Welcomed to Main Event:

- Triple H
- Stevie Richards
- Blue Meanie
- Vampiro
- Val Venis(2)
- Amy Love
- Rob Van Dam
- Chris Benoit(2)
- Dean Malenko
- Kevin Nash(2)
- Steve Austin
- Shawn Michaels(2)
- Ken Kennedy/ Big Show
- Chavo Guerrero Jr
- Maria
- The Undertaker

' Adios Deadman '

[[ Static. ]]

[[ Fade up the SGW logo. ]]

[[ The scene fades up inside of a Japanese jail cell. These are very nice cells, and it's becoming sad that we're getting to see the views of all these countires' different prison systems. Anyway, we see Jim Cornette sitting in his cell, which is totally empty surprisingly. He's sitting down on his bed, leaning foward with his hands holding up his face. ]]

James E. Cornette: Jesus Christ, I just wanted to see some damn tits, this here is what I don't get? If you don't wanna' get grabbed, don't walk by me naked in a damn strip club!

[[ Cornette brings is head up and looks around. ]]

James E. Cornette: Well, I'm bored as hell.

[[ Cornette twiddles his thumbs. ]]

James E. Cornette: I know what I can do..I can sing!

[[ An excited Cornette clears his throat and begins singing. ]]

James E. Cornette: I'M SO EXICTED, DOOP, DOOP, DOOP, AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT!

[[ Cornette does a mock version of the "Carlton" dance. ]]

James E. Cornette: I'M ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL AND I THINK I LIKE IT!

[[ Two Japanese guards walk to the front of his cell looking angry. One just starts yelling ina high pitched Japanese voice. ]]

Japanese Guard: SHAT UP! SHAT UP RIGHT NOWWWWWW!!!

[[ Cornette hops back away from the cell bars. ]]

Japanese Guard: YEW SAH STOOOOPIDD!!!

James E. Cornette: I can pick a god damnnew song, Christ...

Japanese Guard Two: No. Stop singing now!

James E. Cornette: Fuckin' fine.

[[ The guard stops yelling and the other shakes his head. ]]

Japanese Guard Two: Ehdeeyut.

[[ The walk away and Cornette doesn't know what just happened. ]]

James E. Cornette: God dammit, now what will I do?

[[ Cornette shakes it off as the scenes fades. ]]

[[ Fade up as we see Edge with the "Rated R" logo behind him. He's standing there rubbing his hands together wearing a gray tobggin, a gray shirt with the "Headbangers Ball" logo on it, and jeans. His SGW Tag title rests on his left shouylder. He's flashing a super arrogant smile as he stands there with Stacy who is wearing a "Rated R Superstar" shirt, the sleeves cut out and it's low cut at the chest, and a short skirt. ]]

Edge: "I can't believe you did it."

[[ Edge smirks and speaks again. ]]

Edge: "What where you thinking?"

[[ Stacy stops Edge. ]]

Stacy Keibler: You can't forget my favorite one.

Edge: Which one is that?

Stacy Keibler: "Why did you do that?"

[[ Edge laughs and rubs his goatee. ]]

Edge: Those questions is all I've been asked for the last few days. The whole world has been asking me..Why did I do what I did to Val Venis and Kristal? Why did I rape Kristal via drugging?

Stacy Keibler: I don't know!

[[ Stacy shakes her head shrugging. ]]

Edge: The people wanna' know why did I blow it all over Val Venis' face?

[[ Edge smiles and Stacy continues showing no logic to why. ]]

Stacy Keibler: Why Edge? Why did you turn Val Venis into me for one night only? Why did his eye get dotted?

Edge: His eye nothing Stacy..He got the face plant of a century.

[[ Edge laughs. ]]

Edge: It's quite simple if you think about it...I did what I did in that promo, not because I could gain an advantage on the Undertaker...Not because I got the last laugh on the horrible, abortion of a career Val Venis has has..I did it simply..

[[ Edge points to himself. ]]

Edge: BECAUSE I CAN! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT BEING THE RATED R SUPERSTAR IS ALLLLL ABOUT!

Stacy Keibler: Yep.

