Welcomed to Main Event:

- Triple H
- Stevie Richards
- Blue Meanie
- Vampiro
- Val Venis(2)
- Amy Love
- Rob Van Dam
- Chris Benoit(2)
- Dean Malenko
- Kevin Nash(2)
- Steve Austin
- Shawn Michaels(2)
- Ken Kennedy/ Big Show
- Chavo Guerrero Jr
- Maria
- The Undertaker
- Spirit Squad

' Death '

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]

[[ The scene opens up inside of the locker room of what's left of the Christian Coalition after Stroke has gone off the air. Jim Cornette sits in a chair in the room with an ice pack to his head and a towel covered in blood pressed against his mouth. Trish stands over him, rubbing his shoulders. Tomko guards the door, arms crossed. ]]

Trish Stratus: How are you feeling?

[[ Cornette looks fuming angry as he takes the towel away from his mouth, observing the blood. ]]

James E. Cornette: Dammit Trish, look at me. I look like shit.

Trish Stratus: You always do.

[[ The attempt of comedic timing falls on deaf ears. ]]

James E. Cornette: Look at this shit, Trish! Look at this fuckin' SHIT!

[[ He slaps his ice pack off his head and looks at the towel and shows it to Trish. He points with his free hand to the blood stains. ]]

James E. Cornette: Trish, I ain't no god damn wrestler. I'm a manager, I'm a loud mouth asshole..I ain't a wrestler. Given, I probably have more talent in the ring that half the fuckin' roster, but I aint' a trained wrestler.

Trish Stratus: I know, Jim.

James E. Cornette: This shit has gone on for too long. Jarrett's already got his precious revenge from us outsmartin' him at Supremacy. He's done a damn fine job of turnin' SGDubya back into a shitty promotion. But this here Trish, this is blood coming from my mouth, after I was assaulted while being held against my will.

[[ Cornette is PISSED. ]]

James E. Cornette: Your broken nose..Uncalled for.

[[ Trish rubs her nose, grimacing in pain. ]]

James E. Cornette: God damn Christian gettin' the Awesome bomb on the limo, sufferin' a concussion, then bein' booked to defend the Tag titles the next week...Then, you and I have to step in and fight for 'em, because why?

[[ Cornette acts like he remembers something. ]]

James E. Cornette: Oh yeah..CHRISTIAN GOT POWERBOMBED THROUGH THE GOD DAMN STAGE!

[[ Cornette spikes the towel on the ground and stands up. ]]

James E. Cornette: And now, when we've all suffered our fair share of abuse..Been bullied around by Russo and Jarrett, watched the whole morale of the company sink to an all-time low..Not this low since the era of the original Val Venis push along with the Apokolyps screwjob!

[[ Trish shudders. ]]

James E. Cornette: You were here for that shit. I was watchin' it on television. It was shit..

[[ Trish throws her arms up, taking a step back. ]]

Trish Stratus: Hey..No arguement here.

James E. Cornette: And now that cocaine snortin' bastard wants me to fight in a match against Low-Ki, Senshi, whatever the hell he wants to go by this week..Trish, this is gettin' ri-god damn-diculous! It's got to stop. This shit has to end.

Trish Stratus: Jim, I know, I know. Body Count's next week, Edge is going to take care of Randy Orton.

Tyson Tomko: ..Yep.

[[ Tomko nods. ]]

James E. Cornette: I know that much..But I'm worried about not dyin' in this match against Senshi. I've seen that little shit kick. He looks small but he's got a voice like god damn James Earl Ray!

Trish Stratus: The guy who killed Martin Luther King, Jr?

[[ Trish cocks an eyebrow. Cornette shakes his head no. ]]

James E. Cornette: Hell no!

Trish Stratus: You mean James Earl Jones, the voice of Darth Vader?

James E. Cornette: Who the hell ever!

[[ Cornette frantically nods. ]]

James E. Cornette: I'M GONNA' GET EATEN ALIVE BY THAT SHIT!

Trish Stratus: Maybe not.

James E. Cornette: Thanks for the positive outlook Trish, but I'm going die in the ring.

[[ Cornette grabs the bloody towel and wipes his mouth again. ]]

James E. Cornette: If Christian, Taz, and Taz's ashes can all be destroyed..Hell knows I can. Putting me in the ring is like puttin' a mic in front of the old Michael Shane we had in SGDubya..A god damn car wreck waitin' to happen! It'll be fucked up six ways from Tuesday, Trish!

Trish Stratus: Snap out of it, Jim. Seriously, you're going to be fine on Stroke. You have Edge, Tomko, and myself to watch your back.

[[ Tomko gives a reassuring nod. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ..Yep.

James E. Cornette: This is gonna' be bad. I just know it will.

