Thursday, September 28, 2006 – Denver, Colorado
“People…
People are fake. They’re liars, cheaters, frauds and thieves. They’re egocentric and self-centered. They’re jealous, manipulative, greedy jackasses. It’s a fact. I don’t need to exaggerate that. This ain’t no hyperbole shit. The human race is a plague upon the face of the world. A virus that infects everything. We can’t keep out hands to ourselves. We think we have the answers to everything, but we only wind up destroying it even further. We fuck everything up. And do you know why that is? It’s not because we’re stupid or ignorant, out egos don’t let that be the case. The human race as a whole has an amazing array of knowledge, we’ve come so far and are so god damn greedy that we will go much, much further. No, the problem isn’t that we give the wrong answers, it’s that we answer the wrong questions… or we don’t even have a question to begin with.
We’ve stopped questioning things. We’ve stopped asking why. We’ve stopped asking how. We’ve stopped trying to apply our knowledge. Look at our kids for example. Not a single child who has ever learnt mathematics hasn’t asked their teacher to explain just how algebra and trigonometry are going to help them out in their future profession, packing groceries at a supermarket or cleaning the toilets at the same damn school that they tried so hard to escape from. We know so much, yet don’t know how to use it.
I’ll admit that there are some exceptions. Some people use that same mathematics to journey into the vast universe, or the tiny molecules that make up that very same universe. But let’s look at the other side of the education system: arts and humanities. Let’s look at images; let’s look at music; let’s look at literature. Will somebody please tell the purpose of all this? You can’t do it. It’s been lost. People try to find it, I’ll give our species that. We’re so damn in love with ourselves that the notion of forgetting something that we once knew drives us absolutely insane. But as the saying goes “it’s always in the last place that you look” and because we’re still looking for it, we quite obviously have yet to find it.
Luckily for us however, hope isn’t lost. We’ll keep searching because something tells us that if it’s important then we’ll find it, and that same thing tells us that what we’ve lost is most definitely important. That thing is hope. And if there is a God, and he truly is interested in seeing us prevail over evil, then we will never eradicate the hope from this world. Because the day that happens… the very hour, minute and second in which the last person thinks that success is impossible, is the time that Armageddon arrives. And by that I don’t mean me making you tap out to my very own interpretation of Armageddon and making you wish that I’d end your world right there. I mean the very literal destruction of the human race and everything we are.
Now however, you’re being given more reason to believe in God. You’re being given more reason to hold onto hope for just a second later, because I believe I have the answer and I believe I have the question that the answer belongs to. And the question… the question is the one thing that has boggled the greatest minds…
What is the meaning of life?
As for the answer, well it’s simple. It’s something we already know. When it comes to the meaning of life, there is nothing that separates us from the animals. Whether it’s the chimpanzees who share 98% of our DNA, the dolphins who are regarded as one of the smartest creatures in our world, the crocodiles and sharks who have survived unchanged for longer than the Homo erectus populations that once dominated the planet can remember, or the ants that scurry about on the ground… victims to almost every other creature in existence, past, present or future. We are here to live, breed and then die. Then our offspring will follow the same path. And then their offspring… and their offspring… and their offspring… and so on and so forth. It’s a never-ending cycle. A chain of events that is the same for every organism, despite the rate at which those things happen being different.
The answer is that simple, the problems that we face today are simply a negative side effect of the adaptive features our species has acquired in order to complete our sole function in life, the most notable of these being our intelligence. Did you know that the Neanderthal man actually had a larger brain capacity to modern humans? Anatomically they were the same, however Neanderthals had larger and more powerful brains. They’re dead though. They were smarter than us, yet they’re dead. Real encouraging isn’t it? Of course, our survival instead of theirs was based purely upon natural factors, namely the climate swinging into the warmer range that favoured or more slender frames, but that’s not the point. The point is that despite Neanderthals being smarter than us, they were unable to change the world around them to survive. We’re now experiencing their problem, the difference is that we’ve been trying to change it.
