos, smoking weed with RVD, riding in limousines and airplanes. All that stuff that just makes us sit back and think, "Damn, Val Venis is a stupid son of a bitch!"

Stacy Keibler: Yep.

Edge: So, me being the man I am...I've created this R Rated masterpiece..Oh no, no, no, it's not another sex tape, which is the HIGHEST SELLING TAPE EVER by the way!..This here is a retrospective look at the flaws and bloopers of the thing Val Venis calls a career!

[[ Edge rubs his chin and continues quickly. ]]

Edge: I call this one..."The Self-Destruction of Val Venis." And yes...It's been deemed..R RATED!

[[ Edge kisses Stacy again and the scene cuts. ]]

The Following Presentation Has Been Declared Rated

May Contain:

Foul Language, Excessive Violence, and Strong Sexual Content

' THE SELF-DESTRUCTION OF VAL VENIS '

[[ The scene fades up from the 'Self-Destruction of Val Venis' logo into a montage of Val Venis moments throughout his career. Johnny Cash's "Hurt" plays in the background. So far so good I suppose. Val Venis is seen finishing off, er, ending various opponents with The Ender, aka The Money Shot. The final clip shown is Val Venis holding his nEw World title high in the air to the fans displeasure. ]]

[[ From there it flashes to Edge, who is wearing a black toboggin and sunglasses. Stacy Keibler is sitting beside him. Instantly you can feel the hatred, though you're watching it and not in person. You just know this has been something brewing for a long time. Edge looks into the camera, preparing to speak. ]]

Edge: Val Venis..What else is there to say about the man who has had every possible shot taken at him?

[[ Edge thinks critically for a second, Stacy shrugs. ]]

Edge: Val Venis started in Solid Gold during our second run with the company. We were starting anew, Christian and I were getting ready to win our second SGW Tag Team titles and set the world back on fire. I always noticed Val. When he first came in, he was doing the ridiculous Right to Censor gimmick, thinking that was going to get over.

[[ Fade to Val Venis' debut match against Johnny the Bull for the Extreme title. Needless to say, it wasn't much of a match. Johnny the Bull made quick work of the neck-tie wearing Venis. The match ends to the fans approval, as JTB was an unstoppable force in SGW at that time. We switch scenes as we see Val Venis laying unconscious on the mat. ]]

[[ We now switch scenes over to Steven Richards and Ivory. ]]

Steven Richards: Yes...Mr. Val Venis...He tried very hard when he was apart of our group. We were destined to take Solid Gold Wrestling over and make it a company that you could sit with the family and watch! It was to start by taking that garbage title away from Johnny and banning hardcore wrestling from this sport forever...But..

Ivory: Val choked.

[[ Richards, who was looking for a better way of putting, realizes Ivory said it as best as possible. He just goes along with it and nods. ]]

Ivory: Not only did he choke in that match...He LOST EVERY MATCH!

Steven Richards: Ms. Ivory, Mr. Venis did end up winning the Television title.

Ivory: Yes, Mr. Richards he did...But also lost it the very next week.

[[ Richards shakes his head. ]]

Steven Richards: Explains why we dumped him.

Ivory: Yep.

[[ The scene cuts from the Right to Censor members to Johnny the Bull, who is sitting slumped in his chair. He looks like he doesn't want to be here at all for this interview. ]]

Johnny the Bull: Yeah, I welcomed Val Venis ta' SGDubya..

[[ He pauses. ]]

Johnny the Bull: I kicked his ass. He thought he was gonna' walk in and beat me, take my title? Heh, fuhgettaboutit!

[[ He snarls a little as he continues. ]]

Johnny the Bull: Then I get put in Money Inc. wit'em..I was startin' ta' wonda' what I did to piss Shane McMahon off.

[[ We cut back to Edge. ]]

Edge: After he was dumped by the RTC, Money Incorporated came knocking. Shane McMahon formed this stable to try to help Val out. Ted DiBiase came in, Johnny the Bull, IRS, the whole gang was here. Val won another Television title, and now can take credit as having the second longest reign ever in the Television title history.

Stacy Keibler: Yeah, easy to do when you never defend it or wrestle against people who are even lower on the totem pole than Val.

Edge: Is there even such a thing as "lower than Val Venis?"

Stacy Keibler: Well..Maybe he kept it because he never defended it then.

Edge: Thought so.

[[ Scene cuts from them to a logo reading "Val Joins Money Inc." Ted DiBiase and IRS now vacate the screen, ready to spill their souls on their former Money Inc. associate. ]]

Ted DiBiase: Oh yes, Val Venis..Shane McMahon proposed us adding Val to our entourage and well, I wasn't happy with it. Shane then offered me a pay raise, so yeah, Val Venis was welcomed in Money Incorporated with open arms. Who knew, maybe he could produce for us?

Irwin R. Schyster: But then the group started, and we were carrying Val to victories.

Ted DiBiase: I even had to carry Val to the Tag Team titles.

Irwin R. Schyster: But, Val's ignorance shows. Especially when meeting with Ted in his first promo.