[[ The scene fades. ]]

[[ We open with Jim Cornette standing behind a white brick wall inside of some sort of building. He's wearing a red jacket with a green shirt. He looks right into the camera looking pissed. ]]

James E. Cornette: Senshi, listen up. I know I ain't the man who you expected to be facin' in your SGDubya debut, and I'm sure as hell not excited about this coming weekend by no damn means. But I got to do what I got to do to survive this dumb shit that's goin' on in Solid Gold right now.

[[ He rubs his chin and continues. ]]

James E> Cornette: I ain't had a whole lot of wrestling experience, but I've spent a lot of time in the spotlight, in the rings in and out of cities you ain't never been in! I've been in the rings with the Ric Flairs, the Von Erics, the Fabulous Freebirds..And Senshi, you ain't nothin' but a little indy league piece of SHIT!

[[ Cornette's talking big for being his size. ]]

James E. Cornette: Son, I'm as close to a main event rub as you're ever gonna' get in this company. I ain't no wrestler, but I sure as hell know how to swing a tennis racket. Ol' Lulu's gonna' get brought out this Saturday night and by god I'm going to crack your skull with it! This little match of ours, if that's what you even want to call it, it sure as hell ain't gonna' be a five-star classic by no means...It's goin' to be me fighting for survival..It's gonna' be Jim Cornette gettin' the shit kicked out of 'em thanks to Jeff Jarrett!

[[ Cornette looks sternly at us. His blood is boiling. ]]

James E. Cornette: By hook or by crook, I'm gonna' win this match. I don't know how yet, but with the best damn superstar in SGDubya right now, Edge, and the problem solver Tyson Tomko by my side..I'll be damned Senshi if some little shit who ain't got real ring gear, and the only fuckin' move in his arsenal is a kick, is gonna' get away with a win over James E. Cornette!

[[ Fade. ]]

[[ Fade up inside of a car. Cornette is driving, Trish is riding shotgun. Edge, Stacy, and Tomko are in the backseat. ]]

Edge: Where are you taking us, Cornette?

James E. Cornette: I can't tell.

Edge: Evidently you didn't hear me, Corny.

[[ Cornette slams the steering wheel, knowing he has to let Edge know. ]]

James E. Cornette: Dammit..We're going to a funeral home to pick out a casket.

Edge: Are you serious? You're going this route with the match?

James E. Cornette: What are you talkin' about?

Edge: Your means of talking smack about this match is going to get a casket for Senshi?

[[ Edge cracks a smile. ]]

Edge: You really are an old school guy aren't you?

James E. Cornette: It's not for Senshi.

Edge: Is this some of this old school method of thought, like your thought process of, "if you put someone in a box, it'll instantly get over?"

Trish Stratus: Yeah, Chainsaw Charlie almost ruined Terry Funk's career.

James E. Cornette: GOD DAMMIT! THE CASKET IS FOR ME! CHAINSAW CHARLIE WAS A GREAT IDEA! THE BOX DID FUCKIN' GET HIS OLD ASS OVER!

[[ Cornette slams the wheel again. ]]

Edge: Why are you buying a cakset for? You're not going anywhere.

Trish Stratus: Nope. If you were going to die, I think you'd already passed on when you were in jail.

Tyson Tomko: ..Both times.

James E. Cornette: You got a point.

[[ Edge leans up from the back against Trish's seat. ]]

Edge: I swear to you, Cornette, you're going to be fine. You're going to win on Stroke, and we're going into Body Count to finish what Jeff Jarrett's started. This is just more stupid punishment for us being fed up with what's going on in SGW. Each of us is getting punished...But I promise you, Jim...Nothing's going to happen to you.

James E. Cornette: Senshi's not gonna' kick my ass?

Edge: Nope. Now, you'll most likely be kicked by him...

[[ Cornette frowns. ]]

Edge: ...A lot.

[[ Cornette sighs. ]]

Edge: But no, you're not going to get your ass kicked as long as I'm in the building.

Trish Stratus: As long as we're all in the building.

Tyson Tomko: ..Yep.

Edge: We've overcame too much lately to get beaten by some hack that never made it to the big times because Jarrett thought it'd be funny to watch you wrestle. We've overcome all the odds, and dammit Cornette, this week will be no different. We're in it together, all of us.

James E. Cornette: But he's gonna' kick the shit out of me...Literally.

Edge: Yeah, nothing we can do to get around that except maybe get you a chest protector like D'Lo.

James E. Cornette: Only one?

Edge: We'll find you something..Now turn this vehicle around. We're not getting you a casket because you're not going anywhere.

[[ Cornette turns the car around and starts heading back in the opposite direction. The scene fades. ]]

[[ The scene cuts back to the white brick wall with Edge now standing in front of it. Edge rubs his hands through his hair and speaks into the camera. ]]

Edge: Jeff Jarrett, is this how you get your kicks? Is this how a power hungry guy like you works and works to end up getting rid of anyone who may oppose you so you can control everything? Putting a manager in a match with a legitimate opponent?