We got lucky against the Neanderthals, and as the sole survivors of the Homo genus, our intelligence sets us apart from the other creatures of this world, giving us an adaptive advantage. But competition between each other is what’s caused us to become such assholes. They call it intraspecific competition, and regardless of what we’ve achieved through science to change the world, we still fit the basic profile of intraspecific competition. Through our jobs we compete for food and other resources, through our social lives we try to compete for mates. We are still basic animals, and the fact that we don’t see ourselves as that has bad repercussions. It makes us false. It makes us fake. We lie about who we are to try and get further in life, and that applies to our professional and our personal lives.
The point of literature, images and music has always been the same: to teach us. It’s supposed to teach us how to succeed. How to be complete people, secure in our appearances and in our abilities. Because a complete person gets the right mate; the mate who will help them create the right kind of offspring who will be raised to be a complete person in their own right. They’ll be a good person. They won’t lie because they won’t need to. They won’t be in love with themselves, because they know that all the love they need will be provided by the mate that they find. They won’t be a jackass, they’ll be…
Perfect.
Gimme four tequila shots.” Lee Stone drops a few notes onto the bench of the bar. As is the case with most nightlife, light appears to be shunned in this bar, where a slight golden aura floats through the air from a few scattered lamps on the walls and bar. This isn’t a nightclub exactly, so the people sitting around tables in their own small congregations can be excused for not partying like it’s 1999. A small stage is in one corner of the room however, with plenty of space around it, and for the most people in the building appear to be in their early twenties. At least Lee is out at a place where a man of his age should be for a quiet drink.
Four shot glass are placed in front of Lee, and each is filled with tequila. Lee smiles as not a single drop touches the benchtop, despite the woman pouring the shots seemingly keeping the bottle upside down the entire time.
“I gotta tell you the truth,” the bartender says, placing the bottle of tequila under the counter and then looking back up to Lee. “I have no idea what you were just talking about.”
“One tequila.” Lee knocks back the first of his tequila shots, and seemingly shrugs it off. As he swallows, the full-faced grin we all know Lee by appears on his face. “I’m talking about people sweetheart. I’m talking about why none of us know what the hell we’re doing in life. I’m talking about the very reason we’re here.”
“In that case, I have no idea why you’re talking about that.” She smiles at Lee. Seeing a man approach from Lee’s left, she quickly fills up a glass of beer and slides it along the counter. The beer reaches the man before he reaches where she stands, and through all that she doesn’t take her eyes off Lee. His eyes narrow and for the first time since breaking up with his ex-fiancée he actually takes the time to examine the merits of this woman who he has only been talking to for a short time now. It’s been a pretty one sided conversation, but already Lee finds that she’s a good listener. That’s got to be a plus right? Of course, she could be putting on an act because it’s her job to keep the profits of this place up, and the longer Lee is sitting on that barstool, the longer he is going to be buying drinks.
She’s got a rocking body, that’s another plus. Her hair resembles Mandy’s, which drives Lee crazy, but she has a slimmer body and smaller breasts. A few freckles on her face gain Lee’s attention, but it’s in her eyes that Lee sees the most attractive feature of her. Lee Stone is a huge supporter of the theory that the eyes are windows to the soul. No matter what you do or say, your eyes tell the truth. You can hide them behind contact lenses but the emotion still comes through. This woman’s brown eyes are honest. They’re since. They actually care.
“And you’d have every right to ask that. Two tequila.” He gulps down the second shot that was in front of him. The taste stays in his mouth a little while, but his face soon returns to it’s normal state. ”But let me ask you this luv…”
“It’s Sam,” the bartender interrupts.
“I’m sorry?” Lee asks, a little perplexed by her last statement.
“My name… it’s Sam.” She smiles sweetly and leans against the counter.
“Well Samantha…” he starts with a wink. “Have you ever been in love?”
“I’m guessing family doesn’t count?” She winks back confidently. Lee laughs a little.
“Not unless you’re from the South,” he responds, never one to miss out on a battle of wits.
“Minnesota actually.” And the conversation is brought back to the innocent flirtation. “St. Paul to be specific.”
“Please tell me you’re last name isn’t Clash,” he unexpectedly shoots out.
“No, it’s Le Beau.” Her puzzled look is justified. “Why do you ask?”
“I just used to know a guy from St. Paul,” Lee shrugs. “He always drove me crazy.”