Ted DiBiase: HAHAHAHAHAH!! How about that? Not only did I sucker Val into paying me to show my face in his promo to give it credibility, but I cut the profit the psychitrist received from examining Val. He stayed in their FOUR HOURS talking about stuff with her!

[[ Ted adjusts his suit coat, smiling. ]]

Ted DiBiase: Just like the olden days, Val Venis...Always the sucker.

Irwin R. Schyster: We knew he couldn't achieve anything on his own, so when Johnny won the SGW title, we paid him to give Val the United States title.

[[ We fade back to the Bull. ]]

Johnny the Bull: Yeah, I was paid $250,000 to give Val Venis mah U.S. title afta' I won the World title. First I 'bout tol DiBiase to go take a walk offa' cliff, but then I thought, 'hey, 250 grand will buy a lot more stuff.' So I bought a new car.

[[ Reasonable choice I suppose. ]]

Johnny the Bull: Speakin' ah cars, 'bout this point in time is when Venis was cruisin' 'round in limousines and private jets. He didn't fuckin' own a thing, or pay for 'em!

[[ Fade back to DiBiase. ]]

Ted DiBiase: Yes...Val Venis stuck me with the limousine bill...Even to this day. That same limousine he's in right now I'm sure is the same one we purchased in Solid Gold almost five years ago.

Irwin R. Schyster: It makes for a nice income tax write-off, but I think the limousine has to have more than sufficient miles on it to be at the stage of being broken down. He's rode in it every where.

Ted DiBiase: He's lucky I'm a man of money, and like donating to charitable causes...Or..

[[ Fade back to the Bull. ]]

Johnny the Bull: Yeah, DiBiase offered me five million to kill Venis once for stealing that limo. But eh, guess he got ova' it.

[[ It's like the question of if he'd kill Venis was asked. He thinks for a second. ]]

Johnny the Bull: Yeah...I'd killed 'em...What? Five million to kill a little shit like Val Venis? That's like puttin' a crippled horse outta' his misery!

[[ Fade back to Edge and Stacy. ]]

Edge: Poor Venis. Is it me Stacy, or is the 'Val Venis sucks' theme becoming one of those running themes throughout history?

Stacy Keibler: Your reputation does follow you.

Edge: Suppose so. So Val Venis stole that limousine?

Stacy Keibler: Yep. We took it to go get ice cream one night after a pay-per-view, and DiBiase hasn't seen it again since.

Edge: But it was in every Venis promo..Why did he do that for? Wouldn't DiBiase call in saying it was stolen, and since it's obvious Venis was in it twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, it could be easily found?

Stacy Keibler: You'd think that wouldn't you? But that's Val for you.

Edge: That is true I guess. Val Venis is an idiot.

Stacy Keibler: Well Edge, he does think he can beat you on Sunday doesn't he?

[[ Edge nods. ]]

Edge: That is true. There's three givens in this life.

[[ He holds up three fingers and begins counting them. ]]

Edge: Val Venis will always ride around in limousines. Val Venis will NEVER become an SGW World Champion...And Val Venis will ALWAYS lose to ME!..He's already done it once in SGW, and on Sunday, looks to me like he's going to get back in the swing of things back in his familiar spot.

Stacy Keibler: Laying on the back.

Edge: No, I said Val's favorite spot, not yours.

Stacy Keibler: I know, Edge! Mine's on my knees!

[[ Edge nods, can't argue with that. ]]

Edge: And uh...Let's not let very many people see the JTB footage where he almost killed Venis..That's something that could land him in jail.

Stacy Keibler: Plotting murder isn't something to joke about.

Edge: Neither is saying you're going to defeat someone of my caliber in a ladder match. Val Venis and climbing to the top of ladders is an oxy moron. Every time Val Venis has had a chance to climb to the top of a ladder, theoretically speaking and legitimately speaking, he's not been able to. He always goofs up.

Stacy Keibler: Like the Adam and Eve promos.

Edge: Something like...But Val Venis needs to watch this history lesson closely.

[[ Edge looks into the camera sternly. ]]

Edge: I've already achieved victory over Venis once in a match in SGW..And of course, countless other morale victories, like..Stealing Stacy as my own! Just ask the Bull about the night I pinned Val Venis.

[[ Fade back to Johnny the Bull. ]]

Johnny the Bull: Ya'see, I was undefeated in Solid Gold at'dis time. I was World Champion and I got stuck in a tag match with Venis against Jarrett and Edge. I knew immediately we was like Stacy Keibler in 'da back ah' Edge's car if you know what I mean.

[[ Yes, yes we do. ]]

Johnny the Bull: So 'da match comes, we were takin' care of business..Well, I was anyway..Jarrett takes me outside with a clothesline and starts pummeling me. Sure enough, leave it to Venis to fuck everything up. Edge hits the DDT and it's ova'. My winnin' streak and Venis' credibility.

[[ He pauses. ]]

Johnny the Bull: Whateva' credibility he even had to start with.

[[ Fade back to Edge. ]]

Edge: And Venis...Usually lightning doesn't strike twice, but when it's me against you...I could not even show up to the match and I'd STILL win. Because quite frankly Venis, you're just not the man you used to be.

