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Let me get this straight… in one night, I had the World Title taken from me, in the same freaking manner that I had the Universal Title taken from me two years ago, and now I am without either…

AND, Zach Rizza, who by that point was no longer an XWF employee, attacked Christian Connolly, leaving me to fall to an illegal double team move, therefore costing me the Tag Titles as well…

Did I get that right? Did I miss anything?

I mean, is there nobody who can actually beat me one-on-one to take any of these titles from me? Is there no team who can actually beat Christian Connolly and I, two-on-two, to take the Tag Team Titles from us? I guess what I’m saying is, now that I’m standing here with just the Stable Title over my shoulder, I am still The World’s Greatest. Thanks to Fran Damage’s distinct lack of intelligence, I am now the rightful holder of both the Universal and World titles, yet remain uncrowned. If by some unfortunate series of events, I don’t walk out of Hell on Earth as the Universal Champion, then I can still lay claim to being deserving of the World title still! I understand his not wanting me to have both, but couldn’t he have just thrown me to the sharks and at least given me the chance to fight my way out with my title, even if the odds were ridiculous. That way I’d know that I at least could get beaten – provided I lost the title at all. Now, all that Fran’s managed to do, is make me feel like I’ve been screwed again, and the last thing you’d think that anybody would want, is Lee Stone being agitated at you, personally.

I guess with that being said, I should bring into query Zach Rizza’s decision to fuck with my gold two weeks in a row. Zach is the reason that I am no longer the World or Tag Team Champion, and if he thinks that I’m not going to hunt him down like the animal that he is – well… he’d be right.

What?

Lee Stone fears Zach Rizza?

Don’t even start saying that shit. I will gladly put a gun to Fran Damage’s fucking head, forcing him to rehire you, if that’s what you want me to do Zach. Then I’ll force Fran to put you across the ring from me. All you’ve got to do is say ‘pretty please’, and I will kick your ass so hard, that you will fly around the Earth, and touch down back where I kicked you exactly 24 hours later. You want to get stomped Zach, you’ve just gotta ask and I’ll have it arranged. But if you think that you’re actions have gotten under my skin, then you grossly overestimate yourself.

Zach, my name is Leroy Bruce Stone, and I am better than you will ever be.

Live with that, dude.

Never forget, that the last time you faced Lee Stone one-on-one, I mopped the floor with you so badly that you spent all that night crying, while staring at a picture of me and jerking off, using your own tears as lubrication. Much like what you’re probably doing right now. Disturbing… I know, but that doesn’t change the truth value of it.

All you are Zach… all you ever were, was a hyperactive cat running around my feet, trying to take swipes at my ankles and chew on my socks, just to try to get my attention. And the solution to cat’s that do that is simply, pick them up and put them outside. Sooner or later, they then begin to whine, and scratch at the door. But by then, I’ve got a microwave dinner on my knees, and I’m watching Boston Legal on the television.

I’ve completely forgotten about you by then.

How does that make you feel Zach? How do you feel when you find out that all you ever were, was a grain of sand in my eye, that with one blink, falls to the floor, and loses all meaning? To you, this was the exclamation mark on your work for the last two weeks. For me, it was just another day at the office, and not even an exceptionally stressful one.

You can have the last laugh Zach, because you’re the only one laughing. In fact, you’re the only one who heard the joke. The rest of us just simply don’t care – as is usual with most things that you do.

Because of you, I’m now receiving a shot at the Universal Title at Hell on Earth. So thanks for that Zach. And as far as mine and Christian’s Tag Team Titles go, you can expect us to be cashing in for a rematch after the Pay Per View. A three-time Tag Team Champion, sounds a lot better than a two-time, doesn’t it?

Heavy D, Reggie Fresh, keep that in mind. You guys didn’t beat us. We lost because we became complacent enough to trust that Fran Damage’s security was enough to keep people out of the building who weren’t supposed to be there. No biggie though, if you make it out of Hell with the titles, we’ll be taking you straight back there to get them back.

You can count on that.

The reason we’re letting you slide at the Pay Per View itself though, is because as one of you said in the build up to last week’s match, we have bigger fish to fry. But we always make time to deviate from hauling in kingfish, to collect oysters along the beach. It’s the little things like that, that make us such swell guys.

So keep our belts nice and warm. We’ll be needing them back soon enough.

You can follow those instructions too, Daniel Malcolm. I’ll be needing my title back soon.

You know, Dan, it pleases me to no end that the powers-that-be have deemed it appropriate to respond to my wishes with exactly what I wanted: your head on a four-sided platter. Because that’s what they are doing here Dan… they’re feeding you to me like the pathetic excuse for a champion that you are. I mean look at the facts, you are the Universal Champion; I was the Star of the Month for last month; you’re officially recognized as the best that this company has; I am considered the best by all and sundry, yourself included. So why is this match, not the main event? I can tell you why Dan, it’s because the people think that Bigg Rigg versus Christian Connolly would be a closer battle than Daniel Malcolm getting beaten by Lee Stone. Their match will be more of a show that the fans can enjoy. This little bout between you and me though, it’s not even a competition… this is Massacre.