“Well I can’t even drive, so you’re in luck there.” She nods at a customer who motions towards her, and then she pours a little cocktail. Placing it on the counter, it’s soon snatched away by the customer who ordered it. “Regulars… you get to know them quite well. I haven’t seen you around before though. You new in town?”
“I’m here on business,” Lee says as he points to a poster on the wall behind the bar advertising the Rage in the Cage PPV and the return of Anarchy. “Don’t ask though, not really in the mood to talk wrestling.”
“Well you’re in luck then, because I wouldn’t know what to ask. I’m not much of a follower of it.”
“Thank God for that. Perhaps you can give me some perspective then?” He asks this while he spins the third shot glass of tequila around on the bench.
“How can I help?” She kindly responds.
“Well we can start by once again going back to the question have you ever been in love? Three tequila.” He knocks back the third shot, leaving just one in front of him. He shakes his head to clear it. His eyes glaze over briefly but another head shake helps him out greatly.
“No, I haven’t.” She almost seems disappointed while saying this. Lee tries to think how old she would be. 22? Give or take a year maybe? Lee fell in love at 22. Was he different to the norm? Was she different? It’s easy to point out the bad side of the human race, but when it comes to the things in life that we cherish, sense can never be made. There’s no distinct pattern. Everybody is different.
“Well then what defines who you are?” Damn. How do you even begin to answer that question? “What makes you who you are?”
“I… don’t know.” She tries to think, but Lee keeps talking, cutting off her thought process.
“I used to define who I was by two things. That hellhole up there,” he points to the XWF poster, “and of course: love. But the more I try to make myself a whole person, the more I realize that I can’t have everything I want. Something needs to be sacrificed. Now both serve as the same basic animal interaction, competition between members of the same species. But I don’t feel right without both in my life. We’ve adapted to wanting to have everything to make us appealing, but because there is no real competition that threatens our existence, we allow ourselves to settle for second best.”
“Wouldn’t it be simple enough to just not settle for second best anymore?” she asks, causing Lee to laugh a little. She doesn’t understand why Lee laughs though.
“And that right there is the effect that the modern media has on us. It gives us a good goal but fails to tell us about all the problems that we’ll face on the way. And Samantha, take it from a guy who has lived for a little longer than you, it’s hard.” He drops his eyes down to the final shot of tequila. “Real hard…”
“Harder than wakin’ up in the mornin’ and knowin’ ya gotta spend another day livin’ as a bitch?” Lee’s head rises up to look at Samantha. He smiles wryly before turning around to face the source of the voice. There, standing right in front of him is none other than former XWF Universal Champion and one of the founding members of the Blood Hounds: T Money.
“Not quite T. And definitely not as hard as getting knocked the fuck out by the one person in the world that you were confident wouldn’t be able to do that.” Lee’s bright white teeth show as he grins. “But I guess I wouldn’t need to tell you that now would I? Get this man a drink please.”
“The fuck?” T asks, raising one of his eyebrows at Lee. “I ain’t havin’ a drink wit’ you like I’m ya boyfriend. Do I look like Christina Connolly to you?”
“Well neither of you have beat me, so you do have that in common. And as for having a drink with me, I think you will. After all, how “street” is it to pay for your own drinks?” Lee pulls the stool next to him out and signals for T to sit down. Surprisingly enough, T actually accepts the seat.
“You two know each other?” Samantha asks, looking to both men as if she knows them both and is surprised she doesn’t have to introduce them.
“Like I’ve already told you, Blood Hound Entertainment spreads far and wide.” The answer doesn’t seem to satisfy Sam, who places a shot of tequila down in front of T and then looks at Lee.
“Samantha, this poor excuse for a man is the antagonist to my protagonist. He hates me so much that he’s actually willing to spend time in my company because any slip up I make, he jumps on like a fat kid to cheesecake.” Lee looks at T and nods. “And the feeling is completely reciprocated.”
“Hold up, don’t reciprocate nothin’ around me. You’ll make me feel uncomfortable and shit.”
“Shut up and drink.” Lee orders, motioning to the tequila shot in front of T. Simultaneously they knock the shots back. “Four tequila.”
“Floor?” Sam asks, clearly playing on the common saying in regards to tequila. Lee shakes his head.