Stacy Keibler: Not saying much with that one.

Edge: You're just a broken down shell of your former self. I've taken everything away from you, Val! Your career is gone, your girlfriend is now my sex toy, and your long-term consultant, Eric Bischoff is busy picking up his teeth off the damn ground! I've done everything possible to finish you off, except beat you to a bloody-pulp!

[[ Edge looks intense, which is turning Stacy on. ]]

Edge: You want to run in and sneak attack me? Talk about being SGW's favorite son and all that other garbage...Then go ahead. I'm winning this war, Venis. All you're trying to do now is make up for all your screw ups in the past. But it's just too late to do that. This isn't New Era Wrestling, you don't have the stroke. You have no pull and no talent anymore, Albers. You know your days of main eventing and being a hot shot in this business are long gone. So that's why you decided to try to make your own feud up. You wanted the main event payout, Venis, and so you're trying to pick a fight with me over Stacy Keibler.

[[ Edge rubs his chin, you can feel the tension. Edge genuinely hates Venis. ]]

Edge: But that's fine. I'll bring you back up to my level. I'll let you reside on top of the wrestling world for one match. It takes a real man to pick a fight with me over a girl..And a real idiot to think he's going to walk away as the victor. Val Venis, you think your past promos and this documentary on your career is an embarrassment? Just wait til the people watching Supremacy sees what's left of Val Venis after the ladder match.

[[ Edge snarls. ]]

Edge: Because after it's all said and done, Val...I'll make you regret coming back for a fight. I'll make you tuck your tail between your legs and leave SGW forever! I'll destroy what's left of your career and leave you without anywhere to go. You're the one making this personal, you're the one trying to make yourself into a hot shot. Attacking me the week after you killed your mentor..You want to try to be a hero Val? Huh? Be a hero and go save a kitten out of a damn tree...Trying to fight for Stacy isn't being a hero...It's SUICIDE!

[[ Edge stares into the camera as the scene switches to Arn Anderson, horribly disfigured and injured from the attack Venis laid on his a few weeks ago. ]]

Arn Anderson: Val Venis was a bright and shining star. He was my chosen one to be the new era of Solid Gold..I put 'em in the Money Incorpoated stable, handed him titles...I did everything I could think of to try to get Val Venis over with the fans and make him into someone. I just don't know what else I could have done to achieve it.

[[ He takes a deep breath. Speaking is hurting him, but he must tell he side of the story. ]]

Arn Anderson: One day, Ted DiBiase came to me and offered me a lot of money to have that stable be inducted into the Hall of Fame..At that time, I was just going to induct Johnny since he was tearin' the place up..But Ted's offer was more than gracious. He wanted it to just be him and the Bull, but I had to put Venis in there too.

[[ Arn coughs, looking in so much pain. ]]

Arn Anderson: So, Val Venis can claim to be in the Hall of Fame, but if it wasn't for who he knew...I don't guess he'd be in the place he's in today.

[[ Arn looks at his fingers, which look like zig zags. ]]

Arn Anderson: Val Venis, now, is the biggest black eye on this company since Taz!

[[ Zing. ]]

Arn Anderson: In his first promo, he's all acting like he's my friend. And sure, I'll be in every one of the promos he wants to me as long as he keeps paying up.

[[ Arn's shattered hands hold a large sum of cash. ]]

Arn Anderson: What? Hospital bills don't pay themselves.

[[ His broken face smirks. ]]

Arn Anderson: And I truly hope...And lord forgive me for this...But I truly hope at Supremacy..Solid Gold Wrestling witnesses its first murder on pay-per-view when Edge kills Val Venis. I really mean it.

[[ Fade scene back to Edge, who is wiping imaginary tears from his eyes. ]]

Edge: Arn, you favortism showing bastard...It'd be my honor to place Val Venis in the cemetery.

[[ Edge cuts it short. ]]

Edge: But I won't do it for you Anderson...I remember Total Destruction 2001. I remember you jobbing Christian and I unfairly to Demolition. I remember you holding us back...So when I slaughter Val Venis, it won't be done for you..Oh not even close! It'll be done...FOR...ME!

[[ We switch to a black screen with the words in purple reading "New Era Wrestling". We now fade from there to a view of Christian, who is sitting beside Trish. He looks very laid back and pumped to be doing an interview bashing his long-time rival. ]]

Christian: Val Venis has a lot of history with Edge and I. We were always stealing his thunder. Like, when SGW closed, he joined nEw and we joined ACW. Val wins the World title, the entire wrestling world is worshipping Val Venis..The next week, first ACW ppv, I win the World title and now the entire world starts worshipping me...And rightfully so.

Trish Stratus: Val Venis held onto that title for a month. Never seein nEw gold again.

Christian: And I never lost my title and added more gold to it. Val Venis was just a one-hit wonder. When you wanted long term, you looked for me. We rose to the top at the same time, SGW bred superstars and all...Just a shame Brett dropped the ball. When he lost the belt, Val Venis hit rock bottom big time.