I’ve made it no secret that I loathe everything that you stand for. I know that worries you Daniel, since every second that you breathe, is spent trying to garner approval for your actions. Your heart gets all fluttery anytime Steve Jason or Andy Cortinovis commends you on your work. In your personal life, you spend every moment trying to please Patience and sweet little Caroline, to the point where I’m sure Miss Pryce must get sick of your constant neediness. But then there’s me, isn’t there Dan? There’s always been Lee Stone. You’ve craved my approval since our first encounter, because while you rode into our first match, back at X-Mas X-Treme 2005, with a steam train of momentum, you ran head first into the ultimate momentum killer: Lee Stone. And it was at this moment that you realized that you were not the great hope for the future that everyone had billed you as. You became just another statistic on Lee Stone’s list, that already included your ‘mentors’. Don’t get me wrong though Dan, I am always here to give credit when I feel that it is due, and you have come a hell of a long way since then. You have been ground-down, face-first, into the mud, only to keep crawling forward with a stubborn determination that at times makes me think there may be hope for you yet. But every time you get back up, I have always been there to put you back down, just as I am now. For every inch you move forward towards the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, I move two. And so always Daniel, always will your path lead you towards the obstacle too high for you to go over, too low for you to go under, and too wide for you to go around. You will always have to go through Lee Stone. I am your immovable object. I am your White Whale.

And this is why you crave my approval just the same as you crave it from those who you love, and those who have taught you. You know by now, that the only way you are going to be getting past me on the path, is if I acknowledge that you deserve to go before me, so I let you past. You also know, that the best way for me to acknowledge that, is if you can provide me with irrefutable evidence to it’s truth – mainly, a victory over me. If you beat me, you know that you are well on your way to having me clear the path for you.

In an ideal world Dan, you would beat me this coming Massacre. But this world is anything but ideal. The thing is… you should already know that by now, too.

You crave my approval Daniel because I am your ultimate nay-sayer. I am the guy who has always looked upon you and wondered what the big deal was. It drives you insane to think that after everything you’ve done, there are people out there who still doubt you. But tell me Dan, do you not still doubt yourself? Are you not sitting at home now, questioning whether or not you have what it takes to change your very fate – your entire life, by finally getting that elusive, decisive victory over The World’s Greatest? Of course you are, after all, you are only human, and for anyone to suggest that when they step into the ring with Lee Stone they don’t have butterflies in their stomach, is just a giant fucking lie.

Because of this constant hunt for my appreciation, it did not surprise me one bit to see in your most recent promo that you delivered a quick speech in Zach Rizza’s direction, warning him of the ramifications of fucking with Lee Stone. Despite the fact that for the past few weeks, I have been consistently belligerent in both action and thought towards you, you are still – possibly subconsciously – trying to appease me by demeaning Rizza. Don’t get it twisted Dan, the enemy of my enemy is NOT my friend.

We are not, nor will we ever be, friends. You will not get the approval you so desire. It simply won’t happen, and I can very easily explain why:

You will not beat me.

That’s the only way you know how to get the nod from me, and it’s something that just won’t happen.

You’ve got to find another way. ‘But what could that possibly be?’ I hear you ask yourself. ‘I thought Lee Stone was such an egomaniac that the only way to get across any point to him that he didn’t believe in, was to beat it into him’.

Dan, that’s the exact sort of thinking that causes everybody to beat me. After three or so years, if you still think that I’m just some cocky punk kid (despite me being 30 – practically making me a grandpa in this company), then you really haven’t learnt anything at all.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret Daniel. I am arrogant, I am egotistical, I am a self-centered narcissist who loves the sound of his own voice – that is all true, but I’m also the most passionate, the most determined, the most stubbornly loyal prick you will ever meet. What that means Dan, is that anything that I do, I do one-hundred percent or not at all. I take pride in everything, and that’s why I’m able to cut down any person, no matter how big, fast, or talented they may be. My competitive spirit is unrivalled. You can have whatever fire lit underneath you that you’d like. You can be motivated by revenge such as you are against John Gambino, or by a friendly competitiveness that might come out if you were across the ring from Alex Cutwright, or you can be trying desperately to make a point at the expense of myself – whatever your motivation, I can always out-gun you. That’s why I always win. What you’ve got to do Daniel, is try to figure out why my fire always burns the strongest… or somehow try to pour the entire water volume of the Pacific Ocean onto it to put the fire out, but that’s just not feasible. If you can do that though Dan, either of them, then you can beat me.

But you can’t.

Don’t forget Daniel, that it was BoonDock Saint who I beat at X-Mas X-Treme in 2005. It was BoonDock Saint who I beat at Snow Job 2006. It was BoonDock Saint who I beat in the weeks leading up to Autumn In Hell 2006. In order to further your personal vendetta against Rigg, you’ve set your career back two whole years, by reverting to a name and persona that I, along with every other fan and wrestler that was around back then, associate with having been knocked the fuck out by Lee Stone, not once, not twice, but three times. Was that really a smart move? Was it really worthwhile to show Rigg that he’s gotten under your skin so much that you’d be willing to sacrifice everything you’ve worked for? This time Dan, the questions aren’t rhetorical. Only you can answer them.

It doesn’t matter what name your using though, my friend. BoonDock Saint, ArchAngel, Daniel Malcolm… they’re all the same person. They’re all you. You can’t escape the history of one by reverting to another. It will always follow you. That’s why, ever since I beat you for that third time, I’ve taken issue with you. You are the same man who claimed that I didn’t deserve to be where I was in the company, the very same man who claimed that you deserved every opportunity that I was given, despite you getting the fucking chances anyway, and me having to wait two whole god damn years to get a shot at the gold I never lost. After I beat you Dan, you still stuck to the same tired, fucking story, despite the proof being beaten into you!

Nothing has changed since then Daniel. You are still that man. You hide it so well, that you don’t even have to pretend to be different. You legitimately do want to forget that man. But you can’t… and I won’t.

It’s been a long time coming Daniel, but you’re about to answer for all of your sins, and I’m about to be rewarded for all of my trials and tribulations.

Can’t you just feel it in the air?

That is judgment being passed.

That is you, knowing full and well, that you are about to have an extremely unpleasant day.”