Throwing the jacket over my shoulders, I wish I was spending New Years on a warm beach in New Zealand. Maybe Waihi, maybe Whangamata, Whitianga or even Mt. Maunganui. In my experience summer always has been the best time for New Years. Cooking on the barbeque, wearing nothing but my board shorts, feeling the U.V. rays eating away at my skin. Alcohol running through my veins, that’s the life. Now all I have is the latter part of the equation. I guess I’ll make the most of this situation. It’s not entirely bad. Stepping down from ‘heaven’, both Justin and I peer out from behind our fortress wall.

“Three o’clock,” Justin says, and I turn my head to the right, looking past where he stands in the direction of where “three o’clock” would be.

“Which one?” I ask, trying to decipher which of the group of females I’m now looking at has caught Justin’s attention.

“Tall, blonde, great ass, small but perky breasts.” I scan with my eyes. Three blondes, two of whom could be considered tall. However one has ridiculously oversized breasts. The other one it is then!

“I see her. She’ll want something with Midori,” I say, offering a tool for Justin to use.

“It never ceases to amaze me how you can do that,” he says, marvelling at my ability to predict preferred drinks.

“If there’s two things I know, its alcohol and women. God never created a better combination.” I say, now glancing out to the crowd once again.

“Except maybe us.” I laugh a little at this. “We created us Justin. Not God.” I don’t feel an inch of remorse proclaiming my greatness over even the higher power.

“Fair enough. So where’s your target?”

“Seven o’clock.” We both twist our heads towards the back left area of the room. “The one sitting down.”

“Careful,” he warns me. We both sense a hint of sadness about this petite brunette.

“What are you thinking?” I ask rather open-endedly.

“She’s probably just broken up with somebody, and her friend dragged her out here to try to cheer her up. Chances are that same friend is now getting a quick hummer in the bathroom.” I chuckle a little. It’s kind of cruel, and sadly, it’s likely to be true. “Usually I’d say go all out for her, but you don’t want to actually break her any further.”

“You’re right,” I agree, but then wink at my friend. “I want to heal her. An Appletini should do the trick.”

“Hopefully you’re not wrong,” he says, as we both prepare drinks for our intended goals.

“Please, I’m never wrong!” I grin. “Good luck.

“You too…” And with that we both leap clear over the counter and head off in our own directions.

Happy New Years.

Lee Stone is back.