[[ Trish nods. ]]

Trish Stratus: He lost the following week to THE CAT!

Christian: Who the hell is the Cat?

[[ Scene cuts to where we see Ernest Miller and Sonny Ono. ]]

The Cat: Yeah, I whupped that chump's ass in my debut in nEDubya! Some big deal he was! He was no match for 'da three-time karate champyun!

Sonny Ono: YES! YES! Val Venis garbage! He no good! Sour milk! No good!

[[ Fade over to Paul Heyman. ]]

Paul Heyman: When I created nEw in 2002, I was wanting to best superstars to come together. Like SGW before it, I wanted nEw to represent what wrestling was all about. I had all the brightest stars..I had the Impact Players, Steve Austin, Shannon Moore, Evan Karagias...And Val Venis.

[[ Heyman looks disappoint and he rubs the top of his head. ]]

Paul Heyman: I tried negotiating with Edge and Christian, but I couldn't get them. Christian was my pick for the first-ever nEw Champion. I wanted the belt to have some prestige behind it.

[[ He sighs. ]]

Paul Heyman: But I couldn't get them, so I had to put it on Venis. In retrospect, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

[[ He pauses and replies shortly after finishing his last sentence. ]]

Paul Heyman: So was the Titanic back in 1912 as well...But screw Venis, at least I got to put the belt on Jarrett. That made everyone forget the reign everyone forgets.

[[ Heyman looks off camera, to the producer. ]]

Paul Heyman: That son of a bitch lost it his first defense! I mean, for Christ's sake, losing the belt the first time you defend it is just insanity! What kind of paper champion loses the World title that quick?

[[ You heard the producer vaguely say Venis' name and Heyman nods. ]]

Paul Heyman: Got me there...I feel bad for him. Stacy Keibler is hot, but him picking a fight with Edge is like running in front of a speeding train.

[[ He pauses. ]]

Paul Heyman: Or giving Ric Flair a World title and expecting him to defend it.

[[ Fade back to Edge and Stacy. ]]

Stacy Keibler: I don't know about you Edge, but so far, if I was Val Venis, I'd be pretty embarrassed.

Edge: Pff, embarrassed...If I was Val Venis right now, I'd be looking for a way to avoid Sunday. He's been building his entire career on goof-ups and being second-best...And at Supremacy, Stacy...As they saying goes, somethings just never change...And Val Venis' lucky is one of those things. As it seems so far, Val Venis is the type of guy that brings a knife to a gun fight.

Stacy Keibler: A knife to a gun fight would just be stupid.

Edge: Exactly my point. Val Venis can bring the biggest knife he has on Sunday night, but when I pull out my bazooka and blow him away, I'll make him regret ever trying to be some type of big deal by picking a fight with me. He's trying to make this into a war...And like the war in Iraq right now, it's one that won't be won. Period.

[[ Edge brings Stacy close, they kiss. ]]

Edge: Val Venis is all but..."Ended." I have you, and we together have crazy, twisted, illegal sex every night..The entire world saw what I did to Bischoff, even Val sat there, handcuffed to that sign..He watched his best friend's head get stomped like a bug! That's EXACTLY what I'll do to what's left of that thing he calls a career! I'LL CRUSH IT INTO OBLIVION!

Stacy Keibler: Careful, he'll end you.

Edge: Yeah...End me..Original. It was like Vince Russo was sitting down, writing out gimmicks for people one night, and he had writer's block for a cacthphrase for Venis...Well...And writer's block for a gimmick. Val Venis is totally ' Generic Heel 2431.' He's about exciting as a turtle race, and will 'end' me right about time Ray Charles can tell me what time it is.

Stacy Keibler: Ray Charles is blind.

Edge: I rest my case.

[[ Across the screen flashes "I Will End You!" in white letters on a black background. It fades slowly and we see Vince Russo sitting in a chair, preparing to be interviewed. He rubs his beard and speaks. ]]

Vince Russo: I don't know what 'da big deal is 'bout Val's catchphrase. I was sittin' back one night, tryin' to write material for that piece'a shit, and that's all I could come up with. I mean, for Christ's sake, it's Val god damn Venis! A forma' porn star turned bad ass for no god damn reason! What the hell else am I supposed to do? Huh? You think of a betta' catchphrase for someone like Venis and I'll kiss your ass!

[[ He looks serious. ]]

Vince Russo: No lie. Anything betta', and I'll flat out get on my knees, Stacy Keibla' style and KISS YOUR ASS!

[[ He throws his arms in the air. ]]

Vince Russo: It sounded like a great idea at 'da time.

[[ He shrugs. ]]

Vince Russo: Shitty catchphrase for a shitty wrestla'. So what? I fuckin' hate Val Venis! Sue me.

[[ He looks into the camera. ]]

Vince Russo: Kiddin' Hogan. Don't sue me no more, you big, bald, son of a bitch!

[[ Russo looks around. ]]

Vince Russo: Am I done?

[[ No answer. He looks around some more. ]]

Vince Russo: What? I admitted to intentionally fuckin' Venis ova' with a shitty gimmick, I'm tired of talkin' 'bout that faggot.