“Not even close.” He looks around the room a little and sees it buzzing with a few more people. Over at the stage there appears to be some microphones and speakers being set up. “Is there a performance tonight?”
“Fuckin’ right there is,” T says, returning to the conversation. “Ya didn’t think I was followin’ your pathetic ass around did ya? I’m here promotin’ one of the rappers we’ve just signed. He’s gonna do a little show.”
“I think that’s my cue to leave then,” Lee says, noticing the crowd beginning to swell even more.
“What? You scared of the Hounds so much now that even their fans have become frightenin’?” Lee laughs quite loudly.
“Please nigga. As soon as you kiss Jon’s ass enough to get your job back be sure to beg me for another match. I’ll make sure you’re awake when the final bell rings this time, just so you can get a front row seat of my celebration.” Lee pats T on the shoulder as he jumps off the barstool. “Until then, I’ll have to settle for wiping the floor with these second-rate Blood Hounds running around in your absence. You know… that’s kind of sad. Even being a first-rate Hound puts you further down the ladder than Lee Stone, so I almost feel sorry for those morons. Almost.”
“You’ll be feelin’ sorry for yourself soon enough.” T responds, but Lee is already on his way to the door.
“I’m looking forward to it!” Lee shouts back, showing that he did hear T. He stops in the doorframe and turns back towards facing the bar. Doing a cocky little wave, he shouts once again. “It was a pleasure meeting you Samantha! And T... well… ah screw it.” He throws his arms down in defeat, having nothing good to farewell T Money with. He then steps out into the streetlights.
Sunday, October 01, 2006 – San Jose, California
After just touching down in San Jose, we find Lee Stone sitting in a black leather reclining chair in his private jet. The light floods into the room from the windows to the outside, and Lee appears to bathe in it, leaning right back in his chair and lying motionless, save for the rise and fall of his chest. With one swift move, his legs, wrapped in jeans, smack the footrest down and he sits upright. Cocking his head to the side, he brushes off a random string of cotton from the left shoulder of his white t-shirt. He then rolls his shoulders around in a couple of circles, before looking into the camera and beginning to talk.
“Good afternoon kids, welcome to another thrilling installment of the “Lee Stone says Fuck You” series, soon to be available on DVD in a shop that you can’t afford to go to… because that’s just how I roll. In today’s episode we’ll be doing whatever the fuck I want to do, because once again I have shown… nay, proved that there ain’t a damn person who can stop me from doing so. Let’s review shall we?
On Thursday, Lee Stone squared off against Jason Mudd and Andrew Gibson in a pin to win match, meaning that the first person to score a pinfall would win. And guess who scored that pinfall? Leroy Bruce Stone… again. Now maybe it’s wishful thinking on my behalf to expect Drew to not bitch about Christian Connolly getting involved, but damn… he really should’ve expected it. First and foremost, Drew did screw Christian at Rage in the Cage, and secondly, he is kind of my friend. So really Drew should’ve expected Christian’s appearance. To be honest… I’m kind of surprised that I didn’t expect it. Just to clear my own name, I had no knowledge of Christian’s intentions to appear at ringside. I didn’t even talk to him backstage because to be honest, I had a few other things on my mind, but I’ll get to them soon enough. The question remains though, if Christian hadn’t shown up, would Drew have been able to finish me off? Actually, that question doesn’t remain. We’re not living in a “what if” world. If that were the case, then KoRe would’ve won a Universal Title, but he didn’t and Drew didn’t beat me. I can’t even tell you if I was going to be down for the three count. If you’ve never been in the ring then you don’t know what it’s like to be flat on your back and feel the vibrations of that referee’s hand smashing against the mat. I swear it has the power to raise the dead. Basic human instinct tells you to get up when those vibrations shoot up your spine. I don’t think it’s possible to give a prediction of the outcome if Christian hadn’t gotten involved, so the only thing we can do now is move on. And move on I will.