Edge: It was me letting the Undertaker, letting all of SGW know that I'm more than just Christian's brother, more than just the SGW Tag team champion..That I am a force to be reckoned with in this company. If I did that to Val Venis, the former World champion..Just imagine the damage I'll do to someone like the Undertaker!

[[ Stacy rubs Edge's stomach. ]]

Edge: The Undertaker's been in this business for almost two decades, he's beaten them all, he's done it all..But there's one thing he's not done..And it's one thing he'll NEVER do!

Stacy Keibler: Me.

Edge: No...I was getting at the fact that 'Taker's not going to beat me on Shock.

Stacy Keibler: Oh.

[[ Stacy looks sad. ]]

Edge: So zip it.

[[ Stacy does the zipping motion to her lips, even throwing away the key. ]]

[[ We switch scenes to the front of the jail. We see Christian, Trish, and Tomko exit a taxi and walk towards the entrance. ]]

Trish Stratus: Cornette's got to cut this out.

[[ Tomko nods. ]]

Tyson Tomko: ...Yep.

Christian: We're just going to have to cut extra curricular activities out on his part. He can't handle the pressure of being around sexual oriented things...You'd actually think we'd learned from the spring break incident.

Trish Stratus: That's true.

Christian: So Tomko, why didn't you hold Cornette back or something?

Tyson Tomko: ...No way.

Trish Stratus: Seriously Christian, would you take a dive for Cornette?

[[ Christian thinks it over. ]]

Christian: I don't blame you, Tomko.

[[ Trish opens the door and the three walk in. They approach a guard at the desk. ]]

Japanese Guard: Yes, yes, may I help yew?

Trish Stratus: We're here to bail out an inmate.

Japanese Guard: Name?

Trish Stratus: James E. Cornette.

[[ The guard thinks, trying to remember him. ]]

Christian: He'd be the really white, annoying guy.

Japanese Guard: Hmm..

Christian: He's the guy who sings old eighties American pop songs out of boredom

Japanese Guard: He cuss like sailor?

[[ Tomko, Trish, and Christian all nod. This causes the guard to rub his right hand down his face. ]]

Japanese Guard: Aye, aye, aye...He's crazy.

Tyson Tomko: ..Yep.

Japanese Guard: Okay..You have some..Collateral?

[[ Christian snarls, and Trish sees an opening. ]]

Trish Stratus: Hey Christian, ever seen Collateral?

Christian: Very funny, Trish..Damn that Tom Cruise. I hope he dies.

Japanese Guard: Eh?

Trish Stratus: No, he wants us to put something of value to his bond up saying if he doesn't show up in court they keep it.

[[ Christian reveals the SGW Gimmick title out of no where and lays it on the desk. ]]

Christian: This means nothing to me, but probably a lot to someone less talented and less successful..

Trish Stratus: You're putting up your Gimmick title for Cornette?

[[ Christian takes the title off the desk and hugs it. ]]

Christian: Hell no. I'm just messing with people. I hate the title, but I don't know what I'd do without it.

Tyson Tomko: ..Hmm.

Christian: I don't know..I think I'd miss it actually. I know it's a belt for jobbers..

[[ He looks at it and smiles. ]]

Christian: But being a two-time double champion rules.

[[ He kisses it. The scene fades. ]]

[[ Back to Edge and Stacy. ]]

Edge: All I've heard all damn week is how the Undertaker is going to give me a fight. How he's going to be the man who shuts me up once and for all...But I got to send out a newsflash to all my haters, that's just not going to happen! Oh no, not to me!

[[ Edge looks into the camera, it zooms in a little bit. ]]

Edge: Because I am the Rated R Superstar. I do what I want, when I want, and whenever I want! There's not a single person in this company who can tell me likewise! I'm sure this is Jarrett's desperate attempt to punish me for helping Christian win the title from him in February, and that's fine..

[[ Edge pauses. ]]

Edge: Wouldn't be the first time I've had to fight through Jeff Jarrett's political power to come ahead in SGW..So he can send whoever he wants my way, Christian's way..Our way..And just like for the past fourteen weeks, just like the last four years...All those obstacles will be overcame..Starting this week with the Undertaker!