[[ He just gets up and walks off camera. The scene changes to Tomko sitting there. This should be interesting since Tomko is a man of many, many words. You can hear the producer ask Tomko a question to get the interview rolling. ]]

Producer: Ok Tomko, tell us what you think of the "I will end you" line of Val's.

[[ Tomko looks in deep thought. He grunts. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...Sucks.

Producer: What about Val? Do you think he sucks?

[[ Tomko rubs his long beard and responds promptly. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...Hmm...Yep.

[[ Tomko seems done I guess. He said what he had to say and that's all. From Tomko it flashes to Trevor Murdoch..Wait a second, yes, I did say Trevor Murdoch. He spits a wad of spit in his cup, tobacco juice flows down his lip..It's very disgusting. ]]

Trevor Murdoch: Well I reckon Val Venis' don't need no catchphase to win matches. He's a right fine 'rassler.

[[ Murdoch spits one more time, listening to the producer off stage. ]]

Trevor Murdoch: Oh, this ain't the Val Venis support dvd? This is the anti one?

[[ Murdoch nods. ]]

Trevor Murdoch: Val Venis once got caught messin' wit'one ah my pigs. That poor piggy was a hollerin'. Lord I apologize, but I let that pig continue fuckin' Venis. It was right funny.

[[ He looks over. ]]

Trevor Murdoch: Val has sex with one of mah pigs...Better?

[[ He looks satisfied. ]]

Trevor Murdoch: Good. Thank ye' very much.

[[ From there, the scene fades to black and on the screen now flashes "Val Goes to AWE." That caption lowers and Christian and Trish retake the view. ]]

Christian: AWE..It was a short company. Paul Heyman was at it again, thought he could make magic twice like with nEw. But let me tell you, AWE was a train wreck. I mean, hell, TAZ was the World Champion...Yes, THAT Taz!

Trish Stratus: But yeah, we come in, as does Val and his entourage..And from day one it's obvious Val's not going anywhere near the top.

Christian: So me being the man I am, I let him be my lackey. We formed The Standard, because I was the Standard of professional wrestling, and Val Venis set the standard for making me look good. It was a great time. I mean, who couldn't enjoy someone like Val Venis, just following you around, singing your praises, interferring in your matches, and even being in the position that he'd take a bullet for you?

Trish Stratus: You put it like that, sounds like Val's gay.

Christian: I'd be happy to be my lackey too.

Trish Stratus: No, the other GAY.

Christian: Oh.

[[ He shrugs, dismissing Trish's claim. ]]

Christian: Who knows? Murdoch did say he had sex with a pig.

Trish Stratus: Eww!

Christian: Yep.

[[ Scene fades back to Edge and Stacy, who both look disturbed by the previous segments. ]]

Edge: A pig?

Stacy Keibler: He wasn't getting anything off me, that's for sure.

Edge: I've heard that desperate times call for desperate measures but that's just WRONG!

[[ Stacy nods. ]]

Edge: So far it seems as though Val Venis hasn't been living the career he wants you to believe he has. He's always been the second-rate wrestler, lackey, and a fraud. He's only found success because people like me weren't in the same company as him. I guess pushing Val Venis is a prmoter's way of donating to charity. I'll push Val's career Sunday night.

Stacy Keibler: How?

Edge: I'll push his career, and himself RIGHT OFF THE LADDER ONTO THE GROUND! For once in his life he's trying to gain a measure of revenge for the years of the mockery, the humiliation, and the overshadowing he's endured from me and Christian. He wants you back. He wants people to take him seriously. Val Venis will be taken seriously the day I DIE!

[[ Edge yields an intense look. He's so angry you believe you can see steam coming from his ears. ]]

Edge: Val Venis wants to get whatever's inside the mystery box because he heard there was a big bag of talent in there. But the only way he'll know what's exactly is in that box, is when he watches me bring it down from the top of the arena after I've beaten him into a bloody pulp in our match. He's making this out of a war, doing sneak attacks...And me, I'm going to finish the war off once and for all with an reenactment of Hiroshima...On Sunday night, I'l going to drop the ATOMIC BOMB ALL OVER VENIS' CAREER AND LIFE!

Stacy Keibler: Good.

Edge: Speaking of bags..Didn't Venis smoke a joint with RVD once?

[[ Stacy rolls her eyes. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Yes...Idiot.

[[ Scene switches to Rob Van Dam, who is noticeablly high off his rocker. ]]

Rob Van Dam: Yeah dude, me and Val smoked it up once before a match. I tell you, Val Venis is a professional and inhaling if you know what I mean.

[[ Silly Rob and his innuendos. ]]

Rob Van Dam: There's no such thing as puff, puff, pass when dealing with Val. Bro, we used to get high all the time. I bought the dime sack from him once before a show..And it had all stems in it.

[[ Rob looks frustrated looking back on that. ]]

Rob Van Dam: Dude...He ripped me off..I ought to kick his ass.

[[ Fade back to Edge and Stacy. ]]

Edge: Val Venis, the pot head..Makes perfect sense.