I’m going to move right on over to the events that the show ended on. Wow… that was chaos wasn’t it? Kind of the opposite of what the White Order is after methinks, but hey, what would I know? It’s not like I’m a member of their little group. That’s something I want you all to know. Post it all over the official website or whatever you nerds go to in order to get your XWF fix. Lee Stone is not a member of the White Order. Nor is Lee Stone a member of the Legacy. And quite obviously, Lee Stone isn’t a member of the Blood Hounds either. So the question must be asked, what the fuck was I doing out there? Well the answer can be found by looking at how Rage in the Cage went off the air. The one word that I finished the show with… “Order”. Confusing ain’t it? The chaos appears to have traveled with me here to San Jose, but never fear, Lee Stone is here to help you make sense of it all.
Something that I hope you kids have all realized by now, is that Lee Stone keeps his eye on everything. Whether it’s the potential that some of the lower players are showing, the danger that could loom on the horizon, or the war that already is taking place. I see the great crowd reaction that wrestlers such as Honkey Lighthouse and Victor Gillean have been getting lately. I see the wheels turning in Crimson Kline’s head as he realizes that the scumbags he’s drafted to his roster see him as weak-minded. And I stood on that ring apron and saw the brawling that took place. I saw BoonDock Saint placed before Mike Raboin’s feet. I saw Arson run into a wall of three people. I saw it all… and do you know what I thought? I was digusted.
That’s where I stand amongst this all. I look at the product we sell to the world and I feel ashamed. I know this may sound hypocritical, but the egos are getting out of hand. However, the problem isn’t that the egos exist, because that would truly make me a hypocrite. The problem is that they’re completely unjustified. Let’s look at public enemy number one: The Blood Hounds. A group of individuals who have gone so ego-crazy, despite having proven absolutely nothing. And I swear that if I hear a single one of you talk about how T Money and Sewaside dominated everybody, I think I just might go crazy and start killing people. Not only did neither of those fools dominate me… not only did they conveniently disappear the moment I returned to XWF television… but even with their relatively impressive records, it’s their records. Dynamic Dynamite didn’t dominate everybody. Arson didn’t dominate everybody. Sabrina Wilson didn’t dominate everybody. Star may dominate the cruiserweight division, but until she steps up to the top of the mountain and still dominates, she will mean abso-fucking-lutely nothing to me. And as for Tyger Lilly… well, as much as I try to like the girl, she sure as hell ain’t dominating anybody. They’ve done nothing to prove that they deserve their egos and reputations, yet they still have them. And that… that’s pathetic.
So right now, I support the White Order’s actions. I support the fact that they very much share the same mindset as me. I support my friends in Alex Cutwright and Mike Raboin. I support advancing the careers of Victor Gillean and Tony Capretti who could be huge stars in the future. And I support their dislike for my opponent this week: BoonDock Saint, a.k.a. Daniel Malcolm. The rest of the Legacy, I have no problem with. Christian Connolly is still my boy while Zach Rizza and Patience Pryce have done no wrong by me. But with Dan at the helm, they’re walking in the wrong direction.
Please allow me to tell you all something about Dan Malcolm. The current XWC World Champion is a mediocre athlete. He has survived this long on luck and potential. But when it came down to finding out exactly where his skill level was at, he failed. Twice. Both times he fell before the one man who represents exactly what the pinnacle of in ring ability is… me.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll freely admit that Dan has potential. That’s what got the fans behind him when he first entered into the realm of the XWF. That’s what gave him the fan support that willed him through the Lord of the Ring match, when endurance no longer mattered. That’s what got him his second match against me. But potential alone only gets you so far. The moments that truly define your career happen when you’re given an opportunity to use that potential, and you actually use it. Dan’s potential gave him two opportunities to use that potential of his against me, but he didn’t rise to the occasion. Now we find him with the XWC World Title and acting as if he’s king of the world. Well Dan, your buddy Caedmon has given you a huge opportunity here. He’s given you the chance to use your potential once again. The question the entire world now wants to know though is “are you ready?” Is your mind where it should be? I don’t think it is Dan. I think you need to get your mind off Raboin. I think you need to get your mind off Dynamite. I think you need to get your mind off Steven Jason and focus on the accolade you cannot lay claim to, despite how much you’ve tried. And that accolade is a win over Lee Stone.