Stacy Keibler: He's got no chance.

Edge: Damn right he doesn't, Stacy.

[[ They kiss and Edge looks super cocky. ]]

Edge: Because he's not as big of a man as I am.

[[ Edge brings Stacy close. ]]

Edge: He's not the type of winner I am.

[[ Edge raises the title in the air. ]]

Edge: And the fact that he's the dead man. Dead men can't wrestle.

Stacy Keibler: Only in APW.

Edge: The Undertaker will live up to one claim..He will be the Dead Man..A legitimate dead man once Shock is done and over with! He'll be forced to go wrestle in APW when I'm done! He'll get beat so badly, bruised up so big..That he'll forget which era of the Undertaker he's even supposed to BE!

[[ The scene slowly fades back to Christian and the crew. ]]

[[ Back at the prison we see the group leaving with Cornette behind them. ]]

James E. Cornette: Thanks for bailin' me out. I gotta' say, that jail was nicer than the one in Daytona Beach..

Christian: Just as long as this is the last time, Corny.

Trish Stratus: We can't do this forever. The people will start complaining about our lack of creativity in our promos if they all consist of us bailing you out of jail.

Christian: I think Edge unloading on Venis ended the uncreative cries.

James E. Cornette: Funniest damn thing ever!

Christian: Well yeah..What's even better is that Edge isn't going to jail for rape.

Trish Stratus: So Jim, what song did you sing this time?

James E. Cornette: The hell you talkin' about?

[[ His face slowly turns red. ]]

Trish Stratus: As many times as we've bailed you out of jail, we know you sing bad eighties songs.

Christian: You sing "It's Raining Men?"

James E. Cornette: Hell no!

[[ Cornette stops walking. His angry tone ends and he speaks sounding embarrassed. ]]

James E. Cornette: "I'm So Excited."

[[ He bows his head in shame. ]]

Christian: Ouch...That's...Wow..I got nothing.

Tyson Tomko: ..Idiot.

[[ They get to the taxi and Cornette gets in before Christian. ]]

Trish Stratus: C'mon Jim, we'll go try to find your dignity.

[[ The scene fades. ]]

[[ We slowly fade back in as Edge and Stacy are sharing a wild kiss that's just never ending. Edge notices the camera and he pulls on Stacy's lip. They stop and Edge, all arrogant and cocky as always, goes back to speaking. ]]

Edge: Tomorrow night on Shock will go down as one of the biggest letdowns in history, even making the Val Venis title reign look like a celebration...Jeff Jarrett is going to do what he can to punish Christian and I, and I'm the first to get fed the punishment, and that's fine. I'll overcome the obstacles again, because the Undertaker is nothing compared to the Rated R Superstar in no shape, form, or fashion!

Stacy Keibler: Not even close!

Edge: I'm going to take those fifteen years of dominance 'Taker has, and I'm going to flush it down the damn toliet! And what I do to 'Taker will draw more people asking questions like they are right now about what I did to Val Venis..The brutality of the Undertaker's beating will make what happened to Val Venis look AMATEUR!

[[ You see a wild look in Edge's eyes. ]]

Edge: When the people look in the ring and see what I've done to the Undertaker, they'll be asking once again, "why did you do it?" "What were you thinking?" And I'll look the question askers in the face, and I'll tell them.."Why did I do what I did to the Undertaker?..It's simple." I'll tell them I did it..Because..

[[ Edge looks crazed. ]]

Edge: I CAN!

[[ Edge does a pose similiar to the Muhammad Hassan pose as Stacy rubs all over Edge. The scene cuts. ]]

[[ Yeah, Taker no showing makes me not want to finish this. ]]

[[ So here's to not having to read sixty more kb of roleplay. ]]

[[ I rule. ]]

[[ Val Venis is the worst SGW World Champion ever. ]]

[[ Matt Gorsuch deleted me off Facebook because I dropped 144k on him, made those hilarious pictures about him, and then proceeded to totally ruin his shit. ]]

[[ What a fucking sore loser. ]]

Scott Smith || xxscottxsmithxx