Stacy Keibler: Peer pressure.

[[ Edge looks to the camera. ]]

Edge: Kids, say no to drugs. Look at me, this is you not on drugs...Look at Val Venis, and that's you on drugs. Not even a comparison. When you do drugs, you put yourself into situations you can't get yourself out of...

[[ Edge smiles into the camera. Edge not only is a defender of women, but he sends a good message to the kids. Good man indeed. ]]

Edge: Like getting your ass kicked by a far superior MAN!

[[ Edge looks back into the camera and sarcastically speaks. ]]

Edge: Like your buddy Taz says..."Smoke me if you can, Val..Get high if I let you!"

Stacy Keibler: Idiots.

[[ We go from our hosts to the usual black screen. "SGWx" is on it and we fade to Jim Cornette. This should be interesting and controversial. ]]

James E. Cornette: I joined up with Christian at the start of SGDubya x, and we were gonna' win a World title. Lot of competition there, Ric Flair, that banana-nosed bastard was undefeated til Christian got a hold of 'em..Taz, til Christian flipped his damn stretcher over...Steve Corino, Christian was gonna' kick his ass in the finals of the tournament and take that title..And Val Venis, which can be argued as competition.

[[ Cornette pushes up his glasses and continues his estatic rant. ]]

James E. Cornette: The most noteable thing Val did in Solid Gold was powerbombin' Taz through a flamin' table at the orders of Arn Anderson. Of course Val did it, 'cause all Val Venis is good at is suckin' dick, and boy howdy was he ridin' Arn's dick like a damn cowboy!..So he powerbombs that street thug jobber through that table, Taz is dead, nobody cares..He thinks he's some hot shot.

[[ Cornette pauses to catch his breath. ]]

James E. Cornette: He really thought he did somethin' til we got there. We saw Taz being loaded to the ambulance. Christian sees his chance to end the career of a legend, and he FLIPS THAT SONUVABITCH OVER! TAZ LANDS ON HIS FUCKIN' FACE! And now all people's talkin' bout is how Christian is the man responsible for endin' the career of the almighty Taz!

[[ Cornette laughs like a hyenia. ]]

James E. Cornette: Val Venis...Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

[[ He pauses to add something else. ]]

James E. Cornette: And a cocksuckin' piece of shit! Horrible wrestler, horrible on the mic. He's a god damn walkin' condum ad if you ask me. Porn star my ass. The only thing Val Venis is good for is receiving things up his ass! In my opinion, Val Venis has has more boots up his ass than dicks...But that's not by many!

[[ Cornette looks satisfied with his rant. ]]

James E. Cornette: SGDubya x was a lot of fun, some good times. Val Venis was stopped short of becomin' a big deal..Looks like deja vu is fixin' to hit his ass again come Sunday night. Ol' Edge is gonna' mess his world up! Val Venis is writin' checks he can't cash by tryin' to get even with Edge! Edge wanted to fuck my wife, I'd let him! I'm gonna' sit back and let him hammer my wife! 'Cause he ain't worth fightin'! Val Venis is goofy! Plum goofy!

[[ Cornette shakes his head and is breathing heavily. What a rant. ]]

James E. Cornette: I guess that's all I got besides the fact that Val sucks. He knows he does! He's been there doin' all that dumb shit over his career!

[[ Fade back to Edge. ]]

Edge: Leave it to Cornette to explain it all.

Stacy Keibler: Before SGWx, we went to RW. Val won the Elite title, but of course quickly lost it.

Edge: Anyone from RW we could interview?

Stacy Keibler: Nope, there never was any consistency there. No one knew who was running the joint, or who was even in the company!

Edge: So he added another World title to his resume?

Stacy Keibler: It couldn't be called a legitimate World title, because well, RW was garbage.

Edge: That is true...Triple H did succeed there.

Stacy Keibler: But when you and Christian took a break from wrestling to relax, he thought you died in a car crash.

[[ Edge looks curious. ]]

Stacy Keibler: So he started dedicating everything to you guys, heck, he even CRIED!

Edge: ...

[[ Edge looks startled. ]]

Edge: That's just scary. Hence why Val Venis won himself a World title. Without me around to make sure travesties like that don't occur, they do. Which is why I'm here now...And now...Val Venis will not win another title the rest of his career! All my career, Val Venis has done everything in his power to try to make a name for himself as one of the elites in this business. He's sat on top of the wrestling mountain, but as soon as he starts to sitdown, someone like me yanks that seat right out from under him, and he free falls back to bottom..That's what I'm going to do! He's going to sit, and I'm going to push him off the mountain top for good!

[[ Edge stares seductively at Stacy. ]]

Edge: Edge, always overshadowing Val Venis..Always one-uping him..Like it's not even a big deal.

[[ He kisses Stacy, she tugs at his bottom lip with hers. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Because it's not.

Edge: Not even close.

[[ Edge lets go of Stacy and looks back into the camera. ]]

Edge: And everyone remembers League of Champions ran by Ricky Steamboat..In it, Val Venis tried being as zany as Steve Austin. Doing ridiculous stunts. Jeff Jarrett was luckily the man who put him back in his place during that time.