Since I mentioned Steve Jason, let’s take a little glance back into the past though, shall we Dan? Let’s look at what Stevie J’s last match in the XWF was. Hmm… let me think. Oh wait! I’ve got it! Steve Jason vs. T Money vs. Jem Williams vs. Lee Stone… yeah, his last match was against three of his biggest rivals. Had we thrown Bigg Rigg, Judas Iscariot and Cyren in there, Steven would’ve been able to close every book he ever opened. Guess who is nowhere in sight though Dan… that’s right, the answer is you. You want to try and drag Steven out of retirement? Well join the back of the fucking queue. I have no doubt that Rigg would love another match against the guy. The same can be said for Cyren, Judas, Jem, T and even myself. We all want our chance to finish what we started one-on-one, and what right do you have to try and stop us? What right do you have to try and jump the line ahead of five former Universal Champions and one of the most imposing wrestlers to ever step foot in that XWF ring? I’ll tell you right now Dan… you don’t have any right.
Now let’s play out that match shall we? Steve Jason escapes the cage. Lee Stone escapes the cage. Then with the help of Sewaside, T Money escapes the cage. Hold up, let’s rewind. With Jem and T still in the ring, Lee Stone and Steve Jason were still at ringside. We can’t forget what happened there can we? We can’t forget the last image of Steve Jason ever shown on XWF programming. We can’t forget him bowing before Lee Stone. Is that really the man you’re so desperate to face Dan? A man who in his last two matches against me before that cage match took place, suffered two additions to his loss record. Truth be told Dan, Steve Jason is a legend. You’re right in wanting to face him. But from what I gathered when you were out on that stage talking to good old Crimmy Kline, you were looking past me to Steven. And if Steve was right here talking to you in the place of me, do you know what he’d tell you? He’d tell you to stop being such a moron. He’d tell you that if you took your eye off Lee Stone for one moment, it would all be over with. Then he’d wonder why you haven’t learned this yet, despite losing to Lee twice, just like Steven has. And then I’d butt into your little heart to heart with the answer to his questions. You’ve stopped using your head Dan.
There you stand, the XWC World Champion, in the main event of Anarchy where you belong. But here’s where I get a little confused. Why is it, that despite you supposedly being the top man in the company, Lee Stone is still considered the favourite in this match? The answer is the same again Dan; you’ve stopped thinking.
I’ve heard you talking Dan. While I was out and about helping Jon try to win his little war against the Hounds, I was always watching. Much like I’m always watching now. I watched you Dan and I heard what you had to say. I heard you call me boring. I heard you whining about how you don’t get the respect you deserve. Here’s an idea you never thought of though, maybe you do get all the respect you deserve, you just don’t deserve much. I’m the kind of guy who is able to find something respectable about men such as Judas Iscariot, despite him being a lunatic whose sole purpose in life appears to be the destruction of Steve Jason. The reason I’m able to do that, is because I respect his ability to be consistent. His goal never changed, and his methods never change. He never changes. Judas Iscariot doesn’t pretend to be somebody else. Neither does Steve Jason. Neither does Jem Williams. T Money, Bigg Rigg, Andrew Gibson, Dynamic Dynamite, Trent Gein… all the champions of the last few years, they never change. But you Dan, you seem to have the ability to completely transform who you are. What happened to the BoonDock Saint who respected Lee Stone? What happened to the BoonDock Saint who would strive so hard to get to the top? Now all I see is somebody who demands that everything be given to him on a silver plate. I even believe I heard you complain that Jon should’ve taken the Universal Title off me and given it to you. Literally given it? Fuck me, you’ve changed. I don’t know which BoonDock Saint is the real one anymore.
The thing is Dan, you haven’t done anything to justify having an ego that surpasses even my own. I look at that little “Litany of the Saint” list you have, and there isn’t a damn thing impressive about it. Especially nothing to warrant this kind of change in attitude. I mean, who the fuck have you beaten in DW or XWC that proves you’re the best wrestler in the world? Rob Hollywood, Joey Riot, William Draco… who the fuck are they? Mike Raboin? Tyger Lilly? Well guess what, those two haven’t beaten Lee Stone, so what the hell makes you so sure you can? I’m telling you Dan, it’s flat out illogical.
I’ll leave you with one final piece of information that you’d do well to remember buddy… I am Lee Stone, the Past, Present and Future of the XWF. And above all else, I am the World’s Greatest.
Peace…”
And the scene now fades to black.