[[ Edge shakes his head, almost disgusted. ]]

Edge: Ever since you've resurfaced at World Warrior, you've done done but try to get your revenge on Christian and I. I give you credit, Jarrett...You took out Christian, you broke Trish's nose..You've tried stacking the plate against all of us, but what you've done this week is just toping everything.

[[ Edge pauses. ]]

Edge: At least Trish is a trained wrestler...But hey, that's fine, no problem. Senshi, Senshi's going to try to end up being your little hired gun to finish taking out Cornette, leaving it down to just me to battle you..But the funny thing about everything Jarrett, is that on Stroke, your little plan is going to backfire right in your face.

[[ Confidence overcomes Edge as he continues. ]]

Edge: Senshi is tough, a respected independent superstar...But serious, Jeff..Think about it. You put Cornette and Trish in a match against all the members of the Spirit Squad and they won. You've tried punishing me with various forms of matches and I've won. Senshi doesn't have a chance of getting the job done on Stroke...Unless it's the legitimately job, and then he'll get it done.

[[ Edge stares into the camera. ]]

Edge: If Senshi is the biggest competitor you can think of to try to get rid of Cornette, then you're in for a rude awakening, Jarrett. The bloody feuds in the 80s couldn't get rid of Cornette. Having to manage Vader wasn't enough to get rid of Cornette. Cornette is a tough, loud mouthed, son of a bitch. I've seen him take care of himself when the time's come for it, and this week on Stroke will be no different..So Jeff, Senshi..

[[ Edge smirls into the camera. ]]

Edge: Don't get your hopes up.

[[ Scene fades. ]]

[[ Fade up inside of the Waffle House. We see the five members sitting down in a booth eating, obviously, pancakes and other various breakfast foods. Isn't it something how they don't even bother tending to Christian? ]]

James E. Cornette: I'm glad I ain't pickin' no pine box out. Knowin' you're not dyin' makes the day go by a whole lot better.

Trish Stratus: And besides, Jim..Think about all the brawls you've gotten in so far. You punched out David Hasslehoff during spring break..You punched the Emcee for the wet t-shirt contest the same day..You tried fighting the police in Japan in the strip club..

Edge: And they did fire you from up North for viciously slapping Modecai.

James E. Cornette: Mordecai deserved it. God dammit, you gotta' be afraid of the Boogeyman!

Tyson Tomko: ..Right.

James E. Cornette: Well hell, if I've done all of that, then what's keepin' me back from whippin' Low Ki's ass?

Tyson Tomko: ..Senshi.

[[ Cornette rolls his eyes. ]]

James E. Cornette: Whoever it is he decides to pop up as on Saturday night is gonna' get the same ass kickin' no matter what!

Edge: Yeah, I mean, everybody knows you're going to beat him and humiliate him in some fashion, or we wouldn't be in the damn Waffle House eating food and talking about the match.

[[ Trish nods and speaks up. ]]

Trish Stratus: Yeah, and we'd not even be halfway done with this promo.

Edge: That's true.

James E. Cornette: I don't like thinkin' about havin' the shit kicked out of me by that little puke, but in the end, it's all gonna' work out. Everything as of late's been backfirin' in Jarrett's face, and I know this idea of his has to bomb too..At least..

[[ Cornette swallows hard. ]]

James E. Cornette: I sure hope to God it does.

Trish Stratus: Jim, you're going to win.

[[ Edge takes a drink of his orange juice and reassures Trish's comment. ]]

Edge: Yeah, seriously Jim...You're facing Senshi. We all know he's either not going to show up and miss the deadline, or become the next jobber to the stars...So it's not like he's going to have a spectacular career in Solid Gold. So hell, we may as well go ahead and count this match as a win on the win streak...Which is at thirty-six by the way. So no pressure, Cornette.

James E. Cornette: It ain't gonna' be pretty, but I guess I can get the job done.

Edge: Senshi has as much of a chance of winning as David Flair does of even seeing the main event.

[[ Cornette smiles big. ]]

James E. Cornette: Well goddamn! If that's the case then I ain't got a thing to worry about! That's the kind of stuff I like hearin'!

Edge: We're going to once again stick it to Jeff Jarrett, this weke by taking out his deep voiced jobber. And that's just something you can...

BANK ON!

James E. Cornette: Good.

[[ The group continues eating. ]]

Edge: Is this syrup not good or what?

Trish Stratus: Very.

Tyson Tomko: ...Yep.

James E. Cornette: I'm glad I ain't dyin'.

Stacy Keibler: Me too, Jim. I mean, if you died, who'd watch me and Edge have sex on a consistent basis?

[[ Tomko becomes honest. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ..Me.

[[ Everyone at the table laughs a very cheesy laugh. ]]

[[ Not even worried about the match..Because that's how I roll. The scene fades. ]]

[[ Fade out. ]]

[[ Static. ]]

Scott Smith || xxscottxsmithxx