Stacy Keibler: He blew up Steamboat's office with dynamite!

Edge: I know.

Stacy Keibler: He could have killed us and everyone in that building! Then he used a monster truck! Did Adam and Eve promos everyone makes fun of him about! LoC was one of those eras in his life he wishes he could forget!

Edge: Like this run in Solid Gold then?

Stacy Keibler: Has to.

[[ Stacy smiles at Edge as the scene cuts. ]]

[[ We fade to Ricky Steamboat and beside him is Dusty Rhodes for the LoC portion of Val's career. ]]

Ricky Steamboat: Val Venis came into LoC from the beginning and was in the finals with Ric Flair of the Gauntlet for the Gold for the World title. He was a solid superstar and a great asset. His only downfall though, was how over-the-top he started to act. He was trying to be the Stone Cold Steve Austin of 2005 in LoC.

[[ Steamboat continues. ]]

Ricky Steamboat: He wasn't threatening or anything, until he broke into my office, used DYNAMITE, and BLEW MY OFFICE UP just to open a safe with the nEw and SGW titles in them. All he had to do was use the combination on the side of the safe.

[[ He shakes his head, like he doesn't even believe it. ]]

Ricky Steamboat: I don't know what got into him. I mean, that behavior was just downright insane. All that damage, putting people in harm, just to steal two belts he'd lose the next week to Jeff Jarrett. Suppose that shows the intelligence of Venis.

Dusty Rhodes: Wicky, I's gon stop ya' right there, daddy..You can't forget 'da night Val Venis and 'da Fo' Horsemen re-assembled in Leage'O Champyuns..Val Venis did the most over-the-top act in'rasslin' history by runnin' Arn Anderson and Paul Birchill ova' with a purple monster truck limousine!

Ricky Steamboat: That is true.

Dusty Rhodes: 'Da license plate even said "WILLENDU" and everything! Val Venis is just funky like a munky, if you wheel! He knew he wasn't eva' gettin'a that, that, ten pounds of gold 'round his waist...So he had to do somethin' to try to get the attention to'em!

[[ Steamboat agrees with Dusty, backing up his statement. ]]

Ricky Steamboat: But Ric quit that night, vacating the World title over to Jeff Jarrett, and that stole all the thunder from Val.

Dusty Rhodes: Poor Val Venis, he ain't neva' gettin' ah break off 'at Kit-Kat bar if you wheel!

[[ Steamboat shakes his head, agreeing with Dusty. ]]

[[ Black screen appears and on it says "Edge versus. Val Venis." From there is fades to Matt Hardy of all people. ]]

Matt Hardy: I've been in this situation before with Edge. He ruined my only chance of having kids, of having a family..He destroyed my happiness and my life.

[[ Hardy cringes, he's full of rage. ]]

Matt Hardy: I made it my one mission to do to Adam Copeland, what he did to me...Which was DESTROY HIM!

[[ Matt Hardy looks down. ]]

Matt Hardy: I did everything Venis is doing. I did the sneak attacks, the jumpings..But when I came down to the match.

[[ He shakes his head. ]]

Matt Hardy: I got my ass kicked.

[[ Matt looks into the camera, his eyes show a man who learned his lesson. ]]

Matt Hardy: Val, it's not worth it..Get out while you can.

[[ He stops, still looking, sending a message to Val. ]]

Matt Hardy: Trust me, I know, Val.

[[ Fade from a saddened Matt Hardy back to Edge. ]]

Edge: Val, don't think I've forgotten the one person who knows us both very well. The girl you introduced me to all those years ago..And helped me develop into the man I am today.

[[ He knows he's got Val. ]]

Edge: Just goes to show the women in your life hate you, and LOVE ME!

[[ We fade to Edge's ex-wife and Val Venis' sister. ]]

Alanah Morley: Sean introduced us and Adam and I hit it off from the get-go. I remember him telling me Adam was a good guy, that'd he treat me right.

[[ Tears start to come around her eyes. ]]

Alanah Morley: Adam and I were happily married. I was in love. He was great in bed, we were financially set. I was happy.

[[ She rubs her eyes with a tissue. Her voice is cracking. ]]

Alanah Morley: Adam and I get divorced. It was bitter. Adam Copeland is a horrible, lowly, disgusting individual. And I blame no one for the failed married except...SEAN MORLEY!

[[ Boom~! ]]

Alanah Morley: What an idiot.

[[ She seems angry. ]]

Alanah Morley: So during their stupid match...I hope Sean Morley dies! Well...I hope Adam does too, but Sean before Adam!

[[ She shakes her head, you kind of feel bad for her. ]]

Alanah Morley: Sean Morley is such a moron. Leading me into a failed marriage with a womanizer...Acting like he's a legitimate bad ass..Ugh, sometimes I wonder if he's not just straight up retarded.

[[ Cut back to Edge, who is smiling a smile so bright, Vegas is lit for a week. ]]

Edge: OUCH!

Stacy Keibler: She wants you to die!

Edge: Yes, and rightfully so...But she wants Val to die first, and well, since he's her brother, I'll take that as a moral victory.

[[ Stacy agrees. ]]

Edge: See Val, even your own FAMILY wants you to die! On Sunday, I'll become the biggest hero when I make your career like a chairshot at a Japanese wrestling show...OVER!

[[ Edge runs his hand through his hair, removing it from his eyes. ]]

Edge: You're always the one making the bad decisions. You set your lovely sister, your flesh and blood, up for a heartbreak. You knew the type of man I am! You made a bad decision then, and it's a running theme throughout your career...But now, now you've made the SINGLE WORST BAD DECISION OF YOUR LIFE! It's so major, that Val...It's going to cost you your LIFE! Setting your sister up with me is one thing, doing stupid promos about how you're going to end Jesus is another...But calling me out...Big mistake..And you'll pay for your actions on Supremacy!

[[ He looks so focused. ]]

Edge: I don't give a damn about what's in the box. It could be the World title, it could be Gary Coleman...Whatever it is, doesn't matter to me. All I'm worried about is doing what people have been trying to do for years..And that's END the 'almighty' Val Venis. And when the smoke settles...I'll be able to say MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

[[ With that chilling comment, we cut to Cornette again. ]]

James E. Cornette: Hell no I don't think Val Venis has a chance against Edge! This shit's got to be illegal! Edge is going to rock that idiot's world again! I wouldn't be surprised if ol' Venis doesn't survive that match! And if he does he'll die soon after in the hospital!

[[ To Tomko now. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...He's screwed.

[[ To Christian and Trish. ]]

Trish Stratus: Edge is going to want to lay low after Supremacy. Go to a safe house or a friend's house.

Christian: 'Cause he's gonna' be wanted for murder!

[[ Christian and Trish chuckle. Scene fades back to Money Inc. ]]

Johnny the Bull: Venis beatin' Edge? Heh, fuhghettaboutit!

Ted DiBiase: Not going to happen.

[[ IRS nods in agreement. Fade over to The Cat and Sonny Ono. ]]

Sonny Ono: YES! VENIS SCREWED LIKE STACY KEIBLER! YES!

The Cat: SOMEBODY BETTA' CALL MAH MOMMA'! 'CAUSE VAL VENIS' GETTIN' WHUPPED!

[[ Back to Trevor Murdoch. ]]

Trevor Murdoch: Val Venis has as much of a chance ah winnin' as Stevie Wonder does of tellin' me what time it is..Oh Lord I apologize for 'at 'en!

[[ He looks like he's ashamed. ]]

Trevor Murdoch: Val Venis is like a blind man with no hands tryin' to read the brail menu at a restaurant..

[[ And no one knows what he means by that comment, but he seems satisfied. ]]

[[ Now to the RTC. ]]

Steven Richards: My, my, my..Edge versus Val Venis in a ladder match? I will assure you the Right to censor, Ms. Ivory and I, will do everything in our power to make sure this does not air on television!

Ivory: For it is sure to be a massacre. We will remember Mr. Venis for all his efforts and contributions to the RTC.

[[ Richards puts his hand to his mouth, silent, remembering Venis. Fade back to Edge and Stacy. ]]

Edge: Val Venis, the previous showing was your history lesson. You could have been a big star in this industry, one to be remembered for the ages like yours truly..Instead, you destroyed your own legacy. And at Six-String Supremacy, I'm going to be the man to finish your career for good! All your career, you've attempted to step into my league and act like you belong, when you really don't. Something always comes up and you get sent back down to the minors! And I GUARANTEE Venis, the same ordeal will be your fate on Sunday night in the ladder match.

[[ Stacy stares down her new man, looking like she wants him. ]]

Edge: Your past doesn't like, Val. You're always going to be overshadowed. Your achievements, your wins, is just stuff that people won't remember. You will always be remembered as the man who tried just a little too hard to get noticed...And that's what they'll say at your FUNERAL! Because you're making this into something you can't get out of. It's too late to turn back...In the ladder match, someone's going to die..And Val, EDGE WILL NOT DIE!

[[ Edge looks anxious to continue. ]]

Edge: So enjoy your final week on Earth. Because being the lackey you are, you're going to follow in your friends' footsteps..You're SCREWED like Stacy..And after the match on Sunday, you'll be DEAD like Bischoff! And that's thanks to ME, the RATED R SUPERSTAR!

[[ He smiles a devlish smile, looking ver sadistic. He brings Stacy close. ]]

Edge: Like a dog that has been ran over but is still alive...I'll do the right thing to your career...I'll put it out of its damn misery!

[[ Stacy rubs Edge's chest. ]]

Edge: Get ready Val...Because..

I WILL END YOU!

[[ Edge brings Stacy in and kisses her. Val Venis, you got to know you're done for now. ]]

Edge: Val Venis losing...Heh, that's something you can BANK ON!

[[ He grins as Stacy rubs on Edge again. The scene fades to black. ]]

[[ Boom. ]]

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade out. ]]

|| Scott Smith - GOAT - Greatest of All